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Hypersexuality Explained

October 14, 2010 Natasha Tracy

There are exactly two settings on my dial: blow your mind and blow your brains out. I’m bipolar. We’re like that.

Not surprisingly, the sex mostly happens on the blow your mind setting.

Hypersexuality Defined

Hypersexuality is defined as “exhibiting unusual or excessive concern with or indulgence in sexual activity”

(Such an unsexy definition I have never heard. Trust science to whittle an experience of cataclysm to a ripple in an antiseptic pond.)

male_female

Hypersexuality is generally associated with hypomania and mania and used to be known as nymphomania. (Although the terms nymphomania (for women) and satyriasis (for men) are still used by the World Health Organization.) It should be noted that the severity of hypersexuality runs the gamut just like all hypomanic /manic symptoms do.

Hypersexuality Experienced

I am a very sexual person in nature. I like sex. I like it a lot. When I write about it, words drip from the page. When I speak of it, my tongue lashes each word. When I engage in it, people on the street notice.

But this is not hypersexuality.

Hypersexuality is actually the excessive desire for sex or indulgent activities. Hypersexuality is about the needing, the craving of a release. Hypersexuality is feeling sex move across your skin, slip down the shaft of each hair, and settle deep within your core making all other wants irrelevant. Hypersexuality is driving force. Like eating. When you’re starving to death.

And while this can be rather fun in the right circumstances and perhaps even enjoyable to languish in, it’s not necessarily productive or adaptive.

Hypersexuality and Relationships

Hypersexuality can be a fun time depending on what you and your partner like and how available your partner is. You may be able to channel the overflowing sexuality into a glorious weekend or even week.

male

Or you might not.

Unfortunately, often hypersexuality results in the seeking of sex from any available source and sometimes this is outside the relationship. Yes, hypersexuality during mania can destroy relationships.

Hypersexuality and the Single Life

Hypersexuality might result in you dating more, picking up someone in a bar or possibly just writhing around on your living room floor. It depends on the person.

Effects of Hypersexuality

I am an extremely intellectual individual with excessive control over my behavior; so personally, I don’t have any serious ill effects from hypersexuality. However, this is not the case for everyone. If a person is prone to high risk sex with multiple partners this can be quite dangerous. It’s also worth noting that hypersexuality is often combined with a decrease in inhibitions, impulsive behaviors and impaired judgment, all leading to a perfect storm of destructive behavior.

What to Do About Hypersexuality

It simply comes down to knowing yourself and your life. This symptom is just like any other, if it is harming your life, then you should develop strategies to handle that. For example:

  1. femaleRecognize hypersexuality onset
  2. Tell your partner
  3. Talk to your doctor for a possible med change
  4. See a therapist
  5. Create a network to help you handle the symptom without harming yourself or others

While you’ll likely have to just wait for the feeling to pass, the feeling alone won’t destroy your life, but your actions can.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter or at the Bipolar Burble, her blog.

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2010, October 14). Hypersexuality Explained, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, September 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2010/10/hypersexuality-explained



Author: Natasha Tracy

Natasha Tracy is a renowned speaker, award-winning advocate and author of Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar.

Find Natasha Tracy on her blog, Bipolar BurbleTwitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Melissa Clark
says:
January, 21 2018 at 7:47 pm
My second marriage was a victim of my bipolar hypersexuality I had not been diagnosed and wouldn't be for a few years. Even once you learn it's a symptom it's still hard to control and I need to go back to some of the guys I "dated" when I was a teenager and apologize forgive me for I knew not what I did . Yeah just imagine a teenager with hypersexuality!
Danny Diaz
says:
January, 9 2018 at 10:56 am
I am seeking help to address my Hypersexual behavior. Thank you very much for your coments it helps a lot to know that I am not alone. I am just coming to terms with it and I am feeling more liberated.
Eva
says:
December, 30 2016 at 11:41 pm
Ok I have been BiPolar for years with depression and a mood disorder. I take my meds. But yes I have gone through stages where I would say I was out of control. My problem now is I keep trying to have long term relationships the past 15yrs but find myself still messaging or talking to others at times. Just joking around about it. Its like just craving the attention even if I don't act on it. Trying to be good. But then feel horrible later. And yes it has affected past relationships. Trying to take control..
Brooke
says:
December, 20 2016 at 3:36 pm
Hi-
As I read these posts I am amazed at the similarity in my symptoms. I am 47 and hyper sexual, absolutely consumed by it. I can also relate to the description of oozing sexuality-I like to make men's hearts race. My poor hubby of 24 years cannot keep up, although he is having a good time trying. I feel insatiable, and I actually have prowled Craigslist and I signed up on Ashley Madison, but luckily my account got locked. I carried on an email relationsh with a guy from Craigslist until I got creeped out. I am doing my utmost not to cross the line, but it is so hard. I am seeing a psychiatrist next week and I am hoping with a proper diagnosis and meds, I can scale back because I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. There is also s guy who I see regularly and he we have a mutual attraction-flirty relationship. God please help me be good! I have been honest with my husband about my actions and he is very understanding and loving-I actually think it is bringing us closer together. I also run 6-8 miles every morning after just a few hours sleep and I always feel great. I try to run out the sexual thoughts, but its not working. Thanks for all of the comments and for the wonderful article that got it all started.
Jo
says:
December, 10 2016 at 11:11 am
Well this explains a lot. I've been diagnosed just recently with a mood disorder similar to bipolar; basically I feel horribly depressed always, but otherwise don't do anything shocking...until lately when I stopped taking the pill.

