Forcing an Alter Switch in Dissociative Identity Disorder

October 9, 2019 Becca Hargis

Should a loved one or a friend ever be allowed to force a switch in someone with dissociative identity disorder (DID)? What does forcing a switch mean? Let's go back to basics first.

In DID, a switch is when a person changes from one alter ego state to another, or, in very loose terms, from one personality to another. This is usually caused by a trigger that initiates or activates a switch. Triggers can be either positive or negative. A positive trigger is something non-trauma related and is pleasant enough to cause an alter to come forward and experience happy emotions, such as a special toy, cute puppies, or a favorite ice cream flavor. A positive trigger, in some instances, can be used to bring forth an alter.

Reasons Alters Switch

Alters within a system switch for a variety of reasons, but there is always a trigger, whether or not we can define what it is. Alters (headmates) can switch for all types of reasons depending on the trigger. Switching between headmates is usually involuntary, and can cause a great amount of distress with the alter.

Every DID system is unique. Some people with DID have more control over their switching than other people with DID. In a typical system, one alter generally takes over if the circumstances need it. For example, there was an occasion when I was under extreme emotional duress, and I wrote in my system's shared journal that if there was a headmate that was able to come forth and take my place, please do so. I then felt myself disappear and I remember nothing after that. A different headmate volunteered to step forward (or "front") because she had the skills and abilities to function under circumstances in which I could not.

Forcing and Triggering an Alter to Switch

I cannot speak for all DID systems, but there are times when it isn't appropriate to call, trigger, or force another alter to switch. 

  1. One example is when other people do not like the alter that is currently fronting and want to speak with someone else. Asking for and trying to force a different alter to come forward because you do not like the present alter is tantamount to being in gym class in middle school and feeling left out because no one wants to pick you for his or her team. Asking for and triggering your favorite alter to come forward can be irresponsible, inconsiderate, and rude. Alters are not created for the entertainment of others. They were created for survival, not for games.
  2. Another example of inappropriately forcing out an alter would be asking the name of the alter who is currently fronting. Each system, and really each alter, should determine whether they are comfortable with giving someone on the outside his or her name. A name identifies who we are, it has meaning and value, and some alters in a system might not be ready to be revealed. This also includes mentioning the name of an alter to bring him or her forward. 

Repercussions of Forcing an Alter Switch

Headmates will come out when there is a need for them. Switches happen when there is a trigger and a different headmate with a different role and skills is needed. If a member is not ready to come out, but you provoke him or her by using a name and triggers, it can ultimately be damaging to the headmate and the system. This casual lack of thought and consideration can lead to feelings of mistrust and betrayal. At the very least, it's abusive to the alter that was intentionally triggered.

Furthermore, it teaches the system that they have no control or voice as to what happens to their system or themselves. Feeling out of control will also lead to feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, feelings from which they already experienced from earlier traumatization.

Lastly, forcing a switch is a violation of their safety and protection.

Switching can be very unpleasant and stressful for an alter, especially if it is not done by choice. Please understand that if an alter has something to offer and is capable of coming forward, he or she will, but we are not a magic trick. We are not a freak show exhibit in a circus for the peanut-crunching crowds to view. 

Tags: alter switch

APA Reference
Hargis, B. (2019, October 9). Forcing an Alter Switch in Dissociative Identity Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 13 from

Author: Becca Hargis

Becca is a mental health advocate who is passionate about ending the stigma against mental illness. She is currently writing a book on her experiences with dissociative identity disorder. You can connect with her on her personal blog, TwitterFacebook and on Instagram.

Juan Cruz
August, 26 2023 at 3:51 am

got a 19 year old with d..i.d. , she has a alter who tells her to punch the wall and to harm herself, she tries to switch but even when he leaves he comes back . I know u ain't suppose to force a switch when one comes out but what can she do to stop him for telling her these things?

