Emotional abuse treatment and therapy are available to help either one or both parties in the abusive situation. Emotional abuse treatment might be sought after experiencing emotional abuse in a personal relationship or even at work. In abusive situations, abusive behavioral and thought patterns tend to become deep-rooted over time and emotional abuse therapy can address this and work to create healthy, functional relationships in the future.

Emotional Abuse Treatment for the Abuser

Sometimes, the victim is able to coerce the abuser into emotional abuse treatment either in a couple or individual therapy setting. This is rarely helpful and can actually harm the relationship. In couple's therapy, the abuser has the chance to misrepresent themselves, paint themselves as a victim and charm the therapist into believing there is nothing wrong with them and indicating that the victim has all the problems. Most abusers are skilled manipulators and quite capable of getting a therapist, particularly one not specializing in emotional abuse, on their side.¹

Individual therapy for emotional abuse is even worse because then the therapist doesn't even have the victim's take on the interaction at all. The therapist is likely to acknowledge the feelings of the abuser which the abuser will take as a tacit endorsement of their emotionally abusive behavior.

Even if the individual therapy is successful in dealing with the deep-seated emotional problems of the abuser, this can simply make the abuser angry and give him or her another reason to emotionally abuse the victim: "It's so hard being me and now I have to deal with all your crap."

Only if the emotional abuser acknowledges that they have a problem with emotional abuse and are prepared to openly deal with it can emotional abuse therapy even have a chance to be successful. Most emotional abusers are not prepared to admit their behavior to a therapist, however.

Emotional Abuse Treatment for the Victim

Emotional abuse treatment for the victim has a better chance of being successful but only if the victim is prepared to be as open and honest as possible about the abuse. Many emotional abuse victims hide the abuse or the extent of the abuse, even from therapists, due to their own shame and guilt. An emotional abuse therapist though can only help when they truly understand the problem.

When seeking emotional abuse therapy, it's important to remember:

• The abuse is not your fault, you did nothing wrong
• Feeling guilt and shame over the abuse is normal but it isn't warranted
• The desire to hide the details of the abuse is normal but will be counterproductive in treatment
• Even if you don't leave the abuser, it's okay to get help

Emotional abuse therapy aims to rebuild the self-esteem and confidence of the victim. It also works to identify healthy relationship principles such as relationship roles, rights, and responsibilities. Therapy for emotional abuse also helps in developing emotional intelligence, learning to set boundaries and modifying behavior.

Types of therapy common in treating emotional abuse include:²

• Individual therapy
• Group therapy
• Journaling
• Psychotherapy (talk therapy)
• Cognitive behavioral therapy
• Somatic therapy

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Emotional abuse help may be needed to escape some severe emotionally abusive situations. Situations in which one party feels powerless against the other and in which the victim feels helpless and controlled may require intervention to facilitate emotional abuse recovery. Emotional abuse help is available in multiple forms and can aid in ending an emotionally abusive relationship.

When to Get Emotional Abuse Help

People often live with emotional abuse for a very long time without getting help. This could be for many reasons. Often the abuse starts small and builds up in severity over time and so it takes a while before the victim truly sees the abuse. The victim might also stay in an emotionally abusive relationship due to marriage vows, kids, finances or weakened self-esteem.

Regardless, there is a time when many people come to the conclusion they need emotional abuse support and help. This is typically when the emotional abuse becomes severe and daily. It's also time to get emotional abuse help when:

• The emotional abuse starts to negatively impact parts of life like work, school, and friendships
• Friends and relatives start to express concerns about the emotionally abusive relationship
• Abusive patterns are long-term and are ingrained

Emotional abuse help is almost always needed in long-term emotionally abusive situations as these tend to wear down the self-worth of the victim; making them believe they cannot leave the relationship or that they deserve nothing better. Emotional abuse help can support a person through these feelings to escape the abusive relationship.

What is Emotional Abuse Help?

There are two main kinds of emotional abuse help:

1. help to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship and
2. help to facilitate emotional abuse recovery

Both kinds can be useful.

For some, looking to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship involves more than just a break-up talk; it involves outside help to protect against the threats and other things the abuser might do to the person leaving the relationship. If you need emotional abuse help to leave a relationship, people you can turn to include:

• Doctors
• Psychiatrists
• Counselors / psychotherapists
• Faith leaders
• Help-lines (Check helplines on HealthyPlace)
• Womanslaw.org
• Peer support mentoring for emotional abuse recovery

Once a victim has left their abuser, they are on the path to emotional abuse recovery.

