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A Verbal Abuse Quiz You Want To Take, Just To Be Sure

March 30, 2015 Kellie Jo Holly

A verbal abuse quiz can do a lot of things. It can help you determine if you suffer from verbal abuse. It can change your mind about what verbal abuse is and is not. A verbal abuse quiz can even show you that (eek!) you abuse other people. But a quiz cannot make you be honest. So if you are not ready to take an honest look at your situation, then don't bother with this verbal abuse quiz. It can't help you if you lie.

A Verbal Abuse Quiz Challenge For You

People love quizzes so much that we'll take a quiz to find out what kind of cat we would be, answering the questions quickly with complete confidence. No panicking, no over-thinking, no trying to please someone else. But when it comes to the serious stuff, like a verbal abuse quiz, we might semi-consciously skew the results by answering dishonestly. We might say we don't have the symptoms of verbal abuse, when in fact, we do.

Don't feel bad. We come by our dishonest answers honestly. We lie or fudge the truth because we want the answer to reflect what we want to know, not what we suspect to be true. After all, who wants to be an abuse victim? Who wants to find out someone we love abuses us? No one. So we give the benefit of the doubt to someone else - the one doing the abusing - instead of to ourselves and our feelings.

Take this verbal abuse quiz without thinking too much and find out if your relationship problems are really abuse problems.I challenge you to take this verbal abuse quiz with the same honesty as you would take a silly cat quiz. Don't over think your answers. Don't make excuses for the someone you suspect abuses you. Don't answer the questions with the answers someone else would like to hear. Take this abuse quiz as if you were trying to determine what kind of cat you would be instead of whether or not you are an abuse victim.

The Verbal Abuse Quiz

Going forward, the word someone implies one person in your life. Get that particular someone in mind before taking this verbal abuse quiz.

  1. Do you ever laugh at jokes about you that actually make you want to cry or fight? Do you hear jokes that hurt you in front of other people who laugh at the joke? Do you hear someone routinely say something like, "It's only a joke, honey" and then understand that statement as their hint to say no more?
  2. Do you feel your pulse beating faster when someone throws a temper tantrum? Do you forget what was so important about the conversation because someone's angry behavior derailed you from your point? Can you predict with great accuracy when someone is about to explode in a fearsome rage? Do you change your tact to avoid someone's temper?
  3. When someone accuses you of wrongdoing, do you automatically defend yourself no matter how silly the accusation? When someone blames you for the outcome of some event, do you feel compelled to defend or explain why it's not your fault? Or apologize even though you can't pinpoint why you feel the urge to apologize?
  4. Do you intend to have a conversation on one topic in particular, then discover later that you did not accomplish your goal? Do you find yourself saying, "Yes, but..." during conversations but never get your words in edgewise?
  5. Do you ever feel frustrated because someone immediately expresses a sentiment or observation opposite of the one you're trying to express? Have you felt frustrated because you know someone said one thing but they insist they said another?
  6. Have you ever felt frustrated because someone tends to forget things that are important to you like appointments, parties with your friends, or plans you made with them just yesterday?

Verbal Abuse Quiz Results

I know you took this verbal abuse quiz because you think your loved one abuses you. I know you are hoping they do not. I hope your answers to the verbal abuse quiz questions above were all "No."

If you answered "Yes" to any of the questions presented above, then you are a victim of Someone's verbal abuse.

Any quiz results are only as good as what you do with them. Take the first step now and become educated about verbal abuse. Check out some in-depth verbal abuse information articles or try the Abuse Screening Test for Women.

APA Reference
Holly, K. (2015, March 30). A Verbal Abuse Quiz You Want To Take, Just To Be Sure, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, July 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2015/03/verbal-abuse-quiz



Author: Kellie Jo Holly

Anonymous
says:
June, 17 2019 at 1:17 pm
My dad was good to my mom, but after they got married he started getting anger issues. I started noticing it the first time that he actually yelled at my mom and blamed her for everything possible outside for like a full 40 minutes. We even heard him banging on the wall and shoving things. I have to say this: he did not physically hurt my mom but we all were scared that he would. He saw that my mom was crying and got angrier so he yelled louder. My siblings and I were all inside crying and praying that she was okay. I looked out the door window and watched a little bit and, my mom was crying and too scared to defend herself. When my dad was done, he walked in the house and saw me near the door and said,"You were listening weren't you?" I didn't answer right away so he got mad and repeated himself until I said yes. Then he left the house without telling us where he was going and came back hours later. He never apologized when he came back. He acted like everything was fine, but he ignored us. That was when I was like 8 years old, and it is the worst it has gotten, but he yells all the time now and I can't defend myself when he yells at me because I know that he will just get worse and I get scared. I even have to hold back tears a lot. I am older now and I want this to stop, but since I am not much older there is nothing I can do except be there for my family. I feel like he doesn't even care for us when he yells. I have never told anyone this, and this is only part of what he is like, but I was wondering if this counts as verbal abuse? Can someone please reply? I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me if it is abuse or not. Thank you.
Anonymous
says:
June, 8 2019 at 7:05 pm
hey I am 17. I have been verbally abused before, when I was 13. The worst was when my mother said exactly, “your mother would die one day because of you”. She said stuff like these quite violently and I cried quite a lot because I felt so guilty.