Mary Gwin
December, 25 2023 at 6:10 pm

I would encourage this alter to come out and talk to his therapist about why he is hurting it punishing the body? Did another aler do something that he feels requires him to hurt them? Did he do something that he feels the body needs punishment for? Does he even realize that when he hurts the body then every one in that body gets hurt. What is happening within him that is causing him to want it needed to hurt the body they ask live in? I'm sure you're daughters therapist has had her get a notebook to have each alert write their thoughts/feelings on so they can communicate with one another. Before my alters could communicate in my mind the note book was very helpful. They can write in it anything they want. Now as their mom they might want to keep that private from you but I think if you respect their privacy it would be helpful for your daughter and her others. I'm assuming she had a professional TRAUMA therapist she sees once or twice a week. A regular therapist is better than none but with DID you really need a special trauma therapist.
Do you know why your daughter has DID in the first place? DID doesn't come from just regular trauma and usually the whole family needs therapy if they are willing. I pray you and other family.
members are getting help also. I'm not saying you are a problem with her healing, but I had to separate from my whole family. The trauma was a generational problem and I was there only one that wanted help. They didn't want me bringing to light the trauma they had kept secret for at least my whole life and for generations past. They would sabotage my healing after every turn. You need to address are you are dealing with your own trauma before you can help your daughter much. Please do that.

Helpless in my situation
July, 31 2023 at 2:22 pm

Hello! I'm going to be frank about our situation. My newly found friend/relationship has 3 alters and one doesn't like me. He's very aggressive and physically mean. He calls himself Damian. He's spoken about wanting to 'unalive' me many times and has tried. I want to keep this relationship, but this alter when switched always comes forward with this aggression. My question is: is there such thing as an "evil" alter or just an aggressive/toxic one? It's so tough finding help with this.

October, 22 2023 at 4:06 pm

They’re called persecutors. Oftentimes just very misguided protectors. That being said, the idea of an evil and toxic alter is an offensive stereotype. And remember, as much as you may love these people, your safety comes first.

April, 8 2024 at 9:41 pm

Coming from a system who has dealt with this multiple times, especially in my current marriage, just because they are a negative alter doesn’t make them a persecutor. There have been plenty of alters in my system that were toxic and did very bad things to not only me but the people in my life. Persecutors can exhibit these traits, but sometimes alters that have hard jobs like Hosts and Gatekeepers start to turn when they have been out too much, or if there is a trigger or underlying issue that is bothering them. My advice is talking to them and trying to figure out why they feel this way. why do they not like you? Do you remind them of someone who has hurt the system? Etc. I’m sorry if this doesn’t help, but I didn’t want to leave the thread with someone saying that toxic alters aren’t real, because like people, they can be very toxic.

February, 3 2023 at 3:03 pm

Hi. My husband has DID due to childhood trauma that his mind(or alter) repressed until about 3 years ago. He's 40 now. The one alter is very protective, seems to like to sabotage relationships as a way of preventing hurt and wants to be in charge. My husband has been struggling a lot lately with trying to figure out how to live with both of these people in his head. However, the protective alter doesn't seem to want us to be together and wants my husband to be free. Right now we are separated because of this and I feel so lost. I don't want to make him feel like I hate that alter or that I want to fix him, but I don't want to loose my husband because his alter doesn't seem to like me. What can I do?

March, 30 2023 at 6:22 pm

I am in a similar position. I have helped my wife for three years through over 25 different alters with different names and personalities. There has always been a destructive alter that called herself poison but she didn’t like to be the host as she was always negative and spoken accusingly, abusively as used to say she didn’t want to be here and left quickly. About 1 year ago this poison suddenly became the host, almost all other alters stopped and she systematically began to destroy our relationship. We have children but she has decided we assess separate even though we live together. I’m almost done no matter how much I love her, it’s unbearable.

Mary Gwin
December, 25 2023 at 6:22 pm

Ray, in so sorry to hear this. It breaks my heart. I'm DID and was married you another DIDer and had the same thing happen. My husband's name was Chester. He was ok but we had alers that got along and those who didn't. But suddenly all my friends in his system went away and I was left with one abusive alter named Chris. I don't know very many marriages that survive DID. After years of therapy I started to remember years and years of beatings I'd survived by this abusive alter. I wish I'd left much sooner than I did. I realized I'd never remarry again. I've learned to just be happy with myself and focus on healing my family of alters. The ones I worry about are the children there most. If after separation your other might go for couples or dinner kind of counseling on this to the children. If they've grown up around an DIDer they need counseling also, I would think. Best wishes and again I understand.

