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Effects of Anxiety

Anthony D'Aconti
It's safe to say I've been a procrastinator for as long as I can remember. Before I learned about anxiety disorders, I always thought the single greatest driving factor behind procrastination was laziness. After discovering the truth about anxiety and procrastination, I now see the deeper meaning behind putting things off.
Anthony D'Aconti
When it comes to anxiety, it is important to separate the myths from the facts. There are plenty of anxiety myths we believe to help cope with our symptoms but many of us run into trouble when the myths we believe are simply not true. Perhaps one of the most common and dangerous anxiety myths is that self-medicating can help us get through an anxiety-provoking situation.
Have you ever been afraid of getting too close in relationships? As humans it is one of our deepest desires to be in a relationship with others. Closeness is what gives us a sense of belonging, and nurtures a robust sense of self. On the other hand, isolation is one of the worst things for someone who is struggling. Being left alone to deal with our own negative spiral can feel like losing touch with reality. Yet, when we are struggling, we often feel drawn to isolate ourselves. I will tell you why.
Do you have travel anxiety? Has anxiety affected your travel plans and/or preparations? Traveling can bring up tons of worries: Will I be okay? What if something happens to people back home while I am away? What if I am alone and afraid? What if the plane crashes? What if it is overwhelming? What if I miss the plane, or hate my accommodations? What if I get lost? What if I am homesick, but stuck there? What if I can't get home? What if someone gets mad at me? What if I get anxious? You name the worry, I have heard it and then some. All these worries just about make you want to stay home!
Letting go of limiting beliefs is tough when you don't know how you're limiting yourself. Anxiety about yourself, life and the world stinks to high heaven. Sometimes the suffering is so constant or so intense we think that life is not worth living if we have to experience such torture. We feel encompassed by our anxiety and sadness that it wraps around our neck and threatens to pull us under with it. Barely having strength to tread water, we wonder why we don't just give up the struggle. And sometimes we almost do. Knowing how to let go of limiting beliefs is the life jacket you need.
I was talking a client down from a panic attack on the phone last week and he was telling me what was freaking him out the most. "I have to live with these thoughts. I will never be OK again." This has got to be one of the scariest things that Anxiety does. It makes you look in the future and only see it staring you down. You mourn every event you might have in your future–that it will be fraught with this horrible feeling. Frankly, it makes you not want to have a future.
My son owns a tee shirt that says, "When life hands you lemons, keep them. Because, you know, free lemons!" I like to keep life light. But sometimes crises happen and they can set our anxiety on overdrive. Once panic sets it, it takes all of our energy. Energy that we need to handle the situation! On the other hand, if we used that energy to handle the situation. It would make our anxiety go down! Really! Read on for Five Things To Do When You are In A Crisis:
Are you afraid to be needy? Why is that? Many people have neediness anxiety: aka “worry about being too needy.” Being “too needy” is generally frowned upon in our individualistic culture. And when we--the appropriate, regular human beings we are--desire some help or company, we mistakenly think something is way wrong with us. We make all kinds of excuses why the other person can't handle our problem on top of theirs; they are too busy or too important to care about us. These are all made up in our mind.
Anxiety is worse than wasted time. Wasted time is just lost time, but anxiety is suffering time. Much worse.
Both of my kids get nervous. Yet all too often, they don't use nervous-describing words to state that they are nervous. Instead, they say, "I don't want to." And when asked why, they say, "I just don't want to."  No reason. Or else they say "I can't." And then, deparately try to convince me that they can't. When they say, "I don't want to" do a chore, I get that there is a reason. I can agree. I don't like doing chores either. But when they say, "I just don't want to" go to a party when I know they always enjoy themselves at parties, this "I don't want to" is a telltale sign that they are nervous.