But now, at 17, things are better. Don’t get me wrong, I believe my mother loves me very much. I love her very much too. I think she used guilt to control me from being rebellious last time I’m not sure.

Things are definitely better in the present.
But now, everyday, she would say multiple times things like “I hate you so much”, “did anyone ever told you how much they hate you” or like “if I had a chance I would have another daughter”. But the thing is, she says these things in a really jokingly way, not like in the past. Maybe I am being over sensitive because it triggers past memories. Sometimes when we are in public, she says to me “I can’t speak so loud otherwise people will say I verbally abuse you.” I don’t think she knows how much pain it causes me and so does not take verbal abuse (if it is), seriously. I know the most obvious solution is talk to her and tell her I am in pain. But how can I?? I’m really guarded now because of my past and I hate being vulnerable. Even if she says it jokingly, is this still considered as verbal abuse? If it is, can someone suggest something that could help my situation?
Z
says:
June, 22 2019 at 10:44 pm
I am truly sorry that you have had to go through that. Words can cause a lot of pain. I am not an expert, but my advice is that next time your mom says something like that again, try and talk to your mom about it, and tell her how you feel. It may be extremely hard for you, but don't lose hope. If it ends badly then just remember...your mom verbally abused you, so none of it is your fault. There are people who can help you through this too. You just have to find them. I wish you the best of luck! Goodbye.
Confused
says:
April, 28 2019 at 12:42 pm
My mom told me it's my fault her children are messed up and that I listen to demons. I am a Christian and I have been all my life. I dont doubt she loves us but when she has rage episodes she climbs into me and breaks me down so bad its driven me to suicide before. When she's angry she accuses me of listening to the devil and making her look like the bad guy. But then when she's not angry she says she needs me because I can hear God's voice. She has accused me of being a slut and having a sugar daddy (neither one of those accusations are true) she has made me question my salvation many times before because she's always telling me God is on her side. I jump every time I hear a door slam and I become very anxious. I'm always reading her moods and micro expressions.

Yet I am confused. She's always saying she wants what's best for us and she loves us ans always telling us how much she's given up for us.

