Tips for Helping Kids and Teens with Homework and Study Habits

Certain key practices will make life easier for everyone in the family when it comes to study time and study organization. However, some of them may require an adjustment for other members of the family.

  • Turn off the TV set. Make a house rule, depending on the location of the set, that when it is study time, it is "no TV" time. A television set that is on will draw youngsters like bees to honey.
  • What about the radio? Should it be on or off? Contrary to what many specialists say, some youngsters do seem to function all right with the radio turned on to a favorite music station. (Depending on the layout of your house or apartment, maybe an investment in earphones would be worthy of consideration.)
  • Certain rules should be set about the family phone during study hours. The more people in the household, the more restrictions on long and unnecessary phone calls are needed. A timer, placed next to the phone, can help to control the length of calls so that the telephone will be available if it becomes necessary to call a schoolmate to confirm an assignment or discuss particularly difficult homework.
  • Designate specific areas for homework and studying. Possibilities include the child's room or the kitchen or dining room table. Eliminate as much distraction as possible.

Certain key practices will make life easier for everyone in the family when it comes to study time and study organization.Since many young people will study in their own rooms, function becomes more important than beauty. Most desks for young people really don't have sufficient space to spread out materials. A table that allows for all necessary supplies such as pencils, pens, paper, books, and other essentials works extremely well.

Consider placing a bulletin board in your child's room. Your local hardware store sells wallboard that might not look too pretty and isn't framed, but a 4 x 3'section is inexpensive and perfect on which to post pertinent school items. You might want to paint or cover it with burlap to improve its appearance or let your child take on this project.

Encourage the use of a small book or pad for writing down assignments so that there is no confusion about when certain assignments must be turned in to the teacher.

Keeping general supplies on hand is important. Check with your child about his needs. In fact, make it his responsibility to be well supplied with paper, pencils, note pads, notebook paper, etcetera.

Regularity is a key factor in academic success. Try to organize the household so that supper is served at a standard time, and once it and family discussions are over, it's time to crack the books. If the student doesn't have other commitments and gets home reasonably early from school, some homework can be done before supper.

Organize study and homework projects. Get a large calendar, one that allows space for jotting down things in the daily boxes. Rip it apart so that you (and the child) can sequentially mount the school months for the current semester. For example, you can tear off September, October, November, December, and January and mount them from left to right across one wall. Have the child use a bold color writing instrument (felt tip pen) to mark exam dates in one color, reports that are coming due in a different color, et cetera. This will serve as a reminder so that things aren't set aside until the last dangerous moment.

Teach your child that studying is more than just doing homework assignments. One of the most misunderstood aspects of schoolwork is the difference between studying and doing homework assignments. Encourage your child to do things like:

  • take notes as he's reading a chapter
  • learn to skim material
  • learn to study tables and charts
  • learn to summarize what he has read in his own words
  • learn to make his own flashcards for quick review of dates, formulas, spelling words, et cetera

Note-taking is a critical skill and should be developed. Many students don't know how to take notes in those classes that require them. Some feel they have to write down every word the teacher says. Others have wisely realized the value of an outline form of note-taking. Well prepared teachers present their material in a format that lends itself to outline form note taking..




Should notes ever be rewritten? In some cases, they should be, particularly if a lot of material was covered, and the youngster had to write quickly but lacks speed and organization. Rewriting notes takes time, but it can be an excellent review of the subject matter. However, rewriting notes isn't worth the time unless they are used for review and recall of important information.

A home dictionary is essential, but if it is kept on a shelf to gather dust, it won't do anyone any good. Keep it in an accessible place and let your child see you refer to it from time to time. If the family dictionary is kept in the living room and the child studies in his room, get him an inexpensive dictionary for his exclusive use.

Help your child to feel confident for tests. Taking tests can be a traumatic experience for some students. Explain to your child that burning the midnight oil (cramming) the night before a test is not productive. Better to get a good night's sleep. Students also need reminding that when taking a test, they should thoroughly and carefully read the directions before they haphazardly start to mark their test papers. They should be advised to skip over questions for which they don't know the answers. They can always return to those if there's time. Good advice for any student before taking a test: take a deep breath, relax, and dive in. Always bring an extra pencil just in case.

During a homework session, watch for signs of frustration. No learning can take place and little can be accomplished if the child is angry or upset over an assignment that is too long or too difficult. At such times the parent may have to step in and simply halt the homework for that night, offering to write a note to the teacher explaining the situation and perhaps requesting a conference to discuss the quality and length of homework assignments.

Should parents help with homework? Yes-if it is clearly productive to do so, such as calling out spelling words or checking a math problem that won't prove. No-if it is something the child can clearly handle himself and learn from the process. And help and support should always be calmly and cheerfully given. Grudging help is worse than no help at all!

How best to handle report cards? To save shocks and upsets, gently discuss from time to time "how things are going at school- with your child. Something casual, such as "How did the math test go?" "How did you do on the history report?" "How's your science project coming along? Need any help?" are questions that aren't "third degree" but indicate interest. Find out if it is a policy at your child's school to send out "warning notices" when work isn't going well. Generally, such notices require the parent's signature to verify that the parent has, indeed, been alerted. This is the time to contact the teacher of the course, along with your child, to learn what the difficulty may be. If such notices aren't sent, then grades on projects and reports and from tests may be the sole source of information short of what your child wishes to share. Be tuned in to statements such as "He's an awful teacher," "She goes too fast," etc. This may be the child's way of indicating frustration in understanding content or lack of study time with the subject. However, be cautious in contacting teachers without your child's approval or interest. It may disrupt good feelings between you and make you seem to be interfering and spying.

Listening to motivational tapes can help children improve their attitude about school and homework. We have found Effective Studying and Test Taking to be very helpful another excellent tape for children and teenagers is Learning Power. Listening to tapes can also train the brain to study more effectively. For older children and teens as well as college students and adults we suggest Concentration and Hypnosis for Improved Learning.

If you are working with a child who has ADHD or ADHD symptoms we suggest the Focusprogram.

Finally, we have found that children who are having difficulty with homework and studying may be poor readers. If your child is struggling with reading problems, there is an effective and easy solution, The Phonics Game.



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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). Tips for Helping Kids and Teens with Homework and Study Habits, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/tips-for-helping-kids-and-teens-with-homework-and-study-habits

Last Updated: February 13, 2016

Figuring Out Food Labels

You know how books have a table of contents that explains what's inside? Or maybe you've received a toy that came with a diagram that identified each small piece. Nutrition labels are sort of like that. They tell you what's inside the food you're eating and list its smaller parts.

Food labelThe Nutrition Facts food label gives you information about which nutrients (say: nu-tree-ents) are in the food. Your body needs the right combination of nutrients, such as vitamins, to work properly and grow. The Nutrition Facts food label is printed somewhere on the outside of packaged food, and you usually don't have to look hard to find it. Fresh food that doesn't come prepackaged sometimes has nutrition facts, too.

Most nutrients are measured in grams, also written as g. Some nutrients are measured in milligrams, or mg. Milligrams are very tiny - there are one thousand milligrams in a gram. Other information on the label is given in percentages. These numbers are based on eating 2,000 calories in a day, the amount that many school-age kids eat . A calorie is a unit of energy, a way of expressing how much energy you would get by eating a certain food.

If you want to learn more about the different types of information on food labels, keep reading. We'll start at the top of the label and work our way down.

Serving Size The nutrition label always lists a serving size, which is an amount of food, such as 1 cup of cereal, two cookies, or five pretzels. The nutrition label tells you how many nutrients are in that amount of food. Serving sizes also help people understand how much they're eating. If you ate 10 pretzels, that would be two servings.

Servings per Container or Package The label also tells you how many servings are contained in that package of food. If there are 15 servings in a box of cookies and each serving is 2 cookies, then you have enough for all 30 kids in your class to have one cookie each. Math comes in handy with food labels!

Calories and Calories From Fat The number of calories in a single serving of the food is listed on the left of the label. This number tells you the amount of energy in the food. People pay attention to calories because if you eat more calories than your body uses, you might gain weight.

Another important part of the label is the number of calories that come from fat. People check this because it's good to limit fat intake. The calories in a food can come from fat, protein, or carbohydrate.

Percent Daily Value You'll see percentages on food labels that are based on recommended daily allowances - meaning the amount of something a person should get each day. For instance, there's a recommended daily allowance for fat, so the food label might say that one serving of this food meets 10% of the daily value. The daily values are based on an adult's needs, not a kids' needs. These are often similar, but kids need may need more or less of certain nutrients, depending on their age and size.

Some percent daily values are based on the amount of calories and energy a person needs. These include carbohydrates, proteins, and fat. Other percent daily values - like those for sodium, potassium, vitamins, and minerals - stay the same no matter how many calories a person eats.

Total Fat The total fat is the number of fat grams contained in one serving of the food. Fat is an important nutrient that your body uses for growth and development, but you don't want to eat too much. The different kinds of fat, such as saturated, unsaturated, and trans fat, may be listed separately on the label.

