What Is It Really Like to Stay in A Mental Hospital?
I was diagnosed with bipolar about 16 years ago and it took years for me to find an effective treatment. At the time, I was very suicidal but I wouldn’t go to a hospital. I said, and I really meant, “I would rather die than go to one of those places.” But, much to my surprise, a few years later, when I was again very suicidal, I checked myself into one of those places. I stayed in a mental hospital.
What Are Mental Hospitals Like?
Mental hospitals, or psychiatric wards (which is, technically, where I was), are all different. Some offer the basic service of keeping you alive while others offer all types of therapies and treatment. Some are really designed for shorter term stays, like three days, while others are more able to handle longer stays such as those of a few months. It really does vary. And I would say that the quality of care available at different mental hospitals vary as well.
What Was My Stay at a Mental Hospital Like?
I admitted myself to the mental hospital after tearfully explaining to too many professionals in the emergency department that I was acutely suicidal. Doctors, of course, made the ultimate decision to admit me. Once there, they went through the few things I had brought with me, confiscated my medication (except the birth control pill) and showed me to a bed (it was late by the time I got there – hours in the emergency room to blame).
Not surprisingly, I was in pretty bad shape so every little thing seemed like an ordeal. I brought, quite intelligently, my own tissues and used far too many of them (those given out in the hospital are scratchy and unpleasant if you’re going to cry your way through the days).
The next day a general doctor came by to assess my overall health. Basic blood tests were run, my blood pressure was checked, that sort of thing. And then my psychiatrist (who worked at the hospital) came by. He promptly changed my medications drastically. Not surprising considering how badly I was doing but rapid medication changes are highly unpleasant under any circumstances. It seems to me, though, that this type of treatment is more common in the mental hospital as doctors know that any side effects that come up will be medical supervised and while unpleasant, are likely not dangerous.
The next morning I woke up to a nurse shaking me awake and yelling at me to come and have breakfast in the common room. I said to the nurse, “I can’t see.”
However, she didn’t hear me, she didn’t believe me or she didn’t care because the last thing I remember was her leaving my room yelling at me to go have breakfast.
At that point I realized something. I realized that if I looked straight down, I could see my toes. I didn’t know why I could only see my toes, but somehow, that day, I made it to the common room and ate breakfast, only looking at my toes.
What had happened, of course, was side effect. For me, the medication was so strong I couldn’t wake, and when I was forcibly awoken, I remained so stoned that my eyelids, physically, wouldn’t open. This gave me the impression of blindness but, really, it’s just that I could only life my eyelids a tiny amount and thus could only see my feet.
I saw my psychiatrist again that day and explained what had happened. While I was rather disturbed by the experience he didn’t seem concerned in the least. I can’t remember if we adjusted things at that point or if the side effect wore off on its own. I saw him most days and we tweaked things regularly.
I was then introduced to group therapy – an every morning event – and art therapy --- every other day. And that was it for the therapies offered. It was pretty lackluster.
What It Was Like for Me to Stay in the Mental Hospital
In my case, as I was in a non-locked ward and I had signed myself in, I could sign myself out for short periods of time too so while I was “in” the mental hospital, I actually spent a lot of time in the park next door.
I will say that while I was there, they mixed up medications twice – I have no idea why. Maybe a doctor who writes too fast, maybe too many changes at once, who knows. But the nurses never took kindly to being told that.
I will also say that I thought the nurses were mostly crap. While I’m sure it varies all over, my experiences with them were mostly negative. When I went to speak to them at the desk, they would literally ignore my presence and go on about their conversations as if I wasn’t there. And I, being extremely sick, was in no position to assert myself. It’s like they thought they should ignore me because I was “crazy.”
I was also allowed to use the phone (one per floor) when I wanted – not that I really wanted to talk to anyone.
I had visitors and I don’t remember there being any set hours for their visiting. Someone dropped off books and another took me home so I could shower there instead of at the hospital.
All in all, it was really unpleasant. But then, I was so depressed and so suicidal, I can’t imagine anything being anything but unpleasant.
I cried my way through two weeks there until I and my doctor thought I was okay to go home. When I admitted myself I never thought I would stay that long. I thought they would keep me from killing myself for a couple of days and that would be it. But, instead, my doctor did want to see an improvement of some sort before I left.
In my next article I’ll sum up what I learned in the mental hospital and whether I think others should go to mental hospitals.
You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or Google+ or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter or at Bipolar Burble, her blog.
Tracy, N. (2015, January 20). What Is It Really Like to Stay in A Mental Hospital?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, March 22 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2015/01/what-is-it-really-like-to-stay-mental-hospital
Author: Natasha Tracy
I need help finding hospitals for mental issues and bipolar and manic episodes for my son!
If you need to find mental health resources, please see our page that lists hotlines and resources to contact someone who may be able to help: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
- Natasha Tracy
Hi, i'm really sorry to hear that. Have you tried looking online for things that can help him? I don't really know a lot about this but I really hope that your son gets better soon and that you and your family are doing well.
