Losing Time: The Insidious Nature of Dissociative Amnesia
Nothing about dissociative identity disorder is quite what the most popular phrases used to describe it imply. “Losing time” is no exception. When we talk about losing time we’re talking about severe dissociative amnesia which, in a milder form, is something I believe everyone experiences. But the phrase “losing time” suggests a highly dramatic, easily recognizable aberration. In my experience, however, dissociative amnesia is startlingly surreptitious. It’s easy to be unaware that you’re losing time at all.
What Does Losing Time Look Like?
A guest stayed at our home for several days recently. My partner and I were chatting about recent events last night and she referred to the day our guest left . . . five or six days prior to the one I was sure he departed on. As we discussed the timeline in more detail, it became clear that I’d lost about a week of that particular stretch of time.
These dissociative memory problems happen regularly for me and have for as long as I can recall. And prior to my dissociative identity disorder diagnosis, I quite genuinely thought other people were chronically confused. It never occurred to me that I might be losing time in part because it just isn’t the most likely scenario; but also because my concept of dissociative amnesia was rather farcical. I thought losing time looked like coming to in a hotel room far from home with a stranger in my bed. And while I’m sure that can and does happen, I’ve since learned that dissociative amnesia often camouflages itself so well that, until you spot the seams, it doesn’t look like anything at all.
Dissociation is not always the worst case scenario you may mistakenly think it is. It runs along a continuum. Most of us experience mild symptoms of it in our everyday life, like Alice, the travel consultant, who loses all track of time when she becomes engrossed in a good book - a mild form of amnesia.
- The Stranger in the Mirror, by Marlene Steinberg and Maxine Schnall
How Do You Know When You're Losing Time?
If I’d spent my life waking up with strange people in strange places I might’ve known I had dissociative identity disorder much sooner. As it is, I lived with severe dissociative amnesia for almost thirty years before anyone – friends, family, co-workers, therapists, and most notably I myself – spotted anything out of the ordinary.
Without external evidence butting up against my perceptions of reality, there’s nothing to clue me in to the fact that I’ve lost time at all. Had my partner not mentioned the date of our guest’s departure, I would never have realized I’d missed those five or six days. Dissociative amnesia is far more insidious than most people realize. And in my experience, the only surefire way to know you’re losing time is if you happen across clear evidence that directly contradicts your memory. Otherwise, it's remarkably easy to miss what you're missing.
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Gray, H. (2011, May 30). Losing Time: The Insidious Nature of Dissociative Amnesia, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, October 15 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2011/05/losing-time-the-insidious-nature-of-dissociative-amnesia
Author: Holly Gray
the other day i woke up at 7am and started watching youtube and in minutes i looked at the clock and it was 12 what was that?
Uhm. I’m 16 and I noticed that I’ve been loosing time. I send texts I don’t know I sent. I can blink doing on thing and then blink again and it can be 2 hours later and I have no memory of the in between. Like today I went to get a work uniform for my job with my mom. Then I blinked and I’m in the shower, 2 hours later. She told me that we even went out to eat during the two hours...and I don’t remember it at all.
My 44yo wife spaces out in an instant with all memories intact up to about 16 years old. She barely remembers me. She will have no recollection of any of our marriage nor our kids the oldest being 15. She can be fully functioning in this state that I've witnessed last minutes to as long as 13 hours. She will snap out in the same manner as she went very reminiscent of flipping a light switch on or off. The epilepsy center at parkland hospital has ruled out any physiological issues and referred her to the psychiatric department however due to lack of funding and lack of insurance we could not continue any treatment although some medications combinations were seeming to make these things go from multiple times a day to virtually non-existent meaning maybe once a month. This all started when she was 41. We have been together since she was 16 and I was 17.
I think this has happened to me a couple of times, and it's kinda unnerving to not know what's going on. I'll be doing something, (Watching television or playing games) when I'll look at the time and realize that it's an hour later than I thought it was. I think I might be losing time but I'm not sure. It's really confusing sometimes.