Cholesterol and Sodium These numbers tell you how much cholesterol and sodium (salt) are in a single serving of the food. They are included on the label because some people need to limit cholesterol or salt in their diets. Cholesterol and sodium are usually measured in milligrams.

Total Carbohydrate This number tells you how many carbohydrate grams are in one serving of food. Carbohydrates are your body's primary source of energy. This total is broken down into grams of sugar and grams of dietary fiber.

Protein This number tells you how much protein you get from a single serving of the food. Your body needs protein to build and repair essential parts of the body, such as muscles, blood, and organs. Protein is often measured in grams.

Vitamin A and Vitamin C These list the amounts of vitamin A and vitamin C, two especially important vitamins, in a serving of the food. Each amount is given as a percent daily value. If a food provides 20% of the RDA for vitamin A, that one serving of food gives an adult one fifth of the vitamin A needed for the day.

Calcium and Iron These list the percentages of calcium and iron, two especially important minerals, that are in a serving of the food. Again, each amount is given as a percent daily value. If a food has 4% of iron, you're getting 4% of the iron you need for the whole day from that serving.

Calories per Gram These numbers show how many calories are in one gram of fat, carbohydrate, and protein. This information is the same for every food and is printed on the food label for reference.

Now that you know a little more about food labels, you can read up on what you're eating!

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APA Reference
Gluck, S. (2008, December 25). Figuring Out Food Labels, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/eating-disorders/articles/figuring-out-food-labels

Last Updated: January 14, 2014

About Dyslexia and Reading Problems

Developmental dyslexia is a condition related to poor reading. Children with dyslexia have difficulty learning to read due to one or more information processing problems such as visual perceptual or auditory perceptual deficits. Many but not all children with dyslexia have difficulty with reversals of numbers, letters or words. New research points the way to specific methods of instruction that can help anyone learn to read well no matter what the underlying problem may be. Following the links will provide interesting new information as well as extremely effective solutions for all types of reading problems including developmental dyslexia.

What is Dyslexia?

Children who have an average or above IQ and are reading 1 1/2 grades or more below grade level may be dyslexic. True dyslexia affects about 3 to 6 percent of the population yet in some parts of the country up to 50% of the students are not reading at grade level. This means that the reason for most children not reading at grade level is ineffective reading instruction. The dyslexic child often suffers from having a specific learning disability as well as being exposed to ineffective instruction.

Children may have dyslexia or a learning disability if they have one or more of the following symptoms:

  • Letter or word reversals when reading. (Such as was/saw, b/d, p/q).
  • Letter or word reversals when writing.
  • Difficulty repeating what is said to them.
  • Poor handwriting or printing ability.
  • Poor drawing ability.
  • Reversing letters or words when spelling words that are presented orally.
  • Difficulty comprehending written or spoken directions.
  • Difficulty with right - left directionality.
  • Difficulty understanding or remembering what is said to them.
  • Difficulty understanding or remembering what they have just read.
  • Difficulty putting their thoughts on paper.

Children with dyslexia do not exhibit these symptoms due to poor vision or hearing but because of brain dysfunction. The eyes and ears are working properly but the lower centers of the brain scramble the images or sounds before they reach the higher (more intelligent) centers of the brain. This causes confusion as well as frustration for the learner.

When a child is having difficulty learning, a comprehensive neurodevelopmental exam is important. This includes testing of hearing, vision, neurological development, coordination, visual perception, auditory perception, intelligence, and academic achievement.

Often, perception problems can be helped with simple exercises which either help to improve a specific problem or teach techniques to compensate for a problem. These often can be done at home. In a few cases, a referral to an educational or speech therapist may be helpful.

What Causes Dyslexia and Reading Problems?

The main reasons for reading problems are:

  1. Ineffective reading instruction
  2. Auditory perception difficulties
  3. Visual perception difficulties
  4. Language processing difficulties

Over 180 research studies to date have proven that phonics is the BEST WAY to teach reading to all students. They also have shown that phonics is the ONLY WAY to teach reading to students with dyslexia and other learning disabilities.

Unfortunately, 80% of our nations schools do not use an intensified phonics approach for reading instruction. They either use the whole word (see & say) approach or a cursory use of phonics along with the whole word method.

While most people can learn to read using the whole word approach, it is not the best way to learn. It teaches through memorization of word pictures and guessing. Unlike Chinese or Japanese which are picture languages, the English language is a phonetic language. With the exception of the United States which dropped phonics in the 1930's, all other countries that have a phonetic language, teach reading through phonics.




There are only 44 sounds while there are about 1 million words in English. These facts readily explain why having to memorize 44 sounds as opposed to memorizing hundreds of thousands of words is the most efficient way to learn to read.

Reading and writing is simply "talking on paper." Children learn to talk by imitating sounds and then combining the sounds to form words. The brain is programmed to learn language in this fashion. Therefore, the most efficient way to learn to read is through phonics because it teaches children to read the same way they learned to talk.

Children and adults who do not learn to read through an intensive phonics program often have one or more of the following symptoms :

  • Below grade level reading achievement
  • Slow reading
  • Poor comprehension
  • Fatigue after reading only for a short while
  • Poor spelling skills
  • Lack of enjoyment from reading

Some children have auditory discrimination problems. This may have been the result of having chronic ear infections when they were young. Others may be born with this learning disability. Correction involves educational exercises to train the brain in discrimination and to over teach the formation of the sounds used in speaking and reading.

Another group of children have visual perception problems. They may actually reverse letters or words. They have difficulty matching the word image on the page with a previously stored image in their brain. Exercises that train the brain to "see" more accurately may help but instruction with phonics is the best approach to overcome this problem.

Language development problems can contribute to poor reading and listening comprehension along with difficulty in verbal and written expression. Learning appropriate word attack skills through phonics along with special help in receptive and/or expressive language skills improves this type of learning disability.

How To Quickly Bring Reading Level Up To Or Above Grade Level

The Phonics Game provides the intensified phonics approach to reading that is best for all children and adults. The game format makes learning fun while stimulating full brain activation during the learning activities. The logical sequence of neurolinguistic instructional components leads to rapid learning. Most children are reading confidently after only 18 hours of instruction.

The pregame phase of the program uses the same procedures used by speech therapists to teach the formation and discrimination of the 44 phonics sounds. Once the sounds are mastered, the card games teach all one needs to be able to be reading easily, efficiently and with enjoyment.

The visual matching process used in playing the card games, trains the brain to "see" the individual sounds correctly. This provides an excellent technique for compensating for visual reversals.

An additional tape for teaching spelling skills along with the additional Comprehension Game benefit all children but are especially helpful for children with language problems.

The game format is excellent for children and teens with attention deficit disorder (ADD). These individuals may have difficulty learning to read due to problems with attention and concentration or may have ADD along with dyslexia or other learning disabilities. The game format moves quickly to keep their attention. They are also motivated by positive reward which is provided by The Phonics Game by the competition and the desire to win.

"I have been recommending the Phonics Game to children, teens and adults who have been diagnosed with dyslexia for over 10 years. All of those who I retested after using this program were reading at or above grade level." - Robert Myers, Ph.D. (Clinical Psychologist)

Helping Children With Reversals

It is not unusual for children to reverse letters and words when they read or write up to the age of 6 or 7. This is due to immaturity in brain development. Children who have problems with reversals usually also have problems with left-right directionality. Below are some exercises that have been found to help improve directionality and reduce reversals.

Symptoms:

  1. Spatial confusion - unable to differentiate left-right, on self, other, or paper.
  2. Confuses letter pairs as b-d, m-w, p-q. Confuses words such as was-saw, on-no.



Remediation:

  1. Simplify tasks so only one new discrimination is made at a time.
  2. Make each simple discrimination automatic before the next one is introduced. Over teach 'b", then over teach 'd", before presenting both together.
  3. Each discrimination that causes repeated errors should be worked with by itself until the problem is overcome.
  4. Trace, then write, the confused letter or word and pronounce it as written.
  5. Use short frequent practice periods. Lengthen the time between practice sessions as the material is retained.
  6. If the child is confused about his own left/right, use a ring, watch, ribbon or band on his writing arm. Color cue side of desk or paper or word as a starting place.
  7. Gradually increase the difficulty of material to discriminate. If errors are made, go back to simpler practice.

Suggestions for Improving Laterality:

  1. Trace hands on paper. Label "right," "left."
  2. Play "Simon Says" - "Touch right foot; raise left hand," etc.
  3. Child follows the directions in drawing lines up, down, right to left, etc. and in touching parts of body.
  4. Child connects dots on blackboard to make a completed pattern; repeats process on paper.
  5. Child shows hands in sequence pattern: left, right, left, right, etc. Use marching as a variation.
  6. Child names objects on right and on left. He moves to different parts of the room and repeats.
  7. Arrange story pictures in sequence, left to right.
  8. Use lined paper for writing.
  9. Use weighted wristband to designate right or left hand.
  10. Tracing activities, left to right. Mark left with small "x." Use color tracing to repeat.
  11. When beginning writing the lessons, teach the child to begin as close to left edge of sheet as possible (then can move only toward the right).
  12. In reading, use markers, "windows," and other left-to-right directional aids.