Am I being abused or am I just too sensitive? Or am I actually a bad person?
May, 7 2019 at 6:29 pm
Hi. You have signed your name as "confused." One of the signs that you are dealing with emotional abuse in a relationship is confusion. I don't know how old you are or what all of the circumstances are, but this is a situation in which it seems you are being verbally abused, manipulated, and gasllighted at the very least. I would encourage you to find a therapist who can help you unpack all of the messages that you have been receiving from your mother and make a determination about how to deal with the relationship. If you need help finding one, you can reach out to the resources on this page to find assistance: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources . Please stay strong and take care of yourself, and thank you for reaching out. You're not alone. -Kristen
Natalia
says:
April, 5 2019 at 9:06 pm
Hi I’m13. Idk if this is abuse but I’ll start from beginning went I was a child my dad spanked me and my mother never would she would just give me timeout and i loved her for that she was the fun mom all the time I could said yes to all the question in # 2 I always try to start away from things that make my dad mad its a learned habit my dad doesn’t spank me any more but he has anger issues so I try to not make him angry but I love my dad I have trouble saying the word love so this is kinda tough. When I was 8 years old my grandmother past away my mom changed she stopped being the fun mom she would say things about me like quite being a dummy or your so immature or your immature sometimes why can’t you be like me etc. this hurts but now I’m kind of used to it shortly after my grandmother died I started getting severe panic attacks they left but now I have insomnia my mother always forgets when I tell her something important once she pushed me then punched me for not wearing what she wanted me to wear I had headaches for the whole week I think I had a mild concussion but I’m not an expert my head hit the metal frame of my bed I didn’t want to got to school cause it hurt and she got even angrier and called me immature but I stayed anyways but still went to school the next day ever since I flinch whenever she touches me but she never notices she doesn’t even remember when she did it I get panic attacks sometimes now if I get triggered by a movie or from reading something about it she slaps my younger siblings now I can tell their hurting so I try not to let them get in trouble I think I have depression when I was 10 I started taking sneaky sips of beer and stuff and then it became a problem and I started drinking bottles of it then I started cutting my arms whenever I made my mom disappointed and then I would drink more and more I got caught tho for my drinking they stopped me but that was it they don’t know that I still drink sometimes. they don’t know about the cutting tho. My dad sometimes say things about me being dumb for some stuff in school but he still scares me I don’t like making him angry. but for some reason I like to make my mom angry she says she’ll kill me every time I make her blow and for some reason I want her too One time I was crying because my moms aid something about me and my dad told me to quite pouting I don’t cry in front of anyone or even at all i know this is bad but it’s what I believe I thank my mom usually I think I’m immature myself crying is bad to me it makes me feel like a bay so I don’t let myself cry I try not to tell my parents if I deal sick or how I’m feeling because my mom would tell me to stop complaining and being pathetic so now I don’t hugs make me uncomfortable but i like them if their not from my parents I don’t really care about life or school or anything but I have anger issues for sure when someone makes me angry and I see a weapon or knife I feel like it would be so easy just grab the knife use it kill them it will be better that way and I know this is bad rlly bad so I use it on myself instead and no one notices I think I might have some brain trauma because I can’t remember my grandmother I remember what she did but all I see is a body with no face I can’t remember her and she died only 5 yrs ago and I can remember things way before that I sorry about talking this much I’ve never told anyone this and I have a lot more things to say I guess this is what happens when you bottle things up sorry
Natalia
says:
April, 5 2019 at 9:08 pm
Hey sorry but i said yes to all the questions btw sorry again
Aris
says:
May, 4 2018 at 1:26 pm
My dad had always been an opininonated man. He was always judgemental and the kind of guy who demands he is right no matter what. Growing up I never really got along with him. I have always been Afriad of him in some way or the other. Everyday he’d come home for work I would always be terrified hoping to go he was in a good mood because if he wasn’t me and my sibling where going to hear it. Now I have begun noticing that what he does isn’t what a normal father does. Just the other day I was just laying on my couch with my phone watching a TV show. I didn’t want to ask to watch in on the real Tv because he and my mom was. Out of no where he begins yelling at me screaming that I’m the laziest person he had ever met and that I don’t do anything with myself. That I have made myself worthless. I’d like to point out that I am only in highschool. I cannot drive anywhere, I cannot get a job yet. I am practically only living for school. He kept telling me that I never leave the house and how I don’t do anything with my spare time. He than began telling me how I owe him because he put so much effort and money into raising me. As if I asked to be born. No ever ask to be born. All I kept saying was I’m sorry because I was too afriad to say anything else he’d get mad at. He then yelled at me for being apologetic. I didn’t answer those question with the results that state verbal abuse, but If that’s not verbal abuse. I don’t know what it is because to me it isn’t love.
V
says:
April, 29 2018 at 8:02 pm
My mom and I got in a fight, my sister had happened to be there. She always defends my mother even if she is right or wrong. So I ultimately knew that I was going to loose and get mad. So it got heated between my sister and I, so I got in her face and just a simple chest bump nothing extreme like a punch or a kick just a chest bump. My mother then grabbed me by both sides of my neck, I was wearing a hoodie and the hood was on at the time, she squeezed very tightly and yelled at me pulling my face close to her face. Her eyes were piercing and you voice was shattering. I ran I my room and cried, called my friend and well I really don’t want to finish this but I’m the end my mother and I talked about it. She just blew off my answers and filled it in with something deep or something off topic. I’m upset and I don’t know if I am getting abused or not. My mo has grabbed me by the back of the neck before on multiple occasions but she has never grabbed me by both sides of my neck before. Please help me find out what is wrong.
Taylor
says:
April, 22 2018 at 1:06 pm
I believe I was a victim of verbal abuse but am still confused. I was told to walk like a man when I dragged my foot because I was tired. I was also told during a episode of her rage to “eat it”. When I got sick, she told me was “allergic to sick men”. Can anyone shed some light on this?
Max
says:
April, 18 2018 at 2:14 pm
I don’t know if this abuse, but, my mom belittles me f for loving my dad, and makes me feel like bad. If i even defend my dad she will yell at me, and say, “Of corse you’re defending him, he’s abusing you.” He isn’t. She’ll scream at me and make snarky remarks.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Rick
says:
May, 9 2018 at 9:56 am
your mom is abusing you because of her resentment towards your father. That is wrong.
Emily
says:
April, 14 2018 at 12:24 am
My parents used to fight a lot when I was a kid, my dad would break things and scream at my mom, and my mom would do the same. I once witnessed my dad beat my mom half to death, but she went to the hospital and lied, saying she got jumped while walking home from the bar. My mother was neglectful, leaving my baby sister, a newborn baby, alone in a dark room, crying until she couldn't breathe. She was constantly drunk and never took my sisters and I to school. My dad was usually gone with work, but when he came home, he got drunk and smoked weed with my mom, and then they'd start fighting. I can't remember a day I didn't wake up in the middle of the night, straining to hear if my parents were fighting. When I was six, my elder brother began molesting me, promising me things if I would let him touch me. I didn't know, I was just a kid. He did it until I was nine. My parents had caught him before, touching my little sister, but he said that he would stop, and they let him stay. Then they found out that he was still doing it to me, and they kicked him out. But they never told the police, and they never got me the help I deserve, but I'm too scared to tell people face to face. Hell, to this day I see him sometimes, my father pretends it never happened. Then, my mom left my dad after having an affair. She left my sisters and I, and she never showed up to the custody hearing, so we were left with my father. Everything was okay at first. My dad wasn't drinking, or smoking weed. I thought everything was okay, and then he started drinking again, and since my mom wasn't here, he began to fight with me. He still does to this day. He says that I'm a disappointment and that he doesn't love me, he tells me I'm a whore and mentally ill like my mother. Once, he had been drinking and had fallen asleep, and in his sleep he had knocked over a cup of water. He got up, blamed me for doing it, and when I told him he was being ridiculous, he grabbed me forcefully and threw me to the floor in my bedroom, and then slammed the door shut. In another separate incident, he punched a hole in my bedroom door in a fit of rage. His ex girlfriend who had seen the whole thing had called CPS on him, and I lied to them, because I'm scared of getting him in trouble. He always tells me that I'm ungrateful and that he breaks his back working to put a roof over my head. Even when he's not drunk, he doesn't take me seriously and gets angry at me. I feel like a coward, because just tonight, he made my little sister cry, but I was too scared to confront him because last time I did he had gotten extremely angry at me and I had to leave the hose and stand in the cold for nearly two hours until he calmed down. Another time, he bothered my other youngest sister in the middle of the night, and was yelling at her, and I got up and told him to stop because it was the middle of the night, he said that the phones were corrupting us and that all we do is use them, so he took them and smashed them. I don't know what to do. I've never been diagnosed with anxiety or depression because my father refuses to get me diagnosed, because he tells me that being medicated is horrible. He won't get me therapy despite how much I ask him. I'm lost, I'm too scared to confront an adult. I know what he's doing is wrong, but I can't bring myself to tell others because in some sick twisted way I love him, I'm scared of what will happen if I tell on him. Maybe in some convoluted way I think it's my fault or that I deserve it. I honestly have no idea what to do.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

