• advertisement

Our Mental Health Blogs

Introduction to Emily Sullivan, Author of ‘Verbal Abuse in Relationships’

Introduction to Emily Sullivan, Author of ‘Verbal Abuse in Relationships’

Emily Sullivan, author of "Verbal Abuse in Relationships" talks about her experiences with verbal abusers, narcissists and others. Learn more about Emily here.My name is Emily J. Sullivan and I’m thrilled to join the HealthyPlace blogging team as the newest author of the Verbal Abuse in Relationships blog. My earliest friendships and my first dating experiences were rampant with dysfunction. Con men, mean girls, gaslighters, and narcissists have always found their way into my heart. I’m not sure if it’s because I could always see the good in people or if I was an easy target. Whatever the reason, I spent years of my life in relationships and friendships with people who have been able to emotionally overpower me with verbal abuse. Verbal abuse can mentally cripple a person, diminish their self-worth, and alienate them from the loving relationships in their lives.

Continue reading

After Verbal Abuse: Is Left-Over Fear Anxiety or Instinct?

After Verbal Abuse: Is Left-Over Fear Anxiety or Instinct?

After verbal abuse, anxiety tends to overshadow our instincts. How can we learn to trust ourselves after verbal abuse when we can't tell the difference?

After verbal abuse, my mental health didn’t automatically return to normal. The first year after my verbally abusive relationship ended was tough. Not only did I struggle with the after-effects of verbal abuse — namely anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem — I also met someone new (let’s call him A) and fell in love all over again. A was everything I had ever wanted in a partner and my instincts were telling me “he’s the one” from the day we met. So why couldn’t I let myself be happy? With my verbal abuser firmly out of the picture, why was I still plagued with anxiety? Mental health problems may follow us long after verbal abuse ends.

Continue reading

What Are the Signs Your Verbal Abuser Is a Narcissist?

What Are the Signs Your Verbal Abuser Is a Narcissist?

Are all verbal abusers narcissists? Knowing if your verbal abuser is a narcissist may aid your recovery from abuse. Here's how it helps and what to look for.

If your verbal abuser is a narcissist, what are the signs? As we know, it’s important to spot the signs of verbal abuse early on in a relationship. However, recognizing the issue is only part of the process; gaining insight into your verbally abusive relationship can be the start of the emotional healing process, but how do you begin to understand it? There are many complex reasons why verbal abuse happens, but personality disorders are among the most common. Realizing you’re in a verbally abusive relationship with a narcissist can be a real light-bulb moment, so what are the signs?

Continue reading

How It Feels When Your Verbal Abuser Is a Nice Guy

How It Feels When Your Verbal Abuser Is a Nice Guy

It's almost impossible for others to comprehend that Mr. Nice Guy could be your abuser. How could someone so charming be abusive? But in fact, it's common.Here’s how it feels when people tell you that your verbally abusive ex-boyfriend is a “nice guy.” At first, it makes you doubt yourself, as if you could have made the whole thing up or that you must be overreacting. It feels as though the whole world is reinforcing the idea that well-established, charismatic men cannot possibly be held accountable for abuse. It’s frustrating and maddening that no one is willing to recognize the pain he inflicted on you. You cry, shout, and doubt yourself some more. But then you stop being angry. You stop expecting others to understand. Instead, you nod and smile and make peace with what you know to be true. And here’s to deal with it when your verbal abuser is a nice guy.

Continue reading

Ending Verbal Abuse: Five Steps to Take

Ending Verbal Abuse: Five Steps to Take

Ending verbal abuse isn't easy. Verbal abuse leads to long-term emotional damage, but how do we end the cycle? Here are five ideas on ending verbal abuse.

So, you’ve spotted the signs of verbal abuse in your relationship and you want to end the verbal abuse. You know that blaming, shaming, threatening and name-calling does not equate to a happy or healthy partnership. You realize that maybe — just maybe — you deserve better. So how do you make it stop? Is ending verbal abuse possible?