My son he is mental ill he's vailent to wards us some times he forgot his siblings all im asking for is help please
And yeah they were so careless so they took me to the emergency room three times in one week. Also the doctor put me under line of sight so I was super angry because I couldn't even keep my hands under the blanket so I jumped of my bed and I punched the wall so I broke my hand after losing my temper. Then didn't allow me to shut the door when I shower, or have spoon of fork, I had to ea lt finger food. Also, after being treated so bad, I was eo stupid then I decided on stopping eating and I started to feel paranoid and fainted so they took me to the hospital and restrained me and forced my to have tons of IV bags. I was really angry at that time because I told them do not help me but the ER doctor didn't change his mind because I had severe symptoms. Also they locked me in the QR without seeing anyone, or having no visitors. They also told me that I was a good actress because I was so mad because of them. I had to respect!
I'm really sorry to hear about your traumas inside the ward.
Myself; I'm an international student who lives in the states. I started to have depression after coming here, and I tried to kill myself 12 times last year, and they kept me last year in eight different places. Some of them were helping and great and some were really scary because I was abused by the patients and I told the nurses but no one offered help. Actually, some of the hospitals I've been in have the worst safety system because I tried to hurt ans poison myself even inside the ward. And in the other places I was passing out because of the medications and I was losing my temper so I was forced to be restrained and injected every six hours. I was not able to do anything because I was not aware of what have gone around. The doctors threatened me to send me to state hospitals or kick me out of school, and other doctors gave me the wrong meds. Till now I feel really suicidal though I've been in the best wars in the states but none of those helped a lot. They work for short periods then everything starts over! But some of those hospitals were great and the doctors always put me in by force or be taken by the police :/ I have such a horrible life
I have to agree it does suck to be in a menta ward but the the worst one ive been commited in is a veterans hospital there Id been placed and I really didn't want to be though Id see my doctor for two-three minutes a day and was sent home after three days hopefully to be considered well enough to not want to go out and kill several people and myself too that's a joke too that the VA is considered so well too their a joke in real life.
A mental hospital must suck.
Wow. Thank you for sharing this. I have been researching mental hospitals out of mere curiosity, and almost every former patient story has had at least 2 negative comments about how uncomfortable they were or how badly the nurses treated them. One of my friends ended up going to a mental hospital for about a month for attempting suicide, attempting rape, being involved in drugs, alcohol, and smoking. I was wondering what it was like there, and this really provided a viewpoint that put my feelings into prospective.
Hello I'm reading all the articles about getting sent to psych wards and I would like to chim in my two cent opinion about psych wards.
In total, I have been going to psych wards since 15 years old a total of 13 times. Now I have to say I was always a depressed kid since I was a child, probably becaus I was picked on by everyone for being whiny by both cousins and kids my own age. Brothers and sisters too, for being a mamas boy, I never went out as a kid and was lazy, might be depression or just not properly raised idk... Also I was never a good friend to anyone, I always was selfish to say the least. Just a bratty kid. A lot of memories are hazy, all I remember was getting hurt all the time, I would hold in my poops, and I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night
Now... (I've been checking my psych for some time now, I'm 24 years old) I would remember my sister would go into the adolescent ward when I was growing up and her behavior was a bit crazy, this was in the nineties in pacoima California. I picked up on it I have to say, I'm a bit of the monkey see monkey do type.
In middle school I played drums, looked up to my brother, a little too much, and was very naive and gullible because I never went out with anyone, no one wanted to be my friend. I wasnt a good friend, I had no manners.
Now when I was in high school, at around 15 I hung out with some people that idk I call them friends because they came to my house although I don't think they ever liked me (looking back, I think they were trying to get me hooked on meth or drugs or whatever) and at the time I wanted to smoke pot. ever since sixth grade. I would go looking for it like an idiot. So at fifteen I finally got a chance to smoke weed, and goddamn was I traumatized but liked it since it was what I was looking for, a few days later I went back to get more, not so much hang out with them, if they were trying to actually be friends, then I started going like every weekend it was fun, I watched movies constantly in those days so it went hand in hand with tripping on life and movies. I became addicted and started getting depressed or something, I was warned by my sister that it could have been laced, but I was gullible and didn't people did such a thing, I thought I was just depressed, and to be honest I was, especially after seeing the movie waking life.... Na even before that. I don't know to this day. I started getting eratic and did stupid shit for it, I stole,I fcking stole for it because I had thus dream like nihilist mentality. To this day, I don't know if it was laced or not although many people tild me that it was. All the while, I would go to my brother for counseling because i was fuxking sad all the time, it was annoying to him I bet... Anyway I started going to counseling at the time, I don't know if it started before or after I got sent to a rehab. I was ready to stay there, and to be honest I didn't I needed to be there since it was only for weed, although they told me it could have been laced idk... I awoled after a week. Decided to go hang out with friends and come back.... That was my plan
This is where my psych history begins. When I came back, keep in mind I had this nihilistic suicidal mentality at the time because I looked at my past and had this dreamer like mentality that I developed, they had me write two pages front and back about what I did and why I did it. I used to write a lot, I still do as you can see. I wrote it quickly. Then my family came. I was sad at the time. Which is why I left plus I felt I didn't belong there since most of the people there were there my law and I was a walk in. Plus it was just weed.