chloe
says:
May, 1 2019 at 6:11 pm
get a job, once you have enough money, get a place, get emancipated, and take legal guardianship over your sister. you can do all of this behind your dads back and get as far away from there as possible. also, talk to an adult this is serious.
Anonymous
says:
April, 11 2018 at 2:13 pm
My mother always yells at me for the dumbest things, and sometimes even calls me derogatory names. I’ve tried to talk about it but she never lets me finish because she thinks that the fact that she “sacrificed” so much for me to have a better life. And I feel like it’s just an excuse so I’ll shut up. Plus she always says that I can’t tell anyone what happens at home(the yelling) because what happens at home is private business,b but yet when I make certain mistakes she doesn’t neglect to tell her friends and family members l, and I don’t feel respected.
Anonymous
says:
April, 10 2018 at 1:44 pm
I am still not sure. My mother is not consistently mean, but sometimes she gets angry for no reason and has this snarky condescending voice and smile when I try to apologize. It happens at least once a week. She snaps and says the meanest things she can think of to me. I don't know if it is abuse. Even if I did know I don't know what I would do because the other half of the time she is nice and loving. It is confusing and I don't know what to do anymore
Belinda
says:
February, 15 2018 at 2:03 pm
I find it extremely difficult to discuss this topic with my Adoptive Mother who is extremely abusive and very unaware of it. I have to watch myself, and be mindful, it gets on you and into your brain, to act like that and to feel powerless to change the script. Abusers, were abused and on and on. Deep seeded roots in control and manipulation are like cutting wires with a butter knife at times. I imagine a butter knife can be sharpened enough to cut wire?
Jessica Ann Doerfler
says:
February, 7 2018 at 10:52 am
When my roommate won't shut up during the television show I am trying to watch I snap.
animechica
says:
December, 8 2017 at 8:37 am
my older brother loves to drive me nuts by saying and doing things he knows I hate. he does this every day and it drives me nuts, but i don´t know how to stop him. and whenever he says sorry, he´ll be sorry for as long as mom and/or dad are around, and then he´ll gripe and start over. i just want him to stop!
Myra
says:
October, 20 2017 at 8:49 am
Ok so my mom says she trusts me and well i have a boyfriend and she doesn't trust me well enough to make my own décisions. She made me cry because she kept saying he isnt good enough saying he is pushing me away stuff like that. I tell her he isn't like that and she just tells me she been through this and she doesn't want me to go 4through it. She does this all the time. She thinks he isn't fit for me i love him he loves me i am 14 years old and i know what i am doing i know she means well but my boyfriend is good enough for me i want her to just listen to me all i feel is hurt and just want her to accept it i feel better with him around i want to just be happy with him that all i been with him for a year and im just tired of my mom and people telling me he isn't good enough

