Self-Harm, Self-Identity and Staying True to You

November 22, 2014 Jennifer Aline Graham

We all struggle with insecurities and maintaining confidence. Even the most confident individual feels flawed and anxious from time to time. It’s difficult to constantly look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are without finding something to bring you down. For those who have self-harm scars marking their skin, it can be more than difficult to accept the person you are and to see the strengths you hold.

Many of those who self-harm, of have self-harmed in their past, have struggled with accepting their self-identity and seeing their self-worth. Since depression and other mental illnesses are often involved when it comes to self-injury, it may be tougher to see past those factors. Many use self-harm as an outlet when battling inner demons. This often results in forever scars both in mentally and physically.

Accepting Yourself Can be an Ongoing Battle

I’ve always been a very quirky person. My personality has always been a little odd, awkward and silly and, for most of my life, I have accepted it without trouble. However, I sometimes tried to change my personality for those around me – especially when overcoming self-harm. At that time, I was unsure of the person I was and often distracted myself from those thoughts by cutting my skin. As time passed, I realized hurting myself wouldn’t make me any prouder of the person I was.

Ignoring your self-identity can lead to a lack of confidence and self-harm. Stay true to you and your identity to help defeat self-harm.And I desperately wanted to be proud of myself.

Recently I’ve been feeling as if I need to silence some of my uniqueness due to those around me in certain situations. In these specific situations, the expressions and body language of those around me have made me feel as if my goofy personality is too much for them. I also believe that there are other reasons behind the expressions I get; but because of these incidents, I’ve been trying to lessen the intensity of my personality around them. This has led to my being a completely awkward and uncomfortable person, which I think is bothering them even more.

Well, one thing is for sure, I’d rather be the person my loved ones have come to adore than the awkward, off-balance person I turn into from time to time.

Staying True to Your Self-Identity is the Key to Confidence

I need to embrace my self-identity at all times, not just when I’m around my loved ones or in a comfortable place. It can be tough being your true self around people who don’t fully understand you, but it’s important to work towards allowing yourself to be that person. Once you allow yourself to free your inner spirit, you can conquer whatever you set your mind to.

With that mindset, I need to walk into these situations and ignore the petty expressions aimed towards me and be the person I’ve grown proud of. I’ve received so much praise in the past for the positive attitude I can have that I don’t want to disappoint those people and I definitely don’t want to disappoint myself.

Be who you are and don’t fear how others think. Look in the mirror and say aloud the positive aspects about yourself and carry those with your for the remainder of the day. Don’t let the negatives you see in the mirror turn into self-harm or other self-destructive behaviors. It isn’t fair to those who truly care about you and it isn’t fair to you – and you are who really matters.

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APA Reference
Aline, J. (2014, November 22). Self-Harm, Self-Identity and Staying True to You, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, May 7 from

Author: Jennifer Aline Graham

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