Schizoaffective Disorder and What It's Like to Hear Voices
I have schizoaffective disorder and I hear voices. The first time I heard them 16 years ago, I thought they were faeries. Sometimes I still think that. Faeries are troublemakers. So are my voices.
I Know the Voices I Hear Aren't Real
When I’m with people who I feel safe telling that I’m hearing voices, they want to know what the voices are saying. I never used to tell anyone. The voices didn’t make sense. If I could make them out at all, they said things like, “Smoking is bad for your weekend.” It was embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as the fact that I was hearing voices in the first place.
Some people assume that when you’re hearing voices, the voices are telling you to kill people. My voices don’t tell me to kill people. And even if they did, I wouldn’t do it because I know the voices are not real. All whimsical notions about faeries aside, the key to successfully dealing with hearing voices in schizoaffective disorder is knowing that they’re not real.
Taking Steps to Manage Hearing Voices in Schizoaffective Disorder
My voices are triggered by anxiety. When I hear them, I take an antianxiety medication. Sometimes I need more. After I take my first two pills, I like to make myself or ask someone, like my husband, to make me a cup of tea. Then I like to watch a cute movie like Juno or go on Facebook.
Even though I know the voices aren’t real, they still scare me. They didn’t scare me so much when I was hearing them more often. I used to have an attitude toward my voices that it was like getting a migraine. I just needed a time out. Only I can’t exactly tell my boss that I need a time out because I’m hearing voices. At one job, I told people I was hypoglycemic and having a sugar crash.
I wish I could go back to reacting to the voices like they’re a migraine, and not be scared. I am on a medication that helps a lot with treating the voices. (I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.) But I think I have a pretty good handle on the symptom now. It is a symptom, after all.
I know the fact that I’m hearing them doesn’t mean I’m crazy. Okay, maybe it does mean I’m crazy. But what I’m trying to say is, it doesn’t mean I can’t take sane steps to deal with a crazy situation. Because underneath it all, I’m one of the sanest people I know.
Hearing Voices with a Sense of Humor
Caudy, E. (2015, January 13). Schizoaffective Disorder and What It's Like to Hear Voices, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, September 17 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/creativeschizophrenia/2015/01/schizoaffective-disorder-what-its-like-hear-voices
Author: Elizabeth Caudy
My sentences are,"I've got to get out of here and get out of here now!" (When I'm in the grocery store)
"Help me not to be evil." ( I repeat this several times.)
"So and so wants to shoot me"
"I just wish it was over."
I take Effector twice a day, it keeps me from feelings of impending doom, panic attacks, and crying for no reason.
I've been divorced 4 years now and my ex has moved on. I care for my Mom and crochet or knit. My memory is short term on minute things. My son is now home from prison and is working. Both him and my ex suffered from alcoholism. My son was in to drugs and has been clean for two years.
I've always had panic attacks and anxiety. I do not worry as much as I used to. I realize I cannot control my life or a family member.
I'm sorry you're having so much trouble. I know that when I was having a lot of trouble, things did get better through working with my doctors. They didn't get better immediately, but in the long term I'm in a much better place now than I was eight years ago. I know it may be hard to think that far ahead right now, but just know that if you work with your doctors things will get better. I hope that helps.