Arguments in Relationships: Getting Through Disagreements
Learning to manage arguments in relationships is important to keeping the peace. It is totally normal to have arguments. Unfortunately, sometimes knowing how to handle a disagreement when you are in the moment can be challenging. There are a few different things I try to keep in mind when my boyfriend and I argue, and these things help the disagreement end a bit more peacefully. Read this article for advice on how to get through arguments in a relationship with your significant other.
What to Remember During Arguments in Relationships
Calmly Step Away to Gather Yourself
When you can see that an argument in your relationship is starting, take a deep breath and excuse yourself to another room. When two people are upset, it is extremely difficult to work through it right at that moment. It is important to be in a calm and healthy state of mind when talking through things in order to keep the conversation from escalating.
Do not take this as an opportunity to storm off and try your best not to raise your voice. Arguing never feels good, and doing those two things will just keep the tension around longer. Simply say, "Neither of us is in the right state of mind to be discussing this. I'm going to go to the other room to gather my thoughts."
This way your partner will know that you are trying to do the right thing, and you both can have some time to think.
Remember: It's You and Your Significant Other Against the Problem
If you are in a relationship, it should be a partnership where the two of you work together to come to conclusions. No couple is going to agree on everything at all times, but it helps to know that you two aren't against each other. No matter what the issue at hand is, the goal is to solve it. The goal is never about winning, proving someone wrong, or hurting the other person.
It helps to remember that the other person cares about you, and also keeping in mind that you care about them. The last thing you want to do is react when you are upset and end up regretting what you said after it is over. If you take a moment to step away and gather your thoughts when arguments in relationships occur, it may help you to remind yourself of this.
Get Through Arguments in Relationships with Compromise
This can be tricky sometimes, I know. You want what you want, and your partner wants what your partner wants. Instead of one person getting 100 percent of what they want, why not 50 percent each? It may not always equal out every single time, but it's a good goal to work towards.
If you take some time to decompress from the argument in your relationship in the other room, think about the other person as much as you think about yourself. Which parts of the issue are you willing to negotiate on and which parts would you rather not? Do your best to come to some sort of agreement that you can offer your significant other when you talk to them. Be ready to negotiate a little, as your partner may not be completely on board immediately.
If you consider these three things, hopefully, your relationship's arguments will be shorter and easier to get through. Keep in mind, these tips are geared towards small miscommunications or disagreements. If your partner is abusive or if this argument is over something that is big enough to end your relationship, it may be a good idea to reach out to a professional who can help you further.
Eaklor, B. (2018, August 5). Arguments in Relationships: Getting Through Disagreements, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, June 15 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/toughtimes/2018/8/arguments-in-relationships-getting-through-disagreements