As I sit down to reflect on the therapeutic power of spring cleaning and self-esteem, I am drawn into a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Growing up, I never realized the profound impact that tidying my space could have on my mental wellbeing and self-esteem. However, as I have navigated through life's challenges, I have gradually uncovered the transformative effects of decluttering and organizing my surroundings. In short, your self-esteem can be affected by spring cleaning.

For many individuals like myself, living with a mental health condition can sometimes feel like navigating a storm of chaos and uncertainty. These internal fluctuations cast shadows of doubt and insecurity over daily life. Amidst this tumultuous internal landscape, my external environment often mirrored the chaos within. Cluttered spaces became a physical manifestation of my overwhelmed mind, exacerbating negative thoughts and emotional states. 

How Spring Cleaning Lifts Your Self-Esteem

It was not until I incorporated spring cleaning into my life that I began to fully appreciate the potential for growth and healing that comes with the simple act of tidying up. Inspired by the changing seasons and the promise of renewal, I decided to embark on a journey to reclaim control over my surroundings and, in turn, my mental wellbeing and self-esteem through spring cleaning.

As I delved into the process of decluttering, I was met with a myriad of emotions ranging from frustration to liberation. Sorting through years of accumulated possessions felt like sifting through the layers of my own psyche, confronting buried memories and unresolved emotions along the way. Yet, with each discarded item and organized space, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, as if I were shedding the burdens of the past and making room for new beginnings. 

Spring Cleaning and Help Your Self-Esteem by Creating an Organized Mind

One of the most striking revelations I encountered during my spring cleaning journey was the profound impact that an organized environment had on my sense of self-esteem. As I transformed cluttered spaces into serene sanctuaries, I found myself standing a little taller, with a newfound sense of pride and accomplishment. The simple act of creating order out of chaos became a tangible reminder of my ability to overcome and effect positive change in my life. 

Moreover, as I surrounded myself with clean, clutter-free spaces, I noticed a remarkable improvement in my ability to think clearly and focus on the tasks at hand. This newfound clarity of mind enabled me to approach challenges with greater resilience and confidence, empowering me to tackle even the most daunting of obstacles with renewed vigor. Spring cleaning had improved my self-esteem.

In essence, spring cleaning has become far more than just a seasonal chore for me; it has evolved into a powerful tool for self-care and personal growth. Through the process of decluttering and organizing my surroundings, I have learned to cultivate a sense of inner peace and resilience that transcends the chaos of everyday life. Each dusted shelf and neatly arranged drawer serves as a testament to my strength and determination to thrive despite the challenges I face. 

As I look back on my journey, I am filled with gratitude for the transformative power of spring cleaning on my self-esteem. In embracing the art of tidying up, I have discovered a path to healing and empowerment that continues to guide me toward a brighter, more fulfilling future. 

Early this week at my meeting, we shared some of the toughest hurdles we've faced on our journey to gambling addiction recovery, and I couldn't help but notice that budgeting and debt managing emerged as a key theme. It's difficult to dig yourself out of debt and regain financial stability, especially if you don't know much about finance management. There are also limited resources on the topic aimed at recovering gamblers. This inspired me to delve deeper into the topic, as rebuilding finances was also one of my biggest challenges on my journey to recovery.

Debt Management and Budgeting in Gambling Addiction Recovery

Here are some tips that deal with budgeting and debt management in addiction that helped me along the way:

• Create a budget — Having a budget in gambling addiction recovery helped guide my spending decisions and keep me accountable. It provided a clear picture of my financial situation, allowing me to better understand how much money I have coming in, how much is going out, and what I need to do to grow my finances.
• Prioritize debt repayment — If you have debt from your gambling days, prioritize paying it. Many finance experts advise paying off high-interest-rate debts first — the debt avalanche approach. This approach reduces the total interest you pay in the long term and the amount of time it will take you to get out of debt.
• Track your expenses — The aim is to start and grow your savings and minimize your debts. To achieve this, keeping track of your expenses and identifying areas you can cut back is essential. Various apps help with tracking expenses. You can also use a spreadsheet. 
• Build an emergency fund — Having a safety net meant I could breathe a little easier. I knew that in an emergency, I could cover unexpected expenses without relying on loans. I suggest you aim to save at least three to six months of living expenses. 
• Increase your income — Look for opportunities to increase your income, such as freelancing. 
• Seek professional help — Finance can be challenging, and some approaches may need to be reviewed. Financial advisors and credit consultants can provide valuable guidance and support tailored to your situation to facilitate debt management in addiction recovery. They can help you develop a solid financial plan, negotiate with creditors, and offer strategies for long-term financial stability.

Budgeting and debt management in gambling addiction recovery can be challenging, but it is possible. With determination and discipline, you can regain control of your finances and pave the way for a brighter future.

Use Budgeting and Debt Management in Gambling Addiction Recovery to Rebuild Your Finances

Check out the video below for more on the topic:

See Also

• New Outlets in Recovery from Gambling Addiction
• Preventing Relapse in Gambling Addiction Recovery
• Overcoming Shame and Stigma in Gambling Addiction Recovery
• The Treatment and Prevention of Gambling Addiction

Handling others' reactions to verbal abuse can be challenging. Managing a verbally abusive relationship is difficult, especially when an outsider provides their opinion on the situation. Listening to reactions from others dismissing the severity of the problem can cause feelings of anger and resentment. Someone who is the regular target of verbal abuse may seek out support from others only to face avoidance or skepticism.

I've found that often, those who've experienced verbal abuse will unnecessarily assume responsibility for other people's feelings. This behavior is just one of the side effects that can occur from trying to live in a verbally abusive relationship. Unfortunately, I understand this scenario all too well. My abusers would make me feel like their negative emotions were the result of my actions, placing the blame on me. 

You Have No Control Over People's Reactions to Verbal Abuse

As a target of verbal abuse, I've spent many years trying to control negative situations and keep them from escalating. I tried my best to manage external factors so other people wouldn't get upset with me. This people-pleasing behavior not only hindered my coping skills but didn't generate the result I wanted.

The reactions to my verbal abuse story have sometimes been negative. These reactions have included feedback like: 

• You weren't abused. You were a happy child. I never saw any abuse in your home.
• Are you sure he meant it that way? Maybe he was just having a bad day.
• I can't see that happening at all.
• Can you block your post so (a particular person) can't see it? I don't want them to view (the abuser) in a bad light. 
• You must be remembering things from a past life. 

I became upset and frustrated when people didn't react to verbal abuse as I expected or wanted. I would try harder to prove my point of view and justify my actions. I thought I had to make everyone understand my position because they were making me out to be the bad guy instead of the abuser. 

People's Reactions to Verbal Abuse Isn't Your Responsibility

It took me years of therapy to realize that I have no control over other people's reactions to verbal abuse. I cannot make someone believe me or support me if they don't want to. I have had to learn how to grieve these relationships and move forward without these people in my life. 

Although having people around who believe in and support you is ideal for healing, not everyone will be on board with your healing journey. People will take sides in every situation, regardless of the facts. It may hurt to realize that a loved one is someone with a negative reaction to your verbal abuse story. You may not be able to trust and confide in them, but others can fill that role for you. 

Your healing journey begins once you stop trying to convince others of your worth. No one should have to prove themselves worthy or right when it comes to a verbally abusive relationship. So, if your loved ones don't believe you or want to support you as you build a life away from verbal abuse, it's time to find ones that do. You'll be better off as you navigate life and build healthy relationships.

Life has changed drastically since the COVID-19 pandemic; it's why the term "new normal" was used to describe the post-pandemic world. From work and education to social interactions and healthcare, virtually every aspect of life was affected. Although the World Health Organization declared the end of COVID-19 as a public health emergency on May 11, 2023¹, many of these aspects never returned to normal. In fact, the disease is around to date, which is why some people still wear masks in public spaces. Since the world went into survival mode for a couple of years, we didn't have time to process the monumental changes we were going through. But now that we are no longer in a crisis, I wonder if we have mentally adjusted to the new normal. 