I've been sexually involved with very few people in my life & suddenly I'm incorrigible. I'm sleeping with my boss (who is damn fine, but I'd never noticed before) & aiming to bed about 4 different men I work with, including 2 at the same time. I just can't stop thinking about it! I've been fucked 5 times in a day & still just writhing on the bed needing more.

I can't explain it. It's crazy behaviour. On the plus side I'm losing weight because all my energy is put into seeking sex.

The only way I find to stop it is to set myself a no sex rule. Once I break it though I'm off again like a racehorse out of the gate.
Taylor
says:
November, 4 2016 at 5:42 pm
My recently ex girlfriend I beleive suffered from hypersexuality during a manic phase.

Despite me wanting and trying for months working with her on her sexual dysfunction (I pulled out my A game - she asked me if I could just get off her and go jack off in the bathroom), we went from having it 6 times a day (when I fell in love with her) to once in 50 days.

She then over a minor disagreement bounced off and walked out of the house and ended up on skid row, spent $100 on methamphetamine (which she had never done before) and was picked up by the cops a train wreck wearing someone else's shirt.

A few weeks later, after she broke up with me and refused to talk to me about what was going on between us (manic rage episodes because she was off her meds) raged at me for going camping (what we were arguing about in the first place) with my ex. She went and had a threesome with some random guy and her best friend. Then proceeded to put up posters all over my neighborhood with my picture and phone number the very next day.

Odd considering for months I was trying to just get my sexual needs met for months and then she just was on an absolute tear, even before she broke up with me. She went so nuts that she even left a clown wig and a pig mask at my front doorstep with the K of my name written backwards, lipstick on it and X's through the eyes. Text bombing me for two hours from work. Thats all after the posters and insanity.

I really tried to work with this girl and get her back on her meds but as her mania increased she refused, things reached such a boiling point that she started screaming at me over the most bizarre things (like me saying "I love you" too often).

An unmedicated person who isn't taking their treatment and health seriously is absolutely no candidate for any kind of a relationship. I got this girl a job, loaned her money, gave her a cheap place to live, gave her emotional support, put up with her BS, drinking, passing out, blacking out, clipping her head into every kitchen appliance in the house and the floor when drunk, the embarassment. Now she leaves me a note saying that she hopes I die and starts spreading rumours around that IM the freaking alcoholic. (I had to carry her military medic style to bed 4-6 nights a week blacked out - I actually got into the habit of texting her each night after I got her to bed to let her know what she may have forgotten). She said I was a psychotic narcissistic person and a bunch of nasty things.

They need to be taking treatment seriously and otherwise they are not suitable for a relationship with anyone. What a horrible disease of the mind.
P
says:
August, 26 2016 at 2:13 pm
To "D" thank you for your honestly... Sadly most don't know how to seek God in this situation because they don't know Him... His name is Jesus Christ Creator of the world.. "Seek the Kingdom of God first and all things will be added into thee" Matthew 6:33 . Call upon the name of the Lord and be saved. God created sex for within the bounds of marriage but Satan corrupted and distorted it and we are living in this very fallen world with fallen bodies bent towards sinful desires.
Joe Stork
says:
August, 21 2016 at 4:05 am
Reading more of the comments above. I have to admit I'm dying knowing there are hypersexual who are not having sex . I would sex 3 times a day, 7 days a week....but I'll never meet these women.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Beverly Busque
says:
April, 30 2019 at 7:16 pm
I am 58 and I can relate to these post, feels like your living in hell
Joe Stork
says:
August, 20 2016 at 2:42 am
Katy. I just read your post you wrote on August 7...Son only 13 days ago. This thread is from 2014 but I just found it.

I am male 52 and bipolar 2 with hypersexuality. I feel and do 100% of what you wrote. I'm on med and my shrink said he could give me a drug that would help chill me out..but I said no because I don't want to be a zombie. On the other hand I've been married for 24 years and have not had sex in 4. And 5 years ago we had sex maybe 3 times, so really 5 years in a sexless marriage. Basically my wife got all fat and angry and I couldn't get it up. So it's depressing and well. I don't have answers just wanted you to know you are not alone.
Joe
Katy
says:
August, 7 2016 at 5:30 am
Hi
I know this is a pretty old post (well I think it is, I'm really not that used to paying attention to dates and I've never really posted anything this personal before!), but I literally feel compelled to comment.

