Reader's Questions About Guilt Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety
I love when reader's ask questions about anxiety. I want to write about what you want to know. Anxiety symptoms and treatment can be very specific to the sufferer, but I will try to answer so that most readers who experience anxiety can take away something. I had two questions last week. Here is the first one:
Guilt Anxiety: When You Are Obsessive About Guilt
What do you suggest for the following. An incident will occur or I create one in my mind with a perceived thought from someone’s ‘way’ of putting something and my mind takes off…..they do not like me or I said something that was not called for. I still do not really know the answer to my obsessing/fretting but somehow it lasts from 10-15 years, to a week or less even, to a couple hours. But some stuff comes up from 20 years ago. It goes into the sick feeling and the ‘sinking’ feeling and there are many triggers that bring it up at any point in time! Like sound asleep and wake up and Bam! It is the first thought in my head and down I go for long lengths of time. I can tell myself over and over the facts are not there/imagined but then my mind just takes off again. Sometimes in a matter of seconds. This all makes me sick, wastes hours of time, seems and is never ending and I am at a loss of what to do. Anyway I think you get the picture. My anxiety comes in from all angles…perceived, real, unreal, etc. Thank you for listening. That is important but then people get tired of hearing me and spout to let it go. Keeping it inside is a killer. Again, thank you, Love Joe
Sounds like guilt has seeped in to every corner of your mind, so convinced you are that you have done something wrong, and perhaps hurt someone, or done something unforgivable. You know that these things are usually imagined-- or if they happened are probably unnoticed or fleeting for the other person. Your obsession with guilt has reached huge proportions. During these episodes, you are defining yourself with what you have done. It is as if nothing about you matters except that you did this one thing, or said this one thing. However, I am sure there is so much more to you than that!
And, for some reason, you are unable to forgive yourself these perceived trespasses. This is what you need to work on. You need to forgive yourself, let go, in your heart that these events matter. You need to stop letting them say who you are and know who you are outside of them. It is here that you will find peace from this guilt anxiety.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder: How Do I Deal With Anxiety For "No Reason?"
What is harder to control is the general anxiety: When you feel anxious, agitated, scared, but for no reason. That is harder:(
Anxiety always has a reason, but seeming like it doesn't have a reason is one of its tactics to get control over you. It makes you feel "weak," or like "you are the problem" since there is "no cause" and you are still anxious.
The cause of generalized anxiety, like you describe, is a stress response. The stress trigger can be present in the moment (overtired, malnourished, being bullied, embarrassed or in pain), or you could be overall stressed by a context in your life, or a fear related to a history of trauma. The latter often feels like "no reason." Stress is not only a reason, but a very powerful reason on our bodies, minds and spirits.
The context brings the fear and vulnerability leading to the GAD symptoms you describe. It is literally an unease about handling what you feel. The best way to combat this is to connect with feeling safe and trusting yourself. Write a list of your strengths and safety skills, including what you trust about yourself and read this several times a day.
This might be harder if the context is dangerous to begin with and you would have to go deeper to find the parts of yourself, the inner parts that cannot be harmed no matter what: that you have purposes, values, morals, your skills and abilities. The you that you hold onto despite what happens to you. Write these down, get a witness to these parts of yourself and read it a several times a day.
Hopefully, this will bring you some peace.
By Jodi Lobozzo Aman
I blog here: Heal Now and Forever Be In Peace
and here: Anxiety-Schmanxiety Blog,
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Lobozzo, J. (2012, March 14). Reader's Questions About Guilt Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, June 29 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2012/03/readers-questions-about-guilt-anxiety-and-generalized-anxiety
Author: Jodi Lobozzo Aman, LCSW-R
By psycho-dynamic conception of view the genesis of anxiety disorders derives from our disarrangement dealing with life circumstances and events as well. As it is known, life is full up with pleasing and unpleasant moments that loading our emotional state with unpredictable impression and feeling. This unavoidable burden of sensation along time constitutes an irritable psychic state that is called anxiety. Conditionally, this state may be healthy or abnormal emotional condition, that depend of our perceived reflection into mind. If the mirror of life events is terrible then we would be frightening and we get sick from any form of anxiety like obsession, GAD etc. Therefore, the difficulty consist in our personal head, that should understand the life with its problems in more real and placidly manner.
Sometime we take on the identities bullies tell us that we are. You think you screwed up. You are not what they say, and that burden on your chest is knowledge that you are not, deep down this is not OK with you. You can check out my blog and under the categories on the bottom right, click forgiveness. www.healnowandforever.net.
I agree with nikky44 sometimes i feel the same way when your in the moment of anxiety or depression due to environmental stressors its so hard to find whats good in yourself..recently im also suffering never ending criticism and being bullied that makes me feel terrible to the extent that i asked myself whats wrong with me, am i really i screwed up personality...i make myself busy reading blogs and hearing music but sometimes anxiety still attacking me i cant sleep and always have the heavy feeling on my chest..i want to scream out to lessen the burden ..i want to read book or blogs about self forgiving and how to battle with anxiety, if you have recommendation it is most welcome.
That's exactly what I do Mia, Reading Blogs, listening to music. I found great Blogs, I can recommend :)
You can try my home blog, where I have many more articles. healnowandforever.net In the search put in "forgiveness."
Thank you very much Jodi for this very clear and detailed reply. You are right, as when you are describing the stress factors, I realize having them all." It makes you feel “weak,” or like “you are the problem” " I would also add that the persons around, the society in general have a tendency to make us feel we are the problem, which make us become more judgmental on ourselves and hating the person we are.
It's a bit difficult to find or write positive things about myself, but I'll keep writing.
I would add that, too. I agree about culture supporting us blaming ourselves. I can't wait to see the list. Post it if you get a chance. Love, Jodi
Thank you for your reply. Guilt! You have defined the problem and that is good but that doesn't solve the problem. This has been a battle all my life and depression does not exactly help. Actually it makes it easier for the guilt to run rampant with all its ups and downs. Each day I do not know what to expect when I wake up and the vast majority of the time the desire to go through the day is just not there. What suggestions do you have that might be of help to conquer this problem?
Thank you so much for your time and energy. Joe
Thanks, Joe, you are very kind and appreciative. Turn that in on yourself. I think your depression and anxiety comes from this guilt and I did tell you what to do. Forgive yourself. You might ask how to do that, but forgiveness is just intention. Just really believe that you are deserving and worthy. That you are not what you think you are, or have done. I do have meditations on self forgiveness on my website see link in the post, and click on store, and if you need to work with someone in person or over the internet, you can do that. It is about changing those beliefs. I wish you the peace that you so deserve. Love, Jodi
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