I Don't Go to Parties Because of Schizoaffective Disorder

Thursday, December 20 2018 Elizabeth Caudy

Some people don't go to parties, and that's okay. Find out why schizoaffective disorder takes the fun out of parties for some people at HealthyPlace.

I don’t go to parties, as I have confided before. This is especially hard to pull off during the holiday season. I used to party when I was younger, but now I have less of a tolerance for the noise and confusion. Here’s why this schizoaffective avoids the holiday mayhem.

I Don't Go to Parties Because They're Not Fun for Me

Some people might ask, "But aren’t parties fun?"

Hmm, let’s see.

First of all, I don’t drink and I don’t like loud gatherings. I don’t like drunk, loud people. And I especially don’t like drunk, loud people asking me why I’m not drinking ("How to Respond to 'Why Aren't You Drinking?'"). I think that is such an obnoxious question, especially to ask a perfect stranger, and I used to get asked why I wasn’t drinking all the time by perfect strangers. If you drink, and the next time you’re at a party someone isn’t drinking, please don’t ask that person why he is sipping a soda.  It’s none of your business.

For the record, part of the reason I don’t drink is because of my medication for schizoaffective disorder. It doesn’t sit well with alcohol. The other part is that when the tipsy, happy feeling wears off, I get really depressed.

But issues around drinking aren’t the main reason I don’t go to parties. The main reason parties are not fun for this schizoaffective is that I very easily become over-stimulated. If there are too many people having too many different, loud conversations—which is what parties are all about—I get very overwhelmed. Back when I used to try to go to parties, I would get there early and then leave when a certain amount of people had shown up. Now I just don’t even go to parties.

How This Schizoaffective Avoids Going to Parties

I only associate with people who know I have schizoaffective disorder, and they understand that I can’t make it to parties. One of my best friends recently became a father. He and his wife, also a good friend, invited me to a party to meet their baby. I think they knew I wouldn’t be able to go—they just wanted me to feel included. I always appreciate an invite, even if I can’t go. I texted them and asked them if, instead, they wanted to meet up with the baby for a quiet dinner after the holidays are over. They said that would be lovely.

So just because I don’t go to parties doesn’t mean I miss out on having friends. I don’t have as many friends as I had in college, but who does? I don’t mind missing out on parties, and neither does my husband. We’re just not “party people.” But we love to be together.

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Author: Elizabeth Caudy

Elizabeth Caudy was born in 1979 to a writer and a photographer. She has been writing since she was five years old. She has a BFA from The School of the Art Institute of Chicago and an MFA in photography from Columbia College Chicago. She lives outside Chicago with her husband, Tom. Find Elizabeth on Google+ and on her personal blog.

View all posts by Elizabeth Caudy.

I Don't Go to Parties Because of Schizoaffective Disorder

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