How to Recover from Emotional Abuse

It's important to remember that emotional abuse is not the victim's fault and that no one deserves to be abused. Armed with these two pieces of information, emotional abuse recovery is possible.

Any of the organizations listed under the emotional abuse help section can point the way to emotional abuse recovery resources. Typically some form of therapy is needed to fully recover from severe emotional abuse. These abusive patterns often become deep-seated and without help, abuse victims may repeat the pattern in other abusive relationships.

General counseling, psychotherapy (talk therapy) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can all have a place in emotional abuse recovery.¹

Read comprehensive information on Emotional Abuse Treatment and Therapy.

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Dealing with emotional abuse is something that many men and women face in relationships. Whether it's a marriage, a friendship or even a work relationship, learning how to cope with emotional abuse can become a reality.

The first step in dealing with emotional abuse is learning to spot the signs. If you're not aware of the emotional abuse, you can't make it stop. The first sign of emotional abuse might be just something in the pit of the stomach, a vague feeling that something is "wrong." It's only by further assessing these feelings and the relationship that emotional abuse can be seen and stopped.

In short, in an emotionally abusive relationship, one party will try to control and dominate the other party by using abusive techniques. There becomes a power imbalance in abusive relationships where the abuser has all the power and the victim feels that they have none. However, victims really do have the power in this situation to stop the emotional abuse, but it can be difficult.

Coping with Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse doesn't have to go unchallenged and coping with emotional abuse is more than just learning to "live with it." Emotional abusers are just like bullies on the playground and just like bullies, their abuse can be handled.

Use these techniques when coping with emotional abuse:¹

• Understand the abuser – while it can seem counterintuitive to have compassion for the abuser, sometimes changing the way you view the abuser can give you insight into coping with the abuse. Often abusers are insecure, anxious or depressed and remembering that may help you to keep the abuse in its proper context – the abuse isn't about you, it's about them.
• Stand up to the abuser – just like the playground bully, emotional abusers don't like to be challenged and may back down if you challenge their abusive tactics.
• Find positive ways to interact with the abuser – if you can handle the abuser in a neutral way, you may be able to see the positive in the abuser and find new ways to interact with him or her that is positive. This is mostly seen in workplace environments.
• Change the subject or use humor to distract from the situation.
• Never support acts of emotional abuse of others.

How to Stop Emotional Abuse

Dealing with emotional abuse isn't always an option though, particularly in severe cases or in intimate relationships.

Abusers don't stop emotional abuse on their own and it is up to the victims and those around them to help stop the emotional abuse. Although a victim may feel "beaten up" by the emotional abuser and may feel like they are nothing without him or her, the victim still can still stand up to the abuser and assert their own power.

Stopping emotional abuse takes courage. Use these techniques when stopping emotional abuse:

• Regain control of the situation by acting confident and looking the abuser in the eye.
• Speak in a calm, clear voice and state a reasonable expectation such as, "Stop teasing me. I want you to treat me with dignity and respect."
• Act out of rationality, with responses that will help the situation, and not out of emotion.
• Practice being more assertive in other situations, so you can be more assertive when being emotionally abused.

How to Stop Severe Emotional Abuse

In cases of severe emotional abuse, there may be no choice but to leave the relationship. Emotional abusers can only change so much as their behavior tends to be ingrained. If the abuser is not willing to change or get help for their abusive behavior, it is time for you to get your own help. No one deserves to be abused and help is available. Be sure to contact law enforcement if, at any time, you feel you or someone else is in danger.²

To stop severe emotional abuse:

• Remember you are not alone and that the abuse is not your fault
• Call a help-line
• Go to Womanslaw.org to find state and national help
• Contact a child and family welfare agency
• Talk to your doctor or other health professionals

Read more information on Emotional Abuse Help, Support, and Recovery.

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The effects of physical abuse are obvious – a black eye, a cut or a bruise – but the effects of emotional abuse may be harder to spot. Emotionally abusive husbands or wives can affect mood, sex drive, work, school and other areas of life. Make no mistake about it; the effects of emotional abuse can be just as severe as those from physical abuse.

And perhaps even worse is the fact that victims of emotional abuse tend to blame themselves and minimize their abuse, saying that it was "only" emotional and "at least he/she didn't hit me." But minimizing adult emotional abuse won't help and it won't hide its devastating effects.