I am in utter chaos at the moment - it's the only way I can describe it. I am ridiculously distracted - far more than usual and I can barely string a coherent set of thoughts together. I am barely keeping it together in front of my children. I am a single mum with three children; 7, 11 and 16.

I have been diagnosed with BPD and I take meds for anxiety and depression - I have done for nearly twenty years (more on than off). I am 37.

I have been aware of periods when I have a very strange feeling about sexuality. I will watch porn and masturbate regularly. It's not enough. It's like the orgasm is totally pointless. I am a recovering alcoholic and I feel like I know cravings and obsessions. I struggle massively with spending, eating and other maladaptive coping strategies.

But the 'sex' thing is literally pushing me over the edge. My thoughts are utterly dominated by fantasies and thoughts of sex with a particular celebrity. I feel so ashamed just writing this - teenagers get 'obsessed' with boys in bands, not women hurtling towards their forties.

The feelings are overwhelming. Trawling the Internet for pics and watching YouTube clips obsessively. I spent hours the other day reading fanfiction (dubiously 'erotic'). I have even been writing some.

I love writing and often journalise feelings and moods. But my writing at the moment is kind of 'sensuous' (cringe). As was mentioned in the initial post, I literally FEEL sex running through my veins. My heart beats faster and I feel incredibly turned on. But there's literally nowhere to go.

I have always loved sex, although since adolescence I have had a weird relationship with it. I've never been able to make a meaningful connection between sex and love, or even emotions. It has always been a purely physical thing.

I doubt this will be read but if it is, advice would be so gratefully received. I've not had sex or any intimacy in five years and I'm not about you go out seeking 'real-life' sex but I'm really struggling here!

Sorry to rant X
michelle
says:
July, 1 2016 at 4:11 am
I see it has been awhile since anyone has posted. I understand so many of these posts so very well. I was diagnosed with bipolar when i was 39 and i'm now 49. I don't know what to say or how to start to describe myself.
I am very hypersexual right now and have been actually for months. It is really driving me crazy...bad phrase i know.. I can't concentrate on anything and it is all I think about. My fantasies are wrong and I feel guilty but i can't help myself. I can only pleasure myself for so long before It just doesn't work. I am married and have been married a long time to some one who is asexual i suppose. It has been 10 years he has withheld sex from me and 28 years of withholding affection. He is a good guy but I'm constantly in a state of should i stay or should I go now. I've begged and pleaded, we have talked, well i have talked but he just brushes me off. I'm not asking for marriage advice. Just want to share how painful it feels when you are desperately wanting something that you will never get. I have always been a very sexual person and with bipolar look out. I've only strayed once and the guilt was imeasurable but here i am in a chronic state of needing sex. I didn't know it would be so physically painful. It hurts so deep to want something so bad. I'm like a few above who said it is so hard to be satisfied because just a little release only helps for a few minutes. I wish there was somewhere we all could openly discuss our problems with this. Sex is such a big thing in our culture and there is no where to talk about problems that present with hypersexuality. Thanks for listening to my gibberish. I'm all over the place.
K. wildfang
says:
May, 8 2016 at 1:28 pm
Love this post thank you. Apparently I've been suffering from this for almost forever. I remember the symptoms starting in middle school, but I thought it was hormones so I ignored it. But here I am in college still feeling this way. I found out about nymphomania but I wasn't having sex so I dismissed it. But here I am today recovering from a desire to have sex with a I saw in a grocery aisle in that said grocery aisle.

So far my coping system for this is my crippling fear of getting knocked up.

Mind you though it sounds nice it really isn't espically if you cant find relief. Its annoying and distracting and probably a 1/3 % fuel for my rage attacks.

