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The Relationship Between Bipolar and Anger / Aggression

February 4, 2013 Natasha Tracy

I am not an angry or an aggressive person. This is not to suggest I don’t have my moments, as we all do, but overall, I have far fewer issues with anger than most people I know. There are lots of reasons for this, I’m sure many have to do with my psychology the way I view anger (I view it as pointless and particularly undesirable).

Nevertheless, it seems that people with bipolar disorder do, on the whole, have anger issues. I’m a bit surprised to hear this as anger is not a diagnostic feature of bipolar disorder, but people write in again and again and talk about either having bipolar and being very angry or being with someone who has bipolar and this partner being very angry.

But are these just anecdotal accounts or do people with bipolar disorder have aggressive and angry tendencies?

Diagnosing Bipolar

When diagnosing bipolar disorder anger and aggression are actually not listed as symptoms. The closest symptom listed is irritation and that is present in manic, hypomanic and mixed moods. Irritability is known to manifest as aggressiveness and impatience with, or intolerance of, others.

But as stated, this is a mood-dependant characteristic. I, certainly, have felt this mood state. It’s very easy to be irritated with the world when you’re moving faster than everyone else, are more “brilliant” than everyone else and are simply “better” than everyone else. “Genius” gets irritated by the “little people” around it.

Aggression and Anger in Bipolar Disorder

But according to this new study,

Subjects with BP [bipolar disorder] display greater rates of anger and aggressive behaviors, especially during acute and psychotic episodes.

This study found that people with bipolar are aggressive when compared to people with other disorders and when compared to healthy controls and this relationship existed even when the person with bipolar disorder wasn’t in a mood episode (although those in a mood episode showed higher levels).

So apparently my feelings of less anger than the average person are the anecdote and those with bipolar experiencing greater anger and aggression are the average.

Dealing with Anger and Aggression in Bipolar Disorder

As the study states, people in acute mood episodes do show greater anger and aggression so, obviously, the first step is to get the bipolar disorder under control. Certainly when you’re feeling well, you have less to be angry about.

But if anger is still a problem with you, I highly recommend you talk openly about it and get some therapy, individual and couples therapy, where appropriate. This is because anger is a highly toxic emotion that can destroy the relationships in your life and diminish any interaction you may have with another person. Anger scares people and traumatizes them and in the end, most people, quite rightly, will not stand for unreasonable amounts of it.

The good news is that therapists have many techniques for dealing with anger and you just need to find the ones that work for you. Not only can therapists teach you these techniques, but they can also help you get in touch with things that may be driving your anger outside of the bipolar disorder. We all, after all, have our issues.

Regardless though, it’s important to remember that having bipolar doesn’t give you an excuse to take your anger out on those around you. Having bipolar gives you the responsibility of finding a way of dealing with the symptom, should it arise.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter.

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APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2013, February 4). The Relationship Between Bipolar and Anger / Aggression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, February 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2013/02/relationship-between-bipolar-anger-aggression



Author: Natasha Tracy

Natasha Tracy is a renowned speaker, award-winning advocate and author of Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar.

Find Natasha Tracy on her blog, Bipolar BurbleTwitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Devoted to bipolar partner
September, 14 2016 at 1:31 pm

Try cognitive behavioural therapy. Winning over negative thoughts with new ones.

RoxxanneRedd
September, 12 2016 at 6:56 pm

I'm seeing a lot of similarity between women's comments and my own 4 yr relationship. He's never been diagnosed but you can't even mention the word 'Bipolar' around him without him getting upset. I know I have my own problems with ADD, Mood Swings, and Chronic Depression. I also grew up in a traumatic household with a Schizophrenia abusive father. My man is never violent towards me, but he gets frustrated and angry easily and cusses me out, then later he acts like everything is completely normal. He has even stated he does not enjoy being an angry asshole but he just cannot help it sometimes. We are not in the best of living situations but we are striving towards our goals. When we are both having a good day we are perfect together and everything just 'clicks'. But it is not easy to deal with the constant roller coaster of ups and downs. We are even starting a business together involving tons of animals. Separating is NOT an option and I cannot bring myself to leave the love of my life. I try to be a calm person and just 'kill him with kindness' so to speak but it is not easy with my own Mood Swings crashing over me. We both are unable to take the normal medications for this kind of stuff due to medical reasons. We both use prescriptional medicinal marijuana as a remedy and it actually has worked in calming us and help with other side effects like the depression, insomnia, anger, etc. I was just hoping some other people had some tips on how to deal with the behavior and not give up. It disheartens me seeing others who have had to leave their loved ones. I can't do that. It's just not an option for either of us.

