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How Do I Tell My Parents I Need Mental Health Help?

April 5, 2012 Natasha Tracy

Mental health is something that matters whether you’re seven, seventeen and seventy, and any of those ages can fall victim to a mental illness. Depression, for example, is quite prevalent and undertreated in the elderly.

But if you’re underage, it may be more difficult than just going to your doctor to start the process of getting help for your mental health. It likely means explaining your mental health concerns to your parents; which, quite reasonably, is scary to a young person. (It’s scary to an old person too, but I digress.)

So how do you tell your parents you think you need mental health help?

What Makes You Think You Need Help?

It’s absolutely possible to be underage and need mental health help and it’s absolutely possible that you, as an underage person, might be the one to realize it before your parents. After all, only you know how you are feeling inside.

But it’s important to sit down for a moment and think, logically about why you think you need help. No doubt, you have your reasons, but it’s important to think critically about what they are so that you can communicate them to your parents (and then, later, to a healthcare professional).

Write Down Your Reasons

Now that you’ve got your thoughts straight, write down what you want to say to your parents. I don’t say this because I think you need another piece of homework, I say this because it can be very intimidating and anxiety-causing to talk to your parents and you might forget what you want to say. This happens to everyone. During that all-important conversation the points you want to make just fly out of your head. And take a look at it from your parent’s perspective – if you can’t tell them what’s wrong, how can they help you?

Get Ready to Talk

Now that you’re clear on your part of the conversation, make a plan on when and how to talk to your parents. Hopefully you can find a time when there’s no pressure to be somewhere or do something. Maybe talk to one parent alone if you feel more comfortable with that.

And make sure you have support people to back you up if things don’t go well. Hopefully things will go well and you’ll get what you need from your parents, but if they don’t, friends you can call can make all the difference in the world. Your school counselor might be another resource you can use for support during this time.

Talk to Your Parents

Then it’s time to have the talk. Try to be calm and act rationally, if you can. You might not be able to, and that’s OK too, just do your best.

If you’re really concerned that things will blow up when you talk to your parents, consider writing them a letter and giving it to them with a few hours to digest it before you talk.

Get Help

The goal of talking to your parents is to get help so that is the next step. Keep in mind, your parents might not know what to do – that’s OK, adults aren’t perfect and sometimes we’re as confused as anyone else.

So maybe you can suggest what kind of help you need. Do you need an eating disorder specialist? Do you need inpatient treatment for an addiction? Do you want to talk to a psychologist? Do you think you have a mental illness and should see a doctor? Do you need emergency help because you’re afraid you might hurt yourself?

Any of those things are OK. All kinds of help are out there and whatever you need is what you should ask for. If in doubt, see your family doctor and get a referral from there.

Parents Aren’t Perfect

I probably don’t need to tell you this but parents aren’t perfect and they might not reach out with the love and support you deserve. But remember, you do deserve those things and your parents might just need a bit of time with this new information before they can give them to you.

And please remember that help is always available, no matter what. These helplines can get you started.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter.

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2012, April 5). How Do I Tell My Parents I Need Mental Health Help?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, August 11 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2012/04/how-do-i-tell-my-parents-i-need-mental-health-help



Author: Natasha Tracy

Natasha Tracy is a renowned speaker, award-winning advocate, and author of Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar. She's also the host of the podcast Snap Out of It! The Mental Illness in the Workplace Podcast.

Find Natasha Tracy on her blog, Bipolar BurbleTwitter, InstagramFacebook, and YouTube.

Mohamed Esmail
September, 18 2016 at 9:35 am

Hi, my name is Mohamed, im 14 and 9 months old if that helps, and I'm pretty sure somethings wrong with me. Ever since I was a kid I've was a little bit off as people would say, people have said to my parents, even in argument they have said it, I was just a abnormal child growing up. I always knew that something was off but I've never really taken a second to think about it until about last month when had a panic attack at schooI
I got home and I started taking surveys, I took a total of i think 18 surveys. I took some about anxiety, some about depression, and some about bipolar disorder. I've gotten all positive for all of them, every single bipolar disorder survey I took I got that I had symptoms of bipolar 2, It said that I have severe depression, and severe anxiety along with hypomania and possible PSTD from my past experiences. Now I know they are just surveys, i didn't take them to seriously. I tried to tell my parents, but more indirectly, i asked them questions about maybe having these disorders in our bloodline so it would make more sense gonna be these things, but they answered and said absolutely no. I tried telling my mom she told me that it was just horemones, i know for a fact that all these emotions I'm felling are not because I'm maturing in anyway. I know its deeper than that, I know it's not me becoming a man rather it was actually something wrong with me. I want medical help because my condition is getting worse and my parents don't believe me. it's getting bad, my parents come from a culture where these type of things are dissmesed because they believe it's because im not a man, my parents tell me to pray more but I still fell not okay. It's gotten so bad that I can LITTERALY my thoughts in my head, i can fell my emotions in my hands, and my parents think that it's because I don't pray. I really want help from a councillor to get medication so I don't end up doing something. My depression anxiety and my bipolarty is hard to hide because it takes a huge gap in my life. My friends looks at me weird they don't understand what wrong with me because I'm to afraid to tell them. I be told one of my friends and he told me to man up, andnthat triggered me to not teust antone about it. I can't tell my school councillor because I don't know her and I can't trust her to not tell my parents. I don't know what to do but in need help.

