VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED: Language on this site is sexual in nature. Not recommended for younger or sensitive viewers.

I'm Krista. Welcome to The Psychology of Sex website for both women and men.

I don't know about you, but I used to have very mixed feelings about sex and/or a relationship with someone else. When I was in counseling, my therapist would say this is normal for everyone. "Sometimes you want it, sometimes you don't," she'd say.

Then I'd chime in: "and sometimes you want it with someone else and other times, you're better off alone."

Since sex isn't just about procreation anymore, I think that's what makes it so confusing for people. What's right? What's wrong? How do you handle the mechanics of sex, your sexual desires, and balance that with any emotional feelings you may have?

Self-esteem plays a big role in how you feel about sex and how you handle relationships. Communication is another big issue. You need to learn how to talk in a way so the other person can hear and understand you.

And then there's always "I didn't know that!" or "what's wrong with me?"

Most sex guides I've come across concentrate on "technique" - this position, these toys. You won't really find that here. For a moment though, I want you to think back on your sexual history and replay in your mind one of your favorite sexual experiences. What were the key elements of this experience that made it so good for you? I'm actually willing to bet that the key elements didn't have much to do with technique at all, and had more to do with passion and energy.

I'm not a licensed therapist or sex counselor of any kind. I just have a strong interest in the subject. Hopefully you'll find some answers to questions you might have and as you can imagine, the psychology of sex is very interesting.

I invite you to come inside and explore it with me.

• how to have good sex

• sex and intimacy

• sexual fantasies

• sexual problems

• sexual health

• sex therapy

• women and sex

• men and sex

• teenage sex

If you found it informative and helpful, I hope you'll pass the word around to others you know and click the link to send this page to a friend.

Have you ever wondered what your (or anyone else's) sex life is like, compared to the average sex life of the world population?

next: All This Sex Talk - You Must Want It, Right?

Is it possible you have an ego state disorder? Do you dissociate? This questionnaire may help you decide if you should get help now.

1. Do you sometimes find yourself "zoning out" in the middle of a conversation, nodding your head appropriately, but unable to get yourself back in it and fearful that you will be found out?
2. Did you spend a lot of time in fantasy as a child, so much so that teachers or parents criticized you for being "in another world" a good bit of the time?
3. Does fantasy interfere with your life as an adult? Do you daydream about pleasant things so much that it jeopardizes your job or compromises your relationships?
4. Do you feel like quite a different person from time-to-time?
5. Do friends suggest that you seem quite changeable, different from day-to-day?
6. Are you accident-prone?
7. Do you make a lot of "Freudian slips" -- where you think one thing but say or write something quite different, even the opposite?
8. Do you have a sense that part of you is missing or had to be jettisoned along the way?
9. Do you notice things about your sex life that you think are weird, like hating to be touched in ways that most people seem to enjoy?
10. Do you have large chunks of your childhood that are devoid of memories?
11. Are you more indecisive than most of the people you know?

[A score of six or more "yes" answers is suggestive of Ego State Disorder.]

Caution: This is not a standardized test, and the scoring is only suggestive.

next:  Understanding Dissociative Disorders Through Dissociative Signs and Symptoms

Many women and men who have been the victims of childhood physical, sexual, and emotional abuse suffer from depression. The articles here deal with different aspects of abuse and depression.

Depression and Child Sexual Abuse

There is a growing controversy over whether child sexual abuse (under age 18) is related to adult depression or adjustment. Numerous studies have reported that child sexual abuse is related to adult mental health problems including depression.

When Abuse Stops, Depression Eases

Meanwhile, a 2003 study on domestic violence indicated that increased risk of depression appears to be a consequence of spouse or partner abuse rather than a character trait of victims.

Evidence of that comes from the study of 397 women in Seattle who had reported abuse during a 14-month period from 1997 to 1998, the researchers say. They monitored the women for symptoms of depression, checking in three months, nine months and two years after the initial report of abuse, and they also surveyed them on subsequent physical, psychological and sexual abuse.