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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). About Dyslexia and Reading Problems, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/about-dyslexia-and-reading-problems

Last Updated: February 13, 2016

Social Problems Often Associated with Attention Deficit Disorder

Some children with Attention Deficit Disorder experience significant problems socializing with peers and cooperating with authority figures.Some children with Attention Deficit Disorder experience significant problems socializing with peers and cooperating with authority figures. This is because when children have difficulty maintaining attention during an interaction with an adult, they may miss important parts of the conversation. This can result in the child not being able to follow directions and so called "memory problems" due to not listening in the first place. In this case, the child is not being disobedient or "strong willed" though they may be labeled as such. When giving directions to Attention Deficit Disorder children it is important to have them repeat the directions to make sure they have correctly received them. For younger children with Attention Deficit Disorder, the directions should consist of only one or two step instructions. For older children more complicated directions should be stated in writing. For more help with discipline check out the Parenting Skills section of the ADD Focus Store.

Children with poor attention and concentration often miss important aspects of social interaction with their peers. When this happens, they have a difficulty time "fitting in." They need to focus in on how other the children are playing with each other and then attempt to behave similarly. Attention Deficit Disorder kids often enter a group play situation like the proverbial "bull in the china closet" and upset the play session. As they improve their ability to attend and concentrate, Attention Deficit Disorder children can be coached on how to play appropriately with other children.

Attention Deficit Disorder children may have poor impulse control. This can result in several different problems during play time. First, they may have difficulty stopping a behavior once they have started. They may also carry the behavior to a level of intensity that is too much for the average child. This can even happen when the child is engaged in "horse play" with an adult. They often get "carried away" and don't know when to stop. This can result in negative feelings among those playing and make the others involved not want to play with the Attention Deficit Disorder child.

Sometimes an Attention Deficit Disorder kid will complain that when he gets into trouble at school that "all the other kids were doing the same thing and I was the only one that got in trouble." When you understand how an Attention Deficit Disorder child functions, it's possible to see how that may actually be close to the truth. Imagine that the teacher has left the room for a few moments. The class decides to take advantage of the situation and "mess around." When the teacher returns, the class sees her and they immediately stop what they are doing. On the other hand the Attention Deficit Disorder child may not immediately see the teacher enter the room and when he does is not able to immediately stop the inappropriate behavior. The teacher then reprimands him for not stopping. The Attention Deficit Disorder child feels singled out and picked on by the teacher and feels he is being treated unfairly.



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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). Social Problems Often Associated with Attention Deficit Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/social-problems-often-associated-with-attention-deficit-disorder

Last Updated: February 13, 2016

My Genes Made Me Do It

Psychology Today, July/August 1995, pp. 50-53; 62-68. Tables B and C and Sidebar A were not included in the published version of the article.

Morristown, NJ

Richard DeGrandpre
Department of Psychology
Saint Michael's College
Colchester, Vermont

Introduction

Americans are increasingly likely to attribute their own - and others' - behavior to innate biological causes. At best that may relieve guilt about behavior we want to change but can't. The quest for genetic explanations of why we do what we do more accurately reflects the desire for hard certainties about frightening societal problems than the true complexities of human affairs. Meanwhile, the revolution in thinking about genes has huge consequences for how we view ourselves.

Article

addiction-articles-129-healthyplaceJust about every week now, we read new headlines about the genetic basis for breast cancer, homosexuality, intelligence, or obesity. In previous years, these stories were about the genes for alcoholism, schizophrenia, and manic depression. Such news stories may lead us to believe our lives are being revolutionized by genetic discoveries. We may be on the verge of reversing and eliminating mental illness, for example. In addition, many believe, we can identify the causes of criminality, personality, and other basic human foibles and traits.

But these hopes, it turns out, are based on faulty assumptions about genes and behavior. Although genetic research wears the mantle of science, most of the headlines are more hype than reality. Many discoveries loudly touted to the public have been quietly refuted by further research. Other scientifically valid discoveries - like the gene for breast cancer - have nonetheless fallen short of initial claims.

Popular reactions to genetic claims can be greatly influenced by what is currently politically correct. Consider the hubbub over headlines about a genetic cause for homosexuality and by the book The Bell Curve, which suggested a substantial genetic basis for intelligence. Many thought that the discovery of a "gay gene" proved that homosexuality is not a personal choice and should therefore not lead to social disapproval. The Bell Curve, on the other hand, was attacked for suggesting that differences in IQ measured among the races are inherited.

The public is hard pressed to evaluate which traits are genetically inspired based on the validity of scientific research. In many cases, people are motivated to accept research claims by the hope of finding solutions for frightening problems, like breast cancer, that our society has failed to solve. At a personal level, people wonder about how much actual choice they have in their lives. Accepting genetic causes for their traits can relieve guilt about behavior they want to change, but can't.

These psychological forces influence how we view mental illnesses like schizophrenia and depression, social problems like criminality, and personal maladies like obesity and bulimia. All have grown unabated in recent decades. Efforts made to combat them, at growing expense, have made little or no visible progress. The public wants to hear that science can help, while scientists want to prove that they have remedies for problems that eat away at our individual and social well-being.

Meanwhile, genetic claims are being made for a host of ordinary and abnormal behaviors, from addiction to shyness and even to political views and divorce. If who we are is determined from conception, then our efforts to change or to influence our children may be futile. There may also be no basis for insisting that people behave themselves and conform to laws. Thus, the revolution in thinking about genes has monumental consequences for how we view ourselves as human beings.

The Human Genome Project

Today scientists are mapping the entire genome - the DNA contained in the 23 pairs of human chromosomes. This enterprise is monumental. The chromosomes of each person contain 3 billion permutations of four chemical bases arrayed in two interlocking strands. This DNA may be divided into between 50,000 and 100,000 genes. But the same DNA can function in more than one gene, making the concept of individual genes something of a convenient fiction. The mystery of how these genes, and the chemistry underlying them, cause specific traits and diseases is a convoluted one.

The Human Genome Project has, and will continue to, advance our understanding of genes and suggest preventive and therapeutic strategies for many diseases. Some diseases, like Huntington's, have been linked to a single gene. But the search for single genes for complex human traits, like sexual orientation or antisocial behavior, or mental disorders like schizophrenia or depression, is seriously misguided.

Most claims linking emotional disorders and behaviors to genes are statistical in nature. For example, differences in the correlations in traits between identical twins (who inherit identical genes) and fraternal twins (who have half their genes in common) are examined with the goal of separating the role of environment from that of genes. But this goal is elusive. Research finds that identical twins are treated more alike than fraternal twins. These calculations are therefore insufficient for deciding that alcoholism or manic-depression is inherited, let alone television viewing, conservatism, and other basic, everyday traits for which such claims have been made.


The Myth of a Gene for Mental Illness

In the late 1980s, genes for schizophrenia and manic-depression were identified with great fanfare by teams of geneticists. Both claims have now been definitively disproven. Yet, while the original announcements were heralded on TV news programs and front pages of newspapers around the country, most people are unaware of the refutations.

In 1987, the prestigious British journal Nature published an article linking manic-depression to a specific gene. This conclusion came from family linkage studies, which search for gene variants in suspect sections on the chromosomes of families with a high incidence of a disease. Usually, an active area of DNA (called a genetic marker) is observed to coincide with the disease. If the same marker appears only in diseased family members, evidence of a genetic link has been established. Even so, this does not guarantee that a gene can be identified with the marker.

One genetic marker of manic-depression was identified in a single extended Amish family. But this marker was not apparent in other families who displayed the disorder. Then, further evaluations placed several members of the Amish family without the marker in the manic-depressive category. Another marker detected in several Israeli families was subjected to more detailed genetic analysis, and a number of subjects were switched between the marked and unmarked categories. Ultimately, those with and without the marker had similar rates of the disorder.

Other candidates for a manic-depression gene will be put forward. But most researchers no longer believe a single gene is implicated, even within specific families. In fact, genetic research on manic-depression and schizophrenia has rekindled the recognition of the role of environment in emotional disorders. If distinct genetic patterns can't be tied to the disorders, then personal experiences are most likely crucial in their emergence.

Epidemiologic data on the major mental illnesses make it clear that they can't be reduced to purely genetic causes. For example, according to psychiatric epidemiologist Myrna Weissman, Americans born before 1905 had a 1 percent rate of depression by age 75. Among Americans born a half-century later, 6 percent become depressed by age 24! Similarly, while the average age at which manic-depression first appears was 32 in the mid 1960s, its average onset today is 19. Only social factors can produce such large shifts in the incidence and age of onset of mental disorders in a few decades.

Genes and Behavior

Understanding the role of our genetic inheritance requires that we know how genes express themselves. One popular conception is of genes as templates stamping out each human trait whole cloth. In fact, genes operate by instructing the developing organism to produce sequences of biochemical compounds.

In some cases, a single, dominant gene does largely determine a given trait. Eye color and Huntington's disease are classic examples of such Mendelian traits (named after the Austrian monk, Gregor Mendel, who studied peas). But the problem for behavioral genetics is that complex human attitudes and behavior - and even most diseases - are not determined by single genes.