I lost time for almoat 3 days, unusual for me to sleep all day until 7:30 at night, I thoight it was morning. I checked my recent calls, only one to daughter in law at 8:50 the next I,m getting pulled over by police and srrested for DUI. only remember bits and pieces, bailed out going to my front door there were 2 papamedics waiting for me my son had called , only remember getting blood drawn and I left before d, could see me, thought i was done, blood work nothing, coast me 3,100 and atty srill going to court for 5th time, DA is on the fence and it should be dismissed would this be a symptom of a Brain aneruysm, as my doctor ran MRI and CT found 2, larger one surgery in 2 weeks. Could it be the aneruyms?
First time I noticed this- I was putting my grandson to sleep and all of the sudden it was 3:00. I started at 12:30. I was stunned it was 3 already. I know time flies when you’re having fun, but this scared me. Am I imagining it or did it actually take 2 1/2 hours to get him to sleep?
i came across this searching for information about a problem i have but it is different. i mostly remember everything quite clearly i think but i dont know if it happened a couple of days ago or weeks or months even
Hi Jennifer, I had this happen to me today, like you said, the reverse. Some events that happened last night seemed in my mind to have happened weeks ago. When the disconnect became clear, It really freaked me out. Is this also a form of dissociative amnesia? Im guessing it is. Any other input would be appreciated. Thanks.
I'm scared. I went to Walmart today picked up a few thing (milk,soda and printer ink). I remember standing in the checkout isle but that's it. Don't remember paying, having what I picked up, nor my nephew that was with me. He said he couldn't find me so he went to the car looking. He also said I came to the car a few minutes later without the things. I live a good 45 mins from the store and can't even remember the ride. I was the driver. I don't know what happened. I checked my credit car balance and it appears (need to check again tomorrow) I did not make any purchases with it. I'm freaking out.
Hi, Scarlet Red. I understand feeling scared, panicked, and the feeling of freaking out. First, your comment makes me think of a couple of questions. Are you currently receiving mental health services? Is this episode of dissociation your first one? Do you remember anything going on that day that might have triggered your dissociation? Were you triggered, anxious, or stressed over something?
Besides those questions, I can really empathize with what you are feeling according to my perspective. I've been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, specifically DID, for over twenty years. When I first began dissociating, I was petrified. I would find clothes in my closet I had no recollection of buying. Packages would come to the door that I didn't remember buying. It is very disconcerting to find that you've done things you don't remember.
It might be good to get a mental health check-up if you can. In addition, write in a journal every day, and especially write down the experiences you are having, what happened or triggered it before the dissociation started, and what brought you out of the dissociation, meaning what do you remember before you came to. Lastly, while it doesn't feel well, know that what you are experiencing is normal for someone who might have a dissociative disorder. It's okay to feel panicked, but please make sure you see a professional about your experiences.
I will hold complete conversations with myself of past event then an hour later will vaguely remember and be like omg was that out loud did anyone hear me see me. What is happening! I have had episodes of this periodically in my life during high stress timed
I ruined my coffee yesterday by putting too much creamer in it I filled it with creamer to the brim before I came back to idk if this example is appropriate or if it is this at all
I had dissociative amnesia most often when I was between the ages of 5 and 10 (?). I’m not entirely sure because I completely forget the events I have amnesia for that had occurred in that time. When I was younger I would go to a lot of funerals and completely forget about it the next day to the point of being confused when my parents and other relatives talked about the funeral, not remembering where I was or what happened the day before (the day of the funeral), or recalling the fact that said relative had died. My parents would be annoyed at me for always forgetting certain relatives who had died and going to their funerals. When they’d have to tell me that they’d died when I would ask at family reunions where they were and when I was confused when they spoke of the death of said relative. I also had a funeral dress for funerals and I remember always insisting getting rid of whatever funeral dress had fit me because “I never wore it” and my Mum would always say, “No, you’ll be wearing it again soon”. My parents, relatives, and siblings all remember going to funerals I had gone to but have no recollection of. I’m not sure why I specifically completely forget the day of all funerals I had gone to with the exception of two that I still remember. It’s pretty strange and I’m not sure if I’ve had other episodes or whatever they’re called of lost time.
I don't know what's happening to me. I keep looking for answers on this but I keep finding what you're describing, which is where you're unaware of the time lost or I see things where people just feel numb like they're disassociating outside of their body. When I experience this problem it feels like I'm instantaneously traveling in time. One second I'm brushing my teeth, about to go to sleep and the next I'm wiping tables at work, like I'm actually teleporting or something. I go from one time to another and I feel very confused but also very aware of the fact that I essentially just blacked out and lost all that time. I think it has something to do with anxiety, depression and stress, all of which I have in copious amount on account of being diagnosed with PTSD a few months back. I can't afford treatment or medication, I have no insurance and I can't apply for disability because my neglectful, con-artist parents have been filing for welfare, disability and racking up tons of debt in my name, since I was old enough for them to open up a bank account for me.