As the violence decreased or stopped, the women's risk of depression fell as well, says lead researcher May Kernic, an assistant professor of epidemiology at the University of Washington. It dropped 35 percent when abuse ceased altogether and 27 percent when physical or sexual abuse stopped but psychological abuse continued. The findings appear in the June 2003 issue of Violence and Victims.

About 1.8 million women are abused by a male partner each year, according to the National Violence Against Women Survey, and previous studies have shown that such violence increases the likelihood of depression and other psychological problems.

For the most comprehensive information about Depression and Treatment, visit our Depression Community Center here at HealthyPlace.com.

next: Abused Children Face Depression Risk As Adults
~ all abuse library articles

This ADHD medication chart compares ADHD medications, their doses, side effects, duration and safety.

Source:
The A.D.D. Warehouse. http://addwarehouse.com

This chart was updated 4/19/04.
Treatment of ADHD usually includes medical management, behavior modification. counseling, and school or work accommodations. The medications charted above include: (1) the stimulants, (2) the non-stimulant Strattera (atomoxetine) with effects similar to stimulants, (3) the antidepressant Wellbutrin (bupropion) and (4) two antihypertensives Catapres (clonidine) and Tenex (guanfacine). Stimulants include all formulations of methylphenidate (Ritalin, Focalin, Metadate and Methylin) and all forms of amphetamines (Dexedrine, Dextrostat and Adderall). Individuals respond in their own unique way to medication depending upon their physical make-up, severity of symptoms. associated conditions, and other factors. Careful monitoring should be done by a physician in collaboration with the teacher, therapist. parents, spouse, and patient. Medications to treat ADHD and related conditions should only be prescribed by a physician. Information presented here is not intended to replace the advice of a physician.

next: Risks, Benefits of ADHD Medications Can Change With Time
~ adhd library articles
~ all add/adhd articles

Child abuse and adult depression are related. Find out how sexual abuse as a child can lead to adult depression.

In the past ten years, research on depression has focused on the levels of physical and sexual abuse suffered by women in the United States. The recognition of the severity of this issue, in terms of its impact on both the lives of the abuse victims and on public health matters as a whole, cannot be understated. Various studies have established that more than one-fourth of women have experienced sexual abuse as a child and that roughly fifteen percent of respondents indicated that they had been raped at some point.

Statistically, women are ten times more likely to experience such abuse than their male counterparts.

Given the stark truth of those figures, medical experts wondered about the possible correlation between exposure to sexual and physical abuse during childhood and/or adolescence and the onset of clinical depression as an adult.

While women are believed to experience depression associated with childhood abuse twice as often as men, no risk factors could account for the difference between the genders. In a study performed by researchers from Harvard Medical School and the Brigham and Women's Hospital, this hypothesis was put to the test.

As part of a larger survey that was focused on the interrelationship between major depression and ovarian function, researchers submitted a questionnaire to 907 women between the ages of 36 and 45, of whom 732 responded. The group was chosen randomly from the greater Boston area over a two-year period. Utilizing accepted clinical tools to identify individuals who could be classified as having the disorder, the team then followed up with a secondary survey dealing specifically with exposure to violent acts.

The data that were obtained in the responses of the women brought home how severe this problem is: one out of two women indicated that they had feared or been a victim of some violent act, sexual or physical, during their early years. This same group also showed double the risk of developing depressive disorders when compared to the control group who had not been victimized. In reviewing the information, the researchers did note that in studies of this sort, some erroneous reporting by the subjects is possible. However, when compared to other studies dealing just with the exposure to personal violence, the findings were consistent as to the prevalence of those types of acts.

Clearly, the findings in this study support the conclusion that a link exists between abuse in early life and the onset of depression in later years. Further research is certainly warranted in this area, as is added attention by health care professionals to screening individuals at risk for these kinds of mental conditions due to a history of exposure to violence. It is past time to remove the stigma that has shrouded those who have suffered and to help them to heal, physically and mentally.

