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Why Can Giving Affection Trigger Verbal Abuse?

Why Can Giving Affection Trigger Verbal Abuse?

Giving affection can trigger verbal abuse in abusive relationships. Learn why abusers abuse us for loving them at HealthyPlace. Read this to learn why giving affection is your abuser's problem, not yours.

Giving affection to your abusive partner can trigger verbal abuse. Verbal abusers may lash out because they can’t give affection. Don’t get me wrong, they can provide acts of love when it suits them, but they aren’t able to give and receive affection mutually. Often, verbal abuse and problems with physical contact go hand in hand: abusers may withhold affection or contact from partners as punishment, or criticize them for being too affectionate or needy. But it all boils down to the same underlying problem. If there’s one thing my past relationship taught me, it’s that verbally abusive personality types can’t give affection in a healthy, mutually beneficial way, and this is why.

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How To Respond To Verbal Abuse

How To Respond To Verbal Abuse

Learning how to respond to verbal abuse can improve how you handle hostile situations and increase your self-worth. Here's how to respond to verbal abuse.

Verbal abuse cuts deeply, especially if you don’t know how to respond to verbal abuse in an effective way. Arguments can be volatile with name-calling and blaming or more subtle like with passive-aggressive remarks or the silent treatment. One thing victims of verbal abuse come to discover is abusers are often irrational and unreasonable. The hostile language does not serve the purpose of getting a message across, it actually has nothing to do with what’s being said, it’s about the abuser’s need to gain power and control over the victim. Understanding the argument itself carries no real significance as the abuser makes it apparent that trying to reason or explain is useless. Learning how to respond to verbal abuse can alter the course of the attacks and help a verbal abuse victim regain his power.

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Are You Verbally Abused When You’re Sick?

Are You Verbally Abused When You’re Sick?

Being verbally abused when we're sick makes everything worse. Why does verbal abuse happen even when we're ill? How can you deal with being verbally abused?

Have you been verbally abused when you were sick? It’s horrible. We have enough to deal with when we’re sick without being verbally abused when we’re at our most vulnerable. Feeling unwell and physically weak makes us sitting targets for gaslighting, emotional abuse and manipulation because we’re less likely to put up a fight. But is this part of the attraction to perpetrators or are we just more susceptible to abuse when our defenses are down? Let’s examine what we know about verbally abusive personality types and why they target us when we’re sick.

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Toxic Relationships: Friend and Family Estrangement

Toxic Relationships: Friend and Family Estrangement

Toxic Relationships, Friend and Family Estrangement

Toxic relationships don’t typically begin as such; they develop with time, often leading to loss of friends and family estrangement (See how abusers isolate victims). Of course, they don’t begin this way because if you met a potential partner that made you swoon but then informed you that you’d likely lose all of your best friends and family members because of him or her, well, that’s an easy deal-breaker. So why do we ever allow toxic relationships to lead to friend and family estrangement?

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Verbal Abuse and Depression: My Story

Verbal Abuse and Depression: My Story

Abuse and depression commonly occur together. But is depression an inevitable consequence of abuse? Or are depressed people more susceptible to abuse? The link between verbal abuse and depression is well known, but I didn’t realize I had depression until my verbally abusive relationship ended and I felt suicidal. It’s hard to write those words because they feel so alien to me now, but it shouldn’t be. It’s the truth — a truth that will resonate with anyone who’s ever been told by the person they love most that they’re not enough: not thin enough, not funny enough, not smart enough, or not enough to make someone happy. But was I  always prone to these feelings of depression and hopelessness, or were they triggered by the verbal and emotional abuse in my relationship?

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The Codependent Love Addict and Verbal Abuse

The Codependent Love Addict and Verbal Abuse

Codependent love addicts hold behavior patterns that make them compatible with verbal abusers. Learn more about those patterns and the hope for treatment here.

Verbal abuse and the codependent love addict often go hand in hand. There are several different types of love addicts such as the obsessive love addict, the sex addict, the relationship addict, the codependent love addict and the narcissistic love addict. Some of the different types even complement one another like magnets with opposite charges, an obvious attraction with a force difficult to interrupt. The codependent love addict pairs both painfully and perfectly with the narcissistic love addict. Verbal abuse is a routine offense for a narcissist in a relationship and accepting abuse is typical for a codependent love addict. Discovering the signs and symptoms of a codependent love addiction may be illuminating as well as an important step toward recovery.

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Dreams About Abuse and How I’m Using them to Recover

Dreams About Abuse and How I’m Using them to Recover

Dreams about abuse play an active role in recovery from relationship abuse. As bad as dreams about abuse are, is there something positive to be said for them?

I still have dreams about abuse despite the abusive relationship ending years ago and the progress I’ve made in my recovery from verbal and psychological abuse. Sometimes I am trapped in a house with him, unable to escape. Other times the roles are reversed: I become the abuser, and he is the one begging for my love and respect. But then there are the nightmares — the dreams so violent and terrifying that they take weeks to shake off. I’m sure these forays into my subconscious are simply my brain trying to process what happened, but the dreams about abuse always take me right back to the way I felt at the time of the relationship abuse, and sometimes they’re just downright confusing.

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Build Self-Help for Verbal Abuse into New Year’s Resolutions

Build Self-Help for Verbal Abuse into New Year’s Resolutions

Self help for verbal abuse strategies empower you to assert yourself. Here are some New Year's Resolutions that teach you self help skills to mitigate abuse.

Resolving to learn self-help for verbal abuse in the new year can help you end next year in a better place. A New Year’s resolution is a personal promise we make with the intent to better ourselves, and New Year’s resolutions for those battling verbal abuse are just as important as any other resolutions we consider and commit to each year. If you’ve reflected on your year and thought you could really benefit from some positive change, implement solid New Year’s resolutions to improve the quality of your life: Promise to learn some self-help for the verbal abuse in your relationships.

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Movies Romanticize Abuse Against Women: What’s the Danger?

Movies Romanticize Abuse Against Women: What’s the Danger?

Movies that romanticize abuse against women are alive and doing well in Hollywood. Learn about the dangerous consequences of romanticizing abuse in the movies.

Violence and verbal abuse against women are romanticized in many Hollywood movies, but perhaps none so blatantly as in Fifty Shades of Grey. Unsurprisingly, given the story originated from Twilight fan fiction, the popular erotic novel and subsequent movie smacks of emotional abuse. What are the real-life effects of movies that romanticize abuse against women?

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Signs Your Best Friend Is Verbally Abusive

Signs Your Best Friend Is Verbally Abusive

Do you suspect that your best friend is verbally abusive? What are the signs that you're in a verbally abusive friendship? Find out all you need to know here.

Are you concerned that your best friend is verbally abusive? Many of us have had friendships with a certain person that leaves us feeling drained, continually frustrated, or wondering why our friend did that hurtful thing again – if these are thoughts that you’ve been having, it may be time to consider the signs that your best friend is verbally abusive. Verbal abuse is often thought to be most common in romantic or familial relationships, but those are not the only relationships rampant with verbal abuse; platonic friendships are just as open to the potential for verbal abuse — here are the signs that your best friend is verbally abusive.

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