How to Feel More in Control of Time

January 22, 2020 TJ DeSalvo

Do you ever feel in control of time, or do you feel like you'll never finish everything you want to do?

In my last video, I touched on the notion of being anxious about never feeling like you have enough time to do what you want. Because there was only so much I could fit into a short video, I wanted to discuss in a little more detail how to feel more in control of time.

Why We Don't Feel in Control of Time

I can only use my personal experiences in talking about this, but I feel like enough of you will have parallel experiences so as to make it feel worthwhile.

I have a ton of hobbies. I’ve got over 1,000 books in my library, and over 1,700 albums in my music collection. I love video games and anime. I’m a fan of film and television. I try to write regularly, and I enjoy video editing.

Devoting yourself to any one of those hobbies could potentially be a lifetime endeavor. But trying to balance all of them? It can feel impossible. And that’s not even taking actual adult responsibilities or social time into the equation; this is purely personal hobbies. Granted, I understand that I’m complaining about an embarrassment of riches, but if you’re passionate about something, you want to feel like you’re devoting enough time to doing it. So often that doesn’t feel like it’s the case.

How to Feel More in Control of Time

When I start to feel out of control of time, the first thing I do is remove myself from anything that could potentially make me feel any more out of control. Usually, that means going into my room, turning out the lights, getting under a blanket and turning on some relaxing music. Note that this is a good strategy to use anytime you feel stressed, whatever the context.

Now that I’m removed from any other potential stressors, I can easily be alone with my thoughts and give them the scrutiny they deserve. The reason why I so often feel so out of control of time is that I can’t do everything I want to do. But say, somehow, I could give myself enough time to do everything. What, really, would that change in the long run? I’d be happier, I guess. I’d feel more accomplished. But is there a way I could feel happier and more accomplished without having to do all of that?

The answer is certainly yes. Take reading, for instance. There are thousands of books I’d love to read. If I’m only thinking about that, then I’m never going to be happy, because I’m just going to be occupied with the books I haven’t read; basically, I’m being consumed by what I’m not doing.

I think it’s much healthier to instead be consumed with what you are doing. Forget about everything you haven’t done, and focus intensely on the thing you’re reading right now. So what if you don’t end up reading as many books? Isn’t it better to enjoy what you’re doing in the moment than to always be haunted by what you could be doing in the future?

Training yourself to live a more fulfilling life in the moment will make whatever you’re doing feel more satisfying. The thousands of books you still need to read won’t matter, because you’re so consumed by the one you have now. They’ll get their time, and when they do, it’ll be just as satisfying as what you’re reading now.

What do you do to feel more in control of time? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

APA Reference
DeSalvo, T. (2020, January 22). How to Feel More in Control of Time, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, February 22 from

Author: TJ DeSalvo

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Lizanne Corbit
January, 27 2020 at 6:28 pm

Ah, the golden moment - "But is there a way I could feel happier and more accomplished without having to do all of that?", so true! I love your awareness for focusing on what you can be doing, and not what you can't, or aren't. This is such a game-changer, and it can be applied to so many situations.

January, 27 2020 at 10:24 pm

I really appreciate the kind words. It's funny hearing it described as a "game-changer" - for me it just feels like common sense.

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