Devoted to bipolar partner
September, 12 2016 at 5:34 pm

People may provoke you yes but how you respond is a weakness or strength in you. Are you impatient or over sensitive on an unsuspecting victim of Your anger?
I don't get angry outbursts so I don't know I just disregard what people do or say so it doesn't create a rise within me. You have the power to do the same.

bill
August, 31 2016 at 3:32 pm

I've recently was rediagnosed with bipolar my anger was&is an issue.but i personally feel if i have to held accountable for my episodes then why can't those who provoke my episodes also be held accountable? My anger is mostly due to justififable circumstances involving disrespectful people.I've always been a vocal person when it comes to my feelings&hate it i feel like no one is listening.

Loving wife
August, 13 2016 at 8:31 am

I met my husband 8 years ago. He is bipolar. Over the years his aggression and anger has gottom really bad. He has hit me shoved me, pushed me down. I have been with him to his doctors and they know of his abuse. He gets really aggressive and mouthy and when it is bad it is realllllly bad. I have left him and came back when he is better, but I am so tired of coping with his bipolar. I will be 56 this year and I do not want to live like this another 8 years. He is on depakote, lexapro and mirtazapine. Any advice?

Kelly
July, 11 2016 at 8:05 pm

I was never, ever so glad as to read this article. I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1, and for decades I have been telling people that my irritation/anger/outbursts are a huge and daily part of my illness I struggle with. I have never understood why this trait is not being addressed more, because I have talked with other people diagnosed who have confirmed the same trait, or who live with someone bipolar who exhibits this behavior. I can say with the upmost sincerity that I hate this part of my illness, not only because it is so incredibly painful to experience, but I must also face the ugly reality that my words repeatedly really hurt those I love, and that is absolutely devastating. I always take responsibility for my behavior, and make amends every time it is called for, but the guilt never really abates. Sometimes I feel like a broken record, due to how many times I say sorry. But I am committed to doing my best with what I have, so whenever I say it, I mean it. Sometimes, that's all I have to hold on to.

Rebecca
June, 22 2016 at 7:56 am

Your sister has a personality disorder. She can change, but she will need serious motivation to do so. I had some of the same problems. My husband and daughter moved out of the house and into their own apartment. I was devastated. I worked with a therapist and a psychiatrist for two years to learn how to control my aggressive and selfish tendencies. I truly wanted to change because I wanted my husband and daughter to come home. After 19 months, they finally moved back in with me. Because I so desperately want my family to stay together, I have learned ways to control my aggressive and selfish tendencies. The sad part is that if they had not moved out, I would not have been motivated to change my ways.

Hannah
June, 20 2016 at 3:58 pm

My sister sounds very much like your husband. She claims she was diagnosed bipolar almost 25 years ago, and we have never seen any improvement in her behaviors despite years of psychotherapy and multiple medications. She is EXTREMELY aggressive, argumentative, paranoid, accepts no responsibility for anything, she is very vain, brags about her intelligence, and is one of the laziest people I've ever encountered. She cannot stay in any relationship more than a month or two due to the demands she makes, insisting that the world revolves around her at all times.
Because she insists that there is 'nothing that can be done for her' and she refuses to allow family to talk to her doctors (or even tell us who they ARE), we have had to take a step back and just let her be. Of course this has resulted in a high level of rage on her part (except when she wants one of us to do something for her), and she has told family friends that we are all 'out to get her' and that we 'want her money' etc when in fact she is in a vast amount of debt. We have talked to a social worker and have been advised that there is NOTHING WE CAN DO about her despite her increasingly bizarre behavior unless she harms herself or someone else.
So all that said, the best thing I can tell you is to let your husband be. And by that I mean leave him, go somewhere that you can be alone, self sufficient, without his interference and attitude. Do it now, 8 years isn't that long, but 60 years is forever. If he won't immediately get help you are under no obligation to try and help him yourself. You CAN'T help him yourself. I'm not being harsh, I'm being realistic. I was right where you are just a few months ago. Letting go of my sister was hard, but I can't help someone who does not want to be helped, and neither can you.

michelle
June, 3 2016 at 4:57 am

Um sorry that u have to go through that, but it is hard when u love someone that behaves that way. U tend to feel like if u don't help then you have turned your back on them when they need you the most. When a bipolar person does not want to hear you to me makes it difficult to continue on. It make sure feel like u have to walk around on egg shells to not upset them. When manic, a bipolar person has the inability to rationably think and may become violent. I know, I lived with it for 4 years. It's hard but that person has to realize that they need help. I will pray that u find balance.