My family came and spoke with the coordinator of the rehab. They decided to bring a psych evaluator who spoke to me, i spoke freely about suicide and nihilism, and in the psych ward I went for the first time. I didn't know anything of how it worked. When I went in, they told me to take medication. He threatened me and forced me and injected me with something he did not even tell me. What it was.
I remember crying to my parents about it over the phone,i didnt get how it all worked. They brought me clothes and they even let me bring in some DVDssince that is what brought me comfort all the time. I was there two weeks and to be honest it wasa good experience. I felt I needed it. And I was treated very well, even my uncles and aunts came and visited me.... Damn. I just remember that... I got out and continued Outpatient therapy.... I'll continue this in the next chapter, which is where I started to get my downfall downward spiral to the position I am right now where my family doesn't want me, I might have kids I don't know about, an alcoholic drug addict, and either get sent to jail or dead. It really is quite a story.
I searched for this and there you all are the voices of person's who have undergone that experience. My sister talked me into one as I was going to move back to Wyoming and they, family, thought I was going there to committ suicide and would be alone with no one to bother me or stop my self destruction. What I will say is that i was having a damn fine time living out there far away just wanted to come back to family roots, take a breather. They in turn convinced me I was Krazy and Suicidal, one night (they set me up to come over for dinner). Now, I believe am Krazed and my brain is not functioning well and no words actions I do should be trusted. I no longer trust myself. First 2 nights in a lockdown unit as no rooms available in the unit I was to go to. Ahhh lawdy that's a story unto itself those two nights there. Scared to death and didn't know if I could get out or not. To scared to ask mean nurses about leaving as might piss them off. I saw a gal going off at the Nurse's station, yelling cussing. The nurse looked her square in the eyes and said, "Do you want ECT therapy again. It looks like you do by how you are behaving." I asked one of the other patients, "is this true they do ECT here." Yes if you sign the paper for it, she said. My hair stuck straight up chills up and down my back,did I sign that paper when admitted in that whole flurry of confusion.
Geez you can believe I squared up fast and would do what they wanted, how and when they wanted it done. Shut my mouth, head down, and did the med shuffle for 2 days until transferred, scared to ask if I could leave as that might cause the nurse to be aggravated and onto ECT room I would go strapped to the bed. I still remember how helpless and fearful I was that they would give me electric shock and really change my brain. So did all that was asked and got out in 9 days. How does one not believe in their insanity afterwards or return to society and work. Haven't yet has been 2 years since that happened. Not to give me words of further treatment, I have had plenty of therapies since then, ever changing multiple diagnosis, meds and YES! I will find my way out. I was a working RN and 57 years old when this happened. Days of being a free spirit flew out the window on that 3rd floor lockdown unit.
I wrote to much. I thank you for letting me vent here where the questions are asked about such experiences. God Bless you are here and asking questions.
I've worked as a psych tech in a state mental hospital for 4 years. I was also a patient in a acute private hospital psych ward for three weeks. So i know both sides.. It can be a difficult job, also rewarding for the most part. Being punched, spit on. [moderated] on, (litterally) is the downfall. Alot of the staff are burnt out. That's why they treat patients [badly]. It's alot easier to come to work and maintain the basics of the job. Rather than to be a good staff member and actually do your job 100%, or at least try anyways. Being understaffed is the biggest downfall. It's a difficult job, most of these people downing on the staff in the comment thread couldn't walk 1 week in staff shoes lol.
Plus on top of disrespect, they never stayed on top of my medication. I was supposed to have it twice a day and instead I'd get it once a day or skipped days or none at all. These people don't care about mental health they're just in it for the money. Also NEVER GET ADMITTED WITH ANYTHING VALUABLE!!!! It will come up missing and never found I can promise that. I had four earrings I had to take out for the nurse and what does she do? She puts a paper towel on the counter, puts my earrings in the center of it, crumples the paper towel up like a piece of paper and walks out. I never saw my earrings again.
This crap has always went on at any of the mental health hospitals iv ever experienced. The nurses are rude and there is a BIG lack of respect. They think ur not important because your one of the "crazies". I went to one when I was 14 and there is always lack of respect from the staff but it's worse when your underage. the staff is stricter and you receive less respect than an adult in a mental health hospital would. I know this because I visited my mother in two separate mental health hospitals and they are less strict on the adults and have some respect for them. BUT adults in mental health hospitals ARE still mistreated. They get somewhat more respect, but it still isn't right how anyone is treated in those places. I was more depressed in there then when I was outside.