How Normal Is the New Normal?

Generally speaking, what we consider normal today would have been labeled weird in a pre-COVID world. Take the case of remote work. I knew very few people who worked from home before the pandemic, and they often got judged for it. Today, however, working from home is not only considered normal, it is seen as a perk. Many of us now prefer remote or hybrid jobs to full-time office jobs.

While this may seem like we have exposure to a lot more opportunities, I feel that the trend of remote work has only made it harder to seek employment. While remote work makes it possible to work from anywhere, it also hinders employment because candidates from anywhere can apply for the same job. Previously, one had to contend with local talent, whereas now, the competition is global. I believe getting hired has become harder than ever, and the recent developments in artificial intelligence have only complicated matters. If you are lucky not to be in this position, check in with your family and friends struggling to find a job. Only a job seeker knows the mental health challenges that come with being unable to secure employment and having money troubles. And if you are a job seeker, remember to go easy on yourself. 

The new normal also involves coping with the sudden deaths of all the loved ones we lost in the pandemic. People didn't even get to say their goodbyes to loved ones, seeing as there were restrictions like limited visitation in hospitals and restrictions on gatherings and funeral services. All of this has complicated the already intricate grieving process, leaving many of us with unresolved feelings of guilt, regret, and anger, and a lack of closure. I lost a few relatives to the coronavirus, and even though I knew it wasn't possible at the time, a part of me blames myself for not seeing them one last time. I can only imagine the grief of the countless children orphaned by this disease. Besides revolutionizing work-life and unexpected deaths, COVID-19 changed the world in too many ways to list. 

Is It Possible to Adjust to the New Normal? 

I don't know if adjusting to the new normal is possible because it hasn't settled down and is still evolving. All we can do is try our best to roll with the punches. Check out my video below, where I talk about some ways to adjust to the challenges of the post-pandemic world. 

Source

1. WHO chief declares end to COVID-19 as a global health emergency. (2023, May 6). UN News. https://news.un.org/en/story/2023/05/1136367

I've found that self-care for premenstrual syndrome is critical. Hormonal changes from premenstrual syndrome (PMS) cause me to feel tired, bloated, sore, depressed, and sometimes angry. There are days when I can barely get out of bed. During this time, I feel guilty for not being productive. However, to manage, it is important to be kind to myself and practice self-care for PMS symptoms. Here are six ways I take care of myself during my period.

6 Ways to Practice Self-Care for PMS Symptoms

I manage my PMS using these self-care methods:

1. I seek support from my female friends. Talking to people who understand my struggle with PMS helps me feel less alone. My girlfriends share things that help them during their periods, such as baths, tea, dark chocolate, and heating pads. In addition to getting helpful tips from friends, we can joke about our periods. As they say, laughter is one of the best medicines.
2. I engage in creative hobbies. Light exercise is important, but sometimes my cramps are excruciating. Pain medicine does not always help. Creative hobbies like coloring, diamond painting, and writing relax me, which helps me feel better physically and mentally.
3. I practice thought reframing. Every month during my period, bloating makes me feel terrible about my body image. So, I often label myself negatively, which makes my depression worse. I reframe my thoughts by reminding myself that bloating is a natural part of the hormonal changes during my period. It will go away in a few days.
4. I listen to autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) sounds. Sometimes, brain fog makes it difficult to practice thought reformation and positive affirmations. So, I listen to soothing sounds and voices from ASMR artists. Some audio recordings are specifically tailored for PMS relief.
5. I try to stay hydrated. During my period, I often get migraines. When pain medicine does not help, I assume that they are caused by dehydration. While drinking water is critical, I do not like the lack of flavor. So I drink chamomile tea and hot chocolate. The warmth relieves my headaches and my cramps.
6. I allow my body to rest. Losing a lot of blood during my period depletes my energy levels. So when I feel significantly more tired some days, I remind myself that something isn't necessarily wrong with me. This is a natural part of having my period. So, it is okay to sleep more some days. By allowing myself to rest, I recover faster.