Moreover, even at the cellular level, environment affects the activity of genes. Most active genetic material does not code for any kind of trait. Instead it regulates the speed and direction of the expression of other genes; i.e., it modulates the unfolding of the genome. Such regulatory DNA reacts to conditions inside and outside the womb, stimulating different rates of biochemical activity and cellular growth. Rather than forming a rigid template for each of us, genes themselves form part of a lifelong give-and-take process with the environment.

The inextricable interplay between genes and environment is evident in disorders like alcoholism, anorexia, or overeating that are characterized by abnormal behaviors. Scientists spiritedly debate whether such syndromes are more or less biologically driven. If they are mainly biological - rather than psychological, social, and cultural - then there may be a genetic basis for them.

Table A. Categories of Traits in Relation to Genes
Physical TraitsIllnessesBehaviors

Non-pathological physical traits that are purely genetic (eye color)

Non-pathological traits with some environmental influence (height)

Abnormal physical traits caused by combinations of genetic disposition and behavior (obesity)

Physical illnesses with no known environmental influence (Huntington's)

Physical illnesses with environmental/behavioral influences (breast cancer, heart disease)

Mental illnesses involving genetic-environmental interaction (schizophrenia, manic depression)

Abnormal behavioral syndromes in which genetic predisposition may affect behavior (bulimia, overeating, alcoholism)

Personal traits which involve genetic-environmental interactions (shyness, aggressiveness, intelligence)

Personal traits in which biological correlates are remote (television watching, ring wearing)

Personal dispositions with no identified biological correlates (conservatism, religiosity)

Therefore, there was considerable interest in the announcement of the discovery of an "alcoholism gene" in 1990. Kenneth Blum, of the University of Texas, and Ernest Noble, of the University of California, found an allele of the dopamine receptor gene in 70 percent of a group of alcoholics but in only 20 percent of a non-alcoholic group. (An allele is one variation at a gene site.)


The Blum-Noble discovery was broadcast around the country after being published in the Journal of the American Medical Association and touted by the AMA on its satellite news service. But, in a 1993 JAMA article, Joel Gelernter of Yale and his colleagues surveyed all the studies that examined this allele and alcoholism. Discounting Blum and Noble's research, the combined results were that 18 percent of nonalcoholics, 18 percent of problem drinkers, and 18 percent of severe alcoholics all had the allele. There was simply no link between this gene and alcoholism!

Blum and Noble have developed a test for the alcoholism gene. But, since their own data indicate that the majority of people who have the target allele are not alcoholics, it would be foolhardy to tell those who test positive that they have an "alcoholism gene."

The dubious state of Blum and Noble's work does not disprove that a gene - or set of genes - could trigger alcoholism. But scientists already know that people do not inherit loss-of-control drinking whole cloth. Consider that alcoholics do not drink uncontrollably when they are unaware that they are drinking alcohol - if it is disguised in a flavored drink, for example.

A more plausible model is that genes affect how people experience alcohol. Perhaps drinking is more rewarding for alcoholics. Perhaps some people's neurotransmitters are more activated by alcohol. But although genes can influence reactions to alcohol, they cannot explain why some people continue drinking to the point of destroying their lives. Most people find orgasms rewarding, but hardly any engage in sex uncontrollably. Rather, they balance their sexual urges against other forces in their lives.

Jerome Kagan, a Harvard developmental psychologist, was speaking about more than genes when he noted, "we also inherit the human capacity for restraint."

Of (Fat) Mice and Humans

Public interest was aroused by the 1995 announcement by Rockefeller University geneticist Jeffrey Friedman of a genetic mutation in obese mice. The researchers believe this gene influences development of a hormone that tells the organism how fat or full it is. Those with the mutation may not sense when they have achieved satiety or if they have sufficient fatty tissue, and thus can't tell when to stop eating.

The researchers also reported finding a gene nearly identical to the mouse obesity gene in humans. The operation of this gene in humans has not yet been demonstrated, however. Still, professionals like University of Vermont psychologist Esther Rothblum reacted enthusiastically: "This research indicates that people really are born with a tendency to have a certain weight just as they are to have a particular skin color or height."

Actually, behavior geneticists believe that less than half of total weight variation is programmed in the genes, while height is almost entirely genetically determined. [Table B] Whatever role genes play, America is getting fatter. A survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that obesity has increased significantly over the last 10 years. Such rapid change underlines the role of environmental factors, like the abundance of rich foods, in America's overeating. Complimenting this finding, the Centers have found that teens are far less physically active than they were even a decade ago.

Certainly people metabolize food differently and some people gain weight more easily than others. Nonetheless, anyone placed in a food-rich environment that encourages inactivity will gain weight, whatever fat genes the person may have. At the same time, in nearly all environments, highly motivated people can maintain lower weight levels. We thus see that social pressure, self-control, specific situations - even seasonal variations - combine with physical make-up to determine weight.

Accepting that weight is predetermined can relieve guilt for overweight people. But people's belief that they cannot control their weight can itself contribute to obesity. No test will ever be performed that can tell you how much you must weigh. Personal choices will always influence the equation. And anything that inspires positive efforts at weight control can help people lose weight, or avoid gaining more.

The case of obesity - along with schizophrenia, depression, and alcoholism - raises a striking paradox. At the same time that we now view them as diseases that should be treated medically, their prevalence is growing precipitously. The very reliance on drugs and other medical treatments has created a cultural milieu that seeks external solutions for these problems. Relying on external solutions may itself be exacerbating matters; it may be teaching us a helplessness that is at the root of many of our problems. Instead of reducing our problems, this seems to have fueled their growth.

Harnessing Discoveries

In 1993, the gene that determines the occurrence of Huntington's disease - an irreversible degeneration of the nervous system - was discovered. In 1994, a gene was identified that leads to some cases of breast cancer. Utilizing these discoveries, however, is proving more difficult than anticipated.

Finding a gene for breast cancer was cause for elation. But of all the women with breast cancer, only a tenth have family histories of the disease. Furthermore, only half of this group has a mutation in the gene. Scientists also hoped that breast cancer victims without family histories would show irregularities at this same site on the DNA. But only a small minority do.

The section of the DNA involved in inherited breast cancers is enormously large and complex. There are probably several hundred forms of the gene. The task of determining which variations in the DNA cause cancer, let alone developing therapies to combat the disease, is tremendous. Right now, women who learn that they have the gene defect know they have a high (85 percent) likelihood of developing the disease. But the only decisive response available to them is to have their breasts removed before the disease appears. And even this does not eliminate the possibility of chest cancer.


The failure to translate genetic discoveries into treatments has also been true for Huntington's disease. Scientists have been unable to detect how the flawed gene switches on dementia and palsy. These difficulties with a disease created by an individual gene show the monumental complexity involved in unraveling how genes determine complex human traits.

When a distinct gene is not involved, linking genes to traits may well be an absurdity. Any possible link between genes and traits is exponentially more complex with elaborate behavior patterns like overdrinking, personality characteristics like shyness or aggressiveness, or social attitudes such as political conservatism and religiousness. Many genes might be involved in all such traits. More importantly, it is impossible to separate the contributions environment and DNA make to attitudes and behaviors.

Behavior Genetics: Methods and Madness

The research discussed so far searches for genes implicated in specific problems. But research relating behavior and genetics rarely involves actual examination of the genome. Instead, psychologists, psychiatrists and other non-geneticists calculate a heritability statistic by comparing the similarities in behaviors among different sets of relatives. This statistic expresses the old nature-nurture division by presenting the percentage of a trait due to genetic inheritance versus the percentage due to environmental causes.

Such research purports to show a substantial genetic component to alcoholism. For example, some studies have compared the incidence of alcoholism in adopted children with that of their adoptive parents and with their natural parents. When the similarities are greater between the offspring and absent biologic parents, the trait is thought to be highly heritable.

But children are often adopted by relatives or people from the same social background as the parents. The very social factors related to placement of a child - particularly ehtnicity and social class - are also related to drinking problems, for example, thus confusing efforts to separate nature and nurture. A team led by University of California sociologist Kaye Fillmore incorporated social data on adoptive families in the reanalysis of two studies claiming a large genetic inheritance for alcoholism. Fillmore found that the educational and economic level of the receiving families had the greater influence, statistically erasing the genetic contribution from the biological parents.

Another behavioral genetic methodology compares the prevalence of a trait in monozygotic (identical) twins and dizygotic (fraternal) twins. On average, fraternal twins have only half their genes in common. If the identical twins are more alike, it is believed that genetic inheritance is more important, because the two types of twins are supposedly brought up in identical environments. (To eliminate the confounding influence of gender differences, only same sex fraternal twins are compared).

But if people treat identical twins more similarly than they do fraternal twins, the assumptions of the heritability index dissolve. Much research shows that physical appearance affects how parents, peers, and others react to a child. Thus, identical twins - who more closely resemble one another - will experience a more similar environment than fraternal twins. University of Virginia psychologist Sandra Scarr has shown that fraternal twins who resemble one another enough to be mistaken for identical twins have more similar personalities than other such twins.