June, 25 2022 at 10:42 pm

One of the biggest perpetrators of "Multiple personalities" us the dangerous "Religious cults". More specifically the Twelve Tribes of Israel. The Tribes uses a dangerous and Illegal drug called DMT to infiltrate a victims mind. Once inside the victims mind with these drugs and other tactics the cult "Possesses" the victims brain. The multiple personalities are not actually multiple personalities but living people that are in these dangerous cults. The Twelve Tribes of Israel for instance is likely a CIA front organization. So many people that think they have DID are actually victims of these terrible CIA cults. I personally am under "Psychic attack" by the cult. I know the perpetrators names and where they work. They secretly are under the control of Donald Trump and the Trump Organization. Trump is part of the Twelve Tribes. Wich means we have cult Presidents. And cult government. So many DID victims are being held psychology prisoner by the cults.

Trina Bo bina
July, 6 2022 at 4:13 pm

You're absolutely right and it's time we stop allowing the same cycles of repeated vile torture inflicted upon each other by each other... It's the people for the people now, people are finally starting to wake up about the freaking government and in the separation of religion and disinformation. We have all the information, now we need to put all the pieces together and stop separating the data. Shouldn't be separate it's not separate.

July, 17 2023 at 1:08 am

Uh there is a bit of truth to this comment, but totally askew. I won't explain. This is a funny thought of yours. Best to take this stuff to God. Jesus is the only way. Your compilation makes me feel like laughing.

Mary Gwin
December, 25 2023 at 6:33 pm

I agree. That had been my salvation in healing. I'm still on my journey but yes Christ has all power

Mary Gwin
December, 25 2023 at 6:31 pm

I'm an MKultra survivor and understand much of evil government involvement. Not only presidents are involved. The problems is the New World Order and all their factions that infiltrate any organization that has any kinds of political influence. I had babies killed in Methodist, Presbyterian,Lutheran, Church of Christ, and many other protestant Churches. That doesn't mean there aren't good people in those organizations and that any religion is all bad. Now cults are different. But you have to know what a real cult is. I had not heard of this one before. Thanks for the education. Sounds like you've had personal experience. I'm sorry for your pain.

Crazy pants
June, 27 2024 at 4:27 pm

I just realized I had DID these past 3 years was full of even more trauma than when I was a kid. I started getting flashbacks of ppl and places. I couldn’t figure out why I was having weird flashbacks. The sad part is horrible ppl knew that about me and have a trigger word so they can control me. I feel like I have no control over my own body anymore. How can ppl do that to someone who has already been through so much and use me like this. I feel like I’m a puppet. I’m scared to tell my therapist or anyone cause I have flashbacks of ppl telling me to shut my mouth. The CIA taught these ppl how to do this to me. Who know how many others are forced into DID. Everyone please be safe. It’s scary losing time and not know what’s going on. Please don’t email me back. It’s not safe just pray for me please. “Woo on to those who would hurt my little one!”

Crazy pants
June, 27 2024 at 4:32 pm

“Woo on to those who will hurt my little ones” anyone who forces DID onto someone will have to feel gods wrath. Not feeling in control of my own body is a horrible feeling. Having others pull out my alters as a form of control is just wrong. Be safe out there all you DIDers.

May, 8 2022 at 9:03 am

I'm seeing my therapist in a couple of weeks upon inspection that I might have Mutiple Personality Disorder. There's one alter who's revealed their name to me so far which is Macy, and the other which I know is there but hasn't wanted to come out. To be honest, Macy's always been quiet and doesn't talk a lot, but helps in a lot of ways by saying words that make me happy. The other one however I feel is going to be a defense mechanism since a whole butt load of things has gone down in the past and especially now where I'm under a lot of stress due to school. Macy likes to try and switch a lot with me especially late at night (as a coping skill) where my guilt from the day will catch up to me and I curl into a ball on my bed. Macy has been here ever since two years ago, but most of my life I always felt someone else were to be in me. Yesterday night, I believe was Macy's first time ever gaining control of my body as I cannot really remember anything during that time. I believe she only switched for a few minutes as it was already 12 am and I was tired from the day's work, (which was getting gifts and cooking my favorite meals for mother's day as a surprise) but my true question is how to get them to properly switch over. You see, Macy has never fully gained control before, it's always been dizzying headaches and the feeling of her trying to gain control. I want to let her font, but I feel tired on a daily bases. Can someone help me?

