Do Self-Harm Scars Ever Go Away?

Hi Emilea,
Thanks for your comment. I'm glad to hear you're working on healing! Before I answer your question, a reminder—I am not a doctor or licensed medical professional. So the first thing I would urge you to do, if you're worried about your scars, is to ask your doctor (ideally, a dermatologist) for input, as they will know more than I do and will know your specific situation better than I can.
However, if they are fading already, and especially if they seem like they are still in the process of fading, it's possible that they may go away entirely after a while, though it may take some time yet. The best thing you can do to urge the process along is to take very good care of your skin, especially in the area where your scars are, and to take good care of yourself in general. The healthier your body is, the easier a time it has healing.
Keep in mind, though, that the extent to which they will fade depends somewhat on several factors that are now out of your control--things like how deep the wounds originally were and how efficient your body is at healing in general. Every person is different, so it's hard to give a definite answer, and next to impossible to pinpoint a specific timeline. So for now, do what you can to help your body recover and see how it goes.
If, in the end, your scars don't fade entirely, don't panic! There are ways to cover them, should you need to, and even some options for removing them if you feel that is truly necessary. Here are some more posts on this topic that you might want to check out:
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2022/3/hiding-self-harm-sca…
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2022/1/is-self-harm-scar-re…
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/7/self-harm-scar-cover…
I hope that helps! If you have more questions/concerns, feel free to voice them here or elsewhere on the blog anytime. I'll be reading. :)
Take care,
Kim

Hi Salem,
First, before I answer, keep in mind that I am not a doctor, and that everybody's body is a little different, so I can't give you an exact estimate. However, if you've had that scar for this long and it hasn't faded much (or at all), I would guess that it is going to be there for a long time. Depending on a variety of factors I don't know, it may fade sooner or later, or it may remain fairly prominent—if you're worried about it, I'd suggest reaching out to a dermatologist if you can, as they would be able to look at your scar in person and make a much better judgment call than I could.
In my case, because I am fair and my skin is sensitive, most of my scars have stayed with me. My self-harm scars are more than a decade old, and very hard to see now, but they are still there. My heart surgery scars, meanwhile, are much more prominent but also a bit more recent—just over seven years old—and are just starting to really fade.
If you're distressed about your scars, you might want to reach out to someone to talk about your options—either your primary care doctor, or perhaps a therapist or counselor. Some people opt to try and remove them, or cover them with tattoos/makeup/etc, while others (like me) have kept them but learned over time to accept them. None of these paths is intrinsically better than the others; it's up to you to decide what's best for you.
If you have more questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to comment again elsewhere on the blog or reply here. I'll be reading!
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Nicolas,
It's a little hard to tell what order your comments are in (and if you deleted any along the way; not sure if that's possible or not), so I want to respond anyway just in case you still need help, although I hope you did figure things out and that your arm is already healing.
If you haven't already, please consider talking with your doctor, as they'll know your body better than I do (everyone's healing process looks a little different) and will be able to give more specific advice. But in general, be sure to keep it clean, don't pick at the scab, and just generally take the best care of the skin there that you can. General self-care is good too—the better you take care of yourself in general, the more easily your body will be able to heal itself. This page may also have some helpful info, if you haven't come across it already:
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-prevent-scarring/
Thank you for reaching out anyway, whether you wound up needing my help or not. It's a good instinct to ask for help if you think you need it, even if you do end up figuring out the answer on your own. I hope you continue to reach out whenever you need to, whether here on the blog or elsewhere.
Take care!
Sincerely,
Kim