Heritability figures depend upon a number of factors, such as the specific population studied. For example, there will be less variation in weight in a food-deprived environment. Studying the inheritance of weight in this rather than an abundant-food environment can greatly influence the heritability calculation.

Heritability figures in fact vary widely from study to study. Matthew McGue and his colleagues at the University of Minnesota calculated a 0 heritability of alcoholism in women, while at the same time a team led by Kenneth Kendler at Virginia Medical College calculated a 60 percent heritability with a different group of female twins! One problem is that the number of female alcoholic twins is small, which is true of most abnormal conditions we study. As a result, the high heritability figure Kendler et al. found would be reduced to nothing with a shift in the diagnoses of as few as four twins in their study.

Shifting definitions also contribute to variations in the heritability measured for alcoholism. Alcoholism may be defined as any drinking problems, or only physiological problems such as DTs, or various combinations of criteria. These variations in methodology explain why heritability figures for alcoholism in different studies vary from 0 to almost 100 percent!

The Inheritance of Homosexuality

In the debate over the genetics of homosexuality, the data supporting a genetic basis are similarly weak. One study by Michael Bailey, a Northwestern University psychologist, and Richard Pillard, a psychiatrist at Boston University, found that about half of the identical twins (52 percent) of homosexual brothers were homosexual themselves compared with about a quarter (22 percent) of fraternal twins of homosexuals. But this study recruited subjects through ads in gay publications. This introduces a bias towards the selection of overtly gay respondents, a minority of all homosexuals.

Moreover, other results of the study do not support a genetic basis for homosexuality. Adopted brothers (11 percent) had as high a "concordance rate" for homosexuality as ordinary brothers (9 percent). The data also showed that fraternal twins were more than twice as likely as ordinary brothers to share homosexuality, al-though both sets of siblings have the same genetic relationship. These results suggest the critical role of environmental factors.

One study that focussed on an actual homosexual gene was conducted by Dean Hamer, a molecular biologist at the National Cancer Institute. Hamer found a possible genetic marker on the X chromosome in 33 of 40 brothers who were both gay (the number expected by chance was 20). Earlier Simon LeVay, a neurologist at the Salk Institute, noted an area of the hypothalamus that was smaller among gay than heterosexual men.

Although both these findings were front-page stories, they provide quite a slender basis for the genetics of homosexuality. Hamer did not check for the frequency of the supposed marker in heterosexual brothers, where it could conceivably be as prevalent as in gay siblings. Hamer has noted that he doesn't know how the marker he found could cause homosexuality, and LeVay likewise concedes he hasn't found a brain center for homosexuality.


But for many, the politics of a homosexual gene outweigh the science. A genetic explanation for homosexuality answers bigots who claim homosexuality is a choice which should be rejected. But to accept that nongenetic factors contribute to homosexuality does not indicate prejudice against gays. David Barr, of the Gay Men's Health Crisis, puts the issue this way: "It doesn't really matter why people are gay.... What's really important is how they're treated."

The Inheritance of Everyday Psychological Traits

By assigning a simple percentage to something very complex and poorly understood, behavior geneticists turn heritability into a clear-cut measurement. Behavior geneticists have employed these same statistical techniques with ordinary behaviors and attitudes. The resulting list of traits for which heritability has been calculated extends from such well known areas as intelligence, depression, and shyness to such surprising ones as television viewing, divorce, and attitudes like racial prejudice and political conservatism.

Table B. Heritability Calculations
TraitPopulationHeritability

Cognitive Performance
creativity
educational achievement
IQ


memory
reading disabilities
stuttering


adolescents
general
general
preadolescents
adults
elderly
children
general


.25
.40-.70
.20-.80
.50
.80
.55
.30-.50
.70

Personality
extraversion
- activity
- emotionality
- sociability
introversion/shyness
neuroticism


adults



3-4 year olds
adults


.30-.50
.25
.40
.25
.20
.30-.50

Psychopathology
alcoholism

anxiety disorder
autism
bipolar disorder
bulimia nervosa
criminality/delinquency
depression
panic

phobias
psychosis

schizophrenia
sleep
- patterns
- quality/disturbance


men
women
women
general
general
women
adolescents
general
men
women
women
men
women
general

general
general


.30-.98
.00-.60
.30
.90-.95
.60-.80
.50
.30-.70
.40-.55
.55
.40
.30-.40
.50
.35
.40-.90

.40
.35

Lifestyle
divorce/marital success
homosexuality
television viewing


general
general
3-5 year olds


.55
.30-.70
.10-.45

Attitudes
death penalty
jazz
white superiority
censorship
racial prejudice

religious beliefs
religious conservatism


general
general
general
general
men
women
general
men
women


.51
.45
.40
.41
.10
.50
.00
.15
.40

Physical Characteristics
height
weight


women
women


.92
.42

 


Such heritability figures may seem quite remarkable, even incredible. Behavior geneticists report that half of the basis of divorce, bulimia and attitudes about punishing criminals is biologically inherited, comparable to or higher than the figures calculated for depression, obesity, and anxiety. Almost any trait seemingly yields a minimum heritability figure around 30 percent. The heritability index acts like a scale that reads 30 pounds when empty and adds 30 pounds to everything placed on it!

Believing that basic traits are largely predetermined at birth could have tremendous implications for our self-conceptions and public policies. Not long ago, an announcement for a government conference, for example, suggested that violence could be prevented by treating with drugs children with certain genetic profiles. Or, parents of children with an alcoholic heritage may tell the children never to drink because they're destined to be alcoholics. But such children, in expecting to become violent or drink excessively, may enact a self-fulfilling prophecy. Indeed, this is known to be the case. People who believe they are alcoholic drink more when told a beverage contains alcohol - even if it doesn't.

Believing the heritability figures developed by behavioral geneticists leads to an important conclusion: Most people must then be overestimating how much daily impact they have on important areas of children's development. Why ask Junior to turn off the TV set if television viewing is inherited, as some claim? What, exactly, can parents accomplish if traits such as prejudice are largely inherited? It would not seem to matter what values we attempt to convey to our children. Likewise, if violence is mostly inbred, then it doesn't make much sense to try to teach our kids to behave properly.

View from the Genome

The vision of humanity generated by statistical research on behavior genetics seems to enhance the passivity and fatalism many people are already saddled with. Yet evidence gathered by psychologist Martin Seligman and others indicates that "learned helplessness" - or believing one cannot influence one's destiny - is a major factor in depression. The opposite state of mind occurs when people believe they control what happens to them. Called self-efficacy, it is a major contributor to psychological well-being and successful functioning.

Is there a connection between the increase in depression and other emotional disorders in 20th-century America and our outlook as a society? If so, then the growing belief that our behavior is not ours to determine could have extremely negative consequences. As well as attacking our own sense of personal self-determination, it may make us less able to disapprove of the misbehavior of others. After all, if people are born to be alcoholic or violent, how can they be punished when they translate these dispositions into action?

Jerome Kagan, whose studies provide a close-up of the interaction of nature and nurture and how it plays out in real life, worries that Americans are too quick to accept that behavior is predetermined. He has studied the temperaments of infants and children and found distinctive differences at birth - and even before. Some babies are outgoing, seemingly at home in the world. And some recoil from the environment; their nervous systems are overly excitable in response to stimulation. Do such findings mean children born with a highly reactive nervous system will grow into withdrawn adults? Will extremely fearless children grow into violent criminals?

In fact, less than half of reactive infants (those who more frequently fret and cry) are fearful children at the age of two. It all depends on the actions parents take in response to their infant.

Kagan fears people will read too much into children's supposedly biological dispositions, and make unwarranted predictions about how they will develop: "It would be unethical to tell parents that their 3-year-old son is at serious risk for delinquent behavior." People who are more fearful or fearless than average have choices about the paths their lives will take like everyone else.

Nature, Nurture: Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

How much freedom each person has to develop returns us to the issue of whether nature and nurture can be separated. Thinking of traits as being either genetically or environmentally caused cripples our understanding of human development. As Kagan's puts it, "To ask what proportion of personality is genetic rather than environmental is like asking what proportion of a blizzard is due to cold temperature rather than humidity."

A more accurate model is one in which chains of events split into further layers of possible paths. Let's return to alcoholism. Drinking produces greater mood change for some people. Those who find alcohol to serve a strong palliative function will be more likely to use it to calm themselves. For example, if they are highly anxious, alcohol may tranquilize them. But even this tranquilizing effect, we should recognize, is strongly influenced by social learning.


Among drinkers who are potentially vulnerable to alcohol's addictive effects, most will nonetheless find alternatives to drinking to deal with anxiety. Perhaps their social group disapproves of excessive drinking, or their own values strongly rule out drunkenness. Thus, although people who finds alcohol redresses their anxiety are more likely to drink addictively than others, they are not programmed to do so.