Olivia
September, 7 2016 at 4:13 pm

I have struggled with extreme anxiety my whole entire life. I have never been relaxed, and able to enjoy anything because I am always so nervous. I also suffer from social anxiety, which makes things even worse. I have always had very low self esteem, and no confidence. I started taking medicine to reduce my anxiety, and it helped a little, but I still never feel relaxed or at peace. I also went to therapy for about a year and a half, it helped a little, but it didn't do much. I need help, I do not want to go to a therapist twice a week, I would like to go to a inpatient rehab for anxiety and depression. I am afraid to tell my mom because I do not know if we have enough money. I have been struggling with several issues that she does not know about, she does not know my anxiety has gotten worse, and that I am severely depressed. I would like to go to an inpatient rehab because I want to get away, and have time to focus on me, and nothing else. What do I do? How do I tell my mom?

Samantha
September, 7 2016 at 3:15 pm

Uh, hi there.
I'm 13 and I'm pretty sure I may be suffering from one of the below:
-Anxiety
-Depression
-Bipolar Disorder
I've only taken online tests, which is why I'm still questioning it, but I've taken at least 50 and they have all said that I most likely have all of them (plus possibly ADD).
I've been testing myself for these and feeling the symptoms since a bit after I turned 12, so it's not just a recent thing.
I'm pretty sure that my parents would react badly (my mom would probably blame it on puberty and my dad would most likely just ignore me) so I'm not sure if I should try to tell them.
Being 13, I'm probably too young to just call myself in to any sort of doctor's office.
Please help...

Blake
August, 15 2016 at 11:23 am

I'm 12 years old in middle school (yr8) and think I might have bipolar disorder, I'm also a cutter and my friends are worried about me and say I should get a psychologist, but I need to tell my parents and I think they might say I'm just going in my teens or that I'm making things up. I think about suicide and death a lot and my parents don't even realize my scars. I've been feeling sad, hopeless, useless and depressed all this year. I'm not sure if I even have bipolar but I took some quizzes on the Internet maybe not the best thing but it said I did. I just know I need help even though I don't want to.
(I didn't know what to write)

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
August, 15 2016 at 2:01 pm

Hi Blake,
I'm so sorry to hear you are in such distress right now. It sounds like things are really bad for you and you need help. You're right, you _need_ to tell your parents so you can get the help you need. But in the meantime, you can talk to a school counselor who may be able to support you when you talk to your parents. Also, many helplines are available, some just for youth, and you should call one and talk to them about these issues. They, too, might be able to help you with your parents or suggest local resources for your to use.
See our page on helplines and resources for more information: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
- Natasha Tracy

P
August, 13 2016 at 7:44 pm

Hello,
So, right now I'm 14 and about to go into high school. I don't know when this has started, but I've had feelings of uselessness, sadness, that would come for a couple of months and go, theb after maybe 1 or 2 months come back. I think a lot about the past and stupid things I've said from when I was say 9 and said something stupid to a girl. I also have feelings of anxiety. Along with this, I've also had problems with my social interactions with others, as when outside of school, I don't really talk to anyone. I've already talked to my mother about this twice. The first time, I told her I think I may have depression, and the second time I explained that I may have bipolar disorder. Both times have proven unsuccessful, with my mother saying that people get sad all the time and I just have to deal with it. I don't think I'll even be able to speak to my father about this, since he always refferes to mentally ill people as "sick" and "not right". I just want to know what is wrong with me, but I have no real way to get mental help, unless I either wait untill sometime in highschool to talk to a school nurse (which in my opinion is rather risky as they may tell my parents),or wait until I'm 18. Right now, waiting until 18 seems to be the best option, but I'm not sure I can wait that long for a proper diagnosis.

