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Self-Injury Awareness

This past year, I’ve spoken to numerous Syracuse high schools about my novel, Noon, and the self-injury topics discussed in the book. Like I’ve said in my past blogs, one character struggles with self-harm and suicide. A lot of my past experiences go into her scenes and, sometimes, I feel bad that I threw all of my baggage into that character’s life. However, it does work as quite the positive self-injury coping skill. Recently, I spoke to a high school about the book and realized, again, how useful it is to talk about the struggles you’ve gone through. It allows you to really open up and show your braver side. This blog was a huge step forward in my opening up about self-harm. When you have the confidence to talk about your past, it shows how much you’ve grown.
Whether it be cutting, bruising, burning, head banging or picking, one thing is for sure – pain is involved. Gross or not, some self-harmers are interested in blood and tissues and use self-injury to redirect his or her focus. Some self-harmers like the feeling it gives them because it allows their internal pain to be released. Like I’ve stated in the past, self-harm redirected me to something else to worry about – the mark, the pain, covering the cut with bracelets or make-up. No matter what the reason is behind why those who self-harm do what they do, pain is a main focus.
Life is fragile. Embrace life. Life is worth living. You may have heard those statements more than a million times and even though they sound cliché, they are very true. Every moment, someone dies. I may not know the statistics, but people die at frightening rates. Whether it is from disease, old age, an accident or suicide, every life is worth cherishing.
For all of you radio-listeners out there, you have probably heard the song “Monsters” by Rihanna and Eminem being overplayed on the radio. For many people, the popularity of a song dissolves after hearing it numerous times a day for weeks on end. However, over the last week, I haven’t been able to get enough of the song. Why, you ask? The song’s lyrics seem to be directed towards those struggling with self-harm and mental illness.
For those who self-harm, it is important to feel supported. It is important not feel alone during a time of struggle and to be surrounded by people who care and want what is best for you. Sometimes, people aren’t that lucky. Sometimes, people are pushed away or leave a friendship because they are confused about the person’s behaviors or scared for them. Sometimes, feeling alone is all people have. No matter what, there are places to go where a self-injury support system is waiting. You just have to open your eyes, take a deep breath and look for it.
When you’re feeling down in the dumps, you stop believing in yourself. You start to think that you don’t have the strength to push forward or that no one will care if you do. We’ve all been there and felt this way, but some of us have found ways to climb the ladder out of that hole. For self-harmers, it tends to be a little more difficult to step on that ladder.
I made my last, intentional self-injury cut on the night of October 14, 2008. I was sitting in the bathtub, staring down at a bobby pin and crying about the news I’d gotten that morning. The news had been devastating and to this day, still leaves me in disbelief.
Everyone knows October as being Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Pink is everywhere – in stores, on commercials, on Facebook and everywhere else imaginable. It’s great that awareness for this disease has been marketed so well. However, did you know that September was Childhood Cancer Awareness month? Did you know that October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, National Down Syndrome month and, of course, Mental Health Awareness month? It’s important to recognize all of the important pieces of a month and not get overwhelmed with one color.
Many of us have been in a conversation when a topic you do not feel comfortable with was brought up. Maybe it was just a statement or a joke or a word. No matter what it was, you were left feeling unsure and uneasy. Some people may be able to laugh it off and try to change the subject. Some people walk away and turn their backs on the discussion because they just can’t stand to listen. One thing is for sure - it is hard to speak up.
For self-harmers, cutting or burning or picking is a form of comfort. However, we also know that this is not a safe form of comfort or a coping skill that should stick around. We know that these behaviors are not only hurtful to our bodies, but also hurtful to our minds. Every time a mark is made, your mind becomes frenzied with thoughts – I’m glad I did that. That felt great. Wait, am I glad I did that. I feel much better. Did that really help me? All of a sudden, anxiety rises once the euphoric feeling disappears and that is what leads to more negative behaviors being thought about. Therefore, stepping out of your comfort zone may be a good step forward.