Table C. A Path to Alcoholism
A Path to Alcoholism

Mirror, Mirror

The goal of determining what proportion of behavior is genetic and environmental will always elude us. Our personalities and destinies don't evolve in this straightforward manner. Behavioral genetics actually shows us how the statistical plumbing of the human spirit has reached its limits. Claims that our genes cause our problems, our misbehavior, even our personalities are more a mirror of our culture's attitudes than a window for human understanding and change.*


SIDEBAR A: Twins "Separated At Birth"

An especially fascinating natural genetic experiment is the comparison of identical twins reared apart, which was the object of a project headed by psychologist Thomas Bouchard at the University of Minnesota. Findings from the project reporting uncanny similarities among the reared-apart twins were often broadcast to the press prior to the publication of any formal results. Yet, Northeastern psychologist Leon Kamin showed that most British twins supposedly separated at birth in another study actually spent considerable periods of time together.

The Bouchard team introduced to the press two twins who claimed to have been brought up separately as, respectively, a Nazi and a Jew. However, both twins claimed they thought it funny to sneeze in crowds and flushed the toilet before urinating! In another case, British sisters showed up in Minnesota wearing seven rings distributed identically on their fingers. Bouchard's colleague David Lykken suggested a genetic predisposition might exist for "beringedness"!

Few, if any, geneticists would agree that genes influence the order in which people urinate and flush the toilet. Kamin waggishly suggested the researchers might use some of their grant money to hire a private investigator to see whether such twins had been playing a "trick" on the researchers. After all, such twins must have realized, amazing similarities between twins sell much better than differences between them. Identical twins who are substantially different are just not as newsworthy.


SIDEBAR B: How to Interpret Genetic Discoveries

We often need help in interpreting newspaper or television accounts about genetic "discoveries." Here are factors readers can use to evaluate the validity of a genetic claim:

  1. Nature of the study. Does the study involve human beings or laboratory animals? If animal, additional critical factors will almost certainly affect the same aspect of human behavior. If human, is the study a statistical exercise or an actual investigation of the genome? Statistical studies which apportion variation in behavior between genes and environment cannot tell us whether individual genes actually cause a trait.
  2. Mechanism. How exactly is the gene claimed to affect the proposed trait to which it is linked? That is, does the gene affect people in a way that leads logically to the behavior or trait in question? For example, to say that a gene makes some people welcome alcohol's effects does not explain why they would regularly drink until they become unconscious, destroying their lives along the way.
  3. Representativeness. Are the populations studied large and diverse, and does the same genetic result appear in different families and groups? Are those studied selected randomly? Early claims about manic depression, schizophrenia, and alcoholism were made with extremely limited groups and did not hold up. Findings about homosexuality will likely suffer a similar fate.
  4. Consistency. Are the results of the study consistent with other studies? Have other studies found a similar genetic loading for the behavior? Have gene studies identified the same gene or area of the chromosome? If every positive study implicates a different section of DNA as the major determinant of the behavior, the likelihood is that none will hold up.
  5. Predictive power. How closely linked are gene and trait? One measure of power is the likelihood a syndrome or disease will appear given a genetic disposition. With Huntington's gene, the disease may be inevitable. In other cases, only a small minority with a claimed genetic predisposition may express a trait. For example, accepting the original Blum-Noble figures for the A1 Allele, many more of those with the gene would not be alcoholic than would be.
  6. Usefulness. What use can be made of the proposed discovery? Simply warning people they will have a problem may be little help to them. Teenagers with an "alcoholism gene" who are told they are genetically predisposed to alcoholism may believe they cannot drink normally. Since most of them nonetheless will drink, they are then set up for a self-fulfilling prophecy in which they act as they had been told they would. If a proposed genetic discovery is not useful, it is merely a curiosity or, worse, a distraction from real solutions.

Ruth Hubbard assisted Stanton and Rich DeGrandpre in the preparation of this article. She is the author, with Elijah Wald, of Exploding the Gene Myth.

next: Promoting Positive Drinking: Alcohol, Necessary Evil or Positive Good?
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). My Genes Made Me Do It, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/my-genes-made-me-do-it

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

Do What You Love To Do

Possibly the greatest advice I ever received when I was trying to make a career decision, was "do what you love, the money will follow." I didn't really believe it would work. It took me years to develop the trust implied in this idea. I guess what made me nervous was I didn't know when it would come true. Next week? Next month? Next year? I didn't know.

"Success isn't the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Herman Cain

But as I thought more and more about it, I determined that it didn't matter when the money would show up, cause if I was doing what I loved, then that in and of itself, was enjoyment.

Your desires are trying to tell you something. Honor the things you want. Give them value, weight, and importance in your life. Don't dismiss them as trivial or silly. You're having the desire for a reason.

Q: What do you see yourself doing five years from now?.
A: I have no idea. I've never had a career plan and never will. I just always make sure that I'm doing something I love at the moment, and find out where it takes me. I float down river, then I wake up and say, "Oh, here I am. I've had a swell float."

- Diane Sawyer, interviewed in US magazine, Sept., 1997

If you don't feel you can quit your job right now, then find a way to incorporate what you love to do in your free time. I've heard many people say they wanted to become writers but couldn't because they had a secure job and weren't sure if they could make enough money writing. To them I say, "Write. If that's really what you want to do, carve out a block of time and write." If you honor your desires, you will find the time to do them. If you don't, then there's something about your desire that's not clear.

"If you always do what interests you, then at least one person is pleased."

- Katharine Hepburn's mother

What is it you really enjoy doing and are you doing it? You can read more about doing what you love, and money on my Dialogue with God on Money article.


continue story below

next: What Is Happiness?

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). Do What You Love To Do, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/creating-relationships/do-what-you-love-to-do

Last Updated: August 6, 2014

You Know You Have ADHD When...

A light-hearted look at ADHD.This is meant to make you smile (or maybe even raise a giggle). It is not a set of instructions for you to follow. These are all things that were posted on our addult forum board under the same title as above!! So Thanks to all those who contributed

You know you have ADD when.....

You're still sitting at the stop sign five minutes after the traffic has cleared and then forget which way you were going

You know you have ADD when.....

You're still sitting at the stop sign five minutes after the traffic has cleared and then forget which way you were going

You know you have ADD when.....

You go on the web to find an answer to help you son with his homework and two hours later you have to go and ask what you were looking for

You know you have ADD when.....

You run downstairs to get something to eat, but eventually find yourself back at your computer still hungry

You know you have ADD when.....

You're reading a book and go off on a tangent, and after you get to the end of the page,l you realize you don't remember one thing you read

You know you have ADD when.....

Your 3 year old daughter is ready and waiting at the door for you to get it together.

You know you have ADD when.....

You absolutely panicked in school, when your teacher would say, "Im only going to tell you the directions one time, so listen carefully

You know you have ADD when.....

You bump your head on the cabinets doors you left open.

You know you have ADD when.....

You call your child by the dog's name, twice in one week.

You know you have ADD when.....

You set out to clean the whole house, only to find yourself still in the bathroom two hours later, and on the floor scrubbing the corners with a toothbrush.

You know you have ADD when.....

Your always late and in all reality, you had plenty of time to get there

You know you have ADD when.....

You go to your neighbors to borrow something and you go home without it

You know you have ADD when.....

You keep important things in a place called "It's in a Safe Place" and you have No idea which one it is

You know you have ADD when.....

You know your room is messy, cant bring yourself to clean it, would love to have a clean room, but when someone starts to clean it for u- it bothers you and tell them that oyu'll clean it tommorow

You know you have ADD when.....

You remember Dad's birthday is July 10th, you know today is July 10th, but you don't realise that today is Dad's birthday

You know you have ADD when.....

People who know you and your son have no problem believing that ADD is inheritted

You know you have ADD when.....

Your children have to point out the fact that you've worn the same clothes three days in a row

You know you have ADD when.....

Your alarm goes off 2 hours before time

You know you have ADD when.....

Your kids think nothing of watching you break a window to get in the house

You know you have ADD when.....

You come home and ask what's the strange smell and the answer is "you left the egg on the cooker and nearly burnt the place down

You know you have ADD when.....

You go to an appointment 2 hours early as got times mixed up




You know you have ADD when.....

walk around the house looking for the keys you have in your hand and the glasses you pushed onto the top of your head

You know you have ADD when.....

hubby is working late and phones you to ask to tape something that is just about to start. You put the phone down, think, I'll just put the kettle on and only remember the programme when Hubby comes in looking rather annoyed that you managed to forget... AGAIN

You know you have ADD when.....

your mum buys you a special plug for the bath that stops you from flooding the bathroom for the umpteenth time.... and you forget to use it

You know you have ADD when.....

you arrive at the school gates after the latest hols and wonder why no-one else is there, only to find they go back tomorrow

You know you have ADD when.....

You are sure not to make the same mistake twice and end up sending them a day late, cos you were sure the monday was another teacher training day ooops

You know you have ADD when.....

and, the letter from school with all the dates on, is in that 'special place' that you have no idea where it is lol

You know you have ADD when.....

once again, the two most important people in my life (My daughter and my other half) are angry with me for doing something which I had no idea would upset them.

