Stop Quitting the Things You Enjoy and Build Self-Confidence
It’s important to stop quitting the things you enjoy just because you're not confident. If you’re like many people, you may be depriving yourself of things you enjoy simply because you’re not good at them or feel inadequate. Perhaps you don’t try something because you’re afraid of exposing your weaknesses or imperfections, you fear making mistakes or you fear failure. Perhaps you compare yourself to others or worry too much about what others think. You might feel vulnerable and that can be very uncomfortable. However, doing things for the sake of enjoyment is important for your self-esteem, mental health and overall wellbeing. Stop quitting the things you enjoy just because you're not confident.
Reasons to Stop Quitting the Things You Enjoy
Healthy self-esteem means having a healthy attitude towards yourself as you are right now. That means loving yourself as a whole person, including your imperfections. Doing things you're not confident with can help you to overcome perfectionism and fear of failure. It can teach you to be vulnerable, authentic and accepting of yourself for who you are. Doing things you're not totally confident about takes you out of your comfort zone and provides opportunities for learning and growing.
Doing the things you enjoy teaches you to focus on the process, live in the present moment and worry less about the end result. Most of all, it gives you good feelings which are important for your mental health and self-esteem.
How to Stop Quitting the Things You Enjoy
- When you're not confident, do it anyway. Have the courage to do something regardless of your negative thoughts and feelings. Think about the enjoyment and personal growth you’ll get from it.
- Make enjoyment the focus or goal. It’s okay to do things purely for the sake of enjoyment. Have fun and realise that you don’t have to be good at everything. Do things that create good feelings because they’re important for your wellbeing.
- Be fully present. Let yourself be engaged in the present moment and forget about the outcome or how good you are. Practice mindfulness.
- Know that your worth does not depend on ability or talents. Your worth is who you are as a person, and your ability doesn’t change that. Doing something you’re not so good at can help you to see this.
- Realise that you’ll get better with practice. The things you enjoy might not be the things you're good at. However, you can get better by doing something. Everything in life has to be learned and you never know how good you'll become. Even if you don’t become an expert, you’ll still become better than you currently are.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes. That’s how you learn and grow, and it's also a part of being human (How Not To Expect Too Much Of Yourself).
- Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are a unique individual with your own strengths and weaknesses. Forget about what others are doing, and do what’s right for you (Stop Comparing Yourself To Others To Improve Self-Esteem). Life's not a competition.
- Join a group. Find a group where the focus is purely on participation and enjoyment. Avoid those that are overly serious or competitive. Check what's available in your local community.
- Stop worrying about what others think. Most people really don't care how good you are at something and many will probably have their own issues to deal with (How To Stop Worrying About What Others Think). The right people will be drawn to you as a person and not because of your talents or abilities.
- Learn to accept yourself unconditionally. Love yourself unconditionally and don’t take yourself too seriously. Enjoy being you and be prepared to laugh at yourself from time to time.
Most importantly, do the things you enjoy purely for the sake of enjoyment. Allow yourself to have good feelings, learn to enjoy the moment and love yourself as a whole, imperfect person. Talents or abilities don’t change your worth as a person and you deserve to have enjoyment. Stop quitting the things you enjoy just because you're not confident.
Agathangelou, F. (2015, October 20). Stop Quitting the Things You Enjoy and Build Self-Confidence, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, March 30 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/10/stop-quitting-the-things-you-enjoy-just-because-youre-not-confident
Author: Fay Agathangelou
2019!!! :) I am a Cub Scout Leader and this year am Cubmaster with a pretty decent level of responsibility. In a couple of months I am scheduled to participate in a leader training program over two weekends. At the moment I am seriously contemplating pulling out of the training all together and quitting my position as a leader. Despite the lies told to me by others, I believe I am better off staying home and not being involved in anything.
Hi Jeff, you are entitled to your beliefs, and I encourage you to explore them. Often our beliefs come from past experiences we've had, which we benefit strongly from understanding. Thank you for your comment.
Your article explains how I feel to a T. My family tells me I am a good artist. But even with that I feel so inadequate with my ability that most of the time I can't even pick up a pencil without anxiety. When I do push myself to draw I can't let anyone see my art work because I can't accept a compliment without feeling guilty and unworthy. I am working on this with baby steps. I worked up my courage and I gave my son a picture I drew of himself and his girlfriend. She cried when he showed her cause she loved it. This helped me realize that I can give joy to others and show them how much I care. I finally got the courage this last spring to take a drawing class at our local community college. The teacher encouraged us to walk around and look at the other students art work. Seeing other people struggling with compliments like me actually helped me realize I wasn't alone in my feelings. Thank you for this article. It give me insight and tools to help me on my journey.
Hello Gloria, Thanks very much for your comment. Well done on persisting with the art and also for taking the class. It's obviously something that you enjoy, and that's a good enough reason to keep doing it.
You're certainly not alone in how you feel and I'm glad you realise that. A lack of confidence certainly distorts your view about yourself and your abilities. Your experience is a great example of how our own negative perception is not necessarily the truth, and it's not how other people see us. Thank you for sharing, and keep at it.
Good article. I just about gave up everything. I am finally jogging again and that definitely helps start the day with much lessened anxiety and depression. You are right in that people need to be around less people where competition and money is their life. Thanks.
Hi John, thanks for your comment. It's great that you're making positive changes in your life. Jogging is a wonderful way to start the day and I'm glad it's helping with the depression and anxiety.
It really is good to be around the 'right' people - those who value you as a person. Life's not a competition and it's important to follow your own path.
Glad you enjoyed the article, and keep on moving forwards.
First off, great post! This is something I've read about, but Facebook seems like something that can crush a person's confidence. That website is full of the greatest moments of the lives of friends and family. It can make a person feel like they are not doing enough with their life, or that their life is boring in comparison.
I know that I had to leave Facebook a few years ago because I was crushed that I wasn't doing "enough" to compete with friends and family. In the end, I had to grow as a person. Like your article says, I had to stop worrying about what others thought of me.
Self confidence can be difficult to obtain, but when you have it, you'll never give it up.
Hello Josh, thanks very much for your comment. I agree that self-confidence can be a challenge but it can be attained.
A lot of people find social media particularly problematic; too many compare themselves to others, or worry too much about what others think. In general, Facebook doesn't paint an accurate picture of someone - people tend to post their achievements, celebrations and good things that they want others to see. However, you don't see what's going on behind all that, and most people do have their own issues.
Fellow blogger Emily Roberts recently wrote about "How Social Media Messes With Your Confidence" - you might like to check it out if you haven't already http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/07/how-social-media-messes-with….