April, 1 2022 at 4:57 am

Does anyone remember their first switch? When I was in kindergarten I lost all my skills, regressed back to infancy essentially. Use your imagination. This made school hell. Didn’t really start talking until 3rd grade or so. I lost all these memories from grade 8 till 18. Since then the repressed memories have flooded me again and again. Newly navigating DID with a professional but it’s like coming home… finally

April, 3 2022 at 4:10 am

Could someone here help me with an issue? I've been diagnosed with DID, found out about my alters and it didn't go well... They almost all hated each other... I would have graphic wars amongst then going on in my head... Like I could see them in the back of mind killing each other for control... But since none of them could die that way they would just come back and continue fighting... This went on for months I tried conversation and compromising, even dictatorship but nothing really worked... They recently went dormant fronting wise and some seem to have disappeared. My old triggers won't work anymore to bring them out unless it's a flashback or new trauma happening. I need some alters for being social and some for being productive in different situations but now they have either gone into hiding or disappeared and the ones that do talk only argue and only front to leave a situation instead of acting. I can't seem to get them to get along anymore or talk to me(peacefully) and the only person who they will talk to is in another state. I do have one alter who still fronts but she is not healthy for me and is hated by all of my other alters because she will only do one or 2 things and both are an evil and bad habit; plus she won't talk to anyone and only front when me and my other alters are exhausted from the day. She is also the only female alter as we are all males. We tried convincing her that her habits were bad things, locking her up in the darkest corners of my mind as well as killing her... but none have been able to stop her for more then a few weeks. I need to get control again over her do the others will feel safe coming out. Any suggestions on how to handle my situation?

October, 30 2022 at 9:39 pm

Well you need to make a safe plasse like for me it is a resort where we each get our own rooms there once they get cofterble talk to them and then try to set some ground rules but trust me they won’t listen to you at first until they trust you

February, 8 2022 at 1:23 pm

I have it recently been diagnosed with DID albeit I have had the condition for many years. It is only recently that it really manifested itself mainly due to a major family bust up. That was 7 months ago. My spouse has had a hard job coming to terms with it but is trying hard to understand it. She has met 2 of my alters and has learnt to get along with them. However, sometimes I disappear at inopportune moments and that frustrates her. She then starts shouting at the alter who fronted me to go and get me back and that really upset him and the system went into meltdown. Fortunately, I have managed to smooth things over in the system and slowly building up the trust we had. I have spoken to my spouse about this but it is not easy for her to grasp that something simple can trigger a switch. Sometimes I can switch for hours or a couple of days. I am just not sure how to get her to understand the damage that can be done by trying to force me to switch back. I am still waiting to have an appointment with a phsycologist but hopefully that will only be a few weeks away now.

Jessica Benson
August, 19 2021 at 12:53 am

How do I tell my therapist I think I have Multiple Personalities? Or how do I trick/ force the other parts of me to come out during our sessions so that my therapist can meet them and see them first hand??
I know we shouldn’t force an alter to come out but I really need help with dealing with them. And I don’t know how to ask for help with the problems I’m having with them, if I can’t prove that there here. And none of my alters likes my therapist. Or if they do they just don’t trust him enough to show themselves to him. And I honestly feel like they may go to any length to keep themselves from being seen for as long as possible. Anyone have any advice?? Wait, are we even allowed to ask for advice on here?? If we’re not allowed to ask for advice than I’m sorry. Please just email me to let me know that it is not allowed so that I know for next time. If we are allowed to ask for advice on here than yay please email me your advice. I’m stuck here. I’m not very social and have poor social skills. So just being able to email or text or any communications that isn’t face to face or seems threatening to me I feel helps with being able to open up more.

January, 13 2022 at 11:42 pm

Please consider changing to a new therapist or simply be honest with him. This will make your alters feel confident and more comfortable in your relationship with her/him.