You know you have ADD when.....

when you accidentally put your gym membership card (which you haven't got around to using for months) into the cashpoint machine by mistake, and it eats it

You know you have ADD when.....

when you have to phone the dentist/doctor yet AGAIN to ask when the appointment was, as you forgot to write it down / lost the card - and they say you've missed it

You know you have ADD when.....

when you go to your PC to look something up - and then 3 hours later realise you're still there - but have no idea of what you were looking for in the first place

You know you have ADD when.....

you have a day off, and can't decide which of your 101 hobbies / unfinished projects to do - and then all of a sudden it seems to be bed-time, and you haven't done ANY of them - and don't really know what you HAVE been doing

You know you have ADD when.....

your few friends think you're blanking them - and telling them that you misplaced your mobile (for the umpteenth time) sounds like a lame excuse (but is actually true!)

You know you have ADD when.....

you flag up emails that you need to reply to - and then 3 months later rediscover them at the bottom of your inbox - and by then are too embarrassed to reply

You know you have ADD when.....

you work at a school, and feel far more comfortable with the kids than the adults

You know you have ADD when.....

you never stop looking for the perfect career, and reinvent yourself more often than Madonna!

You know you have ADD when.....

your children tell you to 'grow up'




You know you have ADD when.....

you can do just about ANYTHING, if it interests you!

You know you have ADD when.....

you are adaptable, creative, and intelligent

You know you have ADD when.....

nobody could EVER call you boring! ;-)

You know you have ADD when.....

you finally make it to your car, and then have to go back in the house 2 more times for things you forgot.

You know you have ADD when.....

you lose your debit card and can't find it for days, only for it to turn up in your tracksuit bottoms when your at work and can't remember how it got there

You know you have ADD when.....

you lose your mobile phone in the house and you try to phone it with your home phone only to realise that its on slient and you can't hear it ringing

You know you have ADD when.....

you find it extremely difficult to catch public transport and end up running to the bus station and trying to get the bus to stop for you...lol

You know you have ADD when.....

when you send your kids on an egg hunt but even YOU cant rememeber where you have hidden the eggs!

You know you have ADD when.....

when you forget to give your child a birthday present and find it in a cupboard a week late!

You know you have ADD when.....

you buy a memo board to remind you about appointments etc, only to find either you forget to look at it or forget to add the information onto it!

You know you have ADD when.....

you get a letter from a dentist saying you have to pay a fine for not attending the appointment, you swear blind you never made the appointment and argue with the receptionist, protesting that there is no way would you ever make an appointment 6 months in advance, until rather embarrassingly you reach to the depths of your bag to find the appoinment card.

You know you have ADD when.....

you do something as embarrasing as having a go at a loan company over the phone, making out you paid such and such when actually the money never left your bank account and you accidently spent all of it without even realising....lol

You know you have ADD when.....

You book the cinema tickets online.... when you get there to find theres no tickets, you have a real go at the customer services until they let you in without the tickets....Only to get home and find it was the wrong cinema!!! hahaha

You know you have ADD when.....

Windows[tm] brings up the offer of disability assistence when you've had to stop typing mid-flow to remember a name for something and got as far as holding the Shift key down

You know you have ADD when.....

u r really good n write a list n take it WITH u 2 the shop but get home and realise u only got 1 thing on the list (ketchup) and there is still a bottle unopened in the fridge,,DUUUUUHH,,,,,,

You know you have ADD when.....

You send a message to friend sla*ging ex off and then send it to ex. DDERRRR


 


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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). You Know You Have ADHD When..., HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/adhd/articles/you-know-you-have-adhd-when

Last Updated: February 13, 2016

Until We Meet Again

Ending therapy can evoke many feelings for both the therapist and client. Dr. Tammy Fowles shares poignant stories on ending counseling...for now.

In the past, termination of therapy sessions held more of a finality then it does for me now. It indicated that our work was completed and our relationship had come to an end. Today, while it still marks the completion of the work we have contracted to do together, the door remains clearly open. The client is invited to return to do another piece of work should the need arise.

Every seasoned therapist is aware of the powerful feelings that termination of therapy can evoke. Feelings of accomplishment and pride can often be overshadowed by feelings of anger, fear, abandonment, grief, and loss. This critical event requires great skill, empathy, and the careful attention of the therapist. The therapist must assist the client in moving towards the future with confidence and hope. The client must possess the skills to maintain the gains that have been made, master the separation, and what it may uniquely represent to the client, and be able to reach out for assistance in the future should the need occur.

We have all witnessed the rather sudden regression of some clients as termination approached. While it is important that we honor the client's present experience, it is also necessary to recognize that the regression will probably be resolved as the client successfully works through his or her concerns around terminating treatment.

Therapists must prepare clients for termination from the beginning. Approximately three sessions prior to termination, I ask the client to begin to think about how they wish to mark the occasion, and a date is set.


continue story below

RITUALS

I am a firm believer in the power of rituals, and more often than not incorporate them into the final session. I encourage my client to create a ritual that will mark the completion of his/her present piece of work. I welcome him/her to invite others to participate if he/she chooses. Sometimes the ritual is as simple as lighting candles and incense, while the client reads what he/she has written for the occasion. Then, I might read what I have written and, at times, then sip sparkling cider out of champagne glasses. Other rituals are more elaborate. One woman wrote a brief play representing her therapy journey and had members of her support system act it out. We then sang songs, testimonials were delivered, and we feasted on food that participants brought in. It was a powerful and empowering closing. A man with whom I worked was a lover of music. I had asked him earlier to produce a tape containing on one side those songs which represented his pain and struggle and on the other to record music which inspired him and represented his achievements, strengths, and growth. He played this tape during our final session. Another women with whom I worked had shared with me that her parents had never once acknowledged her birthday. They had never baked her a cake or offered presents. On our last session, I presented her with a cake and a gift-wrapped journal.

What To Take Along

I almost always request that my client bring in a letter of support written to him/herself from the nurturing, supportive part of themselves to our last session. I request that he or she read it out loud, and I then read my own letter of support written specifically to this particular individual. Generally, this includes reminders, observations of how he/she has grown, and strengths which I have appreciated along with encouragement for further development. I try and always mention something about the individual that I have found to be unique and wonderful. At no time have I worked with someone where such a quality could not be found. The client is instructed to keep these letters and read them whenever he/she is in need of reassurance. It's a reminder of his/her strengths, the lessons that have been learned, future goals, self-care commitments, etc.

Life Stories

Erving Polster, in his book, Every Person's Life is Worth a Novel, acknowledges the healing involved in an individual discovering how "remarkably interesting" he or she is. In part, it is the recognition of this truth that prompts me to suggest to each client that they write their own story. Often when the client is sharing his or her story with me, I make observations, comment on the significance of a certain event, the beauty of another, etc. I make suggestions such as that a client may want to explore a particular aspect of the story to a greater degree, or acknowledge the pain, strength, etc. of the main character (him or herself) more fully. I often find myself pointing out that the writer has demonstrated no empathy or compassion for themselves in the telling of their story and recommend that they go back and attempt to do so. Very often it is a review of the finished product that becomes the focus of our final sessions.

A client with whom I had worked for some time (I will call her Anne), and whom had suffered extraordinary sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of her father, brought in her story. The story was written not from the perspective of the adult, but from that of the little girl. As she read it, for the first time, she began to cry from some deeper place. While she had shared her story before, it was much more akin to a recital with minimal expression of her pain. Now she was truly grieving, as she allowed her child to speak directly versus controlling the child within her by speaking for her from the intellectual stance of the adult. Since this time, I frequently ask that when a client's issue stems from childhood pain, that the story be told by the child, not revised and edited by the adult. I have found the child's story to be far more powerful and empowering, and I am grateful to Anne for this and many other lessons which I have learned from her.

I have kept a notebook for several years, although it has been misplaced on more than one occasion. While I started it in around 1985, the book's contents are few and far between. The purpose was for purely personal growth, and so very often I do not identify the particular source or even the date in which I entered it. I ran across an entry the other day that I would like very much to include here, although I confess that I have no idea from whence it came. It is part of a story I either read or had told to me. Somehow it feels like a very appropriate way to finish this piece on termination.

A woman shares with her therapist that she feels her life is over. Her therapist responds by sharing a dream he had with her. In the dream, the therapist hears, "You never finish anything." This troubled the therapist greatly for a very long time. Seven years later while listening to a tape, he had an insight, "Who says you have to finish anything? Nothing is ever really finished as long as we are alive." He then suggested to the client that perhaps she could conceive of her life as a continuation of her parents, and her children's life a continuation of hers, and that the process will continue as long as there is human life.

next:A Room with a View

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). Until We Meet Again, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/sageplace/until-we-meet-again

Last Updated: July 18, 2014

Bibliography

Getting Off The Rollercoaster

BARDOM INNER HEALING TEAM. IT'S GOOD TO BE ME; SELF PUBLISHED 1977 1980.

BARKER, Raymond Charles. YOU ARE INVISIBLE; DeVorss Co. 1973.

BEATTIE. Melody. BEYOND CODEPENDENCY COLLINS/DOVE.1989.

BIRCH. Charles. ON PURPOSE; N.S.W. UNIVERSITY PRESS. 1990.

BLOCH, Douglas. WORDS THAT HEAL; BANTAM. 1990.

