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How to Accept Your Flaws

October 31, 2018 Sam Woolfe

Learning how to accept your flaws is important to developing healthy self-esteem. Find some ways to accept your flaws healthfully at HealthyPlace.

We all need to learn to accept our flaws because improving your self-esteem doesn’t mean you should only recognize your positive traits. Appreciating your virtues, of course, does help to combat low self-esteem. However, if you focus exclusively on positive attributes, this could land you in the trap of narcissism. Having healthy self-esteem involves looking at your flaws as well. This is because self-esteem needs to be grounded in reality. When you have a down-to-earth perspective on yourself, you avoid the extremes of narcissism and self-criticism. This allows you to relate to yourself in a more understanding way.

But learning how to accept your flaws is no easy task. Speaking from personal experience, when my self-esteem has been extremely low, my flaws became this huge weight. My distorted outlook would exaggerate and transform my flaws into something extremely ugly. They pointed to my undeniable brokenness and horribleness as a person.

When you sincerely accept your flaws, on the other hand, you don’t experience all of this guilt and harshness. Let’s take a look at some of the steps you can take to accept your flaws and move past low self-esteem.

Working on How to Accept Your Flaws? Remember These Points

Flaws Don’t Make You a Terrible Person

The first important thing to realize is that making mistakes and having weaknesses doesn’t make you a fundamentally bad person or unforgivable. We all have positive attributes and the capacity to act in a virtuous way and improve ourselves. When you give up the need to be perfect, you can view flaws as part of being human.

Flaws Make Life Interesting

If you were perfect, life would start to become quite dull. If you could maximize your full potential in an instant, there would be no room for growth. So much of what we value in life depends on how we change over time, whether that relates to our career, relationships, or self-development. Having nothing to work on would zap the meaning from life. So instead of believing that your flaws make you unlikeable, think of them instead as the rough edges that make you a unique work in progress.

Mindfulness Allows Flaws to Exist But Not to Torment You

One effective method for accepting faults and shortcomings is mindfulness. This is the practice of noticing whatever arises in the present moment without judgment. There is a clear difference between looking at a flaw mindfully and non-mindfully. In the case of the former, flaws are calmly embraced. They are simply something to be aware of, nothing to get hot and bothered about. With a non-mindful outlook, in contrast, flaws may be denied, rejected, hidden, exaggerated, and colored in a self-critical way. You can get entangled in a narrative you create about your flaws, leading to low self-esteem, low mood, anger, frustration, irritation, shame, and guilt.

Take a Reality Check

Your mind can weave a compelling story about what you’re like as a person. But this story isn’t always accurate (in fact, it’s often way off the mark). If you are unsure about whether you have a genuine flaw or are questioning your interpretation, get a second opinion. Seek out input from someone you trust and respect. At the same time, though, don’t rely on others to boost your self-esteem. Your aim should be to develop a rational point of view that you can depend on. So be mindful of whether other people in your life are aiding or hindering that goal so learning how to accept your flaws becomes easier.

APA Reference
Woolfe, S. (2018, October 31). How to Accept Your Flaws, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, September 19 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2018/10/how-to-accept-your-flaws



Author: Sam Woolfe

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