Short-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

Short-term effects of an emotionally abusive husband or wife often have to do with the surprise of being in the situation or the questioning of just how the situation arose. Some emotional abusers don't begin their abuse until well into a relationship. Husbands or wives may find themselves shocked to see the new, emotionally abusive behavior. The behavior and thoughts of the victim then change in response to the emotional abuse.

Short-term effects of emotional abuse include:¹

• Surprise and confusion
• Questioning of one's own memory, "did that really happen?"
• Anxiety or fear; hypervigilance
• Shame or guilt
• Aggression (as a defense to the abuse)
• Becoming overly passive or compliant
• Frequent crying
• Avoidance of eye contact
• Feeling powerless and defeated as nothing you do ever seems to be right (learned helplessness)
• Feeling like you're "walking on eggshells"
• Feeling manipulated, used and controlled
• Feeling undesirable

A partner may also find themselves trying to do anything possible to bring the relationship back to the way it was before the abuse.

Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

In long-term emotionally abusive situations, the victim has such low self-esteem that they often feel they cannot leave their abuser and that they are not worthy of a non-abusive relationship. Adult emotional abuse leads to the victim believing the terrible things that the abuser says about him/her. Emotional abuse victims often think they're "going crazy."²

Effects of long-term emotional abuse by significant others, boyfriends or girlfriends include:

• Depression
• Withdrawal
• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Emotional instability
• Sleep disturbances
• Physical pain without a cause
• Suicidal ideation, thoughts or attempts
• Extreme dependence on the abuser
• Underachievement
• Inability to trust
• Feeling trapped and alone
• Substance abuse

Stockholm Syndrome is also common in long-term abuse situations. In Stockholm Syndrome, the victim is so terrified of the abuser that the victim overly identifies and becomes bonded with the abuser in an attempt to stop the abuse. The victim will even defend their abuser and their emotionally abusive actions.

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Emotional bullying is something everyone remembers from their childhood. Remember the biggest kid on the playground who wanted to play with a ball, so he just took it from a younger child? Or remember the time some kids surrounded someone who was a little different and teased and mocked them until they cried? Or maybe you recall the "cool" group of kids in school who would ignore you and never let you be part of their group?

You're remembering emotionally bullying. Emotional bullying is when a person tries to get what they want by making others feel angry or afraid.

What is Emotional Bullying?

Emotional bullying isn't just seen on the playground; emotional bullying, although likely subtler, is seen in adult relationships and workplaces too. An emotional bully might:¹

• Name-call, tease or mock
• Use sarcasm
• Threaten
• Put-down or belittle
• Ignore or exclude from a group
• Lie
• Torment
• Gang up on others
• Humiliate others

These behaviors can be seen in adult relationships, (see Psychologically Abusive Relationships: Are You in One?) like when an emotional bully makes another party "pay" for a perceived mistake or when an emotional bully constantly uses sarcasm in response to genuine questions. In the workplace, emotional bullying might be seen when "office pranks" are pulled in an attempt to humiliate a co-worker.

Effects of Emotional Bullying

And while some may write off emotional bullying as childish behavior or easily ignorable, research shows that emotional bullying can leave lasting scars on its victims (see Effects of Emotional Abuse on Adults). Moreover, those who have experienced emotional bullying are more likely to turn around and become emotional bullies themselves.

Emotional bullying can have negative effects on a person's mental health. Victims often feel shame, guilt, embarrassment and fear. These effects of emotional bullying can result in:

• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Shyness
• Poor academic or job performance
• Isolation
• Threatened or attempted suicide

Emotional bullying can also lead to a version of Stockholm Syndrome, where the victim over-identifies with the emotional bully and even defends the bully's behavior to others.²

How to Deal with an Emotional Bully

The same advice that works in the schoolyard also works with adults: ignore or stand up to bullies.

Adults have more understanding of an emotional bully's behavior than a child does and can see behind a bully's actions to someone who may feel scared and alone and is lashing out. Adults can also understand that an emotional bully's behavior is not about the victim but about the abuser. An emotional bully doesn't just bully one person; they attempt to dominate others in that way as well.

Armed with this knowledge, someone who has been emotionally bullied can see the behavior as the symptom of an illness rather than as a personal attack. This simple change in point of view may be enough to make an emotional bully's behavior easier to ignore.

Standing up to an emotional bully is another tried and true technique, however. When someone stands up to an emotional bully, the bully is forced to change. It's unlikely that an emotional bully will ever change completely, but small alterations in behavior are possible and even more can happen if help is sought. Standing up to an emotional bully makes it more likely that the bully will realize that there is a problem and they may even be more willing to get help for it.

