Breaking Bipolar

I’m stuck in a bipolar depression and yet, I’m trying to exercise. I’ve never been successful at this – ever.  Now and then I have been on exercise programs, but I’ve hated every one and none of them have stuck. Not to mention the fact that getting my depressed butt out of the house to do anything is almost impossible. I have no energy and everything hurts all the time. Bipolar depression makes exercising almost impossible – but I’m hoping the truth is that it’s just “almost” impossible.
Fear and pain are realities of life, but we can’t let fear and pain make our decisions for us. As soon as we do, they will be the masters of our fates. But we all need to be the masters of our own destiny. In short, we need to stand up to fear and pain and make our own decisions, even though it can be very hard.
I’ve written before how critical sleep is to those with bipolar disorder but just how sensitive is bipolar disorder to sleep changes and what can you do about bipolar’s sensitivity to sleep changes? It’s important to know what happens with your bipolar disorder when your sleep patterns change, even a little. That sensitivity can make all the difference to your day and what coping skills you choose to employ. But how big a change in your sleep does it take to affect your bipolar disorder? How do you deal with sleep changes with your bipolar disorder if you detect them?
I consider bipolar disorder to by my main enemy most of the time and I’m trying to win against my bipolar disorder. But the word “try” sucks. I hate the word “try.” Yes, I’m “trying” to win against my bipolar disorder but all this “trying” is exhausting and full of failure.
Functioning and bipolar disorder is a constant struggle. I know this is true not just for me, but for so many with serious mental illness. And part of the oddity of my functioning with bipolar disorder is that if I stop functioning, being productive, I just won’t start again.
Because of my bipolar disorder, I fake happiness – a lot – like, all the time; like, every time I leave the house. This is due to several factors but, obviously, one of the primary ones is that I, typically, am not actually happy. I am, typically, depressed. And people don’t like that. People don’t like constantly-depressed people. So my bipolar disorder forces me to fake happiness.
People like to criticize me about my bipolar disorder treatment and my guess is, many of you have experienced criticism about your bipolar disorder treatment, too. Sometimes people feel like their criticisms are helpful and sometimes, I swear, the people do it just to be dogmatic or cruel. No matter what their motivation is, though, it isn’t helpful and can be very harmful. If you get criticism about your bipolar disorder treatment, here’s how to handle it.
There are nasty effects on bipolar when I suffer from a lack of sleep. Luckily for me, I usually do have a decent sleep thanks to my medications but, sometimes, my body just decides to wake up at 3:00 a.m. and refuses to go back to sleep. I know this happens to many people but I also know that most people don’t have bipolar disorder. And I know that, for me, if I have a lack of sleep it really affects my bipolar disorder negatively.
People often say to those suffering with bipolar disorder, “Others have it worse than you.” This is not a helpful statement. We know that others have it worse than us. In fact, others with bipolar have it worse than us; that’s just math. But the fact that others have it worse than us is absolutely irrelevant to our suffering with bipolar.
I am suffering through a long bout of bipolar medication side effects. Side effects, withdrawal effects, call them what you like, they are caused by the use of medication. And I am white-knuckling it. I know that, in my case, there are no options better than this very sucky one. But I tell you, I hate suffering through bipolar medication side effects.