jackie
April, 23 2016 at 2:44 am

My husband can't talk to me without getting HIGHLY upset expecially if it's admitted he's in the wrong or feels I should drop it cause he don't wanna talk. He will say his piece then tell me to shut up that I need to leave him alone an he don't wanna here my side. If I choose to continue he get so angry he starts throwing stuff pulling his Haor hitting his head an just plain tripping out. He snaps at the smallest of things. He has never been diagnosed with anything but his sudden mood changes makes me feel he may have bipolar but Idk enough about it an he won't see anyone. Says he's not the one that needs help. Can someone help me here. I'm so done an it's about to ruin an 8 year relationship. Thanks

Laurie
April, 15 2016 at 11:07 pm

My husband of going on 34 years was diagnosed with bi poplar 10 years into the marriage. He takes his medication regularly, but it seems his bi poplar has worsened most recently. He looks for things to find fault with me, the clothes I wear, etc. Once he gets started he doesn't stop, it just escaltes from there. My daughter tries to interfene, but that just makes it worse, he then starts to verbally act her as well, until we have to leave our home just to get away from him. When we get home we get the silent treatment for a day, but then it starts all over again. I have lived this way with him all through my marriage with his behaviour worse then this, punching, hitting me, throwing things at me, breaking things until I got an order if protection and then that abuse stopped, but now it's mainly verbal intimidation. I can't do this anymore, I tried to divorce him this past summer, I think that was his stresser, his rages have worsened since. But I know I can't keep living like this, he makes it so hard to be around him. I'm sick of being bullied, intimated, controlled and put flown all the time. I want out of this relationship, but the more likely express it the worse it gets. My blood pressure has gone up just from the stress, and can't sleep as well any more. Any advice to make this easier for me to cope?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Teresa
May, 10 2018 at 4:03 am

Hi, my heart just goes out to you. I know exactly what you are going through with your husband because it is what I have gone through with mine. Especially when you describe the criticism that won't stop. i hope you get to a point where you know what to do, I have faced the same nightmarish struggle. I love my bipolar husband and so I have taken abuse everyday. We are seperated now and I cry for him but I know logically that I can't go back to that. It will kill me, in fact he's so incredibly violent that he may kill me. I'll pray for you and your family.

Beata
April, 4 2016 at 4:44 am

I have bipolar I and I was very very angry all the time,Than I went to a therapy and started to feel much better-my anger was healed-or so I thought.Short after I started to take Resperidol and felt nothing for years.
Recently I was taken off the Resperidol and my feelings came back with that my anger.It is less but still flares up in a second and from nowhere.
Good luck to all the bipolars-we are a special bunch!

r
March, 26 2016 at 11:44 am

I finally mustered up the courage to call my mother after a 2 1/2 year estrangement. She sounded extremely happy to hear from me. The conversation was very upbeat and positive. After I got off the phone I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for the way I had treated her in the past. I'm so lucky to have a mother like her. Most mothers would have written me off a long time ago...

Hollis
March, 24 2016 at 9:33 pm

Dont tell you have STD or bipolar people are nuts if you need or want to say affective disorder

rebecca
March, 23 2016 at 6:23 am

Why is everyone bashing people with a mental illness. imagine what its like to live this this disorder and feeling like you are a prisoner in your own mind everyday.

David
March, 23 2016 at 6:05 am

JeffBaxter- My Mom is a Baptist preacher's daughter who recieved her bipolar diagnosis in 1976, back when it was called Manic Depression. She has never taken dope or so much as tasted a drop of alcohol in her life. She is not any more evil than any other person, myself included- and yourself especially included. She has many legitimate health issues, just like a lot of other people including Parkinsons and Bipolar. God is still very present in her life- he has provided her with some very good doctors, medicine, therapy etc. Bipolar is something that runs in her family- several family members have it, some seek hep and some don't. God is very real, regardless of whether or not people choose to acknowledge Him. satan is also very real, and you are correct when you say his time is short and he knows it. I would urge to read your Bible and study it, if you're already doing so - stay with it. But, please, please please do not consider yourself to be an expert on mental health unless and until you have taken the time to properly educate yourself on them. While there most certainly is evil in this world, there are also diseases and disorders which even Godly people get from time to time. God can and will heal all diseases - in His own way, on His timetable, for His glory. Sometimes the help he provides to some of His children comes in the form of counseling, and therapy and sometimes even medication. At the end of the day, its His choice not mine not yours. Think on these things, better yet- pray on them. Peace be with you.