I have been experiencing the same thing recently, and i have gone through anxiety and depression as well.
Haley, I certainly hope you are coping with your problem. I have the same things happen to me and I tell myself that I'm moving from one parallel dimension to another. It's just been the two that I've noticed but I've been keeping a small notebook and noting the date and time I am doing things. This helps me to not worry so much about it since I too have no insurance. Hang in there.
I think this might be happening to me I have had a few instances in the past but today it happened again . I was at the Apple Store today getting upset and emotional for various reasons to do with my broken phone and I looked down in my hand and had my credit card in it I remember taking it out of my bag . I said to the lady well I guess I'll take this phone she said mam u already paid and signed I said are u nuts I never gave u a card or signed anything I was not even sure if I wanted that phone she looked st me strange and said yes u did I said well then where's my reciept she said I'll get I a paper copy now but I already sent one to ur email . Boy was I freaked out and still an and it got me thinking about other times when i had similar incidences and then I started thinking I wonder how many times this really happens that I don't realize
Hi everyone -
thank you for sharing your experiences. They help me figure some things out amongst my confusion.
I am the girlfriend of someone I suspect might have dissociate amnesia and I'm looking for help/opinions on the below writing. I apologize in advance that there isn't maybe enough details to support my speculation below - let me know and I'll give more info.
So, dissociative amnesia, because I catch him not remembering things he has just said and one time he used another language that he wouldn't normally use and then he though I had said it, when I hadn't said anything, so he kind of "caught" himself, but he couldn't remember it, so when I bring it up now, he believes it's my memory lapse.
Unfortunately for me, I feel his memory lapses around his experiences with women. I don't know why, but he can't remember any women he's had feelings for in the past. When I asked him about it he said he just wasn't into girls, but I was only to discover that through an 2yr old conversation I read that was between him and his friend, that he liked girls plenty and these two actresses in particular. When I showed him some pics of these actresses and asked him casually if he'd ever thought they were somethin' he said no, never, and he said he never though of them in that way at all. When I told him that just 2 years ago he was calling these "his girls" and thought they were very hot/attractive, he said he genuinely couldn't remember saying that. I used to think that perhaps he was lying to me, but with all the memory laps here and there, I feel like his memory laps are beyond the "normal" and he genuinely can't remember chunks of time OR things surrounding women.
Does it happen that the amnesia can "choose" topics to forget?
Perhaps he has other personalities - but living with him for 2 years I have to say that I haven't "met" any of them... or maybe I don't notice them?
I wonder what his trauma would come from though... because he seems to have had a really nice childhood and only when he was a teen did he have some trauma when one of his parents was going through cancer.
Thank you if you read this and I hope you can give me some of your input from what you know about DID - amnesia and also give me your personal opinion.
How can I help you?