Source:

Wise, L., Zierler, S., Krieger, N., Harlow, B. (Sept. 15, 2001). Adult onset of major depressive disorder in relation to early life violent victimisation: A case-control study. The Lancet, 358(9285), 881-887.

For the most comprehensive information about Depression and Treatment, visit our Depression Community Center at HealthyPlace.com.

next: Child Abuse - The Hidden Bruises
~ all abuse library articles

Chapter 99 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan:

YOU OFTEN COMPARE YOURSELF to others. We all do. You look at the way people look and sound and move, and you check how you measure up. When you stop at an intersection in your car, you watch people walk across the street and you pass judgment on the person's hairstyle, the way they dress, and so on, and you don't even try to do this. It is completely automatic.

You may not be able to stop yourself from doing it. But you can change the way you do it.

When you compare yourself to people, you look to see how they're different from you. And when you look at another and note your differences, it makes you feel superior if the comparison turns out in your favor and inferior if it turns out in their favor. When you feel superior, your feelings are communicated subtly through the way your body moves and through your voice tone, and this can make the other person feel inferior. All this mental nonsense creates a general feeling of alienation it affects your attitude and your relationships.

But there's another option. Instead of looking for differences, you can look for similarities.

Look and listen to people and notice how they are like you. Our feelings of friendliness toward people are affected by how alike we feel. When you know someone is from your home town or went to your college or is the same religion, you automatically feel more kinship with them. When you look for similarities you increase your feelings of compassion and affection toward that person. Where you once felt bad about yourself from an unfavorable comparison or made the other person feel bad because you found him to be inferior, there will now be good feelings.

Try it the next time you catch yourself judging a person or when someone annoys you. Force yourself to notice your similarities. Recall times when you acted in similar ways. Studies show we tend to think others' bad actions stem from personal motives, yet we tend to think our own bad actions are caused by circumstances beyond our control. This causes unnecessary anger between people, which is bad for health and doesn't help relationships much. Actively looking for similarities is the antidote. It's a new habit, so it will take some practice, but the process is enjoyable and the end result is too.

Notice how other people are similar to you.

How to enjoy your work more, ultimately get paid more, and feel more secure on the job.
Thousand-Watt Bulb

Make your boss a great person to work for.
The Samurai Effect

One way to be promoted at work and succeed on the job may seem entirely unrelated to your actual tasks or purpose at work.
Vocabulary Raises

This is a simple technique to allow you to get more done
without relying on time-management or willpower.
Forbidden Fruits

next: Send a Blessing

Children who are abused and neglected are at increased risk of becoming depressed adults, new research suggests.

The study, which appears in the January issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, examined the relationship between abuse and neglect during childhood and depression in adulthood.

Researchers from the New Jersey Medical School tested their theory that abused and neglected children are at increased risk of depression as adults.

The study included 676 children who had been physically and sexually abused and neglected before age 11, and 520 children who had not been abused or neglected. The researchers followed the children into young adulthood.

"The current results show that childhood physical abuse was associated with increased risk for lifetime major depressive disorder," the authors wrote. "We also provide new evidence that neglected children are at increased risk for depression as well."

Children who were abused and neglected were 51 percent more likely to be depressed in young adulthood. Those who were physically abused and those who experienced multiple types of abuse had a 59 percent and 75 percent increased risk of being depressed during their lifetime, respectively, compared with children who were not abused or neglected.

Childhood sexual abuse was not associated with an elevated risk of depression. But, as the authors pointed out, the study participants who had been sexually abused reported significantly more symptoms of depression than the children who had not been abused or neglected.

The onset of depression started in childhood for many of the participants.

"Our age-at-onset findings reinforce the need to intervene early in the lives of these abused and neglected children, before depression symptoms cascade into other spheres of functioning," the authors wrote.

