What Are You, Bipolar? Mental Illness as a Weapon - Video
I've discussed how I like to use the word "crazy" and don't find it derogatory. Us crazies, we have to stick together, I might say. I've also said that people can use any word to hurt you. Don't tell me you're a secretary.
But some people use a mental illness diagnosis as a weapon. Some people insult and abuse with the facts of illness and treatment.
Verbal Abuse and Insults About Bipolar Disorder
EVERY time my husband and I have a disagreement or argument, he starts calling me, “Bipolar”, and saying things like, “Have you taken your medication today”? Or “Have you stopped taking your medication?” In other words, this is the reason, (and only reason) that we have any kind of disagreement, or argument. Everything that I say, or do, that is not something he agrees with, he starts saying hurtful things like that. He calls me “Bipolar” every time he gets angry with me.
I don't generally like to use words like abuse, but to me, that's verbal abuse plain and simple. Just as if he were using his fists, he's hitting Linda with words he know will hurt her. This is never acceptable.
Using Mental Illness as a Weapon Video
More on Verbal Abuse
For more, check out Verbal Abuse in Relationships, a blog by Kellie Holly here at HealthyPlace.
No one deserves to have their mental illness used against them.
Tracy, N. (2011, June 29). What Are You, Bipolar? Mental Illness as a Weapon - Video, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, June 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2011/06/what-are-you-bipolar-mental-illness-as-a-weapon-video
Author: Natasha Tracy
I am schizophrenic. My boyfriend insists on being verbally abusive about it. My mother has the same disease and I often call her for advice or help amidst psychosis and such. I have been finding new outlets and trying to come into a new person. My boyfriend on the other hand insists on throwing words in my face consistently like “delusional” “lunatic” “crazy b****/c***” telling me I belong in a straight jacket or psych ward or on medication or continually tells me “you need help.” I’m working on getting help, he does the opposite of helping. When someone nitpicks and nitpicks at you during or during a buildup to an episode, they worsen exponentially. I hit a point of panic attacks. Screaming crying begging to be left alone, eventually the consistent sound of his loud voice makes me want to hurt myself, I completely spiral. He torments me and won’t stop, I will be on the ground tearing my hair out screaming and crying, and He. Won’t. Stop. He’s broken my hair appliances, slammed me onto the nape of my neck nearly paralyzing me. He said it was my fault as I came at him first and due to my illness I blacked out therefore I don’t remember how I provoked every single fight... please help me
I'm so sorry you're in that situation. It's without-a-doubt abusive. You need to get help to get out of that relationship.
I highly recommend you look at our resources and hotlines page here: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources
Specifically, please call these people: National Domestic Violence Hotline -- 800-799-7233
Also, we have a blog on verbal abuse and it talks about some of the issues you are facing. You can find it here: https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships
Please get away from this person. You don't deserve that pain.
- Natasha Tracy
But how am I supposed to prevent it? Control yes, but prevent it"? Impossible.
You can and must do better! He is absolutely verbally abusive towards you, regardless of whether he knows what he's doing. I would demand that he see a therapist with you. An outside 3rd party perspective might finally shed some light on his awful treatment. If he won't listen to you, maybe he'll listen to a seasoned professional.
"Why is it necessary to always tell people you have a mentally ill wife? Am I not more than that? My sister thinks so!"
And so, as far as I know, he has made efforts to change that.
But, there are also times when I am asked "Are you OKAY?" (and we both know what he means by that). Being identified by one's illness is not okay!!!
As I emphasize to people: Bipolar is what I HAVE, not who I am!!!
While it may be true people will try to use your perceived faults against you, that isn't acceptable behavior and not something anyone should just live with. The case above is abuse. It's not OK to sit there and take it just because someone is horrible enough to do it.
My skin is pretty darn thick, but then I don't have an unacknowledging, hurtful, abusive husband trying to make me feel bad about myself.