How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem
In trying to deal with low self-esteem, focus on the positive. When doing that, we feel more positive, happier and self-assured, right? Our self-esteem is heightened when we are in a positive state of mind.
Let's consider why it's been difficult to overcome low self-esteem. The likelihood is that past events or a current trigger has left your self-esteem low, which contributes to your current state of mind, which for many of us can be negative.
The roots of your low self-esteem are not to be ignored, but for the purpose of moving into a happier mindset, let’s focus on the feelings you want to obtain today; happiness and higher self-esteem. By proactively shifting some of your negative behaviors and thoughts in the moment, you can increase your self-esteem tremendously and start to overcome low self-esteem.
Low Self-Esteem Doesn't Have to Overcome You
Here are some things to remember when your low self-esteem is really kicking you around.
Don't "Should" on Yourself
The first step in dealing with low self-esteem is to recognize the negative statements you are telling yourself.
- I should have…
- If only I would have…
These “-ould statements” are unproductive. They build up and make it difficult to overcome your low self-esteem (we all tend to go to this place on occasion, myself included). My suggestion: don’t should on yourself! This is not the way to deal with low self-esteem. This gets you looped into the low self-esteem cycle of thinking. Instead, focus on what you can do and move forward into positive thoughts. When you catch yourself “shoulding,” rephrase it to:
- “I am going to” or
- “Next time I will.”
Give yourself a break and focus on what you can do next time, not what happened in the past.
Put Yourself First with Self-Care
It may not seem like it, but self-care is an important step in overcoming low self-esteem. Self-care is a gentle reminder that you deserve to feel good and produces positive feelings inward, which radiates outward.
Going to the gym, eating a healthy meal, watching that show that makes you laugh are examples of self-care. For me, self-care is taking time away from technology, taking a bubble bat or watching Modern Family while enjoying some ice cream. These are ways I support my body and my mind in feeling my best and they allow me to shift my focus into a positive mindset.
Get Out of Your Head
I know this can be difficult, but often times you have to change your surroundings or your current situation to shift your negative self-talk into a more positive conversation. My suggestion: get out of your head. I often times have to leave my desk, go on a walk, listen to music, call a good friend, meditate, or read something, but I don’t let my mood take over, I distract with loving, proactive activities.
Find out what activities help to increase your self-esteem and share them in the comments below. By you sharing your tools for dealing with and overcoming low self-esteem, you are helping others to find new methods for increasing their self-esteem.
Emily is the author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are.You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.
LPC, E. (2012, May 30). How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, July 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2012/05/how-to-deal-with-and-overcome-low-self-esteem
Author: Emily Roberts MA, LPC
self-esteem all my life. I have known where some of it has come from. Reading your article has help me add to the list.
Low self-esteem has only increased over time. But it’s time I be good to me and fix it so I can enjoy the rest of my life for “ME”.
I went through a divorce 12 years ago and a very good friend helped me through it. She taught me that you need to do something good for “YOU” everyday. Wheather it be taking a walk, eating a special chocolate, drinking a cup a tea, sitting outside and enjoying the weather and birds singing etc. I have taken that advice and spread it to others. I have used it many times.
Learning today that I have a deeper list of culprits I am going to overcome this, love myself first and win. I am a person that feels good when I help others. I’m going to be working on helping myself first today.
Your articles and advice is my first step to working on my self-esteem issues. I thank you.
Be good to yourself.
Love to all!
Sometimes I feel like Magneto from X-Men, misunderstood and coping with pain through persistence
Take Good Care,
Take Good Care,
If you are looking for Julianna’s book, I think you can find it here
1) never complain about anything, always give gratitude for what you have.
2) never complain about your job nor your coworkers, do the best you can and give some more. Don't worry about the other guy...! I feel great when I complete a job without rushing.
3) never complain about your spouse or loved ones, give them all the love and support.
A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.
If you see people shying away from you you had better have a look at yourself.
You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. Start with a smile. Smiles spread.
Take Good Care,