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When someone pictures an emotionally abusive man or woman, they often picture some sort of caricature. They might picture someone of a lower socioeconomic status, a blue collar worker or an uptight housewife. No matter what picture of an emotionally abusive person you have in your head, you are wrong because emotionally abusive men and women run the gamut and no group of people is immune. In fact, if a group of people were to sit in a room, drinking coffee, you would have no way of pointing out which were the emotionally abusive men and women. There are no outward signs of an emotionally abusive person. There may even be no signs when interacting with them, as abusers tend to be able to turn their abusive behavior on and off when convenient.

Emotionally Abusive Men and Women Seek Control

No matter who the emotionally abusive person is, they seek power and control over their victim. Children are the most common victims of emotional abuse for just this reason – parents want to completely dominate and control their children into doing what is "right." Similarly, a husband or wife may abuse their spouse to control them into "behaving correctly," in the mind of the abuser.

Emotional abusers seek to have their way irrespective of those around them, assuming that their way is "best," "right," or simply most convenient for them. Ironically, many people who emotionally abuse do so because they themselves are scared of being controlled.

Characteristics of Emotionally Abusive Men and Women

Emotionally abusive men and women are of all different types but some common characteristics are found among many of the abusers. Emotional abusers tend to believe they are "owed" by everyone and thus everyone (including their victim) should give them what they want. This makes them feel entitled to give orders, control, and abuse in order to get what they want. Similarly, emotionally abusive people tend to be self-centered to the point where they feel they can, and should, tell others what they are thinking and feeling.

For men, this may be the idea that men are superior to women and they believe in stereotyped male and female roles. They often talk about being the "man of the house." An abuser also might claim to be superior due to their background or ethnicity.

Other characteristics of emotionally abusive men and women include:¹

• Low self-esteem – some abusers abuse others to make themselves feel good about themselves, although some people feel that the opposite is true in many cases.
• Rush into relationships – some abusers enter relationships and claim "love at first sight" very quickly, perhaps fearing being alone. (Read about: Dynamics of Emotional Abuse in Relationships, Marriage)
• Extreme jealousy – an abuser may see jealousy as a sign of love rather than possessiveness.
• Having unrealistic expectations or demands – an abuser will demand that the victim be the perfect spouse, lover, and friend and fill every need, even when this isn't reasonable or healthy.
• Create isolation – an abuser will work to cut off ties to the victim to keep the victim completely centered on the abuser.
• Use of force during sex – acting out scenarios where the victim is helpless may be part of their sex life.
• Use drinking to cope with stress – alcohol doesn't cause the abusive behaviors but abusers have a higher-than-average rate of alcohol abuse
• Have poor communication skills – abusers may have trouble with open conversations about their feelings so they abuse instead.
• Are hypersensitive – abusers often take the slightest action as a personal attack.
• Appear charming to others – abusers tend to hide all their abusive behaviors in other scenarios so that the victim is the only one that sees their abusive side making it very difficult for the victim to reach out for help (Information about Emotional Abuse Help).

And although emotionally abusive people set out to purposefully hurt victims, they often minimize their role and blame the victim for the abuse. "She made me do it," or "he should have known not to talk to me when I was in that kind of mood." Abusers often claim they have no control over their abusive behaviors.

Personality Disorders and Emotionally Abusive Men and Women

It is also known that many emotionally abusive men and women have a type of mental illness known as a personality disorder. Personality disorders are estimated to affect about 10-15% of the population. In the case of a personality disorder, a person develops hurtful and maladaptive patterns of thought and behavior that are consistent throughout their lifetime.

Three personality disorders are linked to emotionally abusive behavior are:²

• Narcissistic personality disorder – this disorder involves the perception of being grandiose and requiring the admiration of others. People with narcissistic personality disorder exaggerate their own accomplishments, have a sense of entitlement, exploit others, lack empathy, envy others and are arrogant.
• Antisocial personality disorder – this disorder shows a pattern of disregard for the rights of others and the rules of society. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to lie, be aggressive, disregard safety, violate the law and have a lack of remorse.
• Borderline personality disorder – this disorder involves intense and unstable relationships, self-perception and moods. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to have poor impulse control. People with BPD frantically avoid abandonment, are impulsive, are suicidal or self-harming, feel empty, feel inappropriate anger and may be paranoid.