Continue reading

Can You Save Your Abuser’s New Girlfriend From Abuse?

Can You Save Your Abuser’s New Girlfriend From Abuse?

Is it your job to warn your abuser's new girlfriend of his abuse? If so, is there a way of protecting her without compromising your own safety? Read this.

One of the questions many abuse victims will ask themselves is, “Is it my job to warn my abuser’s new girlfriend of his behavior?” And I must admit, this has stumped me every time it’s been brought up in the comments section of a Verbal Abuse in Relationships blog post. When my abusive boyfriend broke up with me, I swiftly deleted him from all of my social media accounts. We also lived in different cities, so when he did meet someone else I didn’t know about it until months afterward. But when the inevitable photos of him with other women found their way into my news feed, I couldn’t help wondering if it was my job to warn my abuser’s new girlfriend of what he was capable of.

Continue reading

The Invisible Line Between Verbal and Physical Abuse

The Invisible Line Between Verbal and Physical Abuse

When it comes to verbal and physical abuse, can words hurt us the same as a fist? Sticks and stones . . . are broken bones worse than a broken soul?

The distinction between verbal and physical abuse is something I have questioned ever since my abusive relationship ended. My ex-partner shoved me, pushed me, kicked me and forced me out of his way when we argued. He raised his fist and made threats, but never actually hit me. Does this mean I was verbally, physically abused or both? I think the answer depends on where we, as individuals, draw the line.

Continue reading

Easy Targets for Verbal Abuse: Why Me?

Easy Targets for Verbal Abuse: Why Me?

Are some people easy targets for verbal abuse? When I look back at my 20-year-old self, I see an easy target for abuse. Knowing that can protect me. Here's why.Could you be an easy target for verbal abuse? Or have you ever wondered why you were verbally abused in a relationship? By that, I don’t just mean why your partner was abusive, but more specifically why he picked you as his target. The general consensus seems to be that anyone can fall prey to an abuser, but is that really the case, or are some people more susceptible to emotional abuse and manipulation than others? Are some of us easy targets for verbal abuse?

Continue reading

Why Does Verbal Abuse Happen? What Makes a Person Abusive?

Why Does Verbal Abuse Happen? What Makes a Person Abusive?

 

To understand why verbal abuse happens, we must question some uncomfortable assumptions. We have to look at both abuser and victim. Why do people abuse others?

When I first realized I’d been in a verbally abusive relationship, I asked myself, “Why me?” and “Why does verbal abuse happen?” but there were no straightforward answers to these questions. The articles I read online echoed the reassurances of those close to me — that the abuse wasn’t about me, it was about my ex. “If it hadn’t been you it would’ve been somebody else,” I kept hearing, doubting if this was really the case. Years later, I still find myself wondering whether the abuse was entirely his fault or if I could have done more to prevent it. I still wonder why verbal abuse happened.

Continue reading

When Verbal Abuse Is Disguised as a Joke

When Verbal Abuse Is Disguised as a Joke

Abusers disguise verbal abuse as jokes, but even if the joke makes the abuser (and others) laugh, it's not funny. You're not too sensitive. It's verbal abuse.

How can you recognize verbal abuse disguised as a joke? Here’s the thing: a loving partner will never call you ugly or stupid, even as a joke. A respectful husband or wife won’t ever deliberately put you down in front of other people for a laugh. That’s because it’s not funny, it’s verbal abuse thinly disguised as a joke.

Continue reading


Follow Us

Subscribe to Blog

  • advertisement

in Verbal Abuse in Relationships Comments

Mental Health Newsletter

Sign up for the HealthyPlace mental health newsletter for latest news, articles, events.

Mental Health
Newsletter Subscribe Now!

Mental Health Newsletter

Sign up for the HealthyPlace mental health newsletter for latest news, articles, events.

Log in

Login to your account

Username *
Password *
Remember Me