Stop Using Avoidance to Deal with Self-Esteem Issues
It’s important to stop using avoidance to deal with self-esteem issues. While it may sometimes seem easier, avoidance is not a healthy way of coping, and it can cause more problems later on. Issues will still be present and they’ll probably become magnified over time. Avoidance can keep you stuck and it can worsen your self-esteem. Stop using avoidance to deal with your self-esteem issues and find a better way.
How to Stop Using Avoidance to Deal with Self-Esteem Issues
- Understand that avoidance is damaging to self-esteem. Avoidance won't solve any issues and it's damaging to your self-esteem. Conversely, taking action is empowering and essential for personal growth. Think of the longer term gain and the sense of achievement in accomplishing your goals. Focus on action instead of avoidance.
- Step outside of your comfort zone. In order to change you need to do something different to what you’re used to. Be prepared to tolerate discomfort and have the courage to face your fears. For example, if you’re avoiding people because you don’t feel good enough, practice being around people until you become more and more comfortable.
- Start with small, achievable goals. Baby steps lead to gigantic leaps. For example, in terms of social interaction, the first step may be showing up to a place where there’s people. You can gradually build this up over time. Don’t expect to do everything at once and forget about perfection. Mistakes are part of the learning process so give yourself permission to make them.
- Recognise your achievements no matter how small. Give yourself credit for your efforts, because it can be easier to do nothing. Taking any action instead of avoidance is a great achievement in itself.
- Stop procrastination. Act now, and don't put off action until later. Why delay building your self-esteem? Every day, do one thing that will move you one step forward.
- Act against your negative thoughts. Remember that negative thoughts distort your reality so don’t let them overpower you. Do what’s good for you, and act regardless of your negative thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself, "what’s the worst that can happen?" It's unlikely to be as catastrophic as you imagine and you will cope regardless.
- Use affirmations. Believe you can do it and keep on motivating yourself to take action. You could say encouraging things to yourself or write it down. Find a way that works for you.
If you are a persistent avoider and having trouble with it, don’t be afraid to seek the help you need. You don’t have to face your issues alone, and sometimes there are personal barriers that need to be addressed. Stop using avoidance, and, instead, take action to deal with your self-esteem issues. You can do it.
Agathangelou, F. (2015, August 25). Stop Using Avoidance to Deal with Self-Esteem Issues, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, June 20 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/08/stop-using-avoidance-to-deal-with-self-esteem-issues