Change Is the First Step to Healing Verbal Abuse

December 7, 2023 Cheryl Wozny

Change is critical when healing from verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is a damaging tactic that many individuals use in relationships for various reasons. Although it may be common, this method of communication is harmful to the recipient. It can cause negative side effects for years, even after the verbal abuse is no longer present. The only way to move away from verbal abuse and heal is to change. 

Changing the Verbally Abusive Behaviors to Heal

Naturally, the easiest way to stop someone from being verbally abusive is to stop their negative behaviors. In some cases, individuals may not realize they are using verbal abuse within a relationship. With this dynamic, having an open, honest discussion can allow the person to see how damaging their words are to others. 

In other situations, individuals may not understand how hurtful they can be when speaking to others. Therapy can be an excellent method of helping people recognize the harm in verbal abuse and how to navigate relationships without using this tactic. 

Changing a person's approach doesn't happen overnight. Many individuals who are working hard to move away from using verbal abuse may still slip up and resort to past behaviors. When this happens, it's critical to acknowledge the action and reinforce better communication methods with others.

Healing verbally abusive behaviors through change isn't a linear journey. You may have good days and bad days where mistakes happen. The important thing to remember is that you are trying and want to continue to be better for yourself and others as you continue to heal.

Living with verbal abuse myself, I've developed some unhealthy habits that can be verbally abusive. I've had past situations when I've said things I shouldn't have and felt bad about. So, I've made an effort to be sincere and apologetic when it does happen, and I continuously work towards healing to be a better person to others. 

Changing Your Attitude to Heal from Verbal Abuse

If you are stuck in a verbally abusive situation, changing your attitude towards it can make a significant difference in your healing process. Often, targets of verbal abuse have a low self-worth, making it challenging to stand up against their abuser. Altering how you see the relationship and what you want in your personal connections can help you begin to heal and move away from verbal abuse. 

Once you recognize how damaging verbal abuse is, you can make choices to eliminate it from your life. Your attitude towards your abuser and yourself will dictate your healing process. In some situations, speaking up against the abuse can give you back some confidence in how to care for yourself. You may realize that the relationship is not worth the hurt and negativity. It's okay to make the change and walk away from a verbally abusive situation. 

If you experienced verbal abuse in the past, you may have negative emotions which you carry with you daily. Instead of focusing on how bad the relationship was, you can learn to find connections that don't include verbal abuse. It can take time and therapy, but with consistency and the right tools and resources, it's possible to heal from verbal abuse through change. 

I now see myself and my mental health as a priority. I try to ensure others don't say things that are meant to hurt me. Although there are times when I am passive and walk away rather than confronting the verbal abuse, I'm still actively making a change to help myself. 

APA Reference
Wozny, C. (2023, December 7). Change Is the First Step to Healing Verbal Abuse, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 22 from

Author: Cheryl Wozny

Cheryl Wozny is a freelance writer and published author of several books, including mental health resources for children titled, Why Is My Mommy So Sad? and Why is My Daddy So Sick? Writing has become her way of healing and helping others. Find Cheryl on TwitterInstagramFacebook, and her blog

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