Murphy
August, 9 2016 at 8:48 am

If that doesn't work, call a help line. Things will start rolling. Your health is your right. You don't need anyone's permission to be healthy, including your mom's. Wish you speedy recovery, Jenny.

Murphy
August, 9 2016 at 8:33 am

Suppose you stop acting before your friends and enlist their help to see a doctor?

Jenny
August, 8 2016 at 4:02 pm

I have been struggling for several years with feeling severely depressed and wanting to die. I'm 17 now gonna be a senior but I don't know how to get help. I tried to tell my mom in 8th grade and she just said "everybody gets 'the blues'" and it made me so mad and freshman year I tried again, she screamed and told me to "snap out of it" because I had been crying and couldn't hold myself together. It hurts me so much when I see other people getting help and recovering and I'm just stuck here. I cut for like 3 years but stopped because I don't even have the motivation to do that anymore. I literally cry so hard every single night and often times in the day to the point where it just feels like a complete mental breakdown and I can't stop. I then feel very numb afterwards. I act very happy around my family and friends, because I'm too scared for them to know and I hate to put that on my friends. My mom and I are very close but she just won't believe that I'm really depressed and it makes me feel absolutely worthless and I don't know what to do anymore...

Jamie
August, 5 2016 at 8:16 am

I am 17 years old. I think I have depression, anxiety, and stress disorder. Which has been affecting my health. I am now underweight and always lightheaded and have no energy. And it doesn't help that I think I have arthritis in my knees, and maybe even my hips now cause my parents won't do anything about my knees. Whenever I'm in public i feel like everyone is looking at my bowed legs, making me feel insecure. I hate myself and wish that i could wake up to a different life. I'm not as patient anymore and I worry about almost everything, and with school almost here, I'm scared what it will do to me. My parents don't know about my mental and emotional health, or even that I'm underweight, cause they won't believe me or they will do nothing about it.

E
August, 4 2016 at 3:46 pm

I'm 20 years old. I'm certain that I've been struggling with depression and anxiety. I've never been clinically diagnosed because I'm terrified of needles and bloodwork (that's a panic attack waiting to happen for me). I've been dealing with this continuously since I was 13 and I still don't know how to go about getting help. I've self-harmed and contemplated suicide countless times. The self-harming has pretty much stopped. Sometimes I have relapses. But the suicidal tendencies are worse now than ever. I live with my grandparents and have since I was 11. I told my grandmother once before when I was about 15-16 about being depressed and anxious and she told me to "pray and let God handle it". I need help before I end up driving myself into a tree but how do I get help? I have no insurance and don't make enough money to afford a dr. visit. Is there a way I can get help that's affordable? And a way I don't have to have bloodwork done to tell me what I already know?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
August, 5 2016 at 3:04 am

Hi E,
Getting help without insurance is harder but it is doable. See here for our list of resources and hotlines. Do call a helpline if you're suicidal but you don't have to be suicidal to call and they may know of further resources. http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
Also check out local mental health organizations like NAMI (just Google them). They may also be able to help your further.
Always ask a mental health facility if they allow payment on a sliding scale based on income. Many do.
Finally, check out this mental health services locator: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/locator
I hope that helps.
- Natasha Tracy

Jamie
August, 4 2016 at 2:39 pm

I'm 17 years old, and I think that I have depression, anxiety, and stress disorder. I have thought this for quite a while. I have never told my parents, so what should I do if i know my parents won't believe me if I do tell them. And even if I did tell them and they did believe me, that they would do nothing to help me. A lot of the time, I want to die. I could never actually bring myself to hurting myself, and I know the effect of killing myself would be far worse for everyone than most would think. Please help me.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
August, 5 2016 at 2:59 am

Hi Jamie,
You really do need to tell you parents and, you never know, maybe they will surprise you by helping you? Is there another adult in your life that you trust that you can tell? That person may be able to help you talk to your parents.
Otherwise, you need to contact a doctor. You family doctor may also be able to help talk to your parents and give you a referral to other help that you may need.
Finally, you can contact a helpline so they can point out additional forms of help. You do not have to be suicidal to call one. See our list of helplines and resources, here: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
- Natasha Tracy

Isabel
July, 30 2016 at 6:35 am

I'm a 15, almost 16, year old girl and I think I'm bipolar. It was my friends who first brought it to my attention that there might be something up with me so I decided to try some online quizzes, which I know are not the most accurate thing to check, and they have all diagnosed me with severe bipolar disorder. I cut, I'm suicidal, and I'm sick of feeling this way but I don't know how to tell my parents that I need help, it will tear my family apart. The websites I've looked at haven't helped me at all and the school councillor won't take me seriously. If I have to keep feeling like this, I will probably end up killing myself. Help me.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
August, 1 2016 at 4:27 am

