Schizoaffective Disorder Makes it Hard to Clean My Home
My schizoaffective disorder makes it hard for me to clean my home. I do little things here and there, though. I regularly take out the garbage and the recycling and I do a bit of dusting. But it’s not enough. My apartment is still very messy. It’s messy to the point where my husband Tom and I don’t have people over. It’s really embarrassing to say to friends, “We can’t have you over because our apartment is too messy.” We just don’t invite friends over.
Because of My Schizoaffective Disorder, I Don’t Trust Myself to Clean
I’m not sure why my schizoaffective disorder affects my ability to clean my apartment. It’s as if I don’t know how to clean. I think part of this is because in my 20s when I should have been learning to take care of a home, I was living with my parents and grappling with the very debilitating diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.
Another problem is that I don’t trust myself. I’m afraid I’ll do the cleaning “wrong.” My therapist has pointed out to me that there is no wrong way to clean. Still, I’m afraid.
I feel that I’m the one who should do the cleaning, not because I’m the woman and Tom’s the man but because Tom works full-time and I don’t. Also, Tom does the cooking and I don’t know how to cook.
So, as I said before, I do my best to do what I can with the garbage and the recycling. Even just doing that causes my schizoaffective anxiety to flare up—but I do it anyway. Dusting and sweeping are two things I should be doing more, but, to be perfectly honest, doing them scares me. I don’t know why. I do try my best to tackle them when I can.
It doesn’t help that, lately, my schizoaffective depression is so bad I can barely get out of bed. My anxiety and depression feed off of each other. I did get up to write this article today, though, so that’s something.
I’m Embarrassed My Schizoaffective Disorder Keeps Me from Cleaning
It’s been embarrassing to write this article. I feel as though I sound like a lazy slob. At the same time, the fact that it’s embarrassing is exactly why I had to write it. I’m sure other people’s mental illnesses make it hard for them to clean—or to do other simple things, like showering and washing their hair. If you have trouble practicing basic self-care or doing simple tasks, I would love to read about your difficulties or suggestions in the comments below.
Caudy, E. (2019, May 30). Schizoaffective Disorder Makes it Hard to Clean My Home, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, June 26 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/creativeschizophrenia/2019/5/schizoaffective-disorder-makes-it-hard-to-clean-my-home
Author: Elizabeth Caudy
Thank you so much for your comment. I am so glad the column brings you hope--thank you so much for telling me that.
I have schizoaffective no-polar type.
I can relate to everything you and Deana wrote. Some of the stuff that has helped me are DBT/CBT skills over many many years. Flylady.net for inspiration and affirmations. I can't keep up with her cleaning plan but I can do some of the stuff she suggests. Decluttering is a big issue for me. She has a simple method of using a timer (15 or 2min) to do tasks. Pacing is important for me because of several medical issues. So this helps me. Not everyday but it helps. She's got such a good message. I have a motto for myself Having a clean house is not a moral issue! I am not a bad person! I don't have people over either. Not just because of the state of my house but because of safety issues. Right now I have to consider having help come in because my HB(hubby) can't keep up with all the care I need and take care of the house. I am terrified! But it needs serious consideration. As far as noise, I get what your saying Deana. I use ear plugs my daughter uses noise cancelling ear phones. I can do this because I have dogs that bark at everything! Lol Can you consider a alarm system?
I want to thank you both for sharing. I'm going to be 65 soon. I've had over 40yrs of therapy and psycho education classes. See if your community mental health agency offers anything like this. The classes helped me more than anything.
God bless you both!
Thank you so much for your comment. I like your motto! All the comments I've been getting on this post make me feel that I'm not alone, so thanks for being a part of that! DBT and CBT help me a lot, too. I recently finished a class on DBT, and I've also taken a class on mindfulness, so classes help me, too. Thanks again for your comment!
Well, i enjoyed your article, it helped me. Thank you for listening.