The thing about living with anxiety is you're never alone. It's there, like a shadow, filling up the extra spaces in your day. When your head hits the pillows, it pops up. You're quiet: It's loud, and louder. And oh, hang on, it's 2am. 3am. 4am. "Why can't I settle down? What's wrong with me? What if, and how will I ever...?"

Sometimes I'd wake up in the morning, wondering how the bed could hold the weight of it all. Before opening my eyes, the fear that I might experience anxiety today overwhelmed me. I felt stuck and stupid for not knowing how not to be afraid. I struggled with seemingly simple things like going to the store because those things seemed like asking for trouble. I'd fret and fidget, and do just about anything to avoid thinking about next time. That's anticipatory anxiety, and it's common to most every single person with an anxiety disorder.