Julie A. Fast
March, 23 2016 at 1:48 am

I regularly deal with rage issues, especially when I'm driving in traffic. I go from zero to boiling so quickly it can be hard to keep myself from yelling and screaming. My bipolar disorder is well managed, but triggered situations are still a big problem. I took a radical approach to my situation and decided to move from my city where the traffic and urban living stress were becoming too much. The difference is astonishing. Not driving, at least for now, has ended my rages. Bipolar disorder is a triggered illness. The more I can deal with my triggers, the better I can control this illness. Not everyone can make radical changes in order to get better, but if you can find the trigger of the rage- maybe it's a relationship, traffic, the place you live, problems with sleep or another situation where you feel out of control, the rage you feel can be managed.
Julie

T
March, 22 2016 at 10:30 pm

Natalie, my bf is the exact same way. I wonder if it's the same guy....lol. He had a really violent relationship with his ex. He gets mad at me and blocks me on his phone and Facebook for no reason. He gets upset if I just ask a simple question and blocks me. I asked him to get help. This last stint has lasted 2 months. He hasn't talked to me. He got into an accident and didn't even tell me. He made a bad choice that caused it. It's been really heart breaking.

Time Waits For No One
March, 22 2016 at 6:12 pm

The last time I talked with my mom was 2 years ago. It wasn't pretty. My half of the telephone conversation was peppered with alot of swearing (very uncharacteristic of me since I rarely ever swear) alot of screaming and nastly angry out bursts regarding past abuse I experienced as a child from her now deceased husband and past hurts that I were never validated, and some very insensitive personal attacks on her among other things. That was while I was on medication but still struggling to accept my diagnosis and shortly after I was released from an involuntary hospital admission. Understandingly she hung up on me. Later I felt horrible for having treated her so badly. I know she loved me and did the best she could given the circumstances.
My mother is getting old now. Recently my brother called me in hopes that I would make an effort to reconcile with her. I feel like crap about my past behaviour, especially since she sent me such a lovely card this week. I want to call her but I'm so worried that the conversation could turn ugly again. I miss her but I just don't trust myself. I'm so stressed out about this. I don't know what to do. My life has improved alot since our last conversation. But I fear stepping back into my old self again and being confronted about my past behaviour some of which was justified but most of which was not. I guess the only grown up thing to do is just call her, appologize and try to make peace with the past. It's gonna be hard but I don't want to wait until she's dead and kick myself for what I shoulda, could woulda done differently and let it haunt me for the rest of my days...

Lisa Teague
March, 22 2016 at 4:52 pm

I am suffering from rage too. I have been working with my dr to find the right combination of medications. It is frustrating I know. I isolate myself to keep others safe. I do tell the people closest to me what is going on with me. I also bought my family copies of Bipolar for Idiots. The wording is easy for them to understand. I am 56 and had a great job too, had to give that up due to anger issues. Be strong one second at a time

Jen
March, 22 2016 at 4:40 pm

I have bipolar type one also. I too struggle with anger issues whether it's part of a mania or part of a depression, both have occurred.
I found it helpful to have a conversation with people in my life early on where I describe some of my big symptoms, I apologize advance if they're the recipient of any of my rage (or any of my other symptoms). I let them know it just means that I've been triggered and then what I need from them at the moment (generally either i or they withdraw). And that no matter how it feels at the time, it's not about them, it's about a sick brain.

Charla Spies
March, 22 2016 at 2:54 pm

I have never posted before because most sites were outdated. I am coming out of a rage and what I really need is some support, so be it if it has to be online. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in 2014. I have been hospitalized three times since for suicidal thoughts. It was rage that brought me into the hospital the first time.
It ruined friendships and relationships with coworkers. Somehow, I was able to renter my normal life each time. Last year, I ran out of FML, was evicted from my apartment, lost my career of fifteen years, and had to leave my daughter. I moved in the parents. I will be forty. My esteem is in the toilet. I told off both of my parents. I have been on my own since 17. I have a BS in Biology. I actually used my degree and had a career I love.
Today, I am hopeless. I am on disability because my job came with great benefits. However, it is too little to live on in Denver and doesn't qualify me for low income housing here in Tennessee. Talk about culture shock. Another time, another rant.
Both of my parents confronted me just as I was making progress. I made a list for the day of responsibilities. I was in a groove. Visible. Not isolating. Not sleeping the day away. Actually showering... My parents are struggling in their relationship some of it is me. My step dad does not understand bipolar and does not care to. He is a narcissistic jerk. His house, his rules garbage.
I tried making myself invisible to him. There is enough room in the house. He works. But, he refuses to eat what I cook. I was cooking to help my mom. Good food too. She has a great kitchen and I like to cook. Nope. Chased out of the kitchen. Ok. I will help with chores. My mom feels guilty. So, it is this passive aggressive fight to get to do one before she does. So, the last three I have been in bed. I like my bed. Fine.
Today, she comes in demanding I get out and do things. Quit being so depressed. Sits at the edge of my bed and quietly asks if I am avoiding both of them. I explain that they both confronted me for being around when they talk( fight).
She gets sarcastic threatens to take something from me. I rage and all the frustration comes out. I feel good and bad. She asks why I am so angry. I want to yell that I have Bipolar moron!!!! I have been triggered and now I am confining myself to my room. I can't handle walking past them. Or inviting unwanted conversation. Why can't they go upstairs? I am sure it is my step dad just outside my door. Making a stand, ready to pounce.
Someone tell me something. I am struggling and not in my right mind.

