Relationship Derailment

I don't want to hear, "But, you don't know what he or she did!" Blame in a healthy love relationship doesn't work!

Relationship Derailment

There is a payoff for everything you do. The payoff for pointing a finger at your partner and blaming him/her for your relationship condition is: you don't have to take responsibility for your share of the problem.

Relationship problems are shared problems. To manage the complexity of a stormy relationship you must accept responsibility for your share of the problem. When you can do that, the problem is half solved. Not only will this change you, it will change your relationship with your partner.

Perhaps your relationship deserves a powerful new focus.

Ideally, having a partner who understands the concept of team and the responsibility that goes with it contributes greatly to creating an greater attitude of team, which sheds light on solutions instead of keeping the focus on the problem.

True love allows for disagreements. Acknowledging when you are wrong is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength.

If your relationship is off track, the cost of complacency is obviously substantial. Waiting for your partner to "come around," may prove futile. Go first. You must take the first step while you are still afraid. Doing so helps to inoculate your relationship against a relapse.

Your relationship priorities are clear now, right? Go first and do what's right! It will make your perceptions clearer, your judgments sounder, your life work better and you will be closer to your heart's desire; a healthy love relationship.

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, November 7). Relationship Derailment, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 13 from

Last Updated: April 27, 2015

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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