Bipolar Vida

My name is Geralyn and I’m the new author of Bipolar Vida. Living with bipolar disorder certainly has its challenges. I’m a clinician, writer, advocate, idealist and doctoral student. I can’t tell you how excited I am to be able to share some of my personal bipolar experiences and nuggets of wisdom with you.
As many of you know, I have just graduated from college, and it’s time for me to begin my journey into “Real Life.” I’m not quite sure what this means for me quite yet, but I can feel many, many changes coming my way, and that means a loss of stability - at least for awhile (Stability in Bipolar Disorder Requires Routine).
Every year, I make a list a couple weeks before New Year’s of the things that I want to accomplish in the upcoming year. I tell myself that I will start working on my list on January 1 of the new year, and that this year will be my best one yet. Come February, I’m back to my old ways.
I’ve read and heard about the mental health benefits of journaling for years. For those living with a mental illness, journaling as self-care can be even more beneficial and therapeutic. I’ve always loved the idea of journaling; the book itself, the pens, the prompt, but I could never seem to keep up with it. I never knew what to put in it once I got started. Over time, though, I realized that there isn’t a right or a wrong way to journal. I think of it as a “stream of consciousness.”
A professor of mine died last week after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. I had him during my first semester at university for a human spirituality course, and even though I didn’t know him well, I thought he was amazing and admired him very much. He was brilliant and charming and funny, and during the service, so many of his students and colleagues, peers, and other experts in his field spoke of how caring and gentle he was, how he could shrug off anything and just be at peace.
This time of year is supposed to be special and joyful and full of fun. We all have our own ideas of the perfect holiday, the perfect family get-togethers and conversations, the perfect meal (Dealing with Bipolar at the Holidays – Expectations). But then life gets in the way and we’re all wrenched from our festive holiday bubble.
Regardless of whether or not you’re experiencing a state of depression or in a crisis or feeling pretty positive, it can be hard to love yourself and practice self-compassion. A lot of times, I hear other people who live with bipolar disorder and other mental health problems say that they hate themselves or feel ashamed of the things they feel (My Irrational Bipolar Brain Makes Me Hate Myself). For me, personally, I can tell myself, cognitively, that my feelings aren’t my fault, but it’s very hard to believe that emotionally.
Sometimes, I think about the people I went to school with when I was a kid and a teenager and I wonder where they are now, what their lives are like. Are they successful? Do they have their own homes? A nice and enjoyable career, or have they moved away? Rarely do I consider whether they have a severe mental illness. Many of us view our young adulthood years as the time when we find some of our first jobs and apartments and having the freedom to begin “Life.” But some of us aren’t so lucky. Our severe mental illnesses take an enormous toll on living (Living With A Mental Illness And Self-Stigma).
I am a college bipolar student, but graduation is almost here. I can already imagine the feelings of gratefulness and relief - and anxiety. This is a scary time, filled with graduation anxiety. The end of my academic life, the preparation for real life after college. Many, many college students and young adults feel inadequate and lost when entering real life, and this is undoubtedly one of the most stressful time in one’s life. There are so many things to do. Find a job, save up money (while paying off those student loans), living with parents and finding your own place. But what about those of us bipolar students and our anxiety? What can we do to reduce graduation anxiety?
Every October, I participate in the suicide prevention walk hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), and every year I raise money for them, feeling as if I’m doing my part to somehow prevent all of the suicides that happen every day. Lately, though, it seems as if I’ve been hearing more and more about suicides and less about suicide prevention.