Joel
March, 17 2016 at 10:17 pm

I can relate to so many of these posts. 16 years diagnosed bipolar, so many medications tried. And yet so many bipolar traits remain, all the medications do is knock the edges of them. Have anger issues they are dulled, suicidal, falling into that hole takes a few hours/days longer.
My issues with anger. The unbelievable internal conflict between knowing the way you should be acting and the way you are acting. And the whole post about knowing you are angry and wanting to protect others by just running away or disappearing until you have got yourself under contol, but then realizing you have to pick your daughter up or make dinner and the stress and mental torture that puts upon you - it makes thing 1000 times worse. I have bouts like right now where I need to run. I have just come from work where I have had to hold it together and turn my back on things that would normally never be allowed to happen. Legally I have been told to leave them alone. Others are involved and they are ruining what I normally control. I have known for the last two hours that I should not come home, and have considered all sorts of things I can do, from coming home and hiding in the bedroom, and then what? To jumping in the car and driving as far as I can until the bank account is empty. Then the whole be a responsible parent and husband kicks in and the torment continues. And it makes me hate myself.
And the whole = "is this thought good for me, is it helping?" the mindfulness, the living in the moment, there are times like now where as hard as I try it is all just a complete joke. I would take something to calm myself at the moment but have run out of the appropriate medications. Even prayer is not helping. I should sleep this off but it is too early and I have responsibilities tonight. Ugh. It's like living in a Jekyll and Hyde body and the other personality just watching on, knowing that you should not be angry, or depressed or mad this is not the way you want it to be.
And somehow through all of this. You are supposed to live. Meh.

Jon
February, 17 2016 at 9:53 am

Jeff Baxter: you've got to accept that there are instances where behaviors can be a part of a disease - in the old days, they believed things like epilepsy were signs of witchcraft.
While there are just plain bad people, there are good people who would not be bad if they were given the correct treatment. In these cases, you cannot say that their problem is not a disease.
Bipolar is a neurological disorder like epilepsy - if someone having a fit were to bump you involuntarily would you want them arrested?
Dan: you've got to get your wife treatment and be patient and try with utmost kindness to help her understand that she has a condition that can be managed and is not "crazy" - being thought of as this is something that stops most patients from wanting to admit they have an illness. Wishing you relief and hope all comes right.

SuperSamIII
February, 12 2016 at 8:30 am

I was diagnosed BP1 about 5 years ago. I have been on my meds religiously and rarely miss a dose. I think due to my upbringing my violence is bad but limited to certain situations.
Bullying will absolutely send me over the edge on 0.5 seconds. My family is scared of me when I get like this and my wife says she is worried that one day she will get a call telling her I am dead or going to jail. I worry about this same thing as well.
I have not seen any mention of this but part of my mania is hypersexuality. I have done alot of questionable things in my past and struggle still to this day. My wife knows my issues and helps me to not slip up and ruin our marriage.
As a black man, I feel one day I will be out and about in that mood, run into a cop and then end up the reason for some police officers family to have a 2 week paid vacation.
I am feeling pretty helpless lately and tired of the roller coaster. I am ready to get off. If it were not for my family I can swear on all that I am that I would have checked out already. Good luck to all and hope things get better for you.

Ken Kreisel
December, 8 2015 at 11:38 pm

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 recently. I got diagnosed because in my manic episodes I experience little euphoria. I am however extremely irritable and can explode with seething anger that has lasted for days. It turns me almost into a Mr.Hyde like persona, saying things I would never say, doing things I wouldn't do. It wouldn't be until hours/days passed that I came down and was able to see I had an episode of madness and left at the horrors of what I've done. I remember doing everything so it's not a disassociative disorder. These are against people I love so much I'd die for them. It's like the Imp Of The Perverse and explosive rage. I've tried to get someone dear to me fired for no reason, it took 3-4 days to finally come down and by then the damage was done, someone who talked me down from suicide. I had people warning me and trying to calm me down, it was like I was on a drug. Then again it happened to another boss, said things I wouldn't say, totally infuriated and uncompromising. It even happened when both my psychiatrist and therapist where in the same room, they where just left dumbfounded and shocked. Even now a family member will say something and I won't even feel the rage build, it will just burst from nowhere. It scares me and depresses me, because I never want to hurt anyone.

