When you disconnect from your truth, your wants and desires, the things you know are good for you, then you aren't showing up for yourself, and that decreases your self-esteem. Saying "no" to your workout, pressing the snooze button, or putting up with a difficult boss, are small and yet significant ways one doesn't show up. Bigger circumstances can be staying in a dead-end job, a bad relationship, or avoiding your intuition. Ask yourself, what does the kid inside you deserve?  That little 6-year old who wanted to be an astronaut, president or teacher, would you show up for him or her?

If you are like me, you want to make sure those around you are happy. We strive to keep peaceful relationships in our lives and often assist others in need. Hey, we care about them right? The problem is if you always feel compelled to help or overextend yourself, it can come at the expense of your own happiness. That's what usually happens to a people pleaser.

The ability to cope ahead in situations that can be emotionally triggering is invaluable. Think about going home for the holidays. Almost everyone I know has some stress when thinking about the travel itself, let alone the dynamics in their family system. Just thinking about it may stir up some anxiety. By being aware of our vulnerability factors and having a tool kit of skills and resources available to you ahead of time, you'll feel in control and confident. When we handle situations poorly or let our vulnerability get the best of us, we are likely to feel regret, defeated, and a lack of self-control; all of which effect our self-esteem.

Building self-esteem involves reprogramming negative thoughts and feelings about yourself. We cannot simply replace the negative statements. They have been living with us for a long time; for some, a lifetime. Using affirmations can help reprogram these negative thoughts and allow you to consciously and subconsciously focus on the positive, which is a valuable tool in building self-esteem.