Went to one voluntarily for depression and was put in lock down. Left after the second day. It was the most horrifying experience ever. I left more depressed than when I came in. I felt as an adult on time out and was being punished. And this was at an upscale hospital. Shame on them.
I have never been to a mental health facility or hospitalized. But I do get outpatient services for mild bipolar illness, PTSD, Social Anxiety, and ADHD. I'm on Vistaril 25 mg. And Ritalin 10 mg. 2x daily. After hearing the poor and horrible treatment that to people in mental hospitals is not only a disgrace but surely disgraceful to those who practice the healthcare profression. I will be going in a place like that especially when some of the most dangerous phychoic murders or killers happened to be. Not all mental illnesses are equally the same or effected nor anyone who has them is alike: Everyone is different and should be treated individually. Not the same as everyone with same diagnosis. I would encourage anyone who wants help to get outpatient treatment services than to get admitted to impatient services. If no one is threat to society than there is no need to be hospitalized. Unless you need a short evaluation of less than 2 weeks to update a mental health or second opinion then it would be different.
I can't take medications, so I find these places intolerable. There is no such thing as voluntary really once those doors close behind you. I don't want to discourage others from going if they feel they need assistance, by all means, but for me and especially in my state, inpatient hospitals have traumatized me. When the article made the statement that some people would rather die then go to one of these, I would be one of those people. The whole system is broken and unfortunately, inpatient stays for some people lead to death. Statistics show that the week after people leave inpatient hospitals, they are at a staggering high risk for suicide.
How much was it to stay there?
i have always wanted to see one.i have but i want to see the inside of one
That's just rude Caratucker. you have a morbid curiosity. They are merely hospitals with ALL physical dangerous possibilities removed.
Hospitalization of psychiatric patient is yet component part of its current psychiatric treatment, whereby we achieve to prevent fatal outcomes of respective mental illness. The same is value for mood disorders as periodic fluctuations of affection. Indeed, in clinical psychiatry exist guidelines for hospitalization of each mental disorder, but the implementation of these clinical and therapeutic protocols often is hinder up by numerous objective and subjective reasons. By last ones psychiatric guidelines each statement of psychiatric patient when its and others life is at stake, is indication of prompt indication for hospitalization. In real life there are many legal and socio-cultural problems that render more difficult this psychiatric protocol. However, hospitalization of mentally ill patient indicates unavoidable treatment and management of patient with serious psychiatric entities, particularly in their acute and florid phase. It is welknown fact that extra-hospital treatment is current tendency for up to date psychiatry, because its permit efficient rehabilitation an resocialization of mentally ill person. It mean shorterm inward treatment of hospitalization is preferable way to successful treatment of mentally ill patient. Otherwise, longstanding inward treatment of psychiatric patients leads to their hospitalismus, as second complication, more difficult mental statement than primary one. In a word. psychiatric treatment should be complex approach, where multiaxial biopschychosocial intervention indicates satisfactory methodology.
I've been hospitalized 11 times. I have a co-morbid anxiety disorder. Now found a treatment therapy for it that worked... whew... finally. Each time was worse than the last. I tried hospital after hospital and none would help. I have bipolar 1 and found none of these hospitals helpful. I just didn't know how to deal with my illness, went there for help and they didn't help.... Found a good psychiatrist and therapist and out patient for me 100% all the way.
The psychiatric hospital i go to i most definitely love. I think that i actually start ro hurt myself so i can go back in
Wow I feel bad after seeing other people's experiences. I guess I have been lucky where I live the psych units really do help and are actually pretty nice. The staff is also very kind. There is only one pdoc that is a complete jerk at the one, but everyone else was great. I got a lot of help. Don't stop yourself from going based on another person's experience.
Thank you all for sharing. As I have schizoid personality disorder it would probably be a nightmare for me, I am just imagining being in such a place and I can't stand even thinking about it.
I would never go near a mental institution.
Thank you for sparing me another horrible experience.
Well, I read through enough experiences here to dissuade me from going to one. I was really on the verge: crippling anxiety and depression in a family business environment with a borderline insane dad/boss. I sit at my desk with my head in my hands all day. I've basically lost it, but I'm not about to take a risk on a facility that might not help, and it sounds like it's a crap shoot.
I guess I'll continue my books by David Reynolds and Gregg Krech on Morita therapy and Naikan therapy, which are totally different from Western therapy that's completely failed me over the years. I wish I could visit a Morita or Naikan facility; their approaches are completely different than Western therapies with high degrees of success. Unfortunately, I don't speak Japanese, otherwise I'd be on a plane over there tomorrow. It's worth reading about about those therapies, though. As I've said, Western therapy has failed me, and I feel like these have some promise. I'm glad I didn't step into a nightmare hospital situation.