Hi Isabel,
I'm so sorry to read that you are in that situation. I was once there, too.
You _need_ to tell your parents. It's critical. Remember, as hard as it might be to tell your family, your life is certainly worth it.
In saying that, though, it is really hard so it would be great to get some support when you do that. Look for support through an external resource or hotline. You can find our directory of these things here: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
Please remember, help is out there. People do want to help you. I know you have run into walls so far, but many of us do. You can get past it and get better.
- Natasha Tracy

Kate
July, 28 2016 at 12:08 pm

Hi,
So I'm pretty sure I have depression. Severe depression. I'm twelve turning thirteen and I've felt the way I do since I was ten. I've done loads of online tests and the majority say I'm either bipolar or have severe clinical depression. I've tried to tell my dad how and that I want help but he just brushed it off with "it's just hormones it'll be over soon". I feel as though my mum would believe me and get me the help I need but then again I don't want to tell her because she also has depression and I know she cares about me so it just makes me think she'll snap and have a breakdown if she finds out that her baby has depression too. I suspect that she'll blame herself because of genetics. I really want to try and see my gp or the school counsellor but I can't pluck up the courage. All the websites I go to don't help. I'm stuck and don't know what to do or where to go. Please help me.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
August, 1 2016 at 4:33 am

Hi Kate,
I'm sorry you're in such a situation. I know how hard that is. You _need_ to get help, though. If you do have a mental illness, or even if you are experiencing great distress for another reason, it can swallow you whole. Your life is worth more than that.
I can understand how touchy the relationship with your mom might be, but just consider what she would feel if she knew you were suffering and didn't tell her. If she is like most mothers, she would hate that. And you should tell your mother that while genetics may have something to do with it, many factors go into a depression/bipolar diagnosis and _it's_not_her_fault_.
You may want to read this article on whether people are born with mental illness (written on my personal site and not endorsed by HealthyPlace): http://natashatracy.com/bipolar-disorder/people-born-bipolar-disorder/
You can also turn to hotlines and external resources for help. Maybe after speaking with someone there, you may feel more confident in getting the help you need. See our directory of hotlines and resources here: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
Remember, you can get help and people do want to help you. You _need_ to reach out, though, to get that help.
- Natasha Tracy

Lynne
July, 11 2016 at 7:14 pm

I am 16 years old. I believe that I have a depression because of online quizzes and I just had a breakdown awhile ago. I really want to seek medical help but I think my parents wouldn't approve.

Lei
July, 7 2016 at 3:59 pm

I am a 16, almost 17, year old girl and I know, based on extremely extensive research and a counselors, that I have depression. I don't know how severe it is, but I have a feeling it's at least moderate, and I also believe that I may have an anxiety disorder. The problem is that I've tried to talk to my parents- and they do not believe me. It's almost like they just don't WANT me to have any kind of issues. I managed to put it aside and just not deal with it for awhile but I am being pressured now to get a job and I have been having more and more panic attacks and nervous breakdowns, to the point where I have had fainting spells in front of my friends because of an attack. I know (based on past conversations and experience) that my parents will not believe me and I don't know what else to do. How should I go about seeking help?

Cassidy
June, 23 2016 at 5:34 pm

I'm a fifteen year old girl who has horrid mood swings. They come at me so quickly and I get set off by the smallest thing but I also get so happy so quickly and they change so quickly it's hard to keep up. I spoke to my mom once about it and she said it was becuase I was a teenager and stuff. But I don't feel like it is. My life suffered because of my emotions. I fight with my family and friends or I'm outgoing and in crowds which I normally hate. I can't talk to my parents it just doesn't work out for me they think in bring overdramatic and it's just because I'm a teenager. Is there anything you can do to help me?

Cassidy
June, 22 2016 at 10:46 am

Hi,
For awhile now I have believed that I have had bipolar disorder. I know it's bad to do this but I have been taking online quizzes for a whole year all with the same result that I was highly bipolar. The only problem is 1.) they are online quizzes 2.) my parents would say it's was for attention or my hormones 3.) I am 15 so I don't think that it could be but I have all the symbols but my parents would say it's hormones but it's been well over a year and I still am the same way even worse with my mood swings. I don't know what to do. Is there any advice anyone has?