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

October, 20 2017 at 10:14 am
Myra, Hi I'm Emily, the newest author of <em>Verbal Abuse in Relationships</em>, thanks for reaching out! Reading your comment takes me right back to when I was fourteen years old, which is fourteen years ago actually. I too had a boyfriend when I was a teenager I stayed with for years despite my family's disapproval. I was sure I couldn't go on without him and that we were soul mates. Looking back, I must say, everything my family said and did, they did from a place of true love for me. With that being said, I know how hard it is to be fourteen years old and to have people tell you that you don't know what you're doing, you don't understand, it's incredibly frustrating to hear those things. My best advice to you Myra, is to keep your wits about you, look at your mom's disapproval as a sign of how much she loves you and how she thinks you deserve the very best, it just means she thinks highly of you. Look at your relationship with open eyes and an open mind, if you don't agree with your mom, try to just be aware of her thoughts and be aware of your relationship. If she says he is verbally or emotionally abusive toward you, become informed on what it means to be verbally abusive, and become aware of the signs and symptoms, so you're better equipped to defend your relationship (if that is not the case) or to acknowledge there actually is a problem ( if not now, maybe in the future, it's always good to just be aware). Here's some information about the signs and symptoms of emotional abuse: <a href="https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/emotional-abuse-definitions-signs-symptoms-examples/" target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow">Emotional Abuse: Definitions, Signs, Symptoms, Examples</a> Thanks Myra! Take care of yourself, Emily
Taya
says:
October, 16 2017 at 6:50 pm
My mom is always telling me to be perfect. Ever so since I was 7 or 8 she has been putting me on diets just because I don't fit into her ideal life. She is constantly trying to bribe me with things like food (I never accept them) and even when I ask her politely to kill a spider because I'm really scared of them she tells me that I have to clean up after her messes. She's taken me to a clinic even, to get their opinion if I have an eating disorder. My dad (they're divorced) told her to take me to a therapist but she said that it isn't that kind of problem. After they said nothing was wrong with me she suddenly began to say that I needed a therapist. This was a year ago and I still don't have one. I don't know what's wrong with her but I think she's manipulative and controlling.
Gracella
says:
October, 1 2017 at 9:22 pm
I'm 13 and wondering Is it a form of abuse when I'm yelled at enough to make me attempt running away multiple times and made to believe that I make life difficult. Past few years have been really hard with my parents. They've threatened to hit me and they embarrass and can't keep secrets. Also they don't take me seriously and recently my dad touched me and it made me uncomfortable I don't know if this is abuse but he touched my thigh and lower back and yea.. for a long time its makes me really scared. I'm just really scared, sad and confused. I've almost been driven of the edge before and I don't know what to do.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