This sounds terrible. I wish I had some encouraging words for those who are looking here. That seeking treatment is the right answer for you. Despite my issues I've avoided being checked in. Though it has been close and at times I thought of going in myself. I like to know things so I've been looking for a good place to go if I felt I had to find a facility. If you are still reading and still seeking help please do. If you can make a decision try to make a good one for you.
I've worked in a maximum mental health facility for 17 years and I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. The Staff are nasty and cold, the place stinks, the therapy is non existent and injuries from violence happen daily. The place has done a number on me over the years. These places can be horrible for both sides.
I hate art therapy!!! Not a creative bone in my body. But, three cooked meals a day, with snacks! At least I ate good!!
I'm so sorry to hear of so many terrifying and traumatizing experiences at the hands of the very people from whom you all sought support. I was blessed, my two separate eight week stints in a mental health hospital literally changed my life. Although I was admitted with mood disorders, I was also diagnosed with PTSD when in hospital. I was a prisoner in my own home for the first 17 years of life. I was terrorized by my sociopathic father and consequently learned to cope by turning my emotions off completely. They remained turned off or at the very least inappropriate for the next 40 years of my life. Being an inpatient taught me why I behaved the way I did, taught me how my self esteem was barely intact, taught me I was a worthy individual and I've been living a constantly improving life ever since my discharge almost two years ago. I now have the tools to cope and manage an illness I will have for the rest of my life. The staff in the hospital were amazing, compassionate, and knowledgeable, and if I have to return there in the future, I know it will be beneficial. I have friends who have been treated with disdain and ignorance by alleged health care professionals, but it would be a tragedy if even one individual were to refuse admission based on negative experiences of others because there are places where you can get exactly what you need.!it was a lot of very hard work but it was worth it.
I found great interest both in Natasha Tracy's original article and in the comments upon it from others.
Nothing spectacularly horrible has ever happened to me when I have been a psych patient here in Australia (private hospitals for the most part). I have been admitted several dozen times, unfortunately, but always with my own consent: for the simple reason that however badly I might function as a patient, trying to function outside the hospital environment had become virtually impossible.
In my case, there has been no bipolar / manic element. Nor has there been a psychotic factor or an alcohol / drug factor. It has always been a matter of intense depression, with very severe social anxiety.
Overall I have found the nurses at those hospitals to be fundamentally conscientious, hard-working people. I did not experience the kind of treatment which Natasha Tracy mentions ("When I went to speak to them at the desk, they would literally ignore my presence and go on about their conversations as if I wasn’t there").
If there were any problems which I witnessed they involved certain psychiatrists rather than nurses. One psychiatrist, whom I obviously must not name, has a widespread reputation (readily confirmed by Google) for forcibly administering vast quantities of medication far in excess of what patients need. Nevertheless, I was simply able to avoid that particular practitioner, and I had no problems with the psychiatrist who had been assigned to me, who seemed decent.
While I hope that I will never need to be re-admitted, I know that there is a better-than-even-money chance that re-admission will have to take place in my future at some stage. I am 53 years old, single, and plagued with crushing despair as well as social anxiety for as long as I can recollect.
I grew up in foster care from age 6 to 18. i am now 33 i have been in so many hospital's and residential's. I dont really think any of them helped me as much as they stressed me out so much. The abuse in them places are so horroriable. Also being in the system all you were was a liar. I know that i never wanted to be in those places. to this day i have a lot of mental health issues which i believe is due in return of the system. Now my 10 year old son has a lot of mental health issues. I am not rich at all so again here we go with state aid. He has been in two different hospitals 5 times in 4 years. I know deep down he needs help but i also know how they are at those places and i feel like i am failing my son when he gets sent to these places
Thank you for your courage to share your journey. I admire you courage to share and educate others. Many Blessings to you!
Back in the 90's I had two very pleasant experiences in two different in-patient mental health facilities. Getting stabilized on meds in the hospital made me feel "safe" because I've always hated changing meds, not knowing what these mind-bending drugs would do to me. Insurance was different in those days - stays were longer, the stay was aimed at helping us learn and practice good coping mechanisms. Days in-patient were filled with group therapy, arts/crafts, a trip to the gym, and great food. Staff was great. I felt safe and comfortable - relieved to be away from work, family and friends. I felt like I was on vacation, while at the same time, doing some hard work in my head. Upon discharge, out-patient was scheduled, which was very good as well. I came away each time feeling like I could tackle anything. The world was beautiful once again.
I had one stay a few years ago in the county hospital - no insurance after a job layoff. Waited 3 days in the "psych ward waiting room" on the 10th floor of the hospital, and this was a very eye-opening experience. Living in an uncomfortable straight back chair or recliner for 3 days while waiting on a bed was not a pleasant experience. Nor was it pleasant having to dodge the psychotic folks that seemed to be the majority of people there. I was scared to death I would die in this ward at the hands of one of those patients. When finally placed on my unit, it was no better. Utter chaos. I was one step above the people with psychosis in the unit next to mine. Screaming, crying, singing, you name it heard through the walls days in / day out. We did get good food, snacks and soft drinks at night. I must say, the staff was better than expected in this county hospital. So caring, approachable, good listeners, attentive to our needs.
