Acknowledge the Trauma of a Suicide Attempt to Move Forward
Trigger warning: This post contains a frank discussion of suicide as it pertains to the trauma of a suicide attempt.
Finding self-love after a traumatic suicide attempt seems like a daunting task. After all, of the many thoughts circling the brain after an event of intended suicide, very few of if any are positive. It's more common to feel fear, shame, and misery. And though the immediate hours, or days, or even weeks after such an attempt may be filled with distractions or adjustments, eventually the question will arise–can I ever learn to love myself after the trauma of a suicide attempt?
Acknowledge the Trauma After a Suicide Attempt
An incredibly important thing to remember after a suicide attempt is that it is a trauma. Yes, it is a self-caused one, let's put no buffers around that, it's the truth. But nonetheless, it is a life-changing event that is incredibly difficult to process. Suggesting anyone begin the journey towards self-love after the trauma of a suicide attempt is already a difficult task, but when we are carrying unprocessed trauma, it's downright impossible. It's like asking ourselves to climb a mountain carrying a backpack full of bricks. (We all carry a few bricks, nobody is baggage-free, but a whole backpack is way too much.) You have to lessen the load before you can begin the climb.
How we choose to process an event like this can vary, but here are two suggestions:
- Start therapy. The hard truth is that the things in your head were or still are bad. Bad enough you made the assessment that ending your life sounded more appealing than continuing to live as you have. Therapists are trained to understand this stuff, and if you find a good one, you're going to get to explore yourself with an expert team-mate. It's worth it. (I suggest looking into eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), a type of therapy designed to help process trauma.)
- Don't waste energy pretending everything is okay. Though you may be experiencing deep shame around your suicide attempt, trying to hide it is exhausting and, frankly, unnecessary. When we try to hide mental issues, we add to the belief that such things in our society must be hidden. Many of those bricks in your backpack come from trying to stay hush-hush about this event. You don't need to start a podcast or scream it from the mountaintops, but a suicide attempt is now a part of your history–accept it, stay open about it, and release the fear that people will find out. (Also, from a practical standpoint, the people around you probably know about it already, these things spread like wildfire.)
I discuss recognizing the trauma after a suicide attempt more deeply in the following video:
Moving Forward After the Trauma of a Suicide Attempt
One of the most important life skills we can learn is how to accept responsibility for the things we do. Have you ever met someone who refuses to admit they are anything but correct? We have a natural reaction to these people–we stop wanting to connect with them. Instead, we reach towards the people who are able to admit fault and still be okay with themselves. These are the people who have learned self-forgiveness.
After a suicide attempt is a time when we can learn to tap into self-forgiveness. It's not easy, of course, but there is incredible power in learning to release the self-blame that often follows a suicide attempt. We learn to tell ourselves that life is filled with stumbles and falls and that we can't prevent them all. We can only pick ourselves up and keep going.
How are you moving forward after experiencing the trauma of a suicide attempt? Let me know in the comments.
If you feel that you may hurt yourself or someone else, call 9-1-1- immediately.
For more information on suicide, see our suicide information, resources and support section. For additional mental health help, please see our mental health hotline numbers and referral information section.
Mahrer, B. (2019, September 19). Acknowledge the Trauma of a Suicide Attempt to Move Forward, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, November 29 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2019/9/acknowledge-the-trauma-of-a-suicide-attempt-to-move-forward
Author: Britt Mahrer
I attempted suicide 3 times, the first 1 I didn't tell anyone just slept it off but the next 2 were bad enough to put me in a medically induced coma for a week the first time, this was 1o years ago and I havnt dealt with it, now it's back in my head after recovering from a codine addiction, a bad 1, I'm sober now my mind is awake and all I can think about is waking up from that first attempt, I don't know how to live myself, I don't know who I am anymore, I know my brain had bn damaged in some way, I'm not the same person anymore, my heart stopped, I had a 16 hour seizure, my brain must of had some lack of oxygen, I really would love to talk to someone who understands, I can't move on with my life till I deal with it, I just don't know where to start or what to do, I do t want to die but I still don't want to be here either, I knew I was in a coma nd when I woke up it was horrible, worst expeof my life, but my Dr's won't do anything, I'm trying to research this stuff on my phone I don't have a computer, it's making my head hurt, which I have had bad headache since and again my Dr's won't listen because I was an addict, I'm not anymore, I want peace in my life, but I won't get it till this gets sorted, I remember a coma dream, my mind feels like it's going crazy, I crave the oblivion of the coma, I won't do it again but the thoughts are in my head every minute of everyday, I talk about it all the time but I'm not moving forward with this, can anyone help?
3 days later, I'm still processing it and only feeling underlying guilt over the fact of being emotionally void and not considering the impact on my sons, who I'd never intentionally hurt. Haven't been functioning or working since.