Plzzzz tell me how coz my scar is still completely visible even after 2 years

Hi Reia,
Everybody's body is a little bit different, so I can't give you an exact quote, unfortunately. (Also, keep in mind that I'm not a doctor.) But in my experience, scars can take a pretty long time to heal—and some of mine have never completely gone away. But they do often fade, sometimes to the point where other people won't really notice them.
There are some things you can try that may or may not help, but won't hurt. If you haven't been doing so already, make sure to keep the area clean and avoid damaging the skin there further—do your best not to pick at the scabs. If your wounds are open or raw at all, over-the-counter treatments like Neosporin and the like (anything that says it's for wound care) might help. If it's closed up (and stays that way), aloe gel *might* help the skin heal a bit faster and the scar tissue to fade. Here's some more info from Cleveland Clinic about preventing scarring:
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-prevent-scarring/
Just don't overdo it—if you're constantly worrying it or putting too many medications on it at once, this could hinder, rather than help, the healing process. If you're very worried about scarring, I'd also suggest contacting a dermatologist if you can, as they might know some tips or be able to prescribe something that will help, too.
Hope that helps!
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Jackie,
Thanks for your comment. What you're going through sounds incredibly difficult, and I can imagine it's quite tempting to relapse and keep going back to something that may have brought you relief, even if only temporarily, in the past. Know that this is a normal, if terrible, truth about recovery—it's going to be difficult to resist relapse at first. Know that if you do relapse (or if you already have), it is nothing to feel ashamed about, though I know that is easier said than done. While obviously it is best to avoid relapsing, it is not uncommon and more importantly, it does NOT mean you have to give up on ever recovering.
First, I know this might be an obvious suggestion, but it's one that always bear repeating. Please, if you can, reach out to a therapist, counselor, or even your regular doctor if you can. Someone with extensive training and knowledge (far beyond anything I can offer) may be able to help you identify your triggers AND what to do about them in as safe and effective a way as possible. If you don't have someone like that yet and aren't sure who to reach out to, consider calling up a hotline—you don't have to be in an immediate crisis situation to ask for help. See this page for some resources to start with:
https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
If that absolutely is out of the question right now, do you have anyone you know personally that you can lean on for support? I know talking about this is scary, and if you're not ready to disclose your history of self-harm with anyone in your life right now, you don't have to. But speaking from personal experience, recovery is a hard road to walk alone. It CAN be done, at least for a time, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to do it alone. If you don't know someone you can talk to, maybe try a support group? You don't even have to go in person—there are online ones nowadays that can help.
As for what you can do on your own... I'm not a medical professional, so I'm afraid I can't prescribe a particular course of action, but what helped me the most when I was going through it alone included the following:
- Journaling my feelings, both to get them out and to put them into perspective by challenging whether my negative thoughts were really based in reality
(see here: https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/8/how-a-self-harm-reco…)
- Listening to music that made me feel good, or at least better
- Really thinking about WHY I wanted to get better, and holding onto that thought whenever I felt tempted to relapse
- Urge surfing (see here: https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/2/using-self-harm-urge…)
- Exercise, even just light stretching or yoga
- Improving my diet -- it's not like I don't still eat junk food, but even just making sure to include fruits/veggies and adequate protein every day makes a HUGE difference
There's probably more; that's just off the top of my head. If you feel up to it, you could even try a workbook like I eventually did, or just reading some books that will offer some tips and help you stay motivated: https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/9/finding-self-harm-he…
I hope that helps. If you have any questions, comments, or just want to keep talking, feel free to reply here and I'll respond as soon as I can.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Megan,
Apologies for the delayed response. It is wonderful that you are working to keep clean of self-harm, but it's also completely understandable to still have to wrestle with these urges from time to time, especially during periods of increased stress. We've got a few posts here on the blog that you might find helpful with regards to coping with urges and preventing relapse. Here are a few about some specific coping techniques you can try:
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/10/emotional-regulatio…
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/8/tips-for-creating-a-…
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/5/using-cbt-for-self-h…
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/2/using-self-harm-urge…
And here are a few about scars, specifically:
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/9/self-harm-scars-in-t…
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2021/7/addressing-self-harm…
In your case, since it sounds like the tactile experience of feeling your scars felt soothing to you, I would also suggest looking into physical distractions—for example, I know a lot of people have found fidget toys very helpful in coping with urges like the ones you're describing. And if you feel overwhelmed, if you can, please try to reach out to a therapist or counselor (if you haven't already). That additional support can be SO helpful in navigating difficult moments in the road of recovery like the one you're experiencing now.
I hope that helps! Please feel free to reply here or comment elsewhere on the blog if you have more questions or need more clarity on any particular point.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Katrell,
Thank you for your question! I can understand how that might be triggering; it's perfectly normal to grieve over losing something, especially if that something is a part of you. I can think of a few things that might be worth a try―but keep in mind that I am not a therapist, myself, and it might be worth talking to one about this if these options don't work for you, or if you have any other triggers that might be exacerbating the issue.
Anywho... my first thought is that you might try and keep a photo diary for yourself? Maybe take some pictures of your scars; you can even print and paste them into a journal, where you can write about why they're important to you and other things that will help you with the healing process. (Or, you can draw them or make other art based on your scars and your journey.)
This is a bigger decision, not one to take lightly, but I also know that tattoos have been helpful for many people. Often, they're used to hide old scars, but in your case maybe a tattoo that pays homage to your past (as well as hope for your future) can act as a stand-in for your scars as they fade; the tattoo won't (or at least shouldn't!) fade anytime soon. However, definitely give this one plenty of thought before you go through with it, for obvious reasons.
I think the most helpful thing, though, might be to find a way to let go. I know that isn't easy, and may not be what you wanted to hear, but it's natural for your scars to fade--it's all a part of the healing process. You can treat it as you would any other loss--you can create a "farewell" ritual, similar to a funeral, to cope with the loss of your scars, and/or use other long-term coping mechanisms (such as writing or creating art to work through your feelings, or using mindfulness exercises to get through moments when the loss of your scars begins to trigger you).
I hope these suggestions help; if you have any questions or other concerns you'd like to discuss, don't hesitate to reply here or comment elsewhere on the blog. I'll be reading. :)
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Otis,
It's definitely challenging when your own scars may be triggering you. The first thing I want to suggest, at the risk of being obvious, is to try and work with a therapist to resolve this issue. I cannot overstate the value of finding a mental health professional who can help you find healthy ways to cope that work specifically for you and your situation.
Another idea that springs to mind is to consider whether you might want to have your scars removed (by medical professionals) or perhaps cover them with tattoos. This might help reduce the impact of looking at them, although ultimately I think it will also be important that you find some more coping techniques to add to your repertoire as well. Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques can help address the thought patterns that may be leading you to want to relapse, while mindfulness techniques might help reduce the impact of seeing your scars (along with other triggers that may be at work here).
On a more personal note, as someone who still has to fend off certain thoughts and emotions related to self-harm from time to time, I find it helpful to also stop and really think about how far I've come—focusing on how many years it's been since I self-harmed, and how proud I am of my progress, can help me maintain control. Some serious stress-relieving self-care (long baths, going for a walk, exercising, reading your favorite book—whatever works for you) can also have more an impact than you might think.
I hope this helps. If you have any questions or need more ideas, feel free to ask.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi Chloe,
A lot of my inspiration comes from thinking about what things I wish someone had said to ME, back when I was actively self-harming. Which means I shed a few tears myself, writing posts like this. But they're good tears; they're healing tears. :)
So thank you so much for your comment! It helps me to know that I can help, even in a small way.
Sincerely,
Kim