Anonymous
June, 19 2016 at 7:45 am

I am twelve years old. I am suffering from severe mood swings that I can't handle. My low mood swings include medicine overdose, self harming and suicide attempts. My ups include spending all my savings, painting my room a new colour and so on. My teacher knows I self harm and I have seen the school counsellor quite a few times. I'll be honest I don't like talking to her. I need help but I just can't tell my parents. It's impossible.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
June, 20 2016 at 4:48 am

Hi Anonymous,
I appreciate how hard it is to tell your parents when you're not well -- especially in a way that is this serious. You have to reach out to someone, though. You see, things can get better and the pain can get better, but only if you get help.
You may want to call a helpline -- of course, if you're feeling like you might hurt yourself -- but also for more ideas on how you can get support and find out who can help you.
Please see our helpline and resources section here: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
Please know that many of us have been there. You can get out of it and you can get better.
- Natasha Tracy

Julia
June, 14 2016 at 5:23 pm

I'm fifteen and I have depression, social anxiety, I pull out my hair in clumps, and stress disorders. I see a psychologist and my parents know but they don't know a lot. I've recently started to self-harm and it's getting to the point where I think about it and my wrists will tingle for hours. I haven't told my therapist that. I really think I may also be slightly bipolar. I feel like I need to go to a mental facility because my therapist isn't working and I'm getting worse. I have panic attacks and emotional breakdowns way more frequently. I need more help but I don't think my parents will understand. What in the world do I do?

Kendra
May, 24 2016 at 4:36 am

Well, I have been sent to a few different facilities, short term and long term, so far nothing has worked. I started to get a little better after they removed a few of my medications. However a lot has been going on, like my father and step mom are getting a divorce, my mom is moving out of state and is trying to force me to go with her, school is ending sadly, and a lot of other things. I recently relapsed in self harm. I haven't told anyone in fear that that will cause my mother to take me with her, which trust me would NOT be a good thing. However I have been fighting with her a lot lately. . .and my suicidal thoughts return every now and then. It is getting bad. I am not sure how to go about this to be honest.

Anonoymous
May, 23 2016 at 4:53 pm

Hey so I'm not sure what to do. I've always been pretty independent and more of a "Don't help me. I'm fine" Kind of person, but recently some full memories of early childhood abuse came back to me and I realized that that was why I'd always been the way I've been. I've also suffered from what I now might believe to be Bipolar Disorder and PTSD. I don't really know what to do because I don't want to sound whiny or anything, but I don't want to just keep surviving like this. I have done research and I've taken online tests wich all say that I have Bipolar Disorder and PTSD, but I just don't trust the internet. I won't have to much of a problem with my mom, I hope, but I also think she'll just brush it off. She's done it before with other, what I thought to be minor things, which are actually connected to Bipolar Disorder. I will NOT talk to the school couselor because of some connection issues I have with people. I have a problem as well because, if I do go to the doctor, and they say nothing is wrong, I'll be happy, yes, but I'll also feel kind of terrible because of how stupid and whiny I'd seem. I'm asking for a full mental health assessment tonight. I'll let you know how it goes okay?

Lost and forgotten ones
May, 11 2016 at 9:17 pm

I've been having problems all my life, thinking that theirs something mentally wrong with me because I think I have schizophrenia. When I was 10 I tried to tell my mom that I kept seeing things everywhere I went and the things would sometimes take the form of my siblings and only once they had left would I realize they looked nothing like them but she brushed it off and said it was only a faze, that for a small amount of time my siblings seen things too when they where 10. I'm now 14 and this is still continuing, what I never told my mom was that I have been seeing these things since I was 5. I'm afraid to tell her what's going on because I think she'll just brush it off again and these things are really scaring me now. I don't know what to do.

Siobhan
April, 24 2016 at 5:29 am

I tried to tell my dad that i tought i had anxiety this morning. He didnt believe me and called me stupid. This wasnt the first time I've told him either. I told my brother but he just srugged and said what can i do. Lifes been hard since i lost my mum 3 years ago, but my nerves are shot with worry which is only making life worse. Im afraid to tell my sisters as they have their own familys and i dont want to worry them by asking for their help. I went to the school counsellor after mum died and i quiet honestly dont know if shes even qualified so i dont feel comfortable talking to her about this. My doctors not much better
I just feel so hopeless.....