And too you people wanting to try and take advantage of bipolars remember its a POSSIBLE symptom and you will still have to deal with all the other symptoms of your partner. Tred wisely
maurice
says:
April, 27 2016 at 12:13 pm
Not bipolar but affected by someone that is and this topic. I know they are seeing the doctor due to anger rages and the last few rages she has had is due to this topic. I suggested today to address hypersexual due to her boyfriends demands I happen to know and a friend along with another friend. I care about this lady and we have a bond. Refuse to comply to her advances due to this topic. All I can do is to suggest her to get help. She took my advice on anger rages she said she would on this topic. Refusing to take advantage of her as well. I'm the 1 getting my phone blown up 24/7. None of her relationships last. Any suggestions once the bottom blows out ?
Frustrated Partner
says:
February, 28 2016 at 7:26 pm
Very helpful information, now how best to deal with a partner? His hyper sexuality during these times can make me frustrated with him...flirting with other women, sexual conversations with a stranger at a bar, it makes me feel like I could be anyone, just a body to have sex with, and those feelings keep me from having sex. Then he gets upset and tells me he'll just have to masturbate and I get more frustrated at his state and feel worse. (feeling like what's the point of me being involved, he only needs to get off in any manner, I just happen to be here) It creates angst, tension and I'm not sure how to resolve. Trying to have discussion during this time will also end badly. Do I just try to understand and get thru this time period, and ?? He is not on any meds, acknowledges manic depressive situation, refuses treatment. Any feedback at all would be appreciated.
Aeon Jiminy
says:
February, 25 2016 at 8:36 am
Very helpful information. Thanks.
Insatiable
says:
October, 18 2015 at 5:21 am
Been coming out of a 3 year depression since May of this year. Feeling hyper sexual for the last couple of weeks. Still taking Lamictal (one of the few meds that doesn't completely kill my sex drive) but dropped the Abilify (tired of the way antipsychotics, major tranquilizers, make me feel). Been on benzos (minor tranquillizer) for anxiety which has lowered my inhibitions (sort of like alcohol does). Have an insatiable desire for sex lately that nothing seems to satisfy for very long. Normally I'm so depressed that I have almost no interest in sex at all. I am truly grateful that feeling has finally lifted. Horray! But now I have the opposite problem. All I can think about is sex, sex and more sex. I know I'm becoming manic, but I simply don't care at the moment. It's just nice to feel good for a change and I want more of that feeling!!!
J
says:
December, 3 2014 at 8:56 am
Hoping this is still monitored, but my wife has suffered from depression most of her life. Recently she has had a lot of medication changes and a lot of ups and downs. She is seeing a doctor and therapist, but she mentioned today that she is scared she may be bipolar. She works in a Mental Health Hospital and knows her stuff. Recently she has been VERY Sexually active in new ways with me and as I read the symptoms of Bipolar 1 I see a lot in her and her actions.

She is not sleeping around and is scared I will leave her when she has these down times (which I will NOT DO)

Would this increased sexual drive (all towrds me) still be considered hypersexual???

I guess it would, but Im just scared she might be right that she is bipolar (which her father is diagnosed as)
Kay
says:
August, 1 2014 at 5:11 am
Scary- think I have been suffering (?) this for over a year pretending nothing is wrong. I am best friends with my right hand, need some toys to relieve RSI from relieving myself!. Have managed to keep my behaviour under control but it's pretty much all I think about. First thought hypomania might be an issue when I saw my doc for anxiety which I thought was hormonal (I am perimenopausal)- doc brought it up I'd never heard of it . I enjoy feeling this sexual. (Have always been into it) but really relate to Nikki saying she has to self please for two hours in the morning..and noon..and afternoon.....and....I don't know what to do- have been on a heavy dose of valproate for epilepsy for 30 years so can only imagine what heavier doses of thus type of meds might do. Am listening to music and writing, reading and songwriting at 1 in the morning- cycle between this and anxiety. At 49 I have turned into a fifteen year old. Hard to work and run a household too. Can't concentrate, pick fights with husband (who does not appreciate my horniness what is it with mismatched libidos? ) so hard to find good info on this. Anyway just letting off steam before.. Well u know..before letting off steam :)
Some Chic
says:
June, 30 2014 at 11:47 am
I just found out recently from one of my good guy friends that he is a "nymph" or satyriasis. We were texting for about an hour when he said he needed to pleasure himself because he was getting turned on by texting me. He was worried that he would start asking me for pics and stuff so he stopped himself, we were also just talking about normal stuff not sexting or anything that "creative". When he was explaining his situation he said that he gets sexually perverted around all his friends that are female, he also told me he has ruined many friend and relationships because of it.
The way he explains it is, 'a nymph is someone who is constantly horny, which is me. And it sucks because I can't control it and I have to leave every female because I get super perverted.'
I have never met him in person, but I'm worried if he should see someone. I don't know if he is bipolar, but I know that some reasons for becoming a satyriasis is because of abuse or mental damaging situations. He has been through a lot in the past 5 months that I have been talking to him. He is 16 and I am 14. I have been researching about this so that maybe I could help him, and have found out that through the ages of 15-21 is sexually prime for men. Remember I have never met him and he knows when to stop texting me, and that I have only found this out recently. Any suggestions or advice? It could help me out.
Just Diagnosed Bipolar 2
says:
June, 6 2014 at 3:21 pm
I've recently been diagnosed and I just stumbled across your post. In reading it I felt like you were inside my brain...it was weird. Then I read what great judgement you've shown and I wish so baldly I had done the same. Great read. Very informative. Thanks.
TW
says:
June, 2 2014 at 7:37 am
Hy Nasasha;

Hy as in Hyper-fill-in-the-blank.

My thing today is that I know I am in that mode - I am so - how shall I say - needing a wonderful writhing on whatever surface - floor, ceiling, walls...

Like you - I am way too smart [for my own good - tending to out guess myself] Yet control is an issue as I am attempting to NOT give in - to let it pass and have never successfully done so.

Bipolar for me cannot be the excuse with an explanation. I simply would love to have my partner back - the one who like me - would never say no and usually encouraged my advances...

Yet - I am attempting to set a boundary with myself and my 'desire' unhealthy or not.

Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance.
aanthony
says:
May, 6 2014 at 10:14 am
Sally any help is appreciated I thank you all and I cant say I sorry for how use feel I cant even imagine. 1 more thing I told her it was 2 months ago we were talk about marriage she say 4 but she is always get year mix up like she dont rember how old she was what her parents divorced is that part of it bipolar thanks again for everybody's help and you to Sam special
aanthony
says:
May, 6 2014 at 10:08 am
Sam I thank u so much for answering me. But there is a little more. After the consoling thing she said she wanted space. That when I stared reading more about the disorder and they all said compliment her so in the morning on way to work I tell her nomal this how beautiful She is and domt worry about your boss your great at what u do those kids r lucky to have u. And they r she is always asking people for they old clothes she takes them in for kids the need it and she dont have a very stressful job but she wanted space and I kept text asking for me to take her out just to talk and I pushed her so far away I dont think she will ever talk to me again. But u see 3 years ago I was in a work accident and was with my company 4 or 5 years. Now what we do can be da like othet but anyway a guy was with me his was 53 and my boss he fell 60 feet he didn't have his harness hooked up I did. Now that being said I have to live with that and I ok from that but I know if I would have took a sec and looked I would have said something to him because that is what we all do. Now she get me just about every sigm she could bit I was so busy working trying to save money get a rong for her everything I miss them. Now that is why I kept text her and I cant help her because she wont let me and I have the same felling I did 3 years ago. But worse because I love her I can help but she won't let me and now wont talk to parents wont do anything even tho they r kinda part of the problem because they like to drink. Witch is fine if u can handle it she said she will get a pfa on me I say to her I just wanna talk I just wanna be heard but she won't budg at all 2 months we were talk about starting a family and she wont look at me. I just dont know how she can just walk away and I know she did love me to because she would put little notes in my lunch and she knows I save them all I tell her its been over aonth and I cry every time I think of her witch is all the time now just yesterday she told me to stop living in the past and there is so many more thinks we complemented other I told her we are soulmates and I'll wait forever for and I'll always be there for her she told me she don't want my helpI don't know what to doany help Antappreciated
Sam
says:
May, 6 2014 at 12:54 am
Anthony, from a bipolar persons perspective I can honestly say you need to get her away from alcohol. I can't even count the number of times I've had major episodes just because I was hanging out with my old boozing buddies.

Alcohol and alcoholics and like magnets to abused people because it gives off that idea that you will have fun if you just keep drinking. Meanwhile the alcohol is getting together with that voice in the back of your head that says "Hey, you know they are judging you" and "You shouldn't do that because you'll be a burden on someone you love".

This situation would probably take months of therapy to "fix" but the bottom line is, alcohol = bad times. Hope this helps.

P.S. Also sorry if I step on anyones toes by answering to this, I sorry.
aanthony
says:
May, 5 2014 at 9:56 am
Hi I am tony. I have a question about being bipolar? I better first off start by tell you I am not. For what its worth I am sorry for those who are from the bottom of my heart. Now my question is it better going through this alone expecting this illness or with someone who loves you like a boyfriend you live with. Here is what is going on with me. I was dating a girl for a little while a month or so we were ok but it just seemed like she had a wall up and I told her I will knock it down eventually and she will open up to me. And I do demolition for a living so it was a little joke for us to. Then some things change in her apartment it change owners this guy put in electric heat and I told her she could live with me she was reluctant to till she got her first electronic bill when it started getting cold. So after 4 months we are live to gether. It was going really great we were on love were like 5 or 6 month datingtalk about getting married now so we know shes 36 I am 30 so we t not to to young. And we had a pretty bad winter yhis year lot of snow and I was working a lot of overtime and I drive a long distance sometimes. She is a school teacher not only a school teacher but learning support teacher for kid with dyslexia and things like that and I have that also. So I am on cloud 9 here a woman 5 feet 10 inches blond I wont day her weight she would kill me but she has every right curve in every way I am not kid from head to toe mind body and soul she is my dream girl I couldn't draw an better. I mean we had some ups and downs but I believe she is my solo mate. We had a fight then she told me she was bipolar and I like ok I love we can get though anything toget I told her we can take on the world if she has my back and I have her. But she always said I was given her a giult trip if amd stuff like that and I am not very good with how a say things and I away told her that before u tjink I am being mean 99 percent of the time I probably meant it from a good place. Now it is Saturday night and she was upset all week and its like 7 at night and we r going to get out of the house she didn't care she just wanted to get out and do something ok so we get her dog who I also fell in love with and we r going to her moms and stepfather house and we all get along great. She call because I said I was hungry and see if they want to go they all ready ate and we r like two miles from there house so I pulled over at yhis little store to talk to her because we also talked about hoing to my one buddy's 7 house . So I pulled over and that quick she she said why did u pull over I said to talk. To I and make sure what u wanted to do grab something quick or a mice place she start getting mad telling me thats what her dad use to do to yell at her . But any way we had a nice dinner and when we were leaving I dont know what happen she got mad and she stayed at her moms .then the next day I called her and asked if she want me to bring her medicines to her she said yes and I did then the next day she eants space I text her back can we go for a nice dinner and talk I just want the last thing u remember of us to end well cause the last two didnt then she say we r not doing it when tony says anymore I said to het what its for us next thing dhe is telling me I am control and I know where she got it from her and her mother and sister in law we're drinking one night and her mother said that she they both need to be more like a sister in law and she took offense to that cuz she desperately wants her mother's approvaland I know she went to counseling twice in two years but that's it that her mother drink a lot and that's where she's staying causing it all and the times we have problems usually alcohol was involved my girlfriend can't do that and nobody else with the help I don't know what to do I can't let her crash because it could jeopardize your career if she had a breakdown I just wanna do and I love her so much there's anything any advice you can give me appreciate it thank you
john
says:
May, 4 2014 at 5:07 am
I have the same thoughts. Sex has always been at the top of my list. Anger, quick thoughts, spending, changed mind, nice here and angry there, creative, never sleep, and very religious. I am very succesful, well liked, and very determined. I struggle with this on a daily basis. My wife knows and my two kids know I dont handle my strange self properly. I am faithful, but thoughts in my head are extremely sexual. I cant stop at times. Then it goes away and I am focused once again. I am a rollercoaster. I have great self control sexually. My wife is the only one I have been with. My thoughts have always been elsewhere. What medication and dr. Should I see? Your help is key to my misery. Thank you.
Nikki
says:
April, 23 2014 at 9:02 am
"The feeling alone won’t destroy your life, but your actions can."

