When Anxious Thoughts Are a Broken Record, Change Your Tune
Anxious thoughts act like a broken record. An anxious thought will start to play in the mind, and once it does, that obsessive thought plays over and over and over again. Listening to our anxious thoughts nonstop can make them grow ever bigger and stronger, and we come to believe them. Our worries feel real when anxiety is a broken record. When this happens, it's time to change our tune.
Anxiety Is a Broken Record
Picture a turntable. A black, vinyl disc teeming with potential music rests on the platter. You place the needle into a groove and start the player. The disc begins to spin, and a song bursts into the room, filling the room and your mind with music. It's not the music you wanted to hear though; in fact, it's so awful you want it to move to a different song. To your dismay, it never moves. The needle is stuck in the groove because the record is broken. You have to listen to the terrible song play on.
Anxiety is like this broken record. The song itself is wrong. Anxiety puts horrible thoughts in our head, thoughts like you're going to fail or you're not good enough, or something terrible will happen. Once an anxious thought begins, it often picks up speed, screeching its painful song ad nauseam.
It's natural to throw our hands over our ears when anxiety repeats itself. It's also natural to want the turntable to stop spinning, to wish the anxious thoughts would cease. When we focus on wanting anxiety to stop repeating itself in our mind, though, we are inadvertently keeping that record spinning. Instead, we should stop wishing for the anxious music to stop and instead take charge of changing the tune.
How to Change the Tune When Anxiety Plays Its Broken Record
Repetitive, anxious thoughts are wearing. They keep us in a state of agitation and stress and leave us feeling overwhelmed. This broken record of anxiety keeps us focused on the very thing causing our anxiety, which makes it difficult to break free. It doesn't have to be this way. When your anxiety is a broken record, you can take steps to change the tune.
Letting the broken record continue to play keeps us focused on our anxious thoughts. Rather than thinking about what we don't want, it's more helpful to focus on what we do what instead. In doing so, we're changing out tune in order to reduce anxiety.
Tips for Changing the Tune When Anxiety Is a Broken Record
- Recognize the anxious thought that's playing like a broken record. What specifically is it telling you?
- Realize that you don't have to listen to this record. At any given time, you have the power to decide what you will and will not pay attention to.
- Don't argue with the anxious thoughts. You can't argue a needle out of a broken groove. Instead, simply acknowledge them and proceed to step four.
- Decide what thoughts you'd rather have instead. What do you want to focus on? What would you rather be pursuing?
- Practice your song. Once you know how you want to replace your anxious thoughts, rehearse. Write down your new thought(s) multiple times. Play it (them) in your head. Repeat.
- Add a dance. This means action. What steps are you going to take every day to keep your new record spinning?
Keep doing these steps patiently and persistently and you will change your tune when anxiety becomes a broken record. Force the anxious thoughts out of your head to make room for positive, forward-moving thoughts.
NCC, T. (2017, June 22). When Anxious Thoughts Are a Broken Record, Change Your Tune, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, September 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2017/06/when-anxiety-is-a-broken-record-change-your-tune
Author: Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC
I hope your fiancé finds these useful. This type of support that you're giving him is helpful in and of itself!