Graham
November, 2 2015 at 2:47 am

Barney, you are so on the money with your "I also think that bipolar people attract others that share the same traits". If people are honest with themselves, they will find that those that they are close with are Bipolar. Type 1's are the the ones that explode over nothing every other week and love wrecking things. What normal people think as a pimple, they will turn it into a mountain. People outside of the home think the person (with Type 1) is someone who would not hurt a fly, if only they knew that he or she was totally different behind closed doors in their home. Those with Type 2 and understand what is going on with their life should seek out those with the same or someone that understands and will guide them through life

Barney
May, 2 2015 at 5:34 pm

I suffer from what's called bipolar, and I take medication, meditate and try hard to look after myself. So I'm not really bipolar when I'm doing those things. I see bipolar as a state when I'm not looking after myself.
I also think that bipolar people attract others that share the same traits. My partner hasn't suffered a psychosis but gets really moody, angry and difficult.
I think it's an area that's still really unknown(mood disorders). I just know a mood stabiliser helps me. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm in a tricky relationship. Although I think I would feel quite down if I wasn't either.
It's the struggle of life. I honestly think that labels aren't helpful when dealing with the mind. I am me. Unique and wonderful. I benefit from mood stabilising medication, but I would never blame a condition for how I am.
Sounds confusing but I hate it when people use bipolar as an excuse or others blame it. I think everyone on this planet can be a bit 'bipolar' it's just for some it can.be a problem which affects their life and others.

Natalie
April, 21 2015 at 7:42 am

My boyfriend isn't diagnosed with bipolar, but he refuses to get treatment and doesn't believe in taking meds. His ex was bipolar and it was a crazy relationship and he is always saying she was the crazy one, but I believe he had something to do with it too! You ask him any question, and he will say who cares and it's none of my business and stop asking so many questions after just one normal question. His pattern is, if I don't stop asking a question, he slams the phone then blocks me so that if I call back, he will not pick up. The next day he is like sorry I said those things and just expects me to come running to him with open arms. I used to see a future with him, but now definitely not.

john
April, 9 2015 at 3:17 am

@Lisa I think my wife feels the same way. I AM BP2 and just recently back on my meds. I was just in a MANIC state not even 10 minutes ago. why do we take it out on the people who we love the most but no one else

Lisa
March, 24 2015 at 1:40 am

I would like to add to my previous post that my husband is one of the rare bipolar persons that does NOT miss his meds. I think it scares him to miss a dose even if by accident. He takes them in the morning and each evening when the alarm on my phone goes off as a reminder. So...what would he be like without meds is what is constantly in my mind. I'm afraid I might not be here to post anything if that ever happens.

Lisa
March, 24 2015 at 1:35 am

My husband has bipolar disorder and is currently in one of his anger episodes where he "hates the world and everything and everyone in it." Naturally, all is taken out on me. All I have to do is walk into the room and I catch him glaring at me in a way that sends chills through me. This is the same man that typically dotes over what a wonderful wife he has. Everything is my fault, including his behavior...after all, I MUST have done something to provoke his irrational anger and hateful remarks. I love him but I have found myself saying out loud when he can't hear me that "I can't take this any longer!" I find myself feeling such deep hatred for him when he's like this, then guilt because he's ill. In the end, I'm afraid it will be me that ends up the most ill of all. He literally has no family and no one left in his life...I'm it. So I guess I'm in this even if it kills me and I'm running out strength to kick into survival mode. Why is it he can control this around strangers most of the time, even being polite to others in public after he just dragged his wife through hell 30 seconds ago? This disease is from hell. Life is not supposed to be like this. I'm not so sure bipolar is all that's wrong with him. There's no way that opposite of personalities can live inside one person. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

Michele
March, 23 2015 at 11:58 am

My story is just like everyone elses- bf stopped taking meds, was depressed for months, then on our 4 yr anniversary broke up with me bc "he couldn't take the way I was treating him", I catered to him and tried to help yet he blamed everything on me just like everyone else and I never did a thing to him. He has started abusing drugs and now alcohol, got a motorcycle and goes to bars almost every night bc he is in his hyper mania phase- I don't this just is so disheartening....

Patricia
March, 21 2015 at 12:25 pm

Trinity, You life sounds just like mine- you are not alone.

Dan
March, 5 2015 at 8:48 pm

My wife stopped taking her antidepressant medication last July and since then has verbally abused me and has done extreme acts that supports bipolar disorder or personality disorder. She has filed false testimony to the courts and filed for divorce. We have a 2.5 and 4 year old. My wife has a history of chemical imbalance and at this time she is very angry and I don't understand what I did. She has been caught having strange bizarre online affairs and left the house saying "where I go us none of your business, grow some balls loser, I never loved you, you are one giant insecure loser " and the list goes on and on. I'm desperate to understand where this behavior of hers came from and she now smokes marijuana instead if taking her Celexa medication. She has hit me, sent naked photos of herself to strangers and purely says "just kill yourself".
My wife was a very loving person and all of a sudden she wants me eliminated out if her life as I never existed.
Please help me.