S
says:
October, 8 2017 at 7:26 am
I’m no professional but if it’s gotten bad enough you have considered running away it definatly sounds like your being ‘abused’ you should try talking to a school counselor or friend something that could probably help
Grace M
says:
October, 1 2017 at 8:26 pm
I'm not sure if this is abuse but it's been going on for years and it has almost driven me over the edge. I'm 13 and my parents yell at me and they made me believe that I made life difficult and they didn't take my feelings in account they also threatened to hit me multiple times. Recently my dad has been touching me like his hand on my thigh for a long time or on the lower of my back and yea.. I don't know if this abuse but it made me uncomfortable and extremely scared I think because I wasn't accustomed to that and it was odd and now I'm really scared . What should I do. I'm really scared and sad and confused what do I do? Am I just overthinking this or worrying for no reason ?
Lisa
says:
August, 30 2017 at 9:52 am
I've been abused in every way. My mother was so ill with cancer that she didn't know. I don't want to get to far, since I worked through it, but friendship? Even after 2decades is what is confusing. Any stories that any of you have been in an abusive friendships?
Aki Duggan
says:
August, 4 2017 at 9:15 am
My name is Aki and I'm a 13 year old girl.
My dad has been emotionally and verbally abusing me as well as neglecting me for as long as I can remember. Around a year ago I was illegally removed from my mom's house and put in my dad's house. Since then the abuse has only gotten worse and worse with each passing day. For example: every time I get hurt or one of my 3 siblings hurts me he laughs and doesn't show any sign of hoping that I feel better. Just like when I got a concussion, my dad laughed at me bcuz i fell out of a tree then he waited for 3 hours to take me to the hospital to get my head checked out and I ended up getting to bed at 1 am. My siblings and I are treated like cleaning ladies/people.......only we don't get paid. My dad's sarcastic remarks about how 'awesome' my report card is(I have horrible grades) and how 'awesome' it is that we accidentally broke something hurtes soooooo much. I have been looking for a way to share my story and show that my dad isn't the best man in the world like he says he is.........my social worker from Children's Aid Society and my lawyer don't say anything even closely related to the fact that my dad abuses my siblings and I in court(even though we complain all the time about it). My dad also abused my mom sexually, physically, and emotionally before he left Jan/16th/2011. I recently found out that I have ptsd due to his abuse and neglect. So basically I am left alone with my siblings and my mom to get the stories out.......but it's not working very well bcuz my dad has Children's Aid Society, my lawyer, his lawyer, and my mom's lawyer wrapped around his finger. Oh ya.......and my mom has also been falsely accused of having a mental illness.......so that helps things. Soooooo ya that's my life now!!!!!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Aki Duggan
says:
August, 4 2017 at 9:18 am
I am also super scared that he will start hitting me!!!!!!
WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!I NEED HELP!!!!!!!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

August, 4 2017 at 9:48 am
Hi Aki,

Thank you for your comment. It must have been hard for you to open up like that so well done.

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. Please, if you think you or your siblings are in danger, call the <a href="http://www.childhelp.org/hotline/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">National Child Abuse hotline</a> right away -- they can help you. Even if your dad hasn't been violent, the fact that you're scared for your physical safety is important.

It won't be like this forever, but you need help from the right people. Good luck xxx

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Ophelia
says:
October, 8 2017 at 11:09 am
You literally are describing my life. I am also 13. My mum was the same, and everyone always used to make up things like she was crazy and had mental illnesses even though I knew she didn't. But at least she saw the bad in my dad and was always trying to stop him. But no one listened to her. And now she is dead and no one is listening to me, and I haven't got her support anymore. Feeling sooooo lost. Thanks for sharing though, it helps me realise that I'm not the only one.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Ophelia
says:
October, 8 2017 at 11:10 am
My dad is the abusive one. Just to be clear.
Christensen
says:
July, 23 2017 at 3:17 am
I been abused just a few minutes ago thats why im writing this.
Name Witheld
says:
May, 8 2017 at 9:33 pm
So I'm 17 right now. When I was 12, I was having serious issues with a few mental disorders and was EXTREMELY suicidal. I told my parents... and they screamed and laughed at me. My mom went as far as to slam the door on my face when I begged her on my knees to believe me. I can easily answer "yes" to every question asked, not just the numbers, but the questions. This sort of thing went on for 4 years, and since it was during that especially horrible time in my life, it REALLY messed me up. I don't think I was abused, since they say that they love me (most of it has stopped), they don't remember doing any of it, but they remember doing it sometimes, and because they didn't really expect a child who has mental disorders. Also, it may have seemed like I was acting when this all was going on. They say now that I over-exaggerate everything. I'm not sure, because I have memory issues along with my mental issues...
I feel so bad about having issues with this. I feel like I'm the one who's abusive since I keep bringing this up with them and my counselor...

