The Apocalypse Suicide Page
Hello, and Welcome. The Apocalypse Suicide site is to help people who are planning suicide and those who are trying to help a suicidal person to live. This is not a professional page and is not here to exploit anyone. There are no promises and no guarantees here. What is here is my own message to those in trouble. These pages will always deal honestly with both the subject of suicide and the ideas presented. My qualifications are that I am, and have been, a depressed person most of my life and am very familiar with the illness. I also lost my only son to suicide in 1995. These are things that I would have told him if I had known his plans.
Let's suppose that you are the person planning your own death. Ok, you know how, when, where, and have the means to kill yourself. All that was easy. You may have persuaded yourself that death is the only answer for you. The truth is that there are always other choices. Do you feel that no one cares about you and what you are going through? You are wrong. Many people care, many more people than you know.
As you see, depression is a killer. It takes away all the enthusiasm and fun from peoples lives, and makes suicide seem a viable choice. If this is where you are, please get professional help (talk to your doctor or someone at a suicide hotline now). The most common cause of suicide in the USA is Undiagnosed Depression. You must get help. No one can read your mind and subtle hints will not save you. The reason that hints do not work is because those close to you do not want to believe you would kill yourself, and because they can't know how desperate you are. You must take an active role in saving your own life. Do something! Your life will be better for it, but you must act. I take antidepressants every day. I now enjoy my life and know that I have to take the pills to function better and to have a good life. The doctors and medicine can't "cure" you without you doing anything to make yourself better. You have to work on helping yourself. These things can help.
Here are things that took me years to understand:
1. You and I must not interpret the present based on things of the past. Let each thing that is said or done be on it's own. Live in the "now" only. Put the past behind you and keep it there. Dreaming of what might have been will keep you from living the in the "now", and it incorrectly colors the present. If someone says something, accept the meaning without allowing the past to change it in your mind.
2. Stand up for yourself. Don't let others get away with trying to make you a victim. This is not a "get even" thought, it is a "stand up for yourself at all costs and all of the time" thought. Some people will walk on you if they can - don't let them. If they get away with it they will do it again and again, and you will despise yourself for letting them do that to you. You deserve better.
3. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and almost all mistakes are fixable. Learn from the mistake, forgive yourself and get on with living.
4. Learn to choose and to make your own decisions. By not choosing or deciding, we feel much less "in control" and we are that much more the victim. Get rid of "anything, doesn't matter, and whatever" those are not constructive choices. Many times, the lack of making decisions cause us to lose control of our lives, and that can lead to self hate.
5. Watch out for idealistic thinking, try to stay real, we are not in a perfect world and you and I must not try to be martyrs. We can't show others by our willingness to suffer or die for our ideals. Other people probably won't understand the reason for our pain anyway, and our subtlety will be wasted.
6. Much of the hostility and/or hate you are directing inward to yourself should have been and should be directed away from yourself and toward those who deserve it - but, don't direct it toward people who don't deserve it.
These are things that you can do to help yourself:
A- Know your enemy. Learn to recognize the symptoms of depression.
B- Take responsibility for your illness and be active in the treatment of it. If you know you're depressed, get help and do not wait. If your doctor or therapist isn't helping you, change to a different one (they work for you).
C- Get guilt out of your life. Guilt is what parents used to control you as a child. You are not a child anymore, so don't carry guilt around. (Also if you are doing things that make you feel bad about yourself, stop doing them).
D- If your depression is "out of control," talk to at least five people about it or until someone sees your desperation. Most people are not able to understand if they aren't trained professionals, but most anyone would help you if they knew how.
E- If you use alcohol or drugs stop. When they say "alcohol is a depressant" they aren't kidding. I can't stress this enough! I couldn't get my depression and my life under control until after I stopped drinking - totally. This fact took me years to finally understand. You also don't need the turmoil that comes with drinkers. (See "Where do we go from here?" link).
F- When you most feel like hibernating and avoiding people, force yourself to get dressed and be with others. There are also links here on listening, on conversation, and on assertiveness that can help you be more comfortable and effective when communicating with others.
G- Start an exercise program. Exercise combats depression. Exercise twice a day - it really helps. To make it easier do it every day. Make it a routine, and don't stop if you have a few bad days. If you are having a bad time, tell your therapist.
H- Put a card on your bathroom mirror and read it aloud five times in the morning and same at night. The card says: "I am a very worthwhile person". You are. We always remember more of the bad things in life than the good, and this reinforces our sense of worth. If you are feeling worthless do it now.
I- Most importantly get help from professionals. See your doctor (Md.), call a hotline, call 911, You can also check into any emergency room anywhere - It's sure better than trying suicide, and people there are trained to get you help. They will understand, but act. "Just do it."
Apocalypse means a revelation. Please use these things I have suggested. Depression will do it's worst to keep you from acting and using these suggestions, but you must act! Using only one probably won't help much, so try to put some of them into effect as soon as you can. You are a total package and Apocalypse is here to help you get your total package back together. The web has other good resources, but I don't think they spell out a program for you with the why's. I sincerely hope and pray you understand, and that this helps you.
You don't have to be miserable!
You don't have to die!
There is hope!
The National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Or for a crisis center in your area, visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
- About Roger: The Apocalypse Suicide Page
- Antidepressant Medications: Sample Directions For Taking Antidepressants
- Assertiveness, Non-Assertiveness, and Assertive Techniques
- Depression and Suicide Crisis Centers and Hotlines
- Conversation Techniques
- A Depressed Person's Letter
- For Depressed and Suicidal People
- Listening Skills: A Powerful Key To Successful Negotiating
Last Updated: 18 June 2016
Reviewed by Harry Croft, MD