How I'm Learning to Cool Down My Hot Head

August 7, 2019 Megan Rahm

I frequently struggle with my hot head, my anger, which feels a little embarrassing to admit. I'm a very anxious person -- something I address in a lot of my articles -- and my anxiety often manifests as anger. I try not to make my anger visible when I'm around others, but it's an all-consuming emotion that's hard to hide. I'm angry about wasting time and energy being so hotheaded, so I am searching for ways to ease my mind.

I'm a Hothead Because of Stress, Anxiety, and My Personality

The stress and anxiety surrounding my job have felt unbearable at times, and I've experienced a lot of anger because of it in the past several months. I've called off work and avoided people. Being a hothead eventually interfered with other areas of my life, too.

The fact that I'm not a "people person" is another important piece to this puzzle. I'm easily annoyed and being around people can make me really nervous. It's very easy for me to slip into an angry mood and be unpleasant around others.

I also find myself angry because I am frequently offended. I have very different views and beliefs than many of the people around me. I'm not always very open about it so people don't even know what not to say. It's hard not to feel sensitive and marginalized.

My Hot Head and My Family

I feel guilty because my family gets the brunt of my anger. I don't get physical or yell, but I sure know how to make an environment tense with my tone and negativity. I feel bad every time but that doesn't stop it from happening again.

3 Ways I Cope with Anger

  1. Taking a break -- Sometimes I just need a break. Anger is an exhausting emotion. I usually feel pretty bad about calling off of work, but it's actually a good thing. Sometimes I just need the quiet and rest to calm down and refocus my energy.
  2. Meditation -- I know. I always write about my mala beads, but they really have made a difference for me. I've always had trouble finding ways to cope with my mental illness symptoms other than medication, but that stress I feel as a working mom made it crucial for me to find ways to calm down. Mala beads are simple. It's a string of 108 beads. You just recite or chant a mantra or affirmation as you touch each bead. I wrap my beads around my wrist and wear them as a bracelet every day. Then they're always on me if I need them. Many people see mala beads as prayer beads, but they don't have to be. I am not a spiritual person so I simply use them for meditation. I find them very calming. They help me redirect my thoughts, which has always been a difficult task for me.
  3. Crying -- If the anger gets too overwhelming I cry. I hate it when it comes to that, but it's actually an amazing release. My mind always cools down after.

I hate my anger. I don't want to upset my family or the people around me. I am aware of my anger now more than ever and I'm working to better understand it. I am grateful for the coping skills I have and will always be on the lookout for more.

Are you a hothead? How do you cope with anger? Please let me know in the comments.

Tags: hot head

APA Reference
Rahm, M. (2019, August 7). How I'm Learning to Cool Down My Hot Head, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 21 from

Author: Megan Rahm

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