Sherry Polley Saying Goodbye to "Dissociative Living"
This will be my final post for Dissociative Living as I will no longer be writing for HealthyPlace. I have enjoyed my time with this adventure of being a blogger, but it has now become too much for me to handle. I still struggle with many dissociative identity disorder (DID) symptoms, and lately they have been acting up. It is becoming harder for me to be reliable and committed to this blog.
A Recent Dissociative Identity Disorder Episode
I had a DID episode recently in which I believe I was beginning to split between my personalities. I started putting all of my thoughts and feelings into my teddy bear. We were in great emotional pain and it was too much for us to handle. So our teddy bear took on all of the thoughts and emotions. We said things, like, "Mr. Bear feels lonely," and "Mr. Bear is scared." And this helped us to get through the episode without splitting off into a complete alter personality.
I feel that it was a successful episode, in the sense that I didn't hurt myself, and I didn't go anywhere or do anything dangerous. I stayed in my apartment the whole time. I cried a lot. I reached out to friends and together we got through it. I am back on my medication now.
Thank You to "Dissociative Living" Readers
I'd like to thank all of my readers and thank you for your comments and participation. I have enjoyed writing this blog and will miss writing for HealthyPlace. I plan to spend time making art for a while before I take on anything that requires too much of me. I wish all of my readers well and best of luck to those who struggle with any mental disorder. My experience is that mental illness struggles do get better and, at the very least, we get better at dealing with them. Thank you and be well!
Polley, S. (2015, May 16). Sherry Polley Saying Goodbye to "Dissociative Living", HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, September 19 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2015/05/sherry-polley-saying-goodbye
Author: Sherry Polley
We are without a moderator on this site and I haven't been diagnosed for very long. But, I want to encourage you that things will get better. Sounds like you finally have someone that supports you and that you trust. I am so glad for you. Days (and nights for that matter) can be crazy making, BUT, you are not crazy. My therapist has explained to me that every person has fractures within them...parts of themselves that fractured during times in childhood. Those of us with DID have more pronounced and separate parts but that does not make us crazy...it just means we are adaptive.
I have had times where I feel like my mind is floating freely through time and space and I have no way of capturing it to tether it down. It's scary. And I've had physical pain that I call muscle memory where my body remembers the pain that I felt as a child. That is also scary.
But, please remember, you are not crazy. And, as you continue to work with your therapist things will start to get better. Sometimes it can be a long road but it is worth it to hang in there. You will make it through this. In that you have DID proves you are a survivor. You survived the abuse as a child AND you survived being in the war. You, Joe, are a survivor.
I have DID and I was diagnosed about 30 years ago . Done a lot of therapy work for about 10 years, and I realized that I had been sexually abused , but I haven't ever discovered who done it , I also am a Vietnam veteran, and had more trauma there, the VA psych had a drug test done on me behind my back after the doctor said she wouldn,t going to make me do a drug test , I started spiraling down when I found out what they had done . The psch doctor and my medical doctor had broken my trust and I don't know if I will ever trust another doctor. I seen a chance to get back in to see my therapists , who was the only one I trusted at all at this time. I am making the VA pay for my therapy. And I am see my original psychologist that diagnosed me. I have been having a very hard time, I live in northeast Texas , and believe me, there no body here that I can trust. I didn't fully accept my diagnosed back then and now , I fully accept my diagnoses . I been switch a lot and I was aware when my my emotional pain turn into physical pain , I been hurting all over and especially the back of my head any neck . My muscle in my neck start spasm , and had bad headaches , tunnel vision sometimes , it so painful at this time. I haven't been able to sleep much because my parts are very active right now. I feel like I am losing my minds at times, I just needed somebody to tell me that I ain't crazy. And I will live through this, that all I wanted is someone to tell me that. I seen by therapist today , I don't know what I would do without her at this time.Of course , my therapist told me all these things.
I just found your blog I was told in 2004 that I had DID before I found out I went through 3 husbands and had to give up my children because the doctors said I would never get better. Then after I end up in a hospital they found out I had DID and started helping me. The treatment was working for me until lately now I am sliding again. Thank you for what you shared it lets me know I am not a lone. I pray you get on a even path and things work out for you.
Dear Sherry, You will be missed! I am glad that you recognize your limits and are actively taking care of yourself. Thank you for sharing your life with us for the past several months.