This is what I came here to find. I have a tendency to feel as if the way it is now is the way it's going to be forever. My sense of time in manic episodes is so skewed.

Been with my serious boyfriend for over a year with little to no problems, but this morning I woke up and had to self-please for 2 hours before feeling vaguely satisfied.

But that isn't really the problem, though. What brought me to tears was the insane thoughts I was having while masturbating. I couldn't stop imagining his friend. While it's fairly normal to imagine people other than your SO during masturbatory sessions, this one felt different. I had the dangerous thought of driving over to see his friend at work. Not to do anything, mind you, but just as a flirtatious "I was just thinking about you and you have no idea," kind of thing. This is very uncharacteristic of me. It's not been very long since my diagnosis - maybe 3 years, and this is the first time trying to handle the episodes while off the meds completely.

After my doctors prescribed me literally everything they could feasibly try, I decided to try and naturally process my episodes by talking with my boyfriend and friends to calm myself down. So far so good, but I think the real test is about to come (stupid pun). I still can't shake the feeling of wanting to hide this morning from my boyfriend. I feel like he'll be devastated. I'm so sick of this illness. I feel as though I've already cheated. It's so easy to feel as if the worst imaginations in your mind are simply things that haven't played out yet. It's exhausting.

Thank you for this article. My big worry is always that this will last forever and rip apart my relationships, but my feelings for my SO's friend have been extremely minimal and almost non-existent until now. I have to believe that they will go away once the mania does.
"D"
says:
April, 3 2014 at 10:28 pm
Hypersexuality is a term I learned only after the largest storm of my life. I am talking about a six-month, anyone-can-get-it sex binge, all while taking meds to bring me out of the mania Cymbalta threw me into. I talked with my doctor shortly after the first month on that medicine and told her that I had had sex with 13 different people, men and women, that same month. Depression diagnosis out the window, enter Bipolar disorder.

The meds were changed, but the dosages were not strong enough to pull me out of this fun new world that I had entered. I managed to keep a boyfriend for about the first three months, who managed very well to give it to me real real REAL good 2-3 times a day. However, it was not enough. After a good hour and him sweating, once we (he) finished, I would masturbate. This had happened occasionally in the past, leaving men wondering "didn't I do a good enough job?" Pornography viewing almost all day was coupled with ceaseless masturbation. I fell in love with myself and the power I felt. No amount of sex was ever good enough, and broken "dates" left me infuriated and looking for someone else in a hurry to help me get my "fix." Men, women, couples, gangbangs, orgies, 2-3 different meetups in one day...I think you get the picture. Stuck in this mania, I lived my own little porn movie, with me as the insatiable star. As I traveled up and down the highway, 2 hours in one direction and two hours in the other, meeting people I may have chatted with only a few times, it occurred to me too many times that I could be killed and no one would know where to find me. That thought, however, was not enough to stop the out of control engine that was my libido. It wasn't until I decided to double my dosage of Abilify that i was able to slowly come out of the manic fog that was composed of the countless individuals I had used like tissues.

Reckless behavior, poor, poor judgment, risk-taking, pleasure-seeking behavior. This is my bipolar and how I learned the meaning of hypersexuality.