Source: JAMA/Archives, news release, Jan. 1, 2007

For the most comprehensive information about Depression and Treatment, visit our Depression Community Center here at HealthyPlace.com.

next: Child Abuse and Adult Depression: The Harsh Reality
~ all abuse library articles

Take our OCD screening test to see if you have the sympotoms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Check your results and then get detailed information about diagnosis and treatment of OCD.

PART A

Please select YES or NO.

Have you been bothered by unpleasant thoughts or images that repeatedly enter your mind, such as:

1. concerns with contamination (dirt, germs, chemicals, radiation) or acquiring a serious illness such as AIDS?
YES
NO

2. overconcern with keeping objects (clothing, groceries, tools) in perfect order or arranged exactly?
YES
NO

3. images of death or other horrible events?
YES
NO

4. personally unacceptable religious or sexual thoughts?
YES
NO

Have you worried a lot about terrible things happening, such as:

5. fire, burglary, or flooding the house?
YES
NO

6. accidentally hitting a pedestrian with your car or letting it roll down the hill?
YES
NO

7. spreading an illness (giving someone AIDS)?
YES
NO

8. losing something valuable?
YES
NO

9. harm coming to a loved one because you weren't careful enough?
YES
NO

Have you worried about acting on an unwanted and senseless urge or impulse, such as:

10. physically harming a loved one, pushing a stranger in front of a bus, steering your car into oncoming traffic; inappropriate sexual contact; or poisoning dinner guests?
YES
NO

Have you felt driven to perform certain acts over and over again, such as:

11. excessive or ritualized washing, cleaning, or grooming?
YES
NO

12. checking light switches, water faucets, the stove, door locks, or emergency brake?
YES
NO

13. counting; arranging; evening-up behaviors (making sure socks are at same height)?
YES
NO

14. collecting useless objects or inspecting the garbage before it is thrown out?
YES
NO

15. repeating routine actions (in/out of chair, going through doorway, re-lighting cigarette) a certain number of times or until it feels just right
YES
NO

16. need to touch objects or people?
YES
NO

17. unnecessary re-reading or re-writing; re-opening envelopes before they are mailed?
YES
NO

18. examining your body for signs of illness?
YES
NO

19. avoiding colors ("red" means blood), numbers ("l 3" is unlucky), or names (those that start with "D" signify death) that are associated with dreaded events or unpleasant thoughts?
YES
NO

20. needing to "confess" or repeatedly asking for reassurance that you said or did something correctly?
YES
NO

SCORING PART A:

If you answered YES to 2 or more questions, please continue with Part B.

PART B
The following questions refer to the repeated thoughts, images, urges, or behaviors identified in Part A. Consider your experience during the past 30 days when selecting an answer. Select the most appropriate number from 0 to 4.

1. On average, how much time is occupied by these thoughts or behaviors each day?
0 - None
1 - Mild (less than 1 hour)
2 - Moderate (1 to 3 hours)
3 - Severe (3 to 8 hours)
4 - Extreme (more than 8 hours)

2. How Much distress do they cause you?
0 - None
1 - Mild
2 - Moderate
3 - Severe
4 - Extreme (disabling)

3. How hard is it for you to control them?
0 - Complete control
1 - Much control
2 - Moderate control
3 - Little control
4 - No control

4. How much do they cause you to avoid doing anything, going any place, or being with anyone?
0 - No avoidance
1 - Occasional avoidance
2 - Moderate avoidance
3 - Frequent and extensive
4 - Extreme (housebound)

5. How much do they interfere with school, work or your social or family life?
0 - None
1 - Slight interference
2 - Definitely interferes with functioning
3 - Much interference
4 - Extreme (disabling)

Sum on Part B (Add items 1 to 5): ________

SCORING
If you answered YES to 2 or more of questions in Part A and scored 5 or more on Part B, you may wish to contact your physician, a mental health professional, or a patient advocacy group (such as, the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation, Inc.) to obtain more information on OCD and its treatment. Remember, a high score on this questionnaire does not necessarily mean you have OCD--only an evaluation by an experienced clinician can make this determination.