Anna
April, 16 2016 at 3:39 pm

I think I might be bipolar because I've shown a lot of signs received positive on every online test I've took and can relate to people on YouTube but I just don't know how to tell my parents that I think I need help. They think I'm innocent and I don't curse or anything and I'm not like that, I was wondering if anyone knows a solution and could give some tips for telling them , they would probably think I'm overreacting and I'm scared what would happen with my life if I told them, please help!

kittycat
March, 27 2016 at 5:37 pm

Hi I'm 14 I think I have depression and /or anxiety and I don't know how to get helf my dad doesn't care how us kids feel and if he does something for us kids its because my mom told him to.my mom wouldn't believe me if I said I wanted to get help for something she thinks is all in my head. I can't ask my friends because most of them are going though stuff. I can't talk to anyone else or help line because I freak out that I'm going to mess up and say something wrong. I need help I have thought of suicide but I wouldn't be able to kill myself because I don't know how and the ways I know I could mess up and just be I a lot of pain .

Kayla
March, 24 2016 at 7:44 pm

I think I may be bipolar but I don't know how to tell my parents. One of my closest friends is telling me that I quite possibly may have the disorder but I don't know what to do. I've been doing research and I have a lot of the symptoms. He's told me that it may be a multi-personality bipolar disorder, because I know what I'm saying but I don't mean what I'm saying or why. I get irritable when things don't go my way which causes me to hurt the others I care for. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong in utter guilt, under the circumstances that I do something I may think was wrong. If something bad happens there's loads of guilt even when it's not my fault. I have mood swings, sadness, anger, anxiety, apathy, apprehension, euphoria, guilt, hopelessness... The list feels like it goes on forever. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to go about it.

Kas
February, 20 2016 at 11:44 am

I think I might have depression but I feel like if I go to a doctor theyre just going to say I'm just sad. I feel empty and am always frustrated with my parents and now my friends. I'm tired all the time no matter how much sleep I get and I never want to do anything or go anywhere but I feel so alone. I sometimes wish I was never born and I don't see the purpose of life and have had many thoughts about harming and suicide but have never acted upon them and I don't think I ever will but I'm afraid that will change one day. I'm too afraid and angry to talk with my parents or anybody but I want to feel normal again but is this really depression?

Darbie friant
February, 17 2016 at 4:52 pm

my mom said that she thinks i might me schizophrenic. she then accused me of being over dramatic and that i think i'm special. i don't know what she want's from me. if i tell her the truth she'll be upset with me, and if i keep my problems hidden she acts like she's worried. i don't know what to do. she offered me a counselor once, and when i asked about it she used the money guilt trip thing. i don't know what she wants from me.

Seth
February, 17 2016 at 4:13 pm

I read almost every single comment here and i honestly feel bad writing this comment because it seems everyone has it harder than me but I think it may make me feel better to say this. I am a 13 turning 14 year old and I think that i have anxiety disorder leading into Ocd and depression. I can't exactly describe how i feel but if i were to i'd say that i feel "lifeless" I feel detached from everyone and everything. I tried to tell my my about this and ask them to let me see a therapist or someone who could help but whenever I get close to my mom (not my dad because my parents are separated) I would always freeze up then run away before I could say anything. Just to give you some information as to why I think i have these disorders... I constantly get these hot/cold flashes, I have a racing heart almost all day, i start trembling for no reason, my mind is constantly running at a high pace, and way more. I would rather die that present in front of anyone. I have self harmed but only once and thought about self harming but I haven't yet. As someone else said before but my parents think that I am a perfect little boy who can't possibly be more normal but they are way wrong. It's getting harder and harder to get through each day and it feels like the days are passing bye without me even being there. I feel empty. It took me 2 week of convincing to even say this online. I have taken many online quizzes almost every day and they all say its depresssion/anxiety/ocd or both. Sorry for the long rant.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
February, 18 2016 at 5:49 am

Hi Seth,
It's really tough to be your age and think you may have a mental illness. I do understand what that's like. You _need_ professional help to at least even tell you if there is an issue and what that issues might be. If you can't talk to your parents, call a helpline or see a school counselor for support. They can help you find a way to approach your parents to get the help you need.
And please don't compare yourself to others. None of us have it "worse" or "better." We're all just doing the best we can. Your pain is as real as anyone else's.
Our hotlines and resources page is here: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
Please reach out.
- Natasha Tracy

Lilly
January, 27 2016 at 11:50 am

I really really need to ask my parents to help me get psychological help. I want to ask them about it, but I don't want to tell them the reason why I need it in fear that it will scare them and that they will send me to the nut house..... I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to a couple friends about it, but they have become scared of me too now. I need help before this whole things tightens its grip on me forever. Please give me some suggestions on what to do.