Do the scars make her want to relapse, or remind her of the situation when she made them originally? Either way, it would be important to empathize with her, and she's lucky in this case that she has a friend who cares about how she's feeling. You may have already unintentionally, and it can be tough in this situation especially if you don't/haven't self harmed (use caution - if you haven't self harmed, saying something like "it's okay, everyone has scars" probably won't be helpful) First and foremost, it's important to listen, reflect her emotions, paraphrase a little, before offering suggestions. She may not even wish for suggestions, just for someone to listen and understand.
If she does ask for suggestions and she's thinking of relapsing, encourage her to talk to a therapist, ask if she has reasons she may not want to (dizziness, her parents or future partner), and encourage her that she is strong and brave for going through this battle. People also self harm for different reasons. Some do it out of anger, sadness, I personally do it as a means to escape my situation (which may be more universal, I'm not sure). Beating up a pillow isn't really a good alternative for me, then. You can probably find alternatives to self harm online, but keep in mind the emotion behind it - for someone who wants to escape emotions that seem unescapable, finding activities can seem impossible, but perhaps something that she can quickly and intensely focus on - like watching an engaging movie or drawing a detailed drawing. Even just talking or being with her could really help. My therapist keeps talking about "stimulating the vagus nerve" and I'm still not really sure what that means, but maybe it would help her.
If it's the original situation that she's reminded of... again, just listen. Show you've heard her, that she's not a monster for having gone through these things, and that she didn't deserve it. With this instance particularly (and all the others), you're not her therapist, you're her friend. And yes, they do overlap a little. You want to be there for your friend, and to help her. But if you feel lost, if she only comes to you for help, or if you're getting worn out, there's NO shame in suggesting she talk to a therapist, and be honest that you care about her but you don't know how to help. I make all of these suggestions because I've both self harmed myself and I'm studying to be a therapist. And playing the role of therapist to a friend can be draining - be there for her and talk to her, but if it gets to be too much, reach out to someone.
Anyway, there's also the question of if she is upset about seeing them just from her perspective, or worried about other people seeing them/what they would say? (or maybe both?) If the scars are old, it may be easier to let others see them by explaining that she's not going to self harm anymore. If not, it can be harder. I haven't personally experienced letting those I'm close to see my scars, because I know their heart would break. Frankly, though, if I did, I wouldn't have to worry about hiding them constantly, and it would probably be a good motivation not to relapse. Also, you know about her scars and talks to you about it, which means that she trusts you a lot. Good for you :). People can have a range of reactions to other people's scars, from fear, anger, sadness, confusion, and patronization. If she's really concerned about others seeing them, maybe she can use makeup, bandaids, or clothing. They will fade with time.
If you have any more specific questions or want to talk more about it, I hopefully should get some sort of notification.