Good evening all. My name is Joe im a combat vet with extreme to severe PTSD due to multple deployments and direct interaction with the enemy including hand to hand combat where i have taken lives. I also have been diagnosed the same for injuries recieved while in a combat zone. I quit taking my meds 4 years ago and relied on my faith in God to relieve me of the symtoms and episodes,trips as some have called it. I woke up yesterday morning i had no idea where i was or who i was in a sense. Its soo confusing and hard to explain. i was late for work which is not unusal for me im always late for work. But what was unusual was there was a dude in my living room and i knew him but didnt know how he got there or when. Then i got dressed and walked outside to get in my big truck and it was not there. I then called my boss and he asked me was i high or messing with him. I then realized something wasnt right. i told him i think im having a breakdown or did have one because i was trying to hide the fact i was totally lost. Especially after he informed me that i havnt drove for him in over 3 months. And that i had drove for another guy i didnt even know. Then he informed me the other guy i drove for fired me 3 weeks ago. At this point my pulse started racing i got dizzy and extremely numb. Then i got a call in less than 5 minutes from another gentleman that was logged as a contact in my phone that told me where to go to fill out the application for him and drug screen info Etc. I dont remember ever talking to this guy! Nor have i any recollection of asking him for a job but he was now a contact in my phone. It just gets worse from there. I dont remember the last 48 hours much less my birthday the fourth of july halloween my sons birthday on and on i remember bits and pieces from the last 6 months but thats it. Oh and i met the woman ive been searching for my entire life and she is the only woman i ever want to have by my side for the rest of my life in December last year. We are very devoted Christians. And we were madly in love At least i still am. By reading emails and text for the last 18 hours that i dont remember sending or recieving and have aalmost 100 from Marlene from august til yesterday that i never opened but was in my right mind i guess enough to Archive them so they wouldnt be deleted. The last time i remember being in my walk in closet in my bedroom i had moved all my things to another closet and all her things were in the walk in. She had soo many more clothes than i do and i was soo happy she moved in with me. Now my closet looks like me and only me have ever been in there. There is nothing in my place other than a few notes and old letters and some photos on my phone. She is gone . we are broke up and she has already fell in love with another man and hates my guts and the threats and language in our text and emails are horrible. She never spoke to me like that before and i never would have done it to her. THis woman is my life and im completely back me now and still head over heels in love with a woman that hates me now. I dont know or have memory other than slight hazy things here and there. Ive went off on PTSD trips for 3 weeeks at the longest but never a duration of 6 months or maybe i have. Iam soo confused. oh and i attend church or bible study 3-4 days a week every week. I also journal. I have a gap of 2 1/2 months where i have no entries in my journal and 3 months no entries. I called my pastor and he said he hasnt seen me in at least 3 months and my bible study group said i had not been there since July. I love God and church and my brothers at bible study but apparently i gave up on My Lord And Saviour over the last 6 months but right now i still feel the same like i never missed a day. Please help.... i cant talk to anyone. She hates my guts. I have no friends i trust. If the military finds this out they will commit me. I have lost the greatest treasure in my life, Marlene!!! HELPPPPPPPPP God Bless
I hear you Joe....thank you for all that you have sacrificed, thank you for your service.
It's very disturbing walking past a mirror and recognize that your reflection is a stranger. Maybe older or younger than at the time. You often have to lie to others about things when they ask about past happenings because truthfully you have no idea what happens only noticeable drawings, writings, items that occurred during your "away" time. I have had fugue states like walking around in a town I grew up in years ago in the middle of a snow storm wearing a T-shirt. It's quite unsettling and disturbing, but more so trying to explain it to others.
In a store shopping..woke up and found myself 2 blocks away...???? Had severe headache that morning..was that a warning signs of blackout?
That can be dissociation, yes. It's also common to experience headaches/migraines when there is a lot going on inside.
Are my symptoms that of dissociation? In the past year, I have suffered from bouts of hypersomnia that would find me sleeping involuntarily for up to four days, followed by hours or even days of confusion and disorientation. I have also have episodes in which I would go to bed in my Brooklyn studio and a few days later wake up in a different part of the city.
Those symptoms could possibly be related to dissociation. Hypersomnia isn't connected to dissociation; if you are actually sleeping and not just losing time, then that is another concern entirely. Either way, you should seek help from a medical and psychiatric professional to see what's going on.
This is driving me nuts. It's the thing that just won't heal, it seems. My anxiety is long gone, I'm functional, I'm thriving in life, I've never been in a better place mentally, and yet, I'm just floating through life. I don't feel an attachment to anything, and I have zero sense of time. Hours can pass and they simultaneously feel like a single minute and like a full eternity. I'll think a day or two has passed since something, but then when I check, it will be many days later and I'll have no idea.
I thought I'd just started my diet like a week ago, but when I checked my food log, it turns out I started on April 28 -- that was 20 days ago. I moved into a new apartment 1.5 months ago, and the two years I spent at my last place, as well as my roommates there, are the tiniest fragments of a distant memory. It already feels as if I have lived in my new apartment forever.
I've been learning a language with Duolingo, and I decided to take a break. I thought I'd stopped for a couple days to take a break, but then a push notification popped up on my phone saying it has been five days since I last practiced. I had no idea, it felt like a single day. I regularly miss all these little things through the day, I'll suddenly skip ahead a few seconds or a minute or two. Like when I was at the gas station, I got a coffee, I remember paying, then I'm at my car door getting in, and I had no memory of grabbing the napkins or anything, I found them stuffed in my pocket. It was a total hole in my memory. Or I'll shut the stove off and then I'll be draining the noodles, and I'll have zero memory of actually turning the stove off and picking up the pot.
