People need to stop being perfectionists. Being a perfectionist is destructive to your self-esteem, mental health and general wellbeing. However perfectionism is a common self-esteem problem that can be hard to recognise. If you’re like many people, you might be asking, “What’s wrong with being a perfectionist?” Perfection can easily be confused with having high standards but they're not the same. High standards can be healthy, productive and good for your self-esteem. However, a perfectionist will have standards that are unreasonable, unhealthy and counterproductive. It’s important to recognise perfection as a problem. Here's how to stop being a perfectionist. 

It can be challenging to start socialising when you have low self-esteem. Feelings of self-doubt, not being good enough, fear of being rejected, judged, or embarrassed, or believing you don’t belong can all get in the way. Perhaps you don't know where to begin and it may seem easier to isolate yourself. Additionally, if you don’t have real friends, it can feel intimidating to get out there on your own. However, it’s important that you do socialise even when you have low self-esteem. You need to start socialising in order to meet people, make friends and build your self-esteem.

Self-care is important for your physical health as well as your mind, soul and, let's face it, your overall health. Without self-care, your relationships with others can suffer tremendously. Last week's blog explained how you can practice self-care on a budget, which is important. But true self-care doesn't have to cost a dime!

Volunteer activities build self-esteem, so volunteering your time is well worth considering. Volunteer activities offer benefits for you and your community, plus there are many options to consider. You can find something that's suited to your needs and interests, and you can make it work for you. Read this to find out how volunteering builds your self-esteem.

Self-care on a budget is possible. In fact, most acts of emotional self-care don't cost a thing. Self-care is simply the practice of treating yourself with enough respect that you honor and fulfill your own needs as they arise. Self-care on a budget is entirely possible.

It’s important to stop using avoidance to deal with self-esteem issues. While it may sometimes seem easier, avoidance is not a healthy way of coping, and it can cause more problems later on. Issues will still be present and they’ll probably become magnified over time. Avoidance can keep you stuck and it can worsen your self-esteem. Stop using avoidance to deal with your self-esteem issues and find a better way.

Insecure thoughts keep you from being happy and impact one's entire wellbeing. Everyone is insecure in some capacity, including me. The problem is that insecurities can be insidious and take over your life. They can keep you from feeling confident enough to try the things you know will make you happy. You don’t get to live your life when you are letting your negative thoughts and insecurities run the show. You don’t have to let insecure thoughts keep you from being happy any more.

Learning to say no confidently is a challenge many people face, particularly those with low self-esteem. Too many people are afraid to say no and that comes with consequences. For example, it makes it very easy for others to take advantage of you and your own needs don’t get met. You might take on too many things or do things you resent doing. You could become overwhelmed, burned out, anxious, depressed, angry or bitter at the other person. This is not good for your physical or mental health. Learning to say no confidently is important for your own self-care and overall wellbeing.

Stop being too hard on yourself because being too hard on yourself goes hand-in-hand with a low self-esteem. Signs of being too hard on yourself include excessive self-blame, self-criticism, negative self-judgement, self-punishment, and dwelling on your mistakes or flaws. Additionally, you may overlook or discount your positives. It is detrimental to your wellbeing and it’s important to stop it. Stop being too hard on yourself and build your self-esteem. 

What are your rights in relationships? Do you feel like others take advantage of you or that they don't listen to you? Do you feel like you wish others would be more appreciative or respect you more? If so, you need to get clear on what your rights are in your relationships, it will help you feel more confident and you will develop healthier connections with others.