Copyright, Wayne K. Goodman, M.D., 1994, University of Florida College of Medicine

next: Anxieties Site Homepage
~ ocd library articles
~ all ocd related disorders articles

sex therapy

Thought Field Therapy has potential for the treatment of sexual disorders and sexual dysfunction. In a week-long couple's workshop, 16 couples in various stages of marriage presented many opportunities to see Thought Field Therapy in action.

In sex therapy, the basic strategy of treatment depends on the specific sexual dysfunction. While sensate focus is designed to reduce anxiety, it may increase anxiety in couples with underlying fears. Genital pleasuring can evoke negative feelings, defenses against the appearance, odors or secretions of the partner or person's genitals. For example, a woman in her 40's who had been married for 23+ years had a phobia about not wanting her husband's semen on her body, was disgusted at the thought of having semen anywhere near her face or mouth, and for any kind of oral stimulation of the penis.

I did a diagnostic TFT treatment on her. After the TFT session and home play, she reported the following: "I did not tell Larry anything about TFT prior to our home play. I was somewhat skeptical of TFT even though I really wanted it to work. To Larry's surprise, and I mean surprise, and to my amazement and delight the treatment worked. This was the first time in our years of marriage that I was able to be the 100% giver and it felt good to give back to him in ways I could never bring myself to do before."

"I later told Larry about TFT and he said it would be worth it to send me across the country for this treatment." Other sessions of TFT during the week involved successful therapy for a dislike of kissing, performance anxiety, inability to achieve orgasm, fears, and other phobic reactions. Thought Field Therapy's application in the arena of any phobic or fear response make it a viable treatment modality for many sex problems.

Most therapists find problems of sexual desire difficult to treat. Traditional sex therapy and marital therapy are the least effective in this area. In my work with a young man in his 30's, complaining of sexual boredom and passionless sex, two sessions of TFT with causal diagnosis has made a major shift in his response to women.

The strategy of sex therapy is to -modify the couple's transactions so as to eliminate fear, guilt, and anxiety,- (quote from Helen Singer Kaplan, The illustrated Manual of Sex Therapy, 1987) Thought Field Therapy is a non-threatening treatment approach that can eliminate all of the above.

What Thought Field Therapy does not propose to treat is the quality of the relationship of the couple, their ability for intimacy or their communication styles.

Victoria Danzig, LCSW, has the Thought Field Therapy Center of La Jolla where she does approved trainings in Callahan Techniques® TFT. Her web page is: www.thoughtfield.com.

Next, have you ever thought about self-help Sex Therapy?

next: Sex Therapy? Hang On! Maybe Self-Help Will Do

sexual problems

Erectile dysfunction, impotence, doesn't only affect men, it also affects partners of men like you. That's why it's so very important to keep the lines of communication between you and him open. You may already know from experience that erectile dysfunction (impotence) can be a difficult subject for some men. But the truth is, erectile dysfunction (impotence) is very common. About 30 million men in the United States suffer from erectile dysfunction (impotence) in some way. Erectile dysfunction (impotence) is nothing to feel embarrassed about or ashamed of.

The big myth is that erectile dysfunction (impotence) is all in his mind. In most cases, erectile dysfunction (impotence) is associated with a treatable medical condition. As his partner, you are in a unique position to encourage him to seek treatment for erectile dysfunction (impotence) and support him through what can be a difficult time for some men.

One treatment option for erectile dysfunction (impotence) is Viagra - a pill produced by Pfizer that taken an hour before sexual activity that helps most men obtain an erection in response to sexual stimulation. By letting him know that Viagra and other medications are out there to help him, you can help your partner take action. Let him know that you support him, are interested in his treatment and are willing to participate in all manners that will help him find a solution.

More: how impotency affects relationships.

next: National Institutes of Health Consensus Development Impotence Conference Statement