Most of the time these losses of time are seamless, but every now and again -- usually if something manages to make me actually feel emotion, which is rare -- my stomach muscles will tighten and I'll feel more and more pressure in my body and usually depression and physical discomfort until it just sort of...releases. And when that happens, my mood will suddenly be really elevated and I'll feel great, and my memory of the day before that moment will get extremely fuzzy, so that I'll only have a detached awareness of the last 20 minutes or so, and no memory of what I did earlier in the day. It's like everything before that release is some distant memory of things that happened to someone else, if I remember them at all.
Because of this, I enjoy nothing. I don't go out aside from work or groceries, I don't go to things unless it is for the benefit of someone else, because I know that I won't actually feel present and established in the moment, and it'll seem like a vague dream almost as soon as I leave. I'll go to BBQs to make friends happy, I'll smile and laugh and say the right things, but no one knows that I'm just an animated body going through the motions. I don't even feel depressed anymore, I might as well be an empty body with a smile on its face sitting in a chair, useless.
I know this is because my parents never let me leave the house, I was trapped 24/7 with their abuses, and the long miserables days trapped in the same room day after day after month after year feeling all these hopes and yearnings eventually broke my mind. I can't help but think that as I grew into an adult, my brain formed and was shaped in such a way to handle that particular environment -- seemingly endless days completely devoid of stimulation and human contact outside of my parents. My brain learned to delete blocks of hours so I wouldn't go completely insane. I know I can't feel emotions anymore because the pain of yearning and hoping for salvation eventually became so painful, the pain of hope and yearning was worse than any other pain. So my brain somehow removed my ability to feel, and on the rare occasions where I actually feel something, it's as if something snaps in my brain and then...boom. It's all gone, everything before that snap.
How is a person supposed to rewrite the very structure of their brain? Therapy has reached its peak. Meditation can't touch this. Mindfulness doesn't work. I'm afraid that one day I'll blink, and I'll be 70 years old with no memories of seven decades of wasted potential.
Do you have a counselor? A good counselor can provide support and can help you become more aware when your alters are out. They can also help with the anxiety that tends to tag along with DID. I am thinking about you.
Dear Kristianne: I understand isolation and the inability to be FROZEN and want to give up but THERE IS HELP. I am new to this sight, but believe I noticed a number on here that you can call. I cannot say I understand your fear, but I do know there is help, so please don't ever give up. If you do not have a psychiatrist or psychologist, maybe you could call the local mental health center where you live. I do understand self-harm, dissasociative amnesia, and it helped me to realize I am not alone, and neither are you! You are very brave to reach out and talk about your problems!!!! Don't forget that!!! BRAVE and NEVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE! If you need help you call always call 911; anyway that's the number we have - they will be able to help you in any emergency. That means, feel the fear, but reach out for help. God Bless you Kristianne.
I have DID and I severely hurt and injure myself when I am not my true self. I am really scared and have no family or support. I recently got 3 complaints from neighbours a few weeks ago when I lost from midnight to 7:30am. I can't really explain anything about it right now but if there's anyone that has any suggestions for me I am open to them. Thank you in advance.
I have therapy for this but sometimes I blackout even when nothing bad is going on and people don't notice a change in me at all. At times, I don't even remember a therapy session which I'm paying alot for I might add. It's like I've just woken up, I'm noticing the periods of time that I am losing. Although I may appear normal when I am blacked out, I'm not always and I'm worried about work in case I do something bad that I'm unaware of. I've felt myself blackout in the middle of an argument with a stranger, it's not the first time either. It's an experience that's caused me to become housebound
the other night I left a friends home to pick up something at the store and became lost I drove around for three hours before finding my way back! I had left my phone at home! After arriving back admits a crying friend and a police at the door I was confused I thought I had only been gone 30 minutes! Prior to this incident I had taken my daily medications twice in one day also having forgetfulness! Is this just fluke coincidence or should I see my physician for tests
Not so much time, for me its seconds and minutes. I have trouble remembering what i just said. Or what someone just did.
im losing days, i dnt remember what happened the day before and i argue with my friend that im not, but now i know i am. fucking great, now i can undestand why ppl act the way they do and the way they look at me like im guilty of something.