The Nobody
January, 23 2016 at 3:45 am

Wutsername_ Hello, I saw your comment and it piqued my interest because I am 13 but I suffer from exactly the same things. You're comment sounded like it could've come from me or my friends. There is one slight thing though, I used to cut and suffer from ANA. And recently, my sister had one panic attack and went to get tested. I've had multiple panic attacks recently and nothing has happened. Granted, I don't even think they notice because I mainly have them at school or in the shower. But I don't see why after one panic attack, my sister gets tested, but even after my parents find out about my cutting and starving, I only see my school counselor twice and we just talk about a counselor. There were no mentions of getting tested for anything. I've stopped cutting and I don't think I can bring myself back to the point I was instantly, but I've been considering it. I've even been considering a planned and failed suicide attempt to cry for help. Only because I can't bring myself to talk to them. I suffer from self diagnosed manic depression and an anxiety disorder.

Wutsername_
January, 19 2016 at 8:16 am

Someone, I really need help! Well, I am 11 years old but I apparently act older. Tumblr, phan, and emo music obsessed. I think I have depression and/ or anxiety. I don't want any attention, I just need help. I cry a lot, and when I don't, I just feel empty. I'm terrified of people not liking me. I'm terrified of rejection. I hate it when a lot of people are near. I have taken many, many depression/ anxiety tests online, and they have all come out saying I have it, bad. But I just can't trust the internet, not even the nhs website. I really want to tell my parents, and ask to get tested by a doctor. I just think they wont understand, they'll say I'm just going through a sad phase. I go to ask one of them, and get too scared and don't wanna do it. I don't think I can ever pluck up the courage, and they just wont let me go anyway. I don't know what to do. Help... please.

Anonymous8
January, 18 2016 at 9:49 am

I have read some of the other comments and my problem Isn't nearly as bad as some of the others, but it feels good just to be saying this:
My parents both think of me as their perfect little daughter because my older sister is depressed and my parents won't take her to get help because they don't want to believe its real and my youngest sister has ADHD pretty bad. And I am possitive that there is something wrong with my Dad and I don't want to cause more problems because I feel like there is something wrong with ME. I can't talk to my parents because my older sister can't even get help and my school councelor is wacko and I just can't take the stress anymore. I have thought about self harm multiple times but haven't done anything yet. I need help and I don't know what to do!!!!!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
January, 18 2016 at 4:15 pm

Hi Anonymous8,
Thank you for reaching out in your comment. You need to reach out beyond your circle and a helpline may be able to direct you as to how to do this. You do not have to be suicidal or in a crisis to call. See this page for helpline numbers: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
You're right to work to find help. It is out there and things do get better.
- Natasha Tracy

LoverofCats
January, 8 2016 at 4:00 pm

I'm almost 13 and have been struggling with depression and bipolar disorder for years. Over the holidays I had a break from seeing my psychologist and things got bad, REALLY BAD. I would cry and cry to my dad on the phone every night (my parents are separated). One day, after almost a week of building courage, I told them I needed to be hospitalized. They didn't believe me and kept saying it would "be OKay" I had to go to the emergency room once before after a suicide attempt and I don't know any other way to let them know I'm serious. How do I convince them in not okay and really need the support of a hospital? I am so close to taking all the pills in our medicine cabinet just because I cant get away from life, I don't know what to do. I can wait until things just "get better"

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
January, 10 2016 at 4:36 am

Hi LoverofCat,
That sounds like a really tough spot. I think what you need to do is be completely honest.y Tell them that you are not "okay" and that you don't feel you are going to be okay and you need the support that a hospital can offer. Even tell them that you are considering suicide and that you have a specific plan. If these things don't work, please call a helpline and see if someone there can help you or even talk to your parents for you. http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
I know this is really hard and I know it's even harder when your parents don't seem like they're on your side but it sounds like you know what you need so don't let other deprive you of what it best for you.
- Natasha Tracy

