The Gray Area of Suicide: Suicidal Ideation
Are you in the gray area of suicide? Not everything is black and white, and that includes suicide. Sometimes, I feel suicidal but I also know that I won't actually give into those feelings. You may feel this way too, and you probably think that you are alone in this. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so today, I want to raise awareness for those of us who are in the gray area of suicide.
What Is the Gray Area of Suicide?
Personally, I think the gray area can mean different things for different people. I cannot speak for other people's experiences, but I can speak of my own. For me, there are times when I feel at peace with dying. I don't want to take action, but yet, I wouldn't be upset if something were to happen. These feelings do not just come up when I feel down; sometimes I am actually in a great mood.
How I Handle the Gray Area of Suicide
I have always dealt with anxiety and depression, and have done extensive work to heal myself. Along with healing my anxiety and depression, my feelings of suicide have become less and less frequent. When I feel it come up, I do my best not to give power to it. I talk to someone I love and tell them how I am feeling just to get it out in the open. I constantly remind myself that the feeling is temporary, and it will pass. It isn't always this simple, but for the most part, it works for me.
Maybe you are like me and have felt suicidal, but do not take action to harm yourself. If this is you, you are not alone and you are still worthy of help. If you or someone you know are having thoughts of suicide, whether it is in the gray area or not, use the resources below.
If you feel you may hurt yourself or someone else, call 9-1-1 immediately.
If you need help with distressing thoughts (including suicidal thoughts), call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
For more information on suicide, please see our suicide resources here.
Eaklor, B. (2018, September 23). The Gray Area of Suicide: Suicidal Ideation, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, August 23 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/toughtimes/2018/9/the-gray-area-of-suicide-suicidal-ideation
Author: Brandy Eaklor
I’ve no one who visits. Therefore I’ve let the depression tell me “who cares what this place looks like”, when it’s only ever me and my dog I love more than life.
My reaching out has become limited to sites like this which is awesome but I crave human connection and a HUG from someone I care about. Those are becoming fewer and fewer in numbers. I’m afraid for myself most days of what’s going to become of me? I don’t have this under control, but if someone sees me out and I look normal they think I’ve got it all together. I feel as if friends think I’m crying wolf when I’ve reached out. That’s the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do is ask for such a simple thing as a shoulder and an ear.
Thank you all for being here. I wish we didn’t need to be, but it’s a huge help to know someone is.