September, 8 2022 at 6:00 pm

it was ONLY when my psychologist (new one) made all of my me's feel safe and seen. He seemed to like all the parts that showed up in therapy and they were comfortable to show themselves, one by one. still working on sharing the child because G is very protective and does not yet want that. SAFETY is the key for me.

Richard alatorre
October, 1 2022 at 1:24 am

For me I was losing time, and when I would sleep I would do things, like I could see projects everywhere like usual except (if I'm being honest) of a sexual nature which isn't totally out of the question... I used to use drugs and it was common for me to lose time but I had been clean for a while for the first time and it was still happening.
So after sinking into a deep depression I started seeing a therapist and apon hearing some of my problems, looking at my past therapists notes he asked me if we could try "parts therapy" and I was like okay and he said to just let the words flow, don't try and think and don't fight. I had no clue what he was planning so I was confused and then he said "I would like to talk to the protector" and it was the weirdest flipping thing-i just started talking except my mood switched to mad and I remember feeling pissed that he was talking to me but mainly mad that my friend Megan was there which was odd because she was my comfort zone person.. She was part of this therapy because she was helping me with a lot back then... Anyway I became very upset that she was in the room and suddenly felt like she was untrustworthy for the first time ever. Words kinda just came out, I don't remember exactly what was said because it was a little hard to concentrate except that his name was dick (mine is Richard and Incase you didn't know dick is short for Richard )and that he didn't trust my friend but essentially he just was establishing that his hunch was correct and that I was of a fragmented mind.
After they talked he asked for the child and then I sat there feeling overwhelmed, after he talked to him I don't remember if there were more that he called on because I think I fell asleep at some point and woke up mid conversation... After that he would say our time was up when I would start to get drowsy and my eyes would flutter (this is what he said "I can tell you are about to fall asleep because your eyes are starting to flutter" )but later my friend would tell me this is a sign that I was about to switch, I would lose concentration and feel super tired and then pass out... But only when switching in a good mood, out of anger or fear it feels like blacking out, I don't really remember the exact point where the started and I stopped. Turns out this was going on since I was about 6 when I was taken out of my grandma's home because they suspected her husband of doing weird things with me... I swore up and down nothing happened, I remember saying "if something happened I would know"... Turns out I just never remembered what he did and still don't know.

Mary Gwin
December, 25 2023 at 6:44 pm

I agree to be honest with your therapist and just tell him what you suspect. Are you seeing a trauma therapist? For me that was very important. I know a good one is hard to find. I went 20 yrs before finding a good trained trauma therapist that I could afford. She's been treating me now for 11 years for what I can afford to pay her. She is a true blessing from God. If I can get heard enough I want to do that for others someday. Because most DIDers dont usually have much money.

Jessica Benson
August, 19 2021 at 12:05 am

How do I get the part of me that takes care of the important things like calling insurance companies and paying bills and simply going grocery shopping to stay out long enough to actually get things done.
I was in a accident almost two weeks ago. And I think I got all the right info needed from the person responsible for hitting me and now i have to do a bunch of mumbo jumpo such as call my insurance and call the person responsible’s insurance etc.. and I don’t know of everything and everyone I need to talk to. Honestly if it was up to me I’d say screw it and just take on the bills and pay them myself just so I can avoid anymore people that’s causing me to be overwhelmed and shut down. However the part of me that is in charge of all this. They came out called my insurance was told to do something or call someone but only that part me knows what needs to be done but that part had disappeared again. And I can’t seem to get that part of me to come back out to finish everything that needs to be taken care of. I can’t do all this on my own. I don’t know who to talk to or who to rely on and who not to rely on. And it’s all just really scary to me. Because I don’t know who to turn to or not turn to for help. I don’t understand why I can’t just ask someone else who lives on my street for help with this when that is what We did when I was younger and we got by somewhat okay. We went to my neighbors for food and rides to school only when needed of course. Even asked a neighbor to teach me how to cook. (That one didn’t go so well tho ) but still. The part who is charge of importing stuff is refusing to ask for help from anyone. And I just really wanna ask a neighbor because I think they can help. What do I do?? Anyone got a clue?? please tell me..