Yes, there are rules we don't like. The rules are in place for a reason. The rules are meant to keep us safe while in-patient, as well as respect others that may not be on the same plane we're at. We are to be safe - protected from ourselves and from others.
I have been admitted twice dealing one with my bipolar disorder n depression I became suicidal due to unforeseen circumstances but both instances I was headed to the same hospital ward and undoubtedly had an experience that was profound emphasis on the most of the nursing staff was extremely polite and some even went out of their way for the patience but the doctors I worked with were outstanding.I guess after reading some of the other comments I am grateful I was in a region that wonderful mental health facility
For me the worst part of being involuntarily committed to a psych ward was that I basically had no rights. It felt like a jail sentence. The doctor had ALL the power and I had no choice but to comply with whatever treatment was offered. I was terrified. Although I understand why, it was also a little creepy being watched all the time on surveillance cameras. There was no privacy. There was also a camera in the one and only shower (with NO) curtains. If only staff had been a little bit more compassionate and/or understanding that would've helped alot. I didn't feel safe and I was also deeply ashamed. I actually felt worse when I got out of the hospital not better. I started stockpiling pills, going to different stores as not to raise suspicion. I told myself I was NEVER going back to hospital again. Eventually though I did decide to get help, on my own. I took the initiative and found some help at a community mental health clinic where I was lucky enough to be paired with a kind caring pdoc who actually listened and wasn't just interested in prescribing medication!
In 1984 my husband got very psychotic after his btother passed away, after 2 weeks of no sleep,not eating, i took him to the hospital,i had lost my husband to thinking he was Gods disciple,and i was satan to him, they diagnosed him with manic depressive, and on alot of hard anti pyschotics,and lithium, he was out of it ,i brought him home with no one idea what to expect, so as time went on he increasingly worse,they said, they "dane co.mental health,to put him away he would never get better...i was mad,i went to the library to research, its now 2 years of starting me on fire,trying to preform an excersism on me,not sleeping,not eating,lithium toxic,so i found a new diagnosis that fit,dane co.mental heath i fired them,i found a dr. Who 100% agreed with me, i was right it was schizo-affective disorder and to put him on tegretol,and just like the movie awakenings,my chris came back，and has been stable most of our marriage,he doesnt remember those 2 yrs of pyschosis , just dont give up,and see a real pyschiatrist, be well Maria
No firsthand experience as a patient to share, but I hope I can add some secondhand perspective from a multitude of patients and facilities.
While the range of (for lack of a better word) 'quality' varies widely, it seems that the vast majority are generally clustered towards the bad end of the spectrum that you described. That is in terms of staff that are competent and treat you with respect, helpful programming, reasonable access to appropriate individual care, etc. I wish it were different, but there's something about nursing jobs, and nursing jobs in psych in particular, that can really turn people into jaded assholes.
It's worth differentiating between psych wards generally dealing with acute admissions like you're talking about, and the typically more specialized ones that offer inpatient interventions to treat severe chronic conditions, but not necessarily urgent ones. And yes, the latter are a dying breed (in public funded hospitals anyway), which is part of the reason that the acute units can be a revolving door for some people.
Your observation about rapid med changes is a good one. Inpatient treatment gives you the opportunity to make such drastic changes that would take a very long time (and there may not be that time, if you're decompensating) as an outpatient. It's not only the physical side effects that they can watch for (though there's far less cooperation between psych and medical units than their should be) but also drastic mental status changes too, like markedly increased suicidality.
As usual, you're right that the main conclusion you can draw is that things vary a lot. Plus, you don't even necessarily know where you'll end up when you go to the ER. It really is a crap shoot, even though it shouldn't be. So even though more people have bad experiences than good ones, it's hard to generalize.
Except that if you're at the point where you're looking to get admitted for safety reasons (especially voluntarily) it's probably because you've run out of other options to keep yourself going, and it's worth a shot. Frankly, what isn't trial and error when it comes to mental health treatment?
Thank you, Danielle, for your comment. I am a therapist who works in an acute inpatient psych unit doing group therapy. First, I'm glad you mention that no one comes to work with the intent of harming the patients. Most of us have chosen to become health care providers because we have some sense of altruism. It takes a lot mentally and emotionally to be a care provider in this setting. At the hospital where I work, we try to use a therapeutic use of self to build rapport with the patients but it is difficult to do so because so many of our patients literally cannot hol a conversation. Which brings me to group therapy. I've done group therapy inpatient and outpatient, and I felt so much more effective in outpatient because people were actually able to engage. There are so many times when I end up choosing a craft to do with everybody in inpatient because I know those are the only directions the majority of attendees will follow. However, I would love to provide coping mechanisms invidualized to each person, so that your only option is not to stay in your room and cry. But it is so difficult to actually come to any such conclusion during conversations with patients. Because of meds or symptoms, people have a hard time telling me about their interests, their coping strategies, how they like to use their time.