I too have been recently diagnosed with DID.
It appears I have a few different personalities
with no memory of each other. Since starting to learn about and receive therapy on DID seems to be helping though my acceptance of it is still very raw feeling. This was a good thread to read.
I can't explain what is happening to me, maybe some of you have a clue. I have PTSD and MPD. (I believe my personality disorder is the problem, however I seem to be functioning normally under different identities when it happens, according to my wife it is me at different ages.) Well here is what happens to me, I blink and I am someplace else having a conversation with someone or working, then I blink again and I am in bed or driving. I lose entire days sometimes, Classes, 2-8 hour stretches. However my work is done for school with 3.86 GPA and 131 credit hours, Always complete my tasks at work even apparently talk to people, drive, obey the law ect... It just isn't me doing it.... Its like someone changed the channel on the TV except its my life.... Tonight I was using a pallet jack Blinked and was cuddling with my wife no clue what happened but apparently I left work early, drove home and climbed into bed.... I don't remember any of this.... I'm losing my friggin mind.....
I feel like I just lost time. I've been up for 8 hours and just finished filling out an online application for a job. 8 hours have passed and I can only remember doing about 2 hours worth of tasks. It is such a strange feeling for me right now.
I have not experienced the kinds of black-outs you are describing but it can be a symptom of dissociating. You mentioned talking to your doctor and that not being helpful. Have you tried talking to a psychiatrist, therapist, or psychologist? They may be able to help you help with a diagnosis give you the support that you need. I am sorry I am not able to help you out more than that.
Hey there ,
My name is Tricia and I am 25 years old and I am expierencing time loss it seems. Now ive blacked out before that i remember about 10 years ago when i was drinking all the time. Just the last few months I've been blacking out completely sober I havent Told my partner until today the last thing i remember is playing with my daughter at our visit then i open my eyes and im in the shower with my boyfriend and hes holding me up i just starting crying.. its really scary when you think your somewhere or doing something but when you blink and open your eyes your somewhere completely diffferent and its 1- 2 hours later// i could cover it up before .. play it cool .. but its really getting to me and it seems to be getting longer and longer. Another thing .. i pass right out .. Ive has sesuires in the last 2 months.. I'm just realluy scared like i said . I've been with my boyfriend for the last 3 years // and he will tell me i said all these things and i dontremember saying them at all// we could be fighting for an hour straight and i wont remembver it // so when i snap out of it I'm Normal happy smiling telling him i love him .. and he thinks im really srewed up becAUSE 10 mins prior i was telling him i wanted to leave him .. and so on and so on... i recently started excessively started picking at face until its completely raw . . I'm so stressed out getting severe skin infections. now i know ill pop a zit sometimes but i dont remember picking at my face for 3-4 hours at a time // Im not doin g drugs at all . could the skin pickinh be a part of my black outs// I'm asking for ANYONE whos going threw the same kinda thing as me and has some advice for me please email me because my doctor isnt helpful at all . and i really want to know whats going on .. thanks so much .. for tehe post ...
Hi T❤️ · I have C·PTSD, DID, and Epilepsy & co morbidity neuro & psych issues. I lose time which I never noticed until I did. Anxiety causes me to "pick" (dermotillomania & tricotillomania). I'm really sorry for all you're going through. I'm benefitting most from medical marijuana, art, & watching videos of others picking which alleviates my own needs, but everyone's different. I sincerely hope you find what works for you, & I know I'm 3yrs late, but it rang so *true & heartbreakingly terrible & also very brave* to me to read your post. I hope you're getting help and wish you the very best ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Just read the above. I know things are very scary when you start noticing these symptoms. Once I had the support of a good therapist and understood more about what was happening and why I was more at peace. I hope the same for you.
Hi Sherry and Kells....thanks a million for your input,my my...it happened again about four days ago,am right now in a fog floating kind of feeling,memory the worst problem coz I've just googled why I feel how I do and came to this page,as I was reading through,it all seems new to me what people talking about, am excited as I go on reading thinking I can see a similarly till I get to myself, OMG,i can't remember everything reading or ever writing in this page...Oohhh God...
Have to find me a therapist and the sooner the sooner the better...