August, 26 2022 at 10:44 am

Hey Jessica my name is Rylee. I’ve struggled with this issue many times. Don’t be ashamed of your problem and most people are good natured. I doubt you’ll have hard time getting any one of your next door neighbors to help. It doesn’t mean you’re brushing the problem under the rug so to speak it just means that you’re dealing with your issues in the best way that you can until you can fix yourself. You shouldn’t feel the need to hide any shortcomings you feel you might have we all have them the important thing is that you’re working to get through them and as you continue to read and learn I’m sure you’ll find the answers that you’re seeking.

Jessica benson
August, 13 2021 at 6:55 am

How do I get my alters to come together and work with me?
I can’t even get any of them to help me clean up our room. They all want to do different things and it’s making me end up giving up and shutting down and we all end up sleeping.

September, 8 2022 at 6:04 pm

Jessica, I had to first get them to trust my intentions. I had to look em in the eye and tell em I loved them. that I loved them like I loved my baby (my dog she is the world to me) and after I repeated it for like 2 weeks, each night I love you to them in the eye, then I started hugging them (me) and they Flashed for me and said Hello there. now we kinda communicate and I ask them if they can help. sometimes it s hard and not easy other times it is easier. still figuring it out and scared about it really. I am not sure how many there are and who will come forward to front / drive so to speak. I am glad I found this website . i dont feel so alone with you guys and gals here.

Mary Gwin
December, 25 2023 at 6:55 pm

Ame, you've hit on an important point. I've been working with 100s of alters for about 30 yrs now.
I thought I was totally integrated for about 3 yrs and then all the sudden a whole new group that went through another kind of abuse showed up. For me it has been very important to let my others know I love them and appreciated what they have done for me even if it seems they are trying to hurt me sometimes. A very important point to make. It is also, when you get there, important to act as a parent for this very large family. If they know you love them and really care for their welfare they will respect you as their parent. Also you can create a counsel or family group to discuss issues, so every one feels heard.

Jessica benson
August, 12 2021 at 11:20 pm

I have a question. So I haven’t been diagnosed with DID. However, I do have concerns that I might have it. I’m seeing a therapist. And I want him to diagnose me properly. Because I’ve been misdiagnosed before with bipolar. So wanting him to diagnose me properly. And let’s say I do have DID. How do I get him to see what I have to go through. For him to diagnose me with DID he’d have to see the other alters. But for some reasons (side note: none of what I believe to be alters have any names), what I believe to be alters don’t show themselves to him. At least none that are extinctive. I’ve done my own research on DID came across on accident when researching attachment disorders (because I believe that one alter has Reactive Attachment disorder while another alter has Avoidant Personality Disorder). I’ve tried sitting down and just communicating with myself in my head. And writing down different things about different alters. And there’s definitely signs for concerns. How do I get my therapist to see my alters without forcing my alters to show themselves. I’ve tried tricking my therapist into triggering one of my alters. Without telling him of course. But he won’t go for it. I asked him if we could do play therapy. Which is something that he does practice and I’ve noticed that when I watch videos on play therapy my alter responds very well and is eager to participate in play therapy. However my therapist says that he needs to justify play therapy with his bosses before just adding it into our sessions. So I feel extremely stuck. Because if I feel that if we add play therapy in our sessions than my alter will join in and than that would be his justification right there. What do I do?

September, 17 2022 at 11:24 am

hi Jessica, I am sorry you are going thru this. It can be very frustrating to know inside that you are fragmented and no one see it. I would say. do not force anything. be as honest as you can and if the play sessions help, try to explain to the therapist why you feel that way. also i would say try not to diagnose the internal parts of you. it gets very messy and pushes the psychologist away. Remember every DID system is different and some parts of ourselfs do not front - and sometimes my internal parts/alters do not front they more like co pilot - ask them what they want from you. and tell the therapist what they said. You are not a liar ( my mind kept telling me "what if I am lying" ) Remember you are the only one that has been witness to the internal parts of you how fragmented they are ( some are only partially defined and some are more defined with names and likes and stuff) - I only was able to work with my Psychologist after I conveyed the deep deep feeling I was 6 years old sometimes and then we talked about age regression and boom thats how I started to get to know the different parts of me. I still sometimes which My psychologist could tell when I switch because it is so stealthy sometimes and happens often. Remember all DID systems are different and they do not look like in the movies make them to be. Most Imporantly BE PATIENT - I have to repeat that to myself. because it is going to take time for my psychologist to see it all. I asked him to record our sessions so he could better see the subtleness of my changes and he said he would think about it. only recently I discovered by accident that he DID start recording and I am happy about that, nervous yet happy that maybe he WILL be able to tell when The 6 yr old is out and when G is out. You are not alone and hang in there. I am rooting for ALL of you.

