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Schizoaffective Disorder

I took an atypical antipsychotic medication that makes you feel numb when I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1999. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type and tried a mood stabilizer that my doctor allowed the antipsychotic dosage to be decreased. Finally, I felt like myself again.
I'm isolating myself because of schizoaffective disorder and generalized anxiety disorder because I’m simply afraid to socialize in all sorts of ways—even more recently, in support groups. Here's why I'm isolating myself.
I've been smoke-free since March of 2012—13 years after I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and 10 years after I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It was really hard and sometimes, even six years later, it is hard to remain smoke-free with schizoaffective disorder. But I’ve been able to do it. Here’s how.
I found a way to cope with emotional overreaction in schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I feel oversized emotions so I emotionally overreact to almost everything. Unfortunately, my big emotions are usually negative—anxious, sad, helpless. Here are some examples of times I experienced big emotions and overreacted. I hope it helps to share how I cope with this trait.
Is this hypomania or happiness? I’m afraid to be happy. I know that’s a cliché, but, for me, it’s true. I’m afraid to be happy because happiness can betray me. What if it just turns out to be schizoaffective hypomania and I crash into a depression? Hypomania vs. happiness really matters.
Really invasive schizophrenic voices stalked me about a week ago. They were brash and loud. They lasted a really long time. And none of my coping strategies worked for calming the impact of the voices. I was at home in my apartment with my husband, too. That should have made the schizophrenic voices episode easier. It didn’t.
I have a schizoaffective disorder care plan for this part of winter because, a year ago in March, I completed an outpatient hospitalization program for my schizoaffective disorder. It was part of the deal I made with medical professionals after going to the ER for suicidal ideation. I learned a lot in the program and it was a positive experience, but I don’t want to do it again. Here are some things I’m doing in my schizoaffective care plan to stay out of the hospital as late winter approaches and I feel most vulnerable.
Staying sober with schizophrenia is important to me. Over a year ago, I quit drinking alcohol. I quit because it triggered my schizoaffective depression. I would get hypomanic and I would crash into a depressed mood when the wine wore off. I basically just gave it up one day and never looked back, but I do miss it from time to time. Here’s how I cope with staying sober with schizophrenia.
I have low self-esteem and schizophrenia (schizoaffective disorder). Unfortunately, I often feel very low self-esteem. I don’t know if it’s because of my schizoaffective disorder, but the schizoaffective disorder sure doesn’t help.
Usually, I can figure out the reason for hearing voices. I hear schizoaffective voices a lot. This week, I heard them two days in a row. That’s never happened before. But I think I know why my schizoaffective disorder made me hear voices two days in a row.