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Bipolar Coping – Bipolar Vida

Regardless of whether or not you’re experiencing a state of depression or in a crisis or feeling pretty positive, it can be hard to love yourself and practice self-compassion. A lot of times, I hear other people who live with bipolar disorder and other mental health problems say that they hate themselves or feel ashamed of the things they feel (My Irrational Bipolar Brain Makes Me Hate Myself). For me, personally, I can tell myself, cognitively, that my feelings aren’t my fault, but it’s very hard to believe that emotionally.
Sometimes, I think about the people I went to school with when I was a kid and a teenager and I wonder where they are now, what their lives are like. Are they successful? Do they have their own homes? A nice and enjoyable career, or have they moved away? Rarely do I consider whether they have a severe mental illness. Many of us view our young adulthood years as the time when we find some of our first jobs and apartments and having the freedom to begin “Life.” But some of us aren’t so lucky. Our severe mental illnesses take an enormous toll on living (Living With A Mental Illness And Self-Stigma).
I am a college bipolar student, but graduation is almost here. I can already imagine the feelings of gratefulness and relief - and anxiety. This is a scary time, filled with graduation anxiety. The end of my academic life, the preparation for real life after college. Many, many college students and young adults feel inadequate and lost when entering real life, and this is undoubtedly one of the most stressful time in one’s life. There are so many things to do. Find a job, save up money (while paying off those student loans), living with parents and finding your own place. But what about those of us bipolar students and our anxiety? What can we do to reduce graduation anxiety?
I've experienced a fear of failure for months now, as my final semester of university quickly approaches. I have been freaking out about taking my most dreaded (and difficult) class during my last semester. If I didn't do well, my graduation would be delayed, and to me, I would have succumbed to my fear of failure (How To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure). It would be the end of the world to me. For days I felt as if a huge rock was sitting on my chest, pressing down and preventing me from breathing. I felt guilty and inferior to everyone else – no one else seemed to have the same difficulty as I did with this class – and I began fearing the worst. I just knew that I would soon fall into that usual pattern of procrastinating any work for fear or failing, and staying in bed because I just couldn't face real life.
While brainstorming ideas for this week's blog, I kept noticing that all of the tips and suggestions that our doctors and support groups give us throughout our bipolar recovery are repetitive, and can become frustrating to hear over-and-over again. I always think to myself I do those things! I'm trying! but I always seem to find myself stuck in that rut of hopelessness. I try my best to maintain a regular sleep schedule, I exercise, I track my moods... But while in school, I still feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless as if I haven't learned any coping strategies at all (Bipolar Disorder and the Pressure to Get Better). So this week, I've decided to do something a little different. While waiting to fall asleep the other night, I created a mental list of little things that may seem silly to some, but that I have realized have helped me throughout my time away at school and during tough times --things that a lot of doctors never really think of or mention to students with bipolar disorder.
It's that time of year again; time to put together our bipolar survival guide and head back to school. There are only a few weeks left until this fall semester and the beginning of a new school year arrives. For many of us, this little vacation has been a brief reprieve from the stress, emotions, and hard work, but it's now time to return and we all need to be mentally prepared. Here's a bipolar survival guide for your back to school stress. Take a look.
When bipolar disorder's irrational thoughts occur, how does one even begin to make friends? In public, I feel as if everyone is watching me and talking about me, or making internal judgments. I'm acutely aware of every person in the vicinity; watching their movements, noticing any eye contact, listening for whispers. Cognitively, I know that this is irrational (Co-Occurring Bipolar and Anxiety Disorders). I know that I am not the center of everyone's attention, that there is nothing wrong with my physical appearance and actions. In all reality, the majority of those people haven't even given me a second thought. But when you experience bipolar disorder's irrational thoughts, it can be difficult to make friends.
I wasn't coping with my thoughts of giving up on school very well the year before I was due to graduate. I was ready to quit school. I would sit in my therapist's office and cry at the thought of going back to campus that following Monday, and it negatively affected my mental health. I would freak out and cry at the drop of a hat, I would freeze up in class and become so jittery that I could barely sit in class.
Symptoms of bipolar disorder can make it difficult to volunteer even though giving back benefits those of us living with bipolar disorder. However, as a person living with bipolar, I often feel inadequate, hopeless, and inferior, so it's essential to find opportunities to give back that we can become passionate about and look forward to.
Between the social expectations of college and the stress of every day life that young adults face, substance use is something that many of us living with bipolar disorder often turn to (Self-Medication Of A Mental Health Problem).