Bipolar: Wired and Tired
I have this thing, and I don’t know if it’s the bipolar, specifically, but I get wired and tired at the same time and it sure feels bipolar-y to me.
Bipolar and an Anxiety Overdose
If you’ve been reading me in the last little while you probably recall that I’m in the process of buying a condo. This is a very exciting thing that feels like a massive ball of stress. And on top of all the condo buying chores I’m also putting in a kitchen island (Ikea to the rescue, yes, put together by me), doing presentations, trying desperately to keep up with my writing, I’m sick, oh, and folks from New York are coming next week to film me.
I’m swamped. And I’m beyond stressed. I don’t think they’ve invented a word that fits how I feel at the moment. It’s an anxiety overdose.
Bipolar: Wired and Tired
And when things are like this, I tend to get really wired. A little hypomanic-y. It’s sort of a cross between hypomania and severe anxiety. It’s like my inner cells are vibrating slightly. I have an exaggerated (seriously exaggerated) startle response. My thoughts are running at such speed in my mind that they collide and send fragments all over the place making my brain virtually unusable.
At the same time I’m exhausted. I want desperately just to calm down for a few hours and sleep but with all the vibrating cells that just doesn’t seem likely. I also tend to feel the over-emotional-ness of depression at the same time as well. And seeing as I can’t rest I tend to get sick, get headaches and the like.
Wired and Tired: A Bipolar Mixed Mood?
I wouldn’t call it a bipolar mixed mood and I think, classically, it couldn’t be diagnosed as one. I would call it fairly normal, human stuff except for the extremes at which I feel it are not particularly normal.
I suspect it’s symptoms of the bipolar popping up in weird ways. Which is standard practice for bipolar disorder.
What to Do about Being Wired and Tired?
I can tell you what I do, but I’m not suggesting it’s a defined best practice.
I use the wired energy to the best of my ability, often doing things that don’t require a lot of thinking (because that’s seriously hampered) or increase my stress level, such as packing. And then, when I can’t take it any more I take an anxiolytic medication (antianxiety) PRN (as needed) and rest when there’s a hole in my schedule. It’s the only thing that allows for the rest I need in the extenuating circumstances of extreme stress.
So, tell me, do you ever feel wired and tired? Does that feeling last for days, weeks, longer? What do you do about it?
Tracy, N. (2014, October 15). Bipolar: Wired and Tired, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, July 20 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2014/10/bipolar-wired-and-tired
Author: Natasha Tracy
I've recently discovered a free counselling service run by a local university but there's usually such a long wait list for this sort of thing and even when you finally do get in to see a student counsellor it usually takes too long to find a modicum of relief. (Besides this service is only available from Sep to Jul). By then the help needed is so far past it's due date that any help offered seems grossly inadequate. Also I don't like the idea of being recorded for "training purposes" and watched behind a two way mirror. It's much harder to be open in this type of scenero. But I think I might give it a try anyway. I'm getting desperate. I see my doctor again in a couple of weeks, maybe he has something else I can try in the interim. I really loathe the idea of ending up in hospital again. Being in hospital makes me feel so vulnerable and has a tendancy of crippling my already wavering self esteem.
I hope I don't crash into a deep depression after this like a have in the past. I am usually depressed this time of year. I almost don't want this energy to end even thoughts I have lots of anxiety with it.
Yeah "vibrating cells" is a perfect discription.
Anxiety plus overtiredness I compare to babies fighting sleep.
I fight sleep I want it but can't calm down. I am that way tonight too.
Thanks Natasha for a fantastic blog - you always show me I'm not the only one...
As I'm sitting here I looked up at Hanna's post and feel exactly the same. Of course I can empathize with everyone(except the obsessively cleaning the house). I wish I could have the energy for that.
This month, on meds and feeling much more stable, was the first time I really made it through the other end of the stressful time at work still feeling stable and like I was able to handle it. But it's funny because during the most stressful week of the busy season this month, I was going out every night with friends, planning way too many things, being hyperproductive at work, and then would sleep, sleep, sleep and struggle to get up in the morning because I was so exhausted, but wired at the same time. My psychiatrist asked me if I was manic, and I felt like, yes, in a way, but it felt like it was more related to the stress than occurring naturally. I felt the meds were doing a whole lot to stabilize me, and I made it through a million times better than I would have 6 months ago, but it's funny what the stress does to my bipolar brain.
Thanks for posting this and helping me understand it a little better through you experience! Glad to hear you're taking care of yourself and good luck with the condo! :)