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Emotional abuse in relationships, marriage, is sneaky because while abuse is taking place, no physical marks or scars ever appear. Often the only sign that something is wrong in emotionally abusive relationships is just a feeling that something is amiss. Often the victim can't quite put their finger on it, but to outsiders, there is often no doubt that emotional abuse is taking place.

Emotional abuse in any relationship, including marriage, has the same dynamic. The perpetrator aims to gain power and control over the victim. The abuser does this though belittling, threatening or manipulative behavior.

Behavior in Emotionally Abusive Relationships, Marriages

Abusive behavior can be enacted by a female or male and either a female or male can be a victim. (Information about Emotional Abuse of Men) And it's important to remember that even though the scars from emotional abuse are not physical, they can be every bit as much permanent and harmful as the scars of physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is designed to chip away at a person's self-esteem, self-worth, independence and even make them believe that without the abuser they have nothing. Tragically, this keeps victims in emotionally abusive relationships as they feel they have no way out and that they are nothing without their abuser.

Emotional abuse comes in many forms, they include:¹

• Financial abuse – the abuser does not allow the victim control over any of the finances
• Yelling
• Name-calling, blaming and shaming – forms of humiliation
• Isolation – controlling access to friends and family
• Threats and intimidation
• Denial and blame – denying or minimizing the abuse or blaming the victim; saying that the victim "made them do it"

These emotionally abusive behaviors seen in relationships, marriages, are all used in an attempt to control the victim.

Signs of Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Signs of an emotionally abusive relationship can sometimes be seen more easily from the inside out. Assessing an emotionally abusive relationship may first start with how you feel about the relationship and then move on to actually dissecting the nature of the abuse.

Signs an emotionally abused person in a relationship might notice are:

• Feeling edgy all the time
• Feeling they can't do anything right
• Feeling afraid of their partner and what they might say or do
• Doing or avoiding certain things in order to make their partner happy
• Feeling they deserve to be hurt by their partner
• Wondering if they're crazy
• Feeling emotionally numb, helpless or depressed

How to Handle an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

The most obvious way of handling an emotionally abusive relationship is by leaving the marriage or other relationship. In fact, depending on how far the emotional abuse has gone, this may be the only option, no matter how impossible a task it may seem.

In more minor cases of emotional abuse though, other options may be available. Standing up against the emotional abuse and no longer being a willing party to it may lead to a change in the relationship dynamic. More likely, individual counseling may be necessary to address the destructive emotionally abusive dynamics in the relationship or marriage.

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While abuse of women is widely known, what is not widely recognized is that men can be victims of emotional abuse too. It's unfortunate, but true, that women and men can be just as emotionally abusive towards men as they can be towards women. And emotional abuse of men is every bit as unacceptable as the emotional abuse of women.

Emotional abuse of men is more common than once thought although the exact numbers on its occurrence aren't known due to lack of study. In domestic abuse, about 40% of cases involve violence of women against men.

What is Emotional Abuse of Men?

Emotional abuse of men is the same as emotional abuse of women: it is acts, including verbal assault, that make a person feel less self-worth or dignity. Emotional abuse of men makes them feel like less of a person.

Male victims of emotional abuse may experience partners that:

• Yell and scream
• Threaten them and try to induce fear
• Insult and demean them; tell them they are not worth the trouble
• Socially isolate them
• Lie or withhold information
• Treat them like a child or servant
• Control all the finances

When Women Emotionally Abuse Men

Some believe that men are more sensitive to emotional abuse than woman and can "brush off" physical abuse more easily. Male victims of emotional abuse who are called a "coward," "impotent," or a "failure," may be more affected by these remarks than their female counterparts.¹

Controlling and emotionally abusive behaviors elicited by women may include:²

• Falsely accusing or threatening to accuse a man of assault on them or their children
• Threatening to take away custody of the children
• Threatening to kill themselves or others
• Making the man feel like "he's crazy"
• Minimizing the abuse; blaming the victim of the abuse
• Playing mind games
• Making the man feel guilty
• Falsely obtaining a restraining order
• Withholding affection
• Stalking

Why Do Men Stay in Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Like women, many men stay in emotionally abusive relationships. This can be for many reasons but certainly in part due to the toll that emotional abuse can take on a man's self-worth. He may not believe he is worthy enough to leave the relationship or he may believe he deserves the emotional abuse.

