When I first realized I’d been in a verbally abusive relationship, I asked myself, “Why me?” and “Why does verbal abuse happen?” but there were no straightforward answers to these questions. The articles I read online echoed the reassurances of those close to me — that the abuse wasn’t about me, it was about my ex. “If it hadn’t been you it would’ve been somebody else,” I kept hearing, doubting if this was really the case. Years later, I still find myself wondering whether the abuse was entirely his fault or if I could have done more to prevent it. I still wonder why verbal abuse happened.