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I Went to a Party Despite Schizoaffective Disorder

January 23, 2020 Elizabeth Caudy

I went to a party. It's a big deal because schizoaffective anxiety caused me to stop going to parties for many years. But then my doctor and I did a medication change that made my schizoaffective voices all but disappear. I previously had been hearing the voices as often as twice a week, sometimes more, and that made me dread parties and the thought that voices might erupt in the middle of one. This medication change has made me a lot more confident about doing things, so, when my husband Tom and I were invited to go to a party, I decided to go.

I Went to a Party Even Though They've Caused Anxiety in the Past

The party I want to was a formal party, hosted by our friends Josh and Kelly (not their real names), a celebration of their 10th wedding anniversary and of Kelly’s birthday. The invite said “dress to impress,” so I bought a pair of dress slacks and wore a nice top my mom had gotten me for Christmas. I even wore lipstick—a big deal for me.

I posted a picture of myself all dressed up on Facebook. I was going to a party, I announced in the caption. My friends were shocked. One of them even commented, “You’re going to a party?” I explained that since the voices had subsided, I’ve been trying to stretch myself more. “Good for you!” she said.

The main reason I haven’t been going to parties is that my schizoaffective disorder makes social events over-stimulating. If I’m already over-stimulated, all the fragmented chatter typical at a party can bring on schizoaffective voices.

At This Party I Went to, I Was Comfortable and Stayed for Cake

But with Tom at my side, and with the reassurance that I most likely would not hear voices, I felt good at this party. I also knew from past experience what to look out for, and my therapist and I had discussed that I would be going to a party. She had given me pointers, like taking breaks by going and chilling out in the bathroom for a few minutes if I needed to.

Tom and I enjoyed catching up with old friends, and we even made small talk with a guy we didn’t know previously. He was sitting at our table. I was interested in the fact that he was a veteran, since my dad is a veteran, as was his dad and my mom’s brother.

Tom always kids me about not staying at parties for cake. Well, this time I stayed for cake. I even had some coffee. But after I had my cake and coffee, I needed to duck out to the bathroom for a few minutes of quiet time. While I was in there, Tom texted me asking, if I wanted to just go. I said yes. Tom later said no one asked him why we had left early.

All in all, I’m proud of myself for how I handled the party. For one thing, I stayed for cake. For another, I talked to someone I didn’t know. And, I didn’t hear voices. So I’d say the party I went to went pretty well.

APA Reference
Caudy, E. (2020, January 23). I Went to a Party Despite Schizoaffective Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, March 28 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/creativeschizophrenia/2020/1/i-went-to-a-party-despite-schizoaffective-disorder



Author: Elizabeth Caudy

Elizabeth Caudy was born in 1979 to a writer and a photographer. She has been writing since she was five years old. She has a BFA from The School of the Art Institute of Chicago and an MFA in photography from Columbia College Chicago. She lives outside Chicago with her husband, Tom. Find Elizabeth on Google+ and on her personal blog.

John Caudy
February, 20 2020 at 7:59 pm

Good Job!!! ;) Im so proud of you Elizabeth and I love you so much!! Keep up your good work.

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