I just wanted to comment on your husbands twitching in his sleep. I, too, twitch, move, and talk in my sleep. I suffer with night terrors where I relive traumas from my past. Sometimes the dreams are so severe that I wake (nearly everyday) with black eyes that fade after a few hours. My therapist said it is because our bodies are visceral - the emotions can't help but show themselves. If he suffered from anxiety and depression in the past, he may still be reliving some sort of trauma or traumas. Either way, he needs help. He may not want to admit it because of stigma or just plain fear, but the longer it goes on, the harder it will be for both of you.
Have you tried therapy? I am no expert (I've been diagnosed with DID for only a few months) but it sounds like you are having symptoms of dissociating. This can be very scary but very normal for someone with DID. Begin by looking for a therapist that treats DID and you can be assessed to see if that is the case. If so, there is help out there. hang in there.
Am glad I came across this thread coz it all sounds so familiar in more ways than one...am not sure if this is what am suffering from....pliiiiizzzzz help if you can...
I've occasionally waken up with weird memory lapses, I've noted the times in my diary and it happens like every two to three months... I'll wake up with recent memories seeming so distant,for example if today is Monday,what is did yesterday seems like it happened long time ago,I can hardly put together what I follow on TV once it happens...
I get this floating kind of feeling... Like am not connected with what's happening in my life of in life.... I notice am so anxious and confused, can't sleep well,it goes on for about a week or so.
I live such a lonely life...way far from family, in a different country.... I don't work coz I take care of my son with Autism... Am so isolated, I had an MRI scan about my memory which besides this episodes is soooo bad and they said it's my life style it's nothing wrong with my brain....
Someone heeeellllpppp before I go mad with worry...
Hi Jeccey, I agree with Kelly in that getting a professional opinion is a good idea. I am not a professional and can not help to diagnose you. I do agree that what you are experiencing could be DID, but you would want to talk to a therapist about that. I get help from group therapy, individual therapy, and my psychiatrist. All of these are helpful if you suffer from DID. Good luck finding the correct diagnosis and treatment! It can be hard to find a good therapist, but don't give up! Good treatment is out there. Thanks for your comment!
I have PTSD with DID, but I have never experienced a lapse in time or memories. I have 6 personalities at the present time. I have always known I wasnt alone, but until my diagnosis, I did not know what the "voices" were, or rather who they were. My alters are all me, just different ages of me. Like at this particular age, I split, and again at this age, and so on. This diagnosis makes it difficult to be treated. I was told by a therapist that there are only a handful of Drs in the country who are experienced with my type of DID. It is difficult to find help, and I need it desperately. If anyone knows of a dr, please let me know.
I, too, have been told that DID doctors are few and far between. My psychiatrist and therapist do not specialize in DID, but they have been able to treat me appropriately. One thing that has helped a lot is schema therapy. It may be hard to find a therapist who does schema therapy, too, but it is worth looking into as it has helped me a lot. You may be able to find adequate care, even if you can't find a DID specialist. Good luck to you in your search! Thanks for your comment.
To anyone that could help,
I just got married Dec. 30th to a wonderful man. He's been my rock in the most unsteadiest time in my life...but here recently I've started noticing that what i thought for the longest time was him messing with me might be a serious problem. My husband is in his late thirties and has never been a drinker or any type of substance abuser but occasionally he will start talking some off the wall things...or finish a conversation we had hours sometimes days previous. When I try to discuss this with him he laughes and says he's just kidding around or he'll get fustrated because I don't understand what he's talking about or trying to say. I'm so very worried about his health. On top of this he lacks an appetite, he has strange twitches in his sleep along with a lot of movement (not sleep walking just movement) and talking in his sleep. He's had anxiety and depression problems in his past but I don't know if that could tie into anything. Im just a very protective wife that is desperately seeking answers and was wondering if this at all resembles dissociative identity disorder. If you can help me in anyway I'd be forever in debted to you. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I can not rule out dissociative identity disorder, as I am not a doctor. If it were me, I would take my husband and these symptoms to a physician and psychiatrist. It doesn't hurt to get the input of professionals. I am not a professional and can't help to clarify what is wrong. It doesn't particularly sound like DID, but rather a memory problem of some kind... but don't take me word on that as I honestly do not know! Good luck as you try to get him seen by a professional. In the long run, he will probably thank you for it. Take care!