Those are just some self-care techniques for PMS. I will practice self-care in many more ways in the future, such as changing my diet and taking daily vitamins. Do you have any PMS self-care during tips? Please share them in the comments.

Improving interpersonal communication with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be a lifelong task. For me, interpersonal communication with BPD becomes a battleground where the stakes are high. One misstep could lead to unintended consequences, exacerbating my BPD symptoms.

Interpersonal Communication with Borderline PD: Passivity Versus Hostility

The inability to maintain harmony in interpersonal communication with borderline PD often comes at a cost: sacrificing one's true self. Over the years, I've found myself caught in a cycle of people pleasing, molding my responses to appease others at the expense of my integrity and authenticity. As a former chronic people-pleaser, I was bending over backward to accommodate others, suppressing my own needs and desires in the process. The facade of congeniality I presented masked the turmoil brewing beneath the surface.

On the flip side, there's this inclination with me, this urge to unleash my inner storm upon those closest to me. When angry enough, I would abandon the pretense and let words fly like sharp-edged arrows without a second thought. Rather than cultivating authentic bonds, my timidity in expressing myself and my penchant for fervent self-defense only led to strained relationships. I'd feel a sense of disconnect from everyone around me. I was teetering on the precipice of aggression, blurring the line between passivity and hostility.

Interpersonal Communication with Borderline PD: Assertiveness

It wasn't until I surrendered to the guidance of professional support a decade ago that I untangled the threads of interpersonal communication with BPD. With therapy as my compass and mindfulness as my anchor, I learned to champion my own needs while honoring others' boundaries. However, this transformation was no mere flick of a switch. Navigating emotionally charged dialogs felt akin to the sorcery of Doctor Strange, where time itself seemed to slow. This time gap gifted me the precious space to deliberate and intuit my responses.

Experiencing mindfulness in the middle of a BPD trigger felt like exercising a muscle I didn't know I had. Slowly but surely, I found myself immersed in it more deeply, even in the middle of my most turbulent moments, whether it was delving into eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, or confronting the truth during a heart-wrenching breakup, owning up to my flaws along the way.

Sometimes, this meant crying and experiencing the discomfort of showing sadness for once. Other times, it demanded the courageous act of excising toxic people from my life. Yet, through it all, I embarked on the sacred mission of fostering authentic connections and nurturing the seeds of genuine intimacy. My interpersonal communication with borderline PD improved. Ultimately, assertiveness empowered me to emerge stronger, braver, and infinitely more whole. 

Learning to trust yourself after trauma can feel like walking through a minefield. In my experience, if I take one wrong step, I fear my entire life will somehow implode. Even the most minor decisions send me into a fight-or-flight spiral. I deny my intuition and operate out of fear, craving a sense of security and certainty one simply cannot have in life. Learning to trust myself after trauma has been difficult.

It's been a challenge for me to feel fully present without this gnawing feeling in my gut. Am I heading in the right direction? Am I making the right choices? What if I screw up and somehow sabotage my entire future, unable to get what I so desperately want out of life?

These questions often keep me up at night. Learning to trust yourself after trauma is not an easy feat, and it's one I am still navigating.

How Trauma Making It Difficult to Trust Yourself

In my experience, I've carried a lot of self-blame and victimization for the roles I've played in my traumas. While my first trauma as a child was not my fault, I still struggled with shame, thinking I could have handled the situation better. I ridiculed myself for the ways I've coped with the pain and the patterns I've carried out. To this day, I sometimes still tell myself I'll be punished with more trauma if I make the wrong choice. I need to trust myself after trauma, but it feels like I can't.