Lastly, I definitely agree with many of you who say you were discharged too soon. I hate the feeling I get when I know I'm crossing my fingers hoping I wont see the patient in a week. But we are limited by law in many ways- we cannot keep people who do not want to stay voluntarily if they are not a harm to themselves or others, or who are not gravely disabled. That's why when my patients discharge, I highly stress outpatient follow-up to continue receiving care.
I am glad so many of you posted how you feel about inpatient though- it has been very eye opening and I feel like I understand better now where my patients are coming from. I will keep these comments in mind when planning exercise and activity group to make it better. I hope you will keep this notion in mind- and remember that some healthcare providers are trying to do the best they know how.
I was escorted by police to a NY state hospital because my mom had a restraining order against her husband who was beating her on a regular basis and he broke into her house, I on other hand suffer from extreme trama & have PTSD, SAD & ADHD from a very bad childhood & tryed to attack my mother's husband with a butcher knife. Understand I have watched my mother be thrown around & beaten my entire childhood not to mention the things that have happened to me. But the staff in general was fine I know it's not some kind of clubmed, but when you tell the psychiatric doctor not to touch you when he isn't doing any medical procedure & you tell them you have a thing about people touching you, he continues to do it. This is wrong way to approach someone who has issues with ppl touching them.. I was release after only being there 14 hours... Even though I was supposed to be there for 48 hours. Because they refused to let me make formal complaint, I stop being compliant. That was over 20 years ago. But I'm not really sure such a place can infact help someone like me, since they can't follow a simple rule. These places must in fact follow your rights as a patient who was complying with all that was asked of them. No charges were ever filed against me by police. So ya I won't ever go back. I later filed a complaint, but he was still working there, never a sorry nothing.
Altruistic? That just is not the same as caring, compassion, nor dedicated. As a human being, we're expected to be altruistic creatures... but not always doing it well.
Fields where people are weak, disadvantaged, unseen, and misunderstood also have a dark history of harboring staff who are supposed to CARE by definition and practice-- but ultimately, proudly state they DO NOT have the responsibility to make those under their "care" (yeah, that word again) comfortable; hence, they do not care about them.
Additionally, uncaring and unapathetic persons seek out such careers because human suffering does not affect them--because yes, they don't care. "Warm-body" staff who just exist to collect a check need to be run out of Health CARE, period. Too many join the field because who's going to fault their horrendous behaviors; their jobs are just too tough and they do jobs no one else wants to which they cannot state often enough. Jobs like health care, mental health care, special education, disadvantaged youth, people with behavioral challenges, convicts, etc. gives these sick people the opportunity to call themselves altruistic, heroes, etc. which is the furthest thing from the truth. In fact, they hide behind their patients' struggles, take advantage of the, and congratulate themselves for "putting up" with people who need to be pushed out the door, as was the statement by another blogger (Danielle), whom you thanked for her insight!! :-0
People, like you & Danielle, need to be excused from this field. It's whole unethical to make statements you are making! This begs the question, how do you really feel :-0 Wanting to push people out (not get them better--what ever it takes, and however long it takes) is WRONG. Intentionally misusing the term healthcare by cutting out the care part is WRONG. And most of all, blaming people for their problems and and accusing them of things no one knows, is definitely WRONG. Both of you, and like-minded people need to stop faking it--or take a few semesters learning about social justice, social problems, IDEA, ADA, human & ethical treatment of those in need care, etc. to which you apparently have no concept.
I have a few thoughts on this. I am a pediatric psych nurse and have also been a psych patient many times in residential, inpatient, outpatient and day treatment settings. I have been on both sides.
- Most psych units are not like a hotel. The furniture, environment, etc. are designed to maintain safety for every patient.
- rules and restrictions are in place for a reason. If you are not allowed to have a certain item, it isn't necessarily that staff things you will use it to harm self or others, but that someone has in the past and it cannot be present on the unit because of that risk.
- the staff is not the enemy. We are trying to help the best we can with the resources we have. We do not come to work each day thinking "hmm, how can I make the patients miserable today?".
- Most inpatient units are for crisis stabilization- that typically means keeping people physically safe, adjusting medications, maybe some light groups. It is not for individual therapy, for figuring out all your problems. After you are stabilized, outpatient therapy needs to be continued (or started) to work on core issues.
- psych units are not meant to be a cozy, comfortable place to kick back and watch tv. There are many people who find the psych unit "safe" and use it to escape outside life and reality.