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Pleasehelpme
says:
June, 11 2017 at 4:21 pm
I am 12 and I feel like I am emotionally abused I have I do complain about somethings my dad just had talk with me and he said if I complain again he will send me away to an all girls boarding school I am really sad and scared and I just can't do life any more it hurts my parents are constantly doing this I am adopted and my parents won't let me see my birth family any more and I miss them I can't do this :(

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
June, 12 2017 at 9:06 am
Hi PleaseHelpMe,

I'm so sorry you're in that situation. I would recommend you call a helpline as soon as possible. They will be able to help you more: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

- Natasha Tracy

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

RayAnn Tenberg
says:
June, 24 2017 at 1:24 pm
Yes plz call a helpline at least and stay strong help is out there dont give up XOXO
Heather
says:
September, 20 2016 at 4:09 pm
Well start off at beginning. I got married to a Muslim man in 1998. And had my first child. We always seem to get into a fight over finances as we don't make much money. I always feel like the man should get two jobs women have house duties and taking kids to and fro. We any way the first fight we got into was when daughter was two years old. He stood in my face with hand raised ready to hit me but instead he told me he would kill me and daughter and himself. I left him for one week he did not know where I was. He started calling jobs and going by them to see if I was there. No response so he called my mom. He told her he could not find me. I spoke to her letting her know of the threat. Trying to spare daughter I left and went back home. All ok for a bit then he starts callin me a pig. That I have never lost weight while with him. Than time and time agin he had threatened to diborce me. He has also banged holes in walls and knocked over funiture. Thing oh ok for a bit than he threatened to take kids back to his country. Not to long ago a good friend was shot and thin hubby shot him self. I was naturley devastated and extremely sad. Hubby her do and I asked him if found anouher job he said no and went on. On the phone he made comment to go back to his country and retire there. He want to shoot you in back like your friend. He knew that woul hurt. I have not talked two him in !.scared thT he will take kids to his company. Is this abuse. I kind of feel that way.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Lillian
says:
April, 23 2017 at 4:20 pm
Yes! This is very much abuse! Tell someone you trust, and record everything he says and threatens. With that information you can use that to show authorities and if you want a court case. Hope you stay safe!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Eliza
says:
June, 26 2017 at 7:52 pm
Yes, it is abuse and you are being threatened with death. He cannot legally take the children out of the USA without your written permission. Once in his own country, things may be very different. Have you seen the movie Not Without My Daughter? Unfortunately, you may have no legal rights in his country if it follows Islamic law. His attitude seems cultural to many Muslim worldviews that the wife is the husband's property. My sister-in-law was taken to by her dad to her father's home country (Muslim) and her American mother could not get her back through the courts of that country or the American government. Her mother had to steal her daughters back before one was given as a child bride. My sister-in-law says her dad treated her with love, but her older sister was going to married off as a young teenager, and who knows how she would have been treated by the potential husband. These days there are better protections in place for parent kidnappings. Bottom line: your husband is definitely abusive and he is threatening your life. You can get protection from the USA (and most other Western) legal system(s). If I were you, I would believe that he might carry through on his threat to kill you and get protection for yourself and the children.
Katie
says:
August, 8 2016 at 5:57 pm
My name is Katie, I'm 12 years old, and I feel like my mother has been doing #1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. An example: I ask if she wants to hang out in the pool with me after I get back from my Dad's house. She says no, and I ask her why. "It will be too cold." It's 95 degrees outside. I ask her to at least try it, because I've been so desperate after our last fight to have fun with her. Her voice quickly changes to a yell, and she tells me to "stop bullying" her into doing things. I ask her why she thinks I'm a bully. She ignores my last statement, going on to tell me how I "always take advantage of her" and I always do this, and I'm such a that. I get defensive immediately. I have a bit of an anger problem. She knows that. I search for reasons I'm not a bully. I can't. I feel like I'm dirt. She walks away, audibly mumbling,"Joyful" sarcastically. She wants me to hear her say that. She wants me to feel horrible. I do. I look at our front door, seriously thinking about running away. I run outside to the porch, and once she can't hear me, I cry. If she does hear me, she'll tell me to be quiet and go to bed. I text my dad for advice. He has depression as well, and he understands me better than my mother. He tells me that running away is not a good option, and I could stay with him whenever I need it. (He also tells me if I'm too sad, I can watch Beavis and Butthead. :)) my dad can make me smile in the worst of times. This time wasn't one of them. It's a daily routine. My mother comes out not to ask me if I'm alright, or if I need a hug, e even to talk about anything, but she can't get the door open, and blames it on me, stating "you were the one who used it last." And "you were the one who broke it." I tried to open it, and it slid right open. So now I'm here searching for verbal abuse signs, still balling. Please, if I could get advice or any answers, please please please please help.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Lillian
says:
April, 23 2017 at 4:27 pm
Sounds like you are experiencing emotional abuse. Talk to a trusted adult like your dad, and tell him you think you are going though emotional abuse. Maybe that way he can take action. BTW, has this been going on since you were little, and does your dad do anything about this, like does he take action? Right now, I would talk to your mom about how you feel, tell her you don't like whats going on and you feel unsafe. If that doesn't work, I think you and your mom should see a therapist. Hope you stay safe!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Beverley
says:
June, 3 2017 at 8:49 pm
You sound so desperate. I have had previous experience with your situation. And you must speak to an adult who will listen and be able to help you. They may have to take drastic steps to help you. But remember it's a means to an end