Trinity
February, 25 2015 at 5:43 am

My husband is Bipolar. He quit taking his meds almost 3 years ago. While on his meds we had a wonderful life which seemed perfect. No fighting or yelling. I am seeking help to ask what to do to find out how to get him to get back on the meds. Everything is always directed at me now, if I forget to do one thing that is asked of me, I am selfish, if someone calls my phone looking for him, that is suspicious, then of course there is the name calling and put downs. I am being cussed at regularly and told that I mess up everything he asks of me everyday. I left with our kids for a week to try to show him that things have got to change, it has been months since that has happened and it is used against me almost daily. We have our own business, house, and are very blessed but there are days or a week at a time that he won't go to work and he will blame it on me. Yelling, calling me names, breaking our doors and other things around the house. I know that he wouldn't ever physically hurt us but it is getting to be too much for me to handle. I have been with this man for about 20 years and never has it ever been this bad. He doesn't think he needs meds, he thinks how he now talks to me is acceptable. Everything he does is justified to him. I know that I am not perfect by any means but I feel like I am being bullied. How do you communicate with someone who is bipolar and doesn't see that they do need to be on their meds and do not see that their rage and their mental state is hurting everyone around them? I feel like I have exhausted everything that I can do. I was on the phone with family and he was yelling and calling me names and my family called the police because they were worried. He now believes that my family is horrible for doing that and that they were trying to put him away and keep him from his kids when it wasn't like that at all. My family loves him but just wanted him to stop shouting names at me and trying to degrade me. They heard it all and was trying to put a stop to it. It just made it all worse. I don't know what to do.

Skippy62
February, 11 2015 at 11:53 pm

JeffBaxter
You are an ignorant moron, and if you truly believed in God you would understand the word "Compassion" which I think you lack. You should never judge something or someone you don't understand. Perhapse you yourself are the devil....

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Lisa Button
August, 31 2018 at 12:28 am

Very sad comment.

Safuwrah Moss
January, 12 2015 at 5:26 pm

This is a.deadly disorder as.far as I'm concerned. I've been on a roller coaster with my girlfriend. But because I love her so know much I continue to make excuses for the behaviour. Everything is always make fault. My relationship is over now due to her psychotic episode of believing in her mind that I'm coming infidelity by just wanting to go out..painful, sad and hurt...I hate this disorder..

jeffbaxter
January, 6 2015 at 4:12 pm

Well I just love how we live in a society where wickedness and the love of Satan no longer exist. Only 'disorders' and money making schemes are left. That's right, instead of us being honest and saying that murderers, liars, spazzes, alcoholics, rapists and idolaters are people rejecting the goodness of God and turning to evil devices, we conveniently label them as "scytsophrenic" or "bipolar" and prescribe a 'drug' for their 'condition.' It is really sick and unfortunate but its true. We live in a world where people can lack remorse, have hatred in their hearts and just plain act out of sin- and get away with it!! Why? The drug industry profits billions of dollars each year doling out meds for these 'disorders', Satan is running out of time to do his thing and as mankind progresses, it comes up with worse and worse schemes to cover for evil, making the truth hard to distinguish from lies. The good news however is that God gave us all the ability to know Him and to have truth in our lives. Evil is a lack of understanding. An ignorance of what saves and a cleaving to what destroys. And it loves company. Anyone real out there, stay in the truth. I don't care what they call it- picking fights, arguing, bickering, breaking things and being angry is not 'bipolar disorder.' It's evil. Period.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Kathy armly
May, 18 2018 at 4:07 pm

YOU CERTAINLY HAVE NO IDEA, YOU NEED TO DO SOME RESEARCH ABOUT IT AND LEARN ABOUT IT AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESSES ! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GOD or Satan, you are not a doctor , yes there is evil people in this world and there are also MENTAL health illnesses in this world also ! XOXOXO

Lisa Button
August, 31 2018 at 12:45 am

The greatest trick the devil ever played on humanity, was to convince the sheeple that he didn't exist. Many are fooled into disbelief. The unseen world is not for everyone to understand. Faith is required for higher level consciousness (God consciousness). You can't see what is in plane sight? Put down the weed & wine, turn off the TV, read the Book, and see it all!

tara
October, 18 2014 at 4:37 pm

I have had bipolar since 20 years old I have been on meds the whole time I am 50 now and I am becoming aware of how fast my thoughts change,i can't watch tv I don't listen to the radio.i look happy in pic's all guys say I am beautiful not to many girls want to hang around me.i get vey depressed every holiday,i can't focus when a person speaks to me I look like I listen but my mind always is somewhere else.i was hospitiled for 3 months once,i have been hospitalized 3 times this year,winters I get very cold.i get lonely, I got really depressed once when my boyfriend of a year told me he did not want me anymore he said go on some web sight and find someone,he said he did not want a girlfriend at this time but if he wanted a girlfriend it would be me,i always look forword to his call,and think of him. I try to hide my depression from him, I am kind, I try to help poor people.but inside me something is gone, I never want to go back in a hospital again,i would just want to see my daughter.