Men may also stay in emotionally abusive relationships because:

• Of threats made by their abuser
• To protect the children
• They feel dependent on the abuser

What Can Male Victims of Emotional Abuse Do?

Unfortunately, due to lack of awareness, programs for male victims of emotional abuse are almost nonexistent. However, private counseling and general anti-violence advocacy groups may be helpful.

Male victims of emotional abuse can:

• Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE
• Call the Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD

Male victims of emotional abuse should also:

• Leave the relationship, if possible
• Tell others about the abuse
• Keep evidence of abuse for possible legal actions
• Not retaliate

More information on Emotional Abuse Treatment and Therapy.

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Emotional abuse is common among children and many adults, so many ask: "Am I emotionally abused?" Take this emotional abuse test to find out if you're in an emotionally abusive situation.

Emotional Abuse Quiz Instructions

Carefully consider each question while thinking about yourself and your partner. Answer "yes" or "no" to each question on this emotional abuse quiz.

Emotional Abuse Test

Do you...

1. feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
2. avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
3. feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
4. believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
5. wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
6. feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner...

1. humiliate or yell at you?
2. criticize you and put you down?
3. treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
4. ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
5. blame you for their own abusive behavior?
6. see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
7. have a bad and unpredictable temper?
8. hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
9. threaten to take your children away or harm them?
10. threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
11. force you to have sex?
12. destroy your belongings?
13. act excessively jealous and possessive?
14. control where you go or what you do?
15. keep you from seeing your friends or family?
16. limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
17. constantly check up on you?

Emotional Abuse Test Scoring

The more questions you answered "yes" to in this emotional abuse quiz, the more likely it is that you are in an abusive relationship.

If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, reach out. No one deserves to be emotionally abused by another person, no matter what the circumstance. Remember that you are not alone and there are people available to help you.

To get help for emotional abuse:

• Call a helpline listed on HealthyPlace
• Go to Womanslaw.org to find state and national help
• Contact your local police or call 911 if you feel you are in immediate danger
• Contact a child and family welfare agency
• Talk to your doctor or other health professionals

Emotional abuse test adapted from Domestic Abuse and Violence by HealthGuide.org.

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Emotional abuse can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. Children, teens and adults all experience emotional abuse. And emotional abuse can have devastating consequences on relationships and all those involved. Just because there is no physical mark doesn't mean the abuse isn't real and isn't a problem or even a crime in some countries.

Definition of Emotional Abuse

One definition of emotional abuse is: "any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth."¹

Emotional abuse is also known as psychological abuse or as "chronic verbal aggression" by researchers. People who suffer from emotional abuse tend to have very low self-esteem, show personality changes (such as becoming withdrawn) and may even become depressed, anxious or suicidal.

Emotional Abuse Signs and Symptoms

Emotional abuse symptoms vary but can invade any part of a person's life. Signs of emotional abuse include:

• Yelling or swearing (read about Emotional Bullying and How to Deal with an Emotional Bully)
• Name calling or insults; mocking
• Threats and intimidation
• Ignoring or excluding
• Isolating
• Humiliating
• Denial of the abuse and blaming of the victim

Emotional abuse, like other types of abuse, tends to take the form of a cycle.² In a relationship, this cycle starts when one partner emotionally abuses the other, typically to show dominance. The abuser then feels guilt, but not about what he (or she) has done, but more over the consequences of his actions. The abuser then makes up excuses for his own behavior to avoid taking responsibility for what has happened. The abuser then resumes "normal" behavior as if the abuse never happened and may, in fact, be extra charming, apologetic and giving – making the abused party believe that the abuser is sorry. The abuser then begins to fantasize about abusing his partner again and sets up a situation in which more emotional abuse can take place.

More information on Dynamics of Emotional Abuse in Relationships.

Examples of Emotional Abuse

In some countries emotional abuse is defined and the following examples of emotional abuse are given by Justice Canada:

• Threats of violence or abandonment
• Intentionally frightening
• Making an individual fear that they will not receive the food or care they need
• Lying
• Failing to check allegations of abuse against them
• Making derogative or slanderous statements about an individual to others
• Socially isolating an individual, failing to let them have visitors
• Withholding important information
• Demeaning an individual because of the language they speak
• Intentionally misinterpreting traditional practices
• Repeatedly raising the issue of death
• Telling an individual that they are too much trouble
• Ignoring or excessively criticizing
• Being over-familiar and disrespectful
• Unreasonably ordering an individual around; treating an individual like a servant or child

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