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Coping with Depression

The self-stigma of having depression never really goes away. It is always there, scratching at the back of your mind, a constant reminder that you are weak, incapable, unworthy, fake, undeserving, lazy, ashamed, broken . . . the list goes on. The self-stigma of having depression can present itself whether you're feeling up or down.
Birthdays don't have to be depressing, do they? I celebrated my 49th birthday this past week and while I enjoyed a plethora of happy birthday wishes, I also dealt with an unexpected drop in my mood. It may be perfectly normal to be introspective around your birthday, to examine your life and consider your future options, but when those thoughts become repetitive and persistent, that's when you have to do something to break the cycle. (Depression Fuels Itself Through Negative Thoughts)
When a depression trigger sneaks up on you, there is no time at all to prepare yourself. I suffered such a depression trigger this past week that sent me down a very dark rabbit hole, very fast.
We've just turned our clocks back marking the end of daylight savings time. While the nights will be darker sooner, the mornings will be brighter. For a short while. The truth is, with the end of DST comes the season for Seasonal Affective Disorder (winter depression).
Winter can be so depressing, can't it? I live in the great Canadian north. Well, not too far north. In fact, I live near Toronto, which is just one hour north of Buffalo. Still, in the winter, the nights get pretty darn long and the often times below zero days, are gray and snowy and downright depressing.
Whether you are a depressed woman facing what could be several years of menopausal symptoms or a spouse/partner living with said woman, there will definitely be challenges. Depression on its own is bad enough, but add the complications of menopause to it and you get a veritable soup of sorrows.
Oversleeping is my way out of depression. That's not so odd seeing that sleep, whether it is too much or too little, can be a symptom of depression. For me, I could never get enough sleep. That is often still the case, a keen reminder that I must always be aware of the symptoms of depression that affect me. Depression makes me want to oversleep to numb the pain.
There comes a time in your life when you just have to say, “ENOUGH!” There IS something wrong with me. Life isn’t meant to be this dismal… is it? Perpetual sadness, prolonged fatigue, joint pain, headaches, muscle ache, lack of motivation, lack of decision-making ability, lack of focus, indifference, being antisocial, moody, emotional, guilty, having low self-worth, thoughts of suicide, planning suicide… all symptoms of depression.
Parents want the best for their children. So, it’s a sad and guilt-ridden moment indeed, when you realize that you have passed mental illness on to one or more of your children.
It’s surprising how quickly depression's ups and downs can get you. It’s almost as if, you’re going along feeling pretty good and then WHAM, depression slams into you and says, “Now, now… you have chronic depression, remember? You’re not allowed to feel too good.” That’s the depression roller coaster.