Trauma has a way of keeping me small. It tells me I'm incapable of making my own decisions and tries to find proof that I cannot trust myself. However, I've learned the more I search for such "proof," the more I'll find. It's like a never-ending self-doubt spiral and a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

How to Trust Yourself After Trauma

Learning to trust yourself after trauma might feel uncomfortable at first. In my case, I looked to others for reassurance that I was making the right choices — that I was safe. While a healthy dose of validation was helpful in many instances, it also took my power away at times. I've noticed the best results when I sought objective insight from those I loved and valued — those who empower me to trust myself after trauma. On the other hand, I felt less empowered when I blindly followed the advice of those who simply told me exactly what I should and shouldn't do. Understanding the difference between the two is crucial. 

Sitting in silence with myself has gifted me the greatest sense of peace and self-trust. If you're wondering about the best course of action or decision to make, take a moment to close your eyes and breathe deeply. Propose the question at hand — what comes up? What are your instincts telling you? These should surface without fear, as anxiety can certainly cloud judgment. Focus on the calm thoughts that arise, and know that you are in control. Even if you know something intuitively but are not yet ready to trust it, give yourself time to process the information that comes up. This will help you build trust in yourself without a sense of urgency or panic.

Only you know what is best for you, and learning to trust yourself after trauma is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself and your recovery.

Learn more about how I learned to trust myself after my trauma by watching the video below.

Looking for a new job is never easy, but depression while job hunting is even worse. Being unemployed at the same time is terrible, too. Unfortunately, I have experienced that in the last couple of years. Getting lost in the cumbersome tasks of revamping my resume and applying for jobs is dispiriting. Thus, it becomes easy for job hunting to cause my depression to set in quickly.

Depression Affects My Job-Hunting

The depression that is fueled by rejection and the monotony of job hunting is a deep-rooted one. Until I am offered a job, as hard as I fight off the defeated feelings, depression still lingers like a little devil on my shoulder, similar to the ones in cartoons. 

Once the depression sets in, I experience a flippant attitude and feeling of hopelessness that tend to co-exist with my depression. I do not care about perfecting my applications or motivating myself to apply for jobs. Yet, in the back of my mind, I know that if I don't submit multiple applications, I will never find new employment. As a result, I would not be able to support myself and my kids with even the basic needs. 

These thoughts then push me over the edge, and I begin my spiral into a dark space that is even more difficult to climb out of. Some of my lowest of lows have been precipitated by job hunting. Avoiding depression while job-hunting is tough. 

Coping Skills for Depression Caused by Job Hunting

One of the most important things to remember when searching for a job is to be proactive with coping skills. Admittedly, I need to remind myself of this at least once a week. It is easy to get lost in the virtual world of job boards. I have been down many rabbit holes when scrolling through employment postings. 

My coping skills for job-seeking while depressed have to be strong. For instance, I will play relaxing music in the background while I work. Other examples are taking short breaks throughout the process or having sweet snacks on hand while sprucing up my resume.

Regardless, there are times when even my most solid coping skills are not enough. This is when I need to be mindful and know I must walk away. I must close the laptop and put it away for the rest of the day to recalibrate my emotional energy. 

All in all, one of the most humbling experiences of my 40s has been job hunting with depression. My age is a factor, and the skills I thought I excelled at need improvement. I sometimes look back at my education and skills experience and wonder why I am not getting interviews. Job hunting has tested my coping skills. Some days are better than others.

I would love to hear if any of you have advice or coping skills you have used to avoid becoming depressed when job hunting. 

It took me several years of personal growth and cultural awareness to realize there are systemic barriers to eating disorder treatment. My battle with anorexia was painful and tumultuous, but access to therapeutic interventions made the healing journey feel possible. While I am immensely grateful for this, I also cannot brush aside the conspicuous reality that certain prohibitive eating disorder treatment barriers still exist.

Eating disorder treatment methods were conventionally built for patients like me—and that’s a serious problem. This harrowing mental illness can hook its claws into anyone, so we need to talk about eating disorder treatment barriers in order to make healing resources more accessible and inclusive for all types of sufferers out there.