- psych units are typically not diagnosis-specific, unless it's a large psychiatric institution that has specialized programs. Units may be separated by age (adult and geriatric), but that is typically the extent. I understand that it can be upsetting to hear someone scream or talk to things that no one else can see, but every patient is in the hospital for an acute mental health crisis. Please do not judge!
*This is garbage. If you actually READ many of the comments anyone could see the retaliatory incidences from staff.
*Unbelievable, erroneous, and very close-minded of you to steadfastly refuse to consider another person's reality because it doesn't coexist with the rosy fictional account of heroic staff doing their "best". Their so-called best is crap. I've been TERRORIZED in hospitals from nursing staff--and I don't even speak to them, or move!
*Placing blame (or blaming them at all) onto people trying to receive treatment and care is just sick; truly sick. Blaming people with mental health... i'm speechless. This profession is full of judgmental, unqualified, unaware, inflexible, dishonest, and uncaring individuals who find a sanctuary of small minded & like minded individuals who are the worst types of persons to be in the Health CARE Field. (See the care word?)
*Psych units are NOT meant to be comfortable??? What the.... well you got your wish Danielle, because they aren't. And not only that, they are horrific! And that is part of the problem-- people who DON'T want to make their patients comfortable, and feel justified using maltreatment. Unbelievable....
*Get out because clearly your HEART is not in it. You're lying to your employer, yourself, and worst of all, lying to people who DO NEED someone to give a crap about them because they're at the end of the line :(
*Being in an ACUTE STATE, means help and treatment immediately... and MDs who work in acute treatment are the best not the worst AND they do care, are open minded, flexible, understanding, and most of all WANT their patients to be comfortable, to feel safe, so they're able to put their fears and burdens aside, to get much needed rest ("kick back & watch TV" as you call it!!), and to trust committed and caring staff with their lives.
As an RN and a person with mental illness, I find your comments spot on, Danielle. Some facilities are not very nice. Some nurses are horrible, but you will find this in any healthcare field. People are people and you will find the same types of people as you see anywhere in life. There are a lot of nurses who really care and a lot who should get out of the profession.
I have to say my experience was traumatic like some other commenters. It was violent, it was in a bad area, and I was scared for my life. There was hardly enough security so there were far too many injuries on innocent people. I had twenty minutes of therapy a week and that was it... I also am highly allergic to many foods and would repeatedly get those foods so I was often almost STARVING and eating a piece of bread and an apple a day... it was horrific. I guess it varies by person, but I could not wait to get the hell out of there.
So awful :( That's what my mother has always told me since I was a young girl. She said "If you're not totally nuts when you go in, you soon will be..." and then proceeded to inform me of the horrors which took place and what she had to do [to someone] to be snuck out of there during one stay. I visited her at her last stay a year ago which has an excellent reputation & was mortified at the complete lack of conherence, consistency, and care... just unreal! Yes, she needed help, but that place was &*^).
I really need to tell you that not all psychiatric facilities are the same. Please understand that while some people do have bad experiences, some people do have great experiences. If you can find help in other ways, that's fine, but remember, these _are_ an option and can help. They can keep you safe and alive and that's important. Your life and happiness is important.
- Natasha Tracy
I agree. I checked myself in after falling apart at my therapist appointment. I was suicidal. I stayed 10 days. Nurses and staff were caring. When too much noise and light I was allowed to hang out in the quiet room for as long as I wanted. The staff encouraged us to talk to them about our issues. Being there saved my life.
I had attempted suicide and when I woke up in the hospital, I remember them telling me I had two choices: either I went to stay in the mental hospital on my own or they forcefully admitted me. Either way, I did not want to go but if I had not made the choice to admit myself, I probably would have had to stay much longer than I actually did. We all wore grey sweat suits and the nurses didn't actually seem to care about us. I remember thinking that I didn't belong there, that the people there were actually insane and I was nothing like them. I mostly stayed in my room and cried. The only person who served to be of any help to be there was my room mate. She was an older woman who mostly stayed in our room and read books. She was always very sweet to me and she often told me that, while she understands that all I want to do is cry, I needed to try. She told me that as long as I tried, I would feel better. I did voluntarily admit myself, but I was not allowed to leave. I was allowed three phone calls a day. One after breakfast, one after lunch, and one after dinner. I called my mom every time. I think the worst thing sh about the whole experience was that it was in no way helping me with my depression or anxiety. Instead, I was allowed to cry in my room for as long as I wanted. I felt like a zombie and the whole thing felt unreal, like it was a strange dream. I never want to go back.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I cannot fathom why/how the people who need human kindness, compassion, and are most vulnerable get treated unfairly and inhumanely. I am soo oo desperate for help but I just hide at home crying, unable to leave, or go to work cuz I can't stop crying and wanting to die--which i'm not afraid of and would be welcomed. the thought of these places is worse than hell. It IS the vision I've always had of hell since I was a child! I hope you, & your roommate are happy now...