Mark Lander
July, 23 2021 at 9:26 am

Thanks to people like you spouting pseudoscience on the internet, my impressionable teenager — who has never experienced extreme trauma of any sort, at any age -- has convinced themselves they have a dissociative disorder. You are causing real harm. Please stop and leave the writing about mental health disorders to qualified professionals. Or at the very least, please tag your articles with the disclaimer that you are NOT a trained mental health professional

August, 9 2021 at 2:58 pm

Hi Mark,
My name is Natasha Tracy, I'm the Blog Manager here.
I'm sorry if anyone took Dissociative Living's work as anything other than personal experience. It certainly isn't meant to be seen outside that light. It's pretty clear whenever you look up anything about the authors what their backgrounds are.
It is very useful for those with a mental illness to read about how other people with that mental illness cope. That's what makes these blogs important.
Again, I'm sorry if these were seen in the wrong light.
- Natasha Tracy

November, 19 2021 at 5:58 am

I'm sorry to say this, but I presume you're the parent of the impressionable teenager? Perhaps you should keep an eye on your teenager and make sure they don't get in touch with information you think is so dangerous for them. Also, since the healthcare professionals you have so high in your regard seem to know very little, or very little useful, of Multiplicity. It is up to people with personal experience or those very close to them, to support each other and help each other heal. Lastly I would like to warn you, there is a lot of information out there, that you would see as very dangerous to your child. The Internet is not a playground nor a baby sitter. I suggest keeping a closer eye on your child.

September, 17 2022 at 11:35 am

Hello Mark,
I am sorry if your teenager is suffering and it sounds like you do not believe it to be a real suffering. I want to share with you that yes the internet can make it easy for people to "play doctor" on themselves. YET importantly - NO ONE in MY OWN FAMILY EVER SUSPECTED I WAS being abused from OUTSIDE the family. Also Neglect is a form of abuse that ONLY the child can determine if it is severe enough to dissociate. what I am saying it a perfectly normal LOVING family can have a child that is experiencing such internal STRESS that it is TRAUMTIC to their sense of who they are - especially if things happen between the age of 5 and 10 - for example a Flood or a hurricane or having extreme sense of being ignored or abandoned or neglected another way (like living with a narcissistic person - anyone not just family) in my case a near by explosion when I was 5 or something like happened and the chaos of the moments harmed me and then other abuses that happened to me repeatedly and NEVER NEVER did my mother or father know about it. I suffered in silence. - I hope you just get your child help - they seem to be experiencing SOMETHING and you are absolutely right that ONLY a psychologist (not a therapist pls get a PhD) can help your child. Please show Love to your teen and get them help. they are asking for help even if they do not know what they are talking about specifically... they ARE asking for help.

October, 22 2023 at 6:48 pm

That sounds more like an issue you need to discuss with your daughter. Believing you have something without knowing the diagnostic criterion is her responsibility, not the writers of this blog.

June, 2 2021 at 12:55 am

uhmm can you force an alter to switch or front because you want it? like for no particular reason? it's for my story. thank you!

June, 29 2021 at 9:17 pm

I think if you're able to communicate with that alter then you could ask them to front, but if they don't want to it'd be best not to force it.

November, 19 2021 at 6:04 am

Is it generally possible? Yes. Is it wise? That is a very big no. My wife is a multiple, and I have build a very close relationship with our sisters (all parts are female). Yes, I can ask them to front, and if I do, they would most likely come. However I do not even though they have all personally given me permission to do so. Even when not fronting, they're usually listening or will hear me when I speak to whoever is fronting at that moment. And most of the time they will answer through the person who is fronting. There is very good internal communication. Switching can be very draining energy wise, and there really is no reason to make someone come to the front for no reason. But think about this, would like to be forced to do something you don't want? Most of us have a doorbell at the front door, ever felt like not answering the door? Now imagine whoever is in front of that door had the power to force you to answer the door. Does that feel good? Just remember what doesn't feel good for you, most likely doesn't feel good for someone else either. So though it is possible depending on your relationship to the headsister or brother. Just don't do it.