Becoming Aware of Eating Disorder Treatment Barriers

When I entered the intake office of an eating disorder treatment facility in 2010, the admissions process began immediately. As a sick teenager, this felt too overwhelming to comprehend, but now, as an adult, I recognize that my illness was taken seriously because I resembled a common anorexic stereotype. I was visibly frail, gaunt, weak, and malnourished—not to mention White and privately insured through both of my parents. 

That privilege fast-tracked me into a secure therapeutic environment, which ultimately helped me recover. But others are not as fortunate due to archaic stigmas or harmful eating disorder treatment barriers. Not everyone has financial or logistical access to the resources and assistance I received almost 15 years ago, and this inequity can lead to severe consequences. 

The Need to Confront Eating Disorder Treatment Barriers

Eating disorders are some of the most fatal psychiatric conditions, but over 80 percent of those who suffer do so without any clinical intervention.¹ Members of marginalized communities are often the most vulnerable to eating disorder treatment barriers. To give just one example, youth of color in low-socioeconomic areas are less than two-thirds as likely to undergo treatment as their White peers. Even worse, many receive no diagnosis at all.² 

These illnesses do not discriminate—all races, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, body sizes, age brackets, and physical abilities can be susceptible to eating disorder behaviors. As such, healing measures must reflect the specific needs of these various demographics, whose unique stories and experiences intrinsically matter. When we talk about eating disorder treatment barriers in our wider mainstream society, we can then mobilize to start dismantling them.

Sources

1. Fitzsimmons-Craft, E., et al (2019). Adolescents and young adults engaged with pro-eating disorder social media: eating disorder and co-morbid psychopathology, health care utilization, treatment barriers, and opinions on harnessing technology for treatment. Eating and Weight Disorders, 25(6). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-019-00808-3
2. Moreno, R., et al (2023). Disparities in access to eating disorders treatment for publicly-insured youth and youth of color: a retrospective cohort study. Journal of Eating Disorders, 11(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-022-00730-7

Unfortunately, retail and service workers are often the target of verbal abuse. No one deserves to be called names, insulted, or threatened, especially while doing their job. Sadly, verbal abuse in retail and service professions is becoming more frequent in many restaurants and stores.

Have you ever been angry because a fast-food restaurant got your order wrong? Were you frustrated because you couldn't find a sales associate to help you with an item? It's perfectly natural to have these feelings when facing challenging circumstances. However, taking out your anger and frustration on the employee isn't the way to solve the problem. 

People in Retail and Service Professions Don't Deserve Verbal Abuse

Everyone makes mistakes during their lifetime. No one is perfect while performing their job. Sometimes, retail and service workers will get a food order wrong or cannot fulfill a request you need. Although not ideal, these situations don't allow you to resort to verbal abuse. 

More public places display posters stating that verbal abuse towards retail and service workers will not be tolerated. These posters remind people to monitor their reactions when dealing with others. These visual signs also help to reinforce any consequences the business may follow if one of its staff is the target of verbal abuse. 

When I worked in the food industry, there were no posters to tell our customers to be civil to the employees. I was the target of regular verbal abuse when an order was packaged wrong, the change was incorrect, or something else upset the customer. Some awful statements I've heard through the years included:

• "How hard is it to get my coffee right? You've gotta be stupid to forget the cream."
• "I didn't get the right change. Can't you count properly? Did you drop out of school?"
• "If you can't do your job properly, I need to talk to your manager."

There Is No Reason for Verbal Abuse Towards Retail and Service Professionals

The world has many job types, allowing everyone to explore different skills. One thing I've noticed working in the food service industry is how some customers view the job. I've been talked down to in some situations because the customers felt they were smarter than me. They didn't find it necessary to treat others courteously, regardless of their position. 

Thankfully, I had some terrific bosses who reinforced our value and worth to the business. Without the employees, these companies wouldn't be successful.

I regularly share my experience in the food industry with my family and friends. I want everyone to understand that the people who serve your coffee or work the cash registers at big box stores are human beings deserving of respect. They are not there for you to verbally abuse, even if there's a problem during your visit.

If we all take a moment to take a breath when something upsets us, we can help lessen the effects of verbal abuse on retail and service workers.