Whatever you get yourself into, God can get you out of, but only if you want His help, and you have to take the first step. Bipolar is not a death sentence, and you do not have to be a prisoner of your episodes. I have learned this after much trial and error. The life I lead now is much different with knowledge under my belt and a good doctor who listens and has helped me to know myself better.
bob
says:
March, 7 2014 at 6:44 pm
I cant believe there is soooo much talk but nothing really to go by. It would be nice if someone with half a brain would say something besides just vague nonsense. hypersexual what the heck does that mean ? that she wants it once or twice a year or 29 hours a day? And if she only wants it 15 hours a day why on earth cant one man satisfy her ? The message I get is that bipolar cannot get enuf sex from one person so they go all around town but because none of you give out any real facts all I can do is guess. One bipolar woman says she just likes it for maybe one hour a nite ! Is that what you are calling hyper sex ? You gota be joking----so please get real and lets have some real facts to go by.
Kathleen
says:
February, 8 2014 at 3:07 pm
My son's girlfriend is bipolar. Son's friend told my husband she would sleep with anybody, even my husband. She has always worn low-cut tops. Adjusts her bra to make her breasts more appealing right in front of me. She is in her early 20's. She has a daughter and it scares me. She won't keep her house. Sink is always full of dirty dishes and the baby does not get a lot of baths. It's disgusting. She has been on meds for quite some time, but seems spacey a lot and not driven to do any work at all. Scary. Also, she dances the pole, (stripper), occasionally in spurts. Her own family distances themselves from her. I cannot see this getting any better in the future.
judy
says:
July, 11 2013 at 7:36 pm
I am not sure being extremely intellectual and excessively controlled would be enough! Mania seems to manifest excessive behavior that is not how the person is normally. But I do agree that impaired judgement and impulsiveness that often goes with bipolar mania does create the perfect storm.

I don't think that a certain type of person is prone to it. I've heard of deeply religious people who experienced bipolar hypersexuality, when manic. Whether you can control hypersexuality, out of control spending, etc., while manic depends on whether you are aware of your bipolar disorder or not. Unfortunately, people don't often find out until it impairs their life or unless you're experiencing psychosis.
Guy
says:
July, 11 2013 at 6:42 am
I was diagnosed as having bipolar type 2 with cycling , I also have adhd and suffer with depression .I have been acting very inappropriately in a sexual way ,i'm married but I have been going on chat sites and talking about things of a sexual nature , I was keeping this secret from my wife ,i'm now worried that this is something that is getting worse , is there anything I can do to stop these behaviours
Christine
says:
July, 10 2013 at 3:49 am
Thank you for this article - I am with my bipolar boyfriend for a little over a year and this is the first time I have experienced this phase with him. It is exciting and awesome...but at the same time very scary. I am very much in love with ALL of him...good and bad. We openly talk about his moods, and knowing whats going on with him, I have been concerned about cheating. He swears he will not cheat - it is still very scary for me. I know I have seen an increase in his "talking" to other girl "friends"...and an increase in porn. How can I help him reign in this sexuality? I make myself readily available...as much as possible.
Paul
says:
June, 8 2013 at 12:01 pm
Sh*t, I have just read these , and have realized this is me to a t. I am due to see a therapist next week and I think I will have to touch on this subject to get answers and a way forward
Glen
says:
May, 17 2013 at 7:31 pm
It's like you got a hair trigger,any woman you see or think about can trip your trigger,sorta like that song,"might as well face it,your addicted to love." What I'd like to know is,how come there is plenty of meds for E.D. ,but nothing for hyper sexuallity ?
Richard
says:
January, 15 2013 at 1:06 pm
Well for once I found a frank and honest article on hypersexuality, feels like I've struck gold for all the searches I've done. Now I've had with my bipolar for a long time, usually I deal quite well, distracting myself etc. But even with an increase in anti psychotic meds my libido is getting worse. I honestly feel that everytime my mood goes up, so do other things no pun intended. But each time, its getting that little bit harder to control.

Now reading the advice here is great, one of which I picked up on was the network idea. The only issue I have there is obviously this network has to be made up of friends or family that can openly discuss such things. Not only that but in terms of 'talking' I have to make sure my wife is ok with me revealing details of our relationship as that is obviously effected by hypersexuality. I suppose what I'm looking for is some advice of how to approach this, I have a friend in mind to start but obviously just walking up to them and discussing this isn't easy for me, not to mention that it has the potential to make anyone feel a little unconfortable. Annoying really as I'm one of those 'open' people in regards to talking about sex, but I have to accept not everyone is.
Quiet Contemplation
says:
July, 17 2012 at 5:38 am
Ron, your wife also may have suffered some damage to her brain that is showing up now as erratic behavior. She could also have a blood clot causing issues with the brain. She really, really,really needs to see a doctor and get a scan done, as well as make sure the meds are not interacting badly with her body.
Natasha Tracy
says:
July, 15 2012 at 11:25 am
Hi Ron,

I'm sorry you (and your wife) are having this issue. Here is what I can tell you.

The origin of hypersexuality is often unknown, but obviously, in your wife's case it happened at the same time as her heart attack so the two would seem to be related.

