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Embrace the Benefits of Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has its benefits. Here are five ways in which we can enjoy the benefits of borderline personality disorder.

Believe it or not, you can embrace the benefits of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Borderline sufferers know the drawbacks of the diagnosis. On top of experiencing the difficult symptoms firsthand, we’re also bombarded with BPD stigma, insults, premature judgment and ostracization. Most of what’s written about BPD is negative in nature — borderline sufferers are portrayed as dangerous, irrational, impulsive, and hopeless. This is not one of those articles. This article is about embracing the benefits of borderline personality disorder.

Benefits of Borderline Personality Disorder

We are resilient.

If you know someone with BPD, you can bet they’ve been through the wringer, battling things like drug and alcohol addictions, self-injury, suicidality, and eating disorders. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, the majority of us are also trauma survivors. If non-borderline people were given a day to walk in our shoes and feel the emotions, thoughts, and urges we experience on a daily basis, we’d soon be regarded as warriors.

Living with BPD is a full-time job. If you consider how much borderlines accomplish on top of managing their symptoms, you would see that our survival is nothing short of miraculous.

We are empathetic.

The internal and external turmoil borderlines face leaves us poised to empathize with those in similar situations. Behind the scenes, we flock to each other, offering one another a sense of belonging and freedom from stigma. Once we learn effective coping skills, we can pass them on and advise those who remain stuck in the muck of the disorder.

We are creative.

High emotional intensity needs a release. Some turn to substances and self-harm to soothe themselves. Once borderlines learn to manage their emotions, however, they’re better able to channel their intensity into creative endeavors. My borderline friends are musicians, painters, dancers, performance artists, writers, and actors who put the entirety of themselves into their work.

We are intuitive.

Borderlines notoriously pick up on other people’s emotional states quickly and, often, inadvertently (The Anxious Empath: Anxiety And Other People’s Feelings). This tendency is generally learned in childhood when sensitivity is coupled with an unpredictable environment. Our intuitive natures may overwhelm us, but should be regarded as a gift. We’re more aware of people in distress and can treat them accordingly instead of accidently bulldozing over their pain.

We are passionate and loyal. 

Getting on an unskilled borderline’s bad side can cause a world of problems, but when someone with BPD loves you, they love you deeply. Yes, many of us struggle with attachment and fears of abandonment, but these are ultimately unskilled manifestations of our love. On our good days, we are lively, sexual, funny, and intelligent. The more skilled we become, the more these qualities tend to dominate our personalities.

A Final Note on the Benefits of Borderline Personality Disorder

Please trust that people with borderline personality disorder are well-intentioned. The sadness and anger we sometimes exhibit are equally matched by our exuberance, happiness, creativity, and compassion for others. We are healers, we are lovers, and, above all, we are survivors. Strip off the stigma and give us a chance. Remember: there’s no such thing as a one-dimensional being. We are always more than a diagnosis.

Find Emily on FacebookInstagram, TwitterGoogle+, and at her blog.

24 thoughts on “Embrace the Benefits of Borderline Personality Disorder”