ρꪮꪮ𝕜ⅈꫀ ρꪮꪮ
May, 24 2022 at 11:07 pm

Not completely. When I (we) switch or force it, it's more because I'm in fear or stressing out too much. Sometimes switches happen when the person who is currently fronting goes into "little space" or "childish personality". That will then trigger either a protector, caregiver, or both to "front" (most common for me). It's different for everyone, but forcing a switch can also lead to a terrible headache.

May, 11 2021 at 12:36 am

I'm newly diagnosed 🥺 just becoming aware of how many I have and how many people hid it from me,I'm 40 and just realised it ruined most of my life,I hope to work with this now I know.

Dani French
December, 8 2020 at 11:53 pm

So i was recently diagnosed with DID but i don't know really anything about my alters is there anyway i can get to know them

September, 17 2022 at 11:39 am

Dani, I recommend you journal - each day or like me several times a day. they may communicate thru you that way at first until trust is gained. also some parts of me only co pilot other parts I have not names for they just have a kind of feel to them. so yea. I recommend journaling. Also any thing that you find interests in like hobbies or intense likes - usually points the way to the alters for me. I have a distinct separateness to my likes and hobbies. so that is what it is like for me. I hope this helped

Phillip Moreno (Phizzle)
November, 25 2020 at 2:37 pm

My wife was unfaithful after 16 years of being together I found out she was doing whatever from pictures and to everything in between,it only lasted a month but it caused me to split my emotions into alternate personalitys where one was always crying anywhere I was at(embarrassing),one was a jerk and was getting me in dangerous trouble,and another seemed to be a moment of myself in highschool,and me who seemed to be low self-esteem when I used to be happy.
In between certain times I would be sitting at my place when I would get a vision on my wife and her lover and the next thing I knew I was at the store with my wife saying I was acting childishly and crying the whole time,but I thought I fell asleep,then another time I was eating dinner and I looked at my wife and felt heartache then it happened again when I came to and we where walking down the street arguing and she said that I was being a big her and being mean!
Then I found out about (DID) and it explained alot of how I was feeling,my wife said when crying I sounded like a little boy she never heard me talk like that out of the 16 years we've been together,and when I was being mean she said I had a stronger dominant tone(that she also mentioned sounded attractive) but was intimidating.
So I was wondering (besides following me around on camera) is there anyway to be conscious or aware of what's happening when a switch is triggered?
I was diagnosed with depression and bipolar and social anxiety when I was a teenager but had thought I stabled out in my early twenties when I met my wife but am beginning to feel as if I was an alter ego all these years that was fronted because he was able to handle everyday life,and lost control of switching when the trauma of my wife cheated on me.
Is that even a possibility?
I don't have much recollection of when I was younger but little faint dream like memories but I figured it was so long ago and don't remember much before meeting my wife.
Or does this all sound pretty crazy?

June, 18 2021 at 5:21 pm

If it is DID, it did not come about when your wife cheated on you. As you suggest it was there prior, and maybe the stability of the relationship kept you together.
DID typically happens to a child under extreme duress (pain or trauma) under the age of 9, most likely younger eg under 6 or 7. After that it is not possible for the psyche to fragment. An older child who experiences extreme pain or trauma will have a different (non-DID) response, eg PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, suicidality etc. You may have all of the above, but the DID would have started very young.
Different folk have more or less memory of childhood, but it sounds like you remember almost nothing. It is not because it was long ago. Most folk remember key events at least - a fun birthday party, the day their grandma died, being in a school play, a vacation, certain friends or teachers, being yelled at by a parent, getting into a fight with a sibling, eating watermelon on a sunny day... our memory is normally retained of certain good & bad memories and other random memories in between. Some people have really good memories with lots of detail, but that's the other extreme! So having almost no memories is consistent with your memories being fractured and archived in different 'personalities for your own self protection.
This is a great website for learning more. You posted a while ago, I hope you found some information here and assistance in your world!

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