Caitlin
December, 13 2015 at 5:22 pm

Asking for help isn't exactly my thing, but I've been putting this off for years and I think I could benefit from some advice. I am a college student, I recently turned 18, and on my 18th birthday I had the displeasure of meeting my biological mother who, up to this point, has not been present in my life for 16 years. For all of my life, I've been living with my father and my grandparents. I made my first attempt at suicide when I was 7. I started self-harming when I was 9. When I was 12 I went through a major depressive episode that lasted for 1 year and about 8 months coupled with bulimia. Around the age of 14 my self-harming got very bad, I dissociated from reality, and for the first time ever my family noticed and decided it was best that I see a counselor, which I did for about half a year until I told him I was in a better place because 1) my dad kept complaining about how much money he was spending and 2) my family didn't want to believe that I needed further treatment (medication, therapy, etc.). I recall him telling me that I needed medication for my depression and anxiety, but that he wasn't sure whether I was bipolar or not so he was going to refer me to a therapist and they'd see how antidepressants would affect me. Anyways, I stopped seeing him and my depression returned. From June to October of 2014, my depression became the worst it had ever been before. I was hearing voices, I was having vivid hallucinations, I strongly believed that the only way I could ever be free from my pain was to kill myself so I'd slit my wrist, overdose on pills. I'd cut until I fainted from blood loss then wake up the next day with headaches and bloodstained sheets and floors. It was a nightmare within reality. At one point, I was sitting on my bed preparing for school one october morning, thinking to myself "Tomorrow, I'' take all the pills, I'll go to school, and I'll die there". Lo and behold, the next morning I woke up feeling the greatest I had ever felt in my entire life. The entire world seemed brighter, louder. Just this amazing thing and I was so curious, I wanted to explore. It felt like the universe had opened itself up to me revealing all that it had in store. This feeling lasted for exactly a week, crashing down directly after snapping at a friend. I have had quite a few episodes like this since, increasing in severity and longevity. I can remember being sick with a fever one night, but feeling so high that I couldn't feel it. Laughing for 3 hours straight despite having a sore throat, not sleeping for 4 days (or a week). I can distinctly remember walking to class one day, although it felt more like I was floating. Like I had ascended to some god-level status, then in the same day I got very paranoid because I honestly thought the government was coming to get me, so I had to get on a plane to Thailand, all of which I wrote in a journal (very illegibly) and when a friend drew a dick pic in the same journal I started screaming, etc.. However my longest (what I perceive to be) manic episode so far lasted a month and was over the summer following (yet another) severe psychotic depressive episode. I was very reckless in that one (or so I've been told), having sex with a guy I met on Facebook only 3 days prior, smoking in the basement of my religious grandmother's house, etc. But I also have episodes (though not as frequent) where I'm very depressed and extremely agitated yet loaded with energy, which have included me trashing my room, snapping at close friends (told my best friend I hated her but had no recollection whatsoever), and other things. I, as well as many of my friends, believe that I may be suffering from bipolar disorder. I have friends with the illness, and my mother has it really bad as well....I'm not asking for help, I'd just like to know, with all that's been going on recently and my moods continually shifting from extreme highs to lows on a daily basis, is there any point? Is there any point in continually trying to show my family that something really is wrong somewhere? Because they seem to be completely oblivious, blaming my behavior on laziness, poor sleeping habits, and lack of concern......I'd just like to know if there's any point in anything, because I can feel myself progressively getting worse and I think I'm starting to lose the ability to be honest with myself and everyday I stray further from what my family and myself have perceived me to be.

Abbie
December, 10 2015 at 10:23 am

I've been feeling depressed since the beginning of the year (2015) and recently lost a lot of confidence and i think it might be anxiety. Whenever i talk to my mother about it she tells me it's just hormones and that she was like it in her teens too. However i don't know if it is and i'm scared to genuinely ask her to take me to the doctors because she'll just brush it off, and in general i'm not very good at talking to doctors, or adults of any kind so i don't know what would happen if i did go see someone. I've never been a quiet person but lately i just seem anxious and I don't want to talk to anyone. There was a point where i had suicidal thoughts a few weeks ago as-well, but i'm scared to tell my mum in-case it worries her or makes her blame herself. My friend pushed me off a main road as i walked in-front of a car. I just don't know what to do.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
December, 10 2015 at 11:01 am

Hi Abbie,
I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling like that. You absolutely need help. Maybe you could go see a professional yourself, with a friend? Others can often help us get the strength we need to get through those kinds of experiences.
In the meantime, please reach out to one of these hotlines. These people will listen and not judge: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referr…
Don't give up. You can get better with help.
- Natasha

Kayla
December, 2 2015 at 3:00 pm

I have tried talking to my mom and she says she will get me help but that was last month and I took one of those online test and it says im suffering from depression and anxiety disorder . so all I can do is try to stay positive :/

Noom
December, 2 2015 at 9:02 am

I believe to have a mental illness from a few years now. Since I was only 11 years old, I had a feeling like something wasn't right. I have symptoms - symptoms that are part of my daily life, and that make it unbearable for me to socialise or work. I am a teenager now, and I have no idea how to ask my mum to get me an appointment. My whole family laughs at mental illnesses. In addition, my brother has problems with alcohol, drugs, and he is old, yet unemployed. My relatives have A LOT to worry about, without me adding to the problems. However, I am afraid that the more I wait, the worse it'll get. I don't want to be a pain, though. How could I tell my family? The embarrassment and shame is very strong from my side.

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