Carrie
October, 1 2014 at 9:49 pm

My brother was diagnosed with bipolar about 10 years ago. He's been on various treatments but is currently not using any medication. According to him, he's managing it himself. Only it doesn't work. He doesn't use alcohol, sugar or caffeine since he knows it will trigger a moodswing. However, when he gets tired or overworked, it's almost as if he looks for trouble or gets paranoid and suspects people's motives in everything they do. Two days ago, he went through another episode where he threw bricks at me because he became totally p..-off about some remark. I cannot take this any more and while I have been there in the past as the shoulder he could cry on (sometimes literally). I need to step back for my own sanity. I've blocked him on my cell phone and will not have any contact with him again until he gets help. This is the first time I've ever done this and it's making me extremely sad. He is my brother and I love him, but I cannot do this anymore.
His actions are sending me into depression and is affecting my relationship with my husband (who is also trying to be cool about this). I need to start taking care of myself now. I cannot be responsible for his actions anymore.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Carol
November, 11 2018 at 4:48 am

I feel for you! I have been dealing with the same situation with my brother for over 25 years. He is disabled and lives with my 92 year old mother who is in the beginning stages of dementia. She is the worst enabler ever, constantly in denial about what is going on. I have been unsuccessfully trying to help them for 25 years. I took my mom to NAMI classes, paid for and sent her to a therapist, and have been trying to help my brother along the way. He is impossible. He has horrible anger issues and is abusive to mom. He has been arrested and in and out of psych hospitals numerous times. Like you, I have had to cut ties with him many times for my own sanity. I can't offer much help, but I do know you must save yourself. I love this saying, which has helped me a lot lately. "Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." Good luck!

kamalena
September, 6 2014 at 8:52 pm

Hi Steffy,
It's exactly the same my partner goes through. He's been diagnosed with depression (!), but I strongly believe it's bipolar. I noticed that antidepressants actually make him worse. Every time his doctor increase dose episodes of rage gets worse and happen more often. I stopped asking why it happens. Just looking for some suggestions how to help him. I'm gonna take him to doctors this week and force them to rethink his diagnose. Hope you have someone who supports you. Remember it's not YOU when rage comes but your ILNESS.
Stay strong.

Steffy
August, 20 2014 at 5:55 pm

I am presumed to be a type of bipolar which type the doctors can't seem to make up their minds. My chief complaint is periods lasting about 2 weeks of indifference, sudden and unexplainable tears and sadness, hopeless, sleeping or wanting to sleep excessively as well as but no at the same time sleeplessness, irritability/anger, aloofness, racing thoughts, easily distracted, elated to I've been started on Lithium months back and at the beginning things were good. But slowly but surely some of them came back and the one that scares me the most is my irritability and anger.
I have episodes in where I just snap or switch like a light blub. It is quick and appears to be random and prior to it I am trying to control myself trying to breathe but then a switch. I morph into someone that just wants to emotionally scar the other person and starts destroying everything around me while waiting for the person in the situation to do something towards me so I can justify physical harm. I know what I am doing I just don't feel anything. Like judgment went out the window along with compassion. I am me but not me and I feel such a rush and during these episodes I am laughing and mocking the other person. During these episodes I feel like I am on top of the world no one can touch me and if they did I would easily destroy them. These episodes can last hours.
I have yet to meet a doctor to tell me why this happens. I have been told that bipolar suffers typically have episodes this way. I know this can't be because I've read plenty of story of which something similar like this happens.

Alicia
July, 30 2014 at 6:00 am

I have been diagnosed bipolar II and I have extreme downs that when I'm up and have all these good feelings of accomplishing so many things and when I start slipping down I get angry that none of the things I wanted to do have been accomplished. Then I start complaining and my body hurts so then I get angry and whoever is around will be the target of my anger which of course is the person I love. It's sad because I've ruined many relationships. I guess the best thing is to live alone and work out my problems with a therapist.

Dianne
July, 14 2014 at 10:08 am

Jessica, I speak from experience when I say you need to get yourself and kids away from your boyfriend asap before someone gets hurt. He has verbally threatened you and that is illegal. In my experience, when the police came, he just denied the whole episode and he was more angry that I'd called the police. The very best thing you can do is leave. I know that's not always easy, but please focus on finding a place to go with your children. My life was destroyed by my husband's bipolar anger because I didn't get out soon enough. Good luck to you.

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