Enhancing Interpersonal Communication with Borderline PD

March 19, 2024 Karen Mae Vister

When you master interpersonal communication with BPD, you stand up for your needs and nurture real connections. Learn more about my experience at HealthyPlace.

Improving interpersonal communication with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be a lifelong task. For me, interpersonal communication with BPD becomes a battleground where the stakes are high. One misstep could lead to unintended consequences, exacerbating my BPD symptoms.

Interpersonal Communication with Borderline PD: Passivity Versus Hostility

The inability to maintain harmony in interpersonal communication with borderline PD often comes at a cost: sacrificing one's true self. Over the years, I've found myself caught in a cycle of people pleasing, molding my responses to appease others at the expense of my integrity and authenticity. As a former chronic people-pleaser, I was bending over backward to accommodate others, suppressing my own needs and desires in the process. The facade of congeniality I presented masked the turmoil brewing beneath the surface.

On the flip side, there's this inclination with me, this urge to unleash my inner storm upon those closest to me. When angry enough, I would abandon the pretense and let words fly like sharp-edged arrows without a second thought. Rather than cultivating authentic bonds, my timidity in expressing myself and my penchant for fervent self-defense only led to strained relationships. I'd feel a sense of disconnect from everyone around me. I was teetering on the precipice of aggression, blurring the line between passivity and hostility.

Interpersonal Communication with Borderline PD: Assertiveness

It wasn't until I surrendered to the guidance of professional support a decade ago that I untangled the threads of interpersonal communication with BPD. With therapy as my compass and mindfulness as my anchor, I learned to champion my own needs while honoring others' boundaries. However, this transformation was no mere flick of a switch. Navigating emotionally charged dialogs felt akin to the sorcery of Doctor Strange, where time itself seemed to slow. This time gap gifted me the precious space to deliberate and intuit my responses.

Experiencing mindfulness in the middle of a BPD trigger felt like exercising a muscle I didn't know I had. Slowly but surely, I found myself immersed in it more deeply, even in the middle of my most turbulent moments, whether it was delving into eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, or confronting the truth during a heart-wrenching breakup, owning up to my flaws along the way.

Sometimes, this meant crying and experiencing the discomfort of showing sadness for once. Other times, it demanded the courageous act of excising toxic people from my life. Yet, through it all, I embarked on the sacred mission of fostering authentic connections and nurturing the seeds of genuine intimacy. My interpersonal communication with borderline PD improved. Ultimately, assertiveness empowered me to emerge stronger, braver, and infinitely more whole. 

APA Reference
Mae, K. (2024, March 19). Enhancing Interpersonal Communication with Borderline PD, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 13 from

Author: Karen Mae Vister

Karen Mae Vister, author of her blog, Over the Borderline, dedicates her work to providing valuable content and support for individuals on the path to recovery from borderline personality disorder. Find Karen Mae on Instagram and her blog.

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