  1. At the age of 19 I was diagnose with BPD. Before than I was diagnosed with Major Depression at the age of 15 my emotions were so overwhelming I tried anything I could think of to take away whatever it was I was feeling. Now that I look back I believe it really started in my youth-childhood years. I can remember at the age 8 how depressing life became when my parents divorced. Seemed as if everything went down the drain. My step dad molded my mother and siblings life with the false promise of what is a family. Good times turned hard and heavy. Sometimes sleeping without lights and water. Yet going to school with a stench and getting picked on and having to handle what people assumed of you. Transitioning from private to public school wasn’t easy. Taking on more responsibilities with a single mother working double shifts were the worse and painful watching her cry when things are due and not really Understand how who was once beautiful inside can turn so mean but I didn’t understand the pain from the point she was standing in. having to remain the backbone of them all created something different inside. You never really realize that you fall into a disorder until someone else has done notice what is not “normal”, which I thought was . My mother believe in letting us go places or leaving without her being around or without notice, half the things my old friends experience I was forbid never went to a teen club or things in such manner that my peers would do. Church was what I knew until that stopped. I drifted away from reality into isolation little by little never really realizing. I started cutting myself to replace emotional pain with physical pain crazy as it sounds but if felt good then you would have something to distract you from what you really feeling. I remember how much I use to relapse and the feeling of hopelessness most had me the edge, I could remember my big cuz telling me that if I keep doing that I’ll hit “that main artery and bleed out, it’ll be over after that and no coming back,” the cuts and my arms were filled with them and this particular night I wanted too I cried and prayed telling god I’ll do what he want me to do if I COULD JUST MAKE IT THROUGH I didn’t want to go to hell for taking my own life and the thought of never coming back for good. You want a break but you can’t have it doing it that way . Normally many people wouldn’t know much of what you keep behind closed doors because you supposed to keep it together and have things going accordingly in the sight of the people who doesn’t live with you but even the ones who sleep next door to you wouldn’t know much about what’s going on with inside of you . Negative thing about bpd you find yourself very sexually active just to replace much of ptsd and Mdd . But it’s true once you awaken from illiteracy you learn how to cope with life and the pain it may bring at times. It’s really how can you survive through great matters in life. Everyone is different, unique and beautiful in their own way. Everyone body function and fluids are operated in its own nature. I do believe God Makes and gives battles in life to the ones who can handle what life throws at you . You can bend but it’s up to you if you let it break you. Rejection (getting played) on isn’t something I care for. I grew up to give even if it’s my last because once you been somewhere you can relate and understand the sorrow of the other person. But my problem that I learned is giving too much of and not enough in return but then again when it’s truly coming from the felt of your heart that’s the best feeling when you can contribute without looking for anything from in return but knowing you gave to give a good reason. Wash away naysayers although they have purpose to teach you how to ignore & still kill with kindness (not intentionally thought, your still coming from a negative aspect if you really think of it) and focus on what keeps you going and alive . Life is meant to be felt, experience , expressed, and LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY!

  2. My wife has the highest qualities of a BPD, but due to my depression and PTSD from military, my rejection, insufficient affection & itmacy and rage because of frustration, she left me a year ago and has had multiple online relationships, for which she would disappear for weeks at time and life a double life of adultry. How can I lovingly tell her about her BPD HAS created this false sense of worthiness, abandonment and need to get affection from any other man without regard we are married and she needs help?

  3. This is just what I wanted to read and start seeing more of. I hate all the negative things people say about people with bpd o was told I had it when I was 19 im now 28. I’ve bin threw hell but now im started to see a light. Not get so up and down . Come off my meds and feel a meaning to life. This is the one mental disorder you can grow out of and not have the trates to fit it anymore. Anyome reading this I just want you to know it gets better and you get stronger. It’s just learning how to cope better when bad things happen. This made me smile . Ignore all the negative things focus on positive. Evan when times go dark remember the sun always will shine again xx

  4. Thank you so much! It gives me hope Im often criticized and im working so hard to change. Im exhausted and hurt by mean ppl. I really live this and feel like this is more how I feel then the opinions of what ppl post that have no clue what i experience and so intensely passionate about the feelings of others i have. Ty

  5. I was recently diagnosed with BPD as well. Thank you for this. Been a hard transition, and not an easy thing to tell people, but this gives a more positive view on it. Finding the positives in things is key!

    1. That is no one’s business but your own. Stand tall and be proud of who you are. Live (safely) with no regrets and know that people love you for who you are-disorder or no disorder. It is not your fault.

  6. i love this so much that i wanna share it out in the open with anyone and everyone. but i won’t, because my boundary-blindness scares the bi-jesus outta me. : ) thank you, i hope you’re doing well today < 3

    1. This article is remarkable, I just recently been diagnosed with BPD and am having a extremely hard time taking it all in .how ever this is helping to soothe some pain 🙂 thank you so much !If any one has any other helpful tips or anything please let me know asap !!!!

      1. do you still use xxx or have you to cope .but not too much i wnet too the docs ..i sufferd 14 years .i just hang it out as im strong…when it first hit me i wanted too kill myself…i cant writ as much as i wish as it goes on dailyxxxxxx.stay strong we have strong ming=ds

        1. You are a sweet person to always put others first. You are worthy and beautiful and kind. Please love yourself. I hope you can see the beauty within yourself that I can. Don’t ever regret the things you do. You are powerful and others know it.

      2. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are a beautiful person. Don’t let psychiatry tell you what you are. You are a lovely person who can literally feel the pain of others. This is not a common or easy feat. You are special. Embrace your difference, love yourself. I love you.

    2. Be proud of who you are. Be proud that you feel strong emotions. You are a beautiful person, my love. Love yourself.

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