You are correct that some medications can have the side effect of increased libido. I would say that it is unusual to see medication alone push a person into out-of-character behavior (like affairs) but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen. Everyone is different and everyone reacts to medication differently.

HealthyPlace has a database of psychiatric drugs, and you can look up their side effects: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/psychiatric-medications/psychiatric-medications-pharmacology/

For other medications, sites like rxlist.com have a more complete listing.

The trouble is, "hypersexuality" isn't what you're going to see on the list. It's considerably more common to see sexual problems listed rather than increased sexual drive. So in other words, even if the medication is causing it, you may not see it listed (or it may be listed using a word with which you are not familiar).

The best thing to do is to consult a doctor. I know you said your wife isn't interested in that, but it's really the only way to get a better answer. Your doctor will have clinical experience and will understand all the medical terminology used in drug materials.

But one other thing, is it possible that your wife's behavior is actually due to psychological causes? Is it possible that a heart attack made her face her own mortality and this brought about a change in the way she looks at certain things?

What I'm saying is, it may be purely psychological and no matter what, medication changes aren't going to help. Major life events, like a heart attack, can all make us question where we are and what we do in life. In this case, a psychologist may be able to help. Maybe couple's counselling - no matter what the cause - may be the answer. That way you can talk about how this is affecting you and so can she.

- Natasha Tracy
Ron P.
says:
July, 15 2012 at 10:00 am
I realize this is an older post and may not be monitored anymore, but I'm going crazy trying to deal with my wife's sudden, overwhelming need for sex, expecially with strangers. She had a mild heart attack in Feb, was catheterized and a stent was implanted, and she began taking several meds she had never taken before. Sex talk began in earnest in late April or early May, and the affairs began in June. Is it possible any of this is due to the new meds or am I just dreaming of an easy fix that doesn't exist? She won't agree to see a doctor on my say-so alone (I'm just her husband, and therefore, know nothing by definition), but may consider it if offered advice by a professional. I really love my wife, but this new obsession is creating more problems than I can count. Any advice would be welcome.
Natasha Tracy
says:
April, 24 2012 at 6:49 am
Hi Plumber,

Thanks very much.

- Natasha Tracy
plumber
says:
April, 24 2012 at 6:45 am
I have to say that for the past few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this blog. Keep up the good work.
Usually Cheerful06
says:
February, 27 2012 at 2:15 pm
Hehe

Thought the link “High-Functioning” Bipolar Disorder read High Fuc*ing Bipolar Disorder - amused me...
Sam
says:
October, 30 2010 at 3:16 pm
Thanks for discussing this, I didn't realise only women can be nymphomaniacs....
Dr Musli Ferati
says:
October, 27 2010 at 5:48 am
Sexual life and sexual activity are sensitive as well as provocative issue for individual and social function of everyone; especialy in primitive sociocultural environment. In term of hypersexuality, the chalenge is more complex. I remind one woman in old age with hiperxexuality personal past history who complained of multiple somatoform disorders. In this case, by my mentor, the adecuate treatment is antipsychotic treatment for example Tb. What is Your experince?
Richard J.
says:
October, 18 2010 at 6:56 pm
I haven't asked about it yet. I was kind of lucky & skipped having to many partners at once. Mostly in relationships when ever it would kick in, or like you were saying( writhing on the floor) or cleaning something. I have used drinking at the pub to curve the urge, playing one of the video games they have on the bar.Wow talk about intense, top score on many of the games, during that period. I got stuck on one woman so for a long kept clean then she was around again Way cool now after real manic episode she is just a "friend" /"mentor'. Which is good to I guess, yah right. Starting to babble now been lightly manic for a week or more. I like Mind blowing, it settles my mind.
Richard J.
says:
October, 18 2010 at 6:54 pm
I haven't asked about it yet. I was kind of lucky & skipped having to many partners at once. Mostly in relationships when ever it would kick in, or like you were saying( writhing on the floor) or cleaning something. I have used drinking at the pub to curve the urge, playing one of the video games they have on the bar.Wow talk about intense, top score on many of the games, during that period. I got stuck on one woman so for a long kept clean then she was around again Way cool now after real manic episode she is just a "friend" /"mentor'. Which is good to I guess, yah right. Starting to babble now been lightly manic for a week or more.
Natasha Tracy
says:
October, 18 2010 at 10:36 am
Hi MMC,

I'm not sure that it's a frequent question doctors ask. However, it is only one characteristic of mania/hypomania and so each person may or may not experience it.

- Natasha
Natasha Tracy
says:
October, 18 2010 at 8:21 am
Hi Douglas,

Yeah, that was a new word for me too. It really tells you something that everyone knows the word for a hypersexual woman but no one does for a hypersexual man. (Nyphomania, of course, was considered to be quite the illness in women.)

I'm glad you liked the post. Thanks for the comment.

- Natasha
MMC
says:
October, 18 2010 at 6:03 am
Never been asked about this by a doctor. I'm actually asexual so don't jive with this aspect of "bipolar"...

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