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Eliza
says:
June, 26 2017 at 8:02 pm
Your mom has problems aren't related to you, but she is taking out on you because you are close by. She may not be able to control her own problems because she may have a mental illness or a similar handicap in how she operates. It is not your fault. Even when you have a temper. You can work on your temper, and you should for your future. But your mom has her own issues and they aren't your fault. It is not personal to you, it's about her emotional abilities. Please stay with mom or dad rather than run away. There are much worse people in the world who will be even more harmful to you. Your mom's problems are not because you are a terrible person.
Ava
says:
July, 20 2016 at 10:26 am
My mother does this to me, and has been doing it since I was nine. Nowadays I don't even bother to talk to her if I have the choice not to. I believe I may have some sort of Depression thanks to her, but I can't get help, because she'd either yell at me or call me a hypochondriac.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Kellie Jo Holly
says:
July, 21 2016 at 11:46 am
I don't know how old you are now or what state you're in, so I don't know if this can work or not. Try to make your own appointment with your doctor and have a friend take you to it. Tell the doctor how you're feeling and what's going on. At the very least, if you're of age, you can get a referral to a therapist and medication that can help with the depression/anxiety.
Charley
says:
June, 29 2016 at 7:11 am
My parents do this. It makes me feel like I'm not worth anything. I have tried telling them how I feel, but they either get really angry or they do not take me seriously and laugh at me. I feel really helpless. I don't know what to do because on one hand I love them because they are my parents but on the other hand I hate them for how they make me feel so worthless and depressed and fat/ugly all the time. I just don't know what to change or do so they can finally be happy with me for once, or accept me for who I am. I've tried so much but it is never enough. Anybody any idea of what makes most parents really happy with their child?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Kellie Jo Holly
says:
June, 29 2016 at 1:38 pm
Charley, your parents are abusive. I hate to tell you, but I had to tell my son too, there is nothing you can do to make them approve of you. As hard as it is, you must do things that make you proud of yourself - no matter what your parents say. Since you can't change their reactions, you may as well do what you think is right so you can approve of yourself.

When you're 50 or so, sitting by a parent as he or she passes away, you will STILL be waiting for that approval. I don't want you to live your life like that.

I'm sorry your home life is this way. Find your joy in other places - school, activities, friends, friends' families...
Stephanie
says:
June, 17 2016 at 2:32 am
I looked at this and knew all my answers would be yes my "mother" has been doing it to me for as long as I can remember she never did it to my sisters or my brother just me I've always been the kid that ruined her life she's only told me she loved me twice and I'm 27 funny how I had to lend her money each time to hear it after she destroyed me and my credit rating ( took loans out in my name and never paid them ) and she still won't admit it I'm a liar according to her for all of you who's mum is the problem I subjest you drop her cut her out of your life because she will never change she will continue to drag you down so you can never get your head above water then and only then you can start putting it behind you and movin on
jennyH
says:
May, 29 2016 at 3:57 pm
This maybe strange..but THE verbal abuser is my 28 year old son an his girlfriend whom seems to follow his lead..
I have a grandchild so i put up with it because of fears i wont c her..today was the last an final straw..he calls me a mother fucker...an many things worse then that...an she says im a white bitch..
It hurts soooo bad..i guess im going to have to sacrafice my any chance forva relationship..he makes me feel like i dont deserve to live...an i luv life

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Kellie Jo Holly
says:
May, 30 2016 at 10:42 am
I'm sorry to hear that, Jenny. My son went through that when he was younger - I think it's easier to take when they're not adults. I feel bad for you. I wish it were as easy as cutting him out of your life, but there's your granddaughter.

Do your best to limit your time with him and his girlfriend while gaining time with your granddaughter. Maybe you could offer to babysit so they can have a night out each week? You could meet them in a public place, somewhere fun for your granddaughter. Or, if she's an infant, ask a friend to stay with you during drop-off, pick-up. Abusive people are less likely to abuse in front of an audience. I don't know. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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