Can You Change Your Abuser?

HealthyPlace Mental Health Newsletter

Here's what's happening on the HealthyPlace site this week:

Can You Change Your Abuser?Can Love Make The Abuse Stop?

There are many reasons why victims of domestic violence stay in an abusive relationship, but one we don't talk about much is the abuse victim's feeling that they have the power to change their abuser's behavior. Our abuse blogger, Kellie Holly, notes that it's not unusual for victims to feel that if they just love the abuser more, then the abuser will change his/her behavior. Kellie says empathy for the abuser's own childhood history of abuse becomes an excuse for his/her present day abusive behavior. In other words, the victim feels sorry for the abuser and feels leaving will be another "hurt" in a long list of hurts the abuser has suffered.

The fact of the matter is, no one can change another person's behavior. If you're in an abusive relationship, that's something you should seriously consider.

Related Information on Mental Health Treatment

Your Thoughts

Today's Question: What was your reason for staying in an abusive relationship? We invite you to participate by commenting and sharing your feelings, experiences and knowledge on the HealthyPlace Facebook page.

Help Spread Awareness of Mental Illness

Get Our Mental Health Blog Widget

Over 340 sites and blogs are helping spread awareness of mental illness. How about putting our mental health blogs widget on your website, blog or social page? The latest HealthyPlace blog headlines appear as soon as the articles are posted on our site. Just click "Get Widget" at the bottom of the widget, grab the embed code and paste it into your page. You'll also see embed links for Wordpress, Blogger, Linkedin and other social sites there.

As a bonus, put the blogs widget on your site or blog, email us (info AT with a page link where it appears, and we'll give a shoutout to your site, blog, or social site on our Facebook and Twitter pages.


Share our Stories

At the top and bottom of all our stories, you'll find social share buttons for Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Pinterest and other social sites. If you find a particular story, video, psychological test or other HealthyPlace feature helpful, there's a good chance others in need will too. Please share.

We also get many inquiries about our linking policy. If you have a website or blog, you can link to any page on the HealthyPlace website without asking us beforehand.

continue story below

Most Popular HealthyPlace Articles Shared by Facebook Fans

Here are the top 3 mental health articles HealthyPlace Facebook fans are recommending you read:

  1. Types of Personality Disorders
  2. I Have Bipolar – Will Anyone Ever Love Me?
  3. Depression… Will It Ever End?

If you're not already, I hope you'll join us/like us on Facebook too. There are a lot of wonderful, supportive people there.


Mental Health Experiences

Share your thoughts/experiences with any mental health subject, or respond to other people's audio posts, by calling our toll-free number (1-888-883-8045).

You can listen to what other people are saying by clicking on the gray title bars inside the widgets located on the "Sharing Your Mental Health Experiences" homepage, the HealthyPlace homepage, and the HealthyPlace Support Network homepage.

If you have any questions, write us at: info AT


From the HealthyPlace Mental Health Blogs

On all our blogs, your comments and observations are welcomed.

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments at the bottom of any blog post. And visit the mental health blogs homepage for the latest posts.


Stand Up for Mental Health

Thousands Have Joined the Stand Up for Mental Health Campaign

But we still need you. Let others know there's no shame in having depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, trichotillomania, OCD, ADHD, schizophrenia or any other mental illness.

Join the Stand Up for Mental Health campaign. Put a button on your website or blog (buttons for family members, parents, mental health professionals and organizations too). We also have covers for Facebook, Twitter and Google+.


How to Teach Your Child to Have Real Relationships in a Techno World

When so much communication occurs in text clips some children learn to only feel socially safe in shallowness. The Parent Coach, Dr. Steven Richfield, shares some advice to help your child for the social life online and help them avoid scams and predators on the internet.

Latest Mental Health News

These stories and more are featured on our mental health news page:

  • Weather and Violence. Relationship Between Extreme Climate and Human Conflict.
  • Shorter Workweek May Not Increase Well-Being
  • Does Media Violence Lead to the Real Thing?
  • Mental and Substance Use Disorders 'Leading Cause of Non-Fatal Illness'
  • Depression Affects Men Just As Much As Women
  • Improved Pediatric Bipolar Screen Unveiled
  • Schizophrenia Genetics Come Into Focus
  • Inflammatory Status Upregulated in First-Episode Schizophrenia
  • College Bound. On the Road to College and Beyond
  • Save This Man! How Women Hijack Marriage
  • Heritability of Severe Mental Illness May Be Underestimated

That's it for now. If you know of anyone who can benefit from this newsletter or the site, I hope you'll pass this onto them. You can also share the newsletter on any social network (like facebook, stumbleupon, or digg) you belong to by clicking the links below. For updates throughout the week:

back to: Mental-Health Newsletter Index

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2013, September 2). Can You Change Your Abuser?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 30 from

Last Updated: September 4, 2014

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

More Info