COWAN, Dr.Connell. & KINDER, Dr. Melvyn.; SMART WOMEN/FOOLISH CHOICES BANTAM. 1989.

DALTON. Valerie. TOUCHSTONES; ASHGROVE PRESS. 1989.

EMBLING, John. FRAGMENTED LIVES; PENGUIN. 1986.

GAWAIN, Shakti. LIVING IN THE LIGHT; THE PYTHAGORIAN PRESS. 1986.

GIBRAN, Kahil. THE PROPHET; PAN. 1980.

HAYWARD, Susan. A GUIDE FOR THE ADVANCED SOUL; IN TUNE BOOKS. 1989.

HUFFINS, Launa. BRIDGE OF LIGHT; BANTAM. 1990.

JOHNSON M.D., Spencer. THE PRECIOUS PRESENT; EXCELY. 1984.

JONES, Caroline. THE SEARCH FOR MEANING; ABC ENTERPRISES. 1989.

JONES, Caroline. THE SEARCH FOR MEANING II; ABC ENTERPRISES. 1989.

KARAM, Peter. M. IT'S WORTH A THOUGHT; SPECTRUM. 1988.
KASL, Charlotte Davis. WOMEN, SEX and ADDICTION; MANDARIN. 1990.

KETHCAM and GUSTAFSON. LIVING ON THE EDGE; BANTAM. 1989.
KRISNAMURTI. THE AWAKENING OF INTELLIGENCE; GOLLANCZ. 1990.

McCOLL, Christine. LIVING SPIRITUALLY; GREENHOUSE. 1989.

METZNER. Ph.D., Ralph. OPENING TO INNER LIGHT; CENTURY. 1987.
MOMSEN, James. THE ULTIMATE FREEDOM; SPECTRUM. 1981.

PECK, M. Scott. THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED; ARROW BOOKS. 1990.
JAMPOLSKY, Gerald. G. OUT OF DARKNESS INTO LIGHT; BANTAM. 1989.
RICHELIEU, Peter. A SOUL'S JOURNEY; AQUARIAN. 1989.

SEGALLER, Stephen & BERGER, Merrill; THE WISDOM OF THE DREAM; PERIBO. 1989.

The Holy Bible. (Good News and Jerusalem Versions)

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). Bibliography, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/still-my-mind/bibliography

Last Updated: January 14, 2014

The Peaceful Balance

Getting Off The Rollercoaster

As I grow in awareness everyday, I come to understand that any fear or concern that comes my way, is my ego trying to get me to avoid a situation that might bring me some degree of discomfort or pain. I find that in many situations, the ego is evaluating probabilities that in reality do not apply, but genuine fears serving to protect me can still easily be identified by the connecting to my truth. It can be the same for you.

Remember the animal heritage of the ego, its duty is that of survival and we will always be influenced by this duty because it is part of our humanness. By understanding this fully, we are able to see that our first responses and actions may not necessarily apply. The intervention of our ego will always be with us, so by knowing this, we can come to a peaceful balance between the input that it has to offer for any given situation, and the input that our instinct will also put forth.

THE EGO HAS ITS PLACE:

We now know that ego is a normal part of being human, but we also are now very aware that it has its own particular place in our lives. We know that if allowed, it can dominate or even get out of control. We under stand the concept of instinct more fully, and celebrate our spirituality from a knowing that this is where our significance and true self is found.

Becoming proficient in the process of self examination, I found the ego began to take on new angles of thought. There were times when I became mentally exhausted from the continual process of scrutiny. From trying so hard to learn to stop and think before I would perform any particular action, I found myself at a point where I needed to prepare for another facet of developing awareness. I found I became tired of thinking so much, that the effort of making an effort seemed not to be worth the effort. (That's a mouthful). At that moment, my ego would come in and criticise me for being lazy. It a crazy scenario and it's very disheartening. I felt like I was in a no win situation.

How strange and complex this ego is. If we maintain that the ego is fear based, why would it condemn me for not trying to use an opportunity to expand and grow? Since the ego relates its fear base to patterns or standards of behaviour, the options it will deliver will be referenced to some established or regular conduct. If we are in the process of changing our life, one would immediately think that there is now nothing regular happening anymore, but if we stop to consider, we can find a link between our old thinking and our new thinking. If we are involved in change, and that change is continual and ongoing, then this very process is a regular part of our life. The new set of patterns and standards of behaviour that our ego will relate to, is the pattern of regular change.

Here I can see why it condemned me. I had slipped away from the new pattern of scrutiny and change, to echo an old way of thinking. From its fear base, it is fearing that I might slip back into old patterns. It is actually fearing itself; it is fearing its own method of operation.

The good news in this situation, is to know that the road to personal healing has now established itself without doubt. The old role model patterns residing in the subconscious are becoming redundant, and are now being replaced through the efforts and determination to become new. You would be transforming your inner most self through the Power of Love.

Remember that the ego operates on the pain and concerns that are upon us at the moment. Again, it is bringing about responses through its ingrained duty. In one respect, it is not rational, it is not logical, it is animal. This only proves to me more and more, how primitive this aspect of our nature can really be. It is still only trying to do what it thinks is right which also shows us how very easily it can cause us confusion. To think, we let this part of our nature play such a dominant part in our lives. We have been letting it get away with murder for too long.

When you encounter such a conflict, you must remember two important things. Firstly; It will be your ego who talks in excuses and rationalisations; not your TRUE SELF. And secondly, you need to call on an affirmation to assert your GOODNESS and COMMITMENT to growing in strength and Love. For myself I would say..."I am a good person, and I am trying my best". (For yourself, something else might be more appropriate, but keep its essence based on simple Truth).

I knew I was weary; I knew I was sick and tired of the relentless excuses that would follow my every action, but I also knew that from a wrong choice, I could allow these negative thoughts to gain strength and stop me from becoming a whole and fulfilled person. On the other hand, I also knew that one day my life would turn around and wonderful things would happen for me and the ones that I love. I knew I had to be Patient, I knew I had to have Faith, I knew I had Trust. I believed! ... I've always believed.

Now whenever I ever I have a fear or hesitation in doing some thing, I am able to ask myself peacefully...

"What is it, that I fear ?... and why do I fear it ?"

Upon recognition of my fears, I find that all to often they are quite unrealistic and unreasonable, and that everything will be fine. When I have to, I find that I am now able to go about finding and executing solutions much more effectively. I do this by separating the Truth from the Fear. Sometimes I have to summon up courage, but I know that if step out against the fear, I will feel good about myself. Sometimes I still give in to the fear, but I acknowledge this as a choice; I may still be a slave to fear in one respect, but I am no longer a blind slave.


THE BEGINNING OF THE END:

Part of obtaining the peaceful balance is related to the previous methods or tools employed to expand your awareness. When you come to your own understanding of ego and how it seems to work with you and against you; when you can finally say you're in control, you can then lay aside all the questioning. Occasionally, I'll leave a tea bag on the sink, or not hang up my clothes, but now that I understand what is happening to me; now that I understand the methods that my ego tries to employ, I am no longer dragged down or living unconsciously under its control. In finding the beast that torments me, it turns into a little timid mouse. This is the magic involved in self discovery and there are wonderful revelations awaiting you. Through persistence, patience and courage, you will know of these things.

RADICAL ACTION:

When we consider the actions and effects of radical groups within society, we can recall the times when they began to assert them selves and their beliefs. Such groups are very often called weirdo's, nutters, exhibitionists, and many other names derived from un-thinking. As these people continue to strive and persist in their cause, elements of their beliefs are gradually seen to have substance, and the consciousness of society in turn, eventually swings around to their way of thinking. Initially their views were slammed by ignorance or the implication of the group's belief in that Truth.

In the closing decades of the twentieth century, we have seen tremendous changes in planetary awareness by groups akin to the Green movement. We have also seen radical People Power cause powerful empires to crumble. Through this radical action, the truth of these people was revealed to the world through assertion. This same concept applies at the individual level. By your radical action of pulling apart your inner personalities; turning them upside down and shaking the living daylights out of them, your consciousness will swing around to your new way of thinking and eventually the peaceful balance will be obtained.

Again, this concept will also apply outwardly to YOUR very own world. After your radical actions have brought you new Peace and Outlooks on life, you will then have to deal with the world which will now perceive your new self as radically different. When you have truly tamed your ego, you naturally begin to assert yourself in confidence in all things by love based motives. Here you will find how people can react with their own fears when dealing with empowered people. Again I maintain that from the fear base of ego thinking, people interpret your change and think of the implications that will apply to them through your assertion. Only Love will protect your cause, only Love will help you understand that they, like you, are all learning of Life.

However, the great majority of people will see your new self as something which rings within them as being wonderful and exciting. You can't help but inspire people when you walk tall in Love. When you are this confident, you then know that you can do Anything and you are not dependent on obtaining strength or power from outside of yourself. You do not listen to the ego thinking of others that express words and deeds to try and bring you down, for you know that your Love is your source of goodness, and that you never have to justify your actions because there is nothing to justify. You are living by your own deep and silent truth, and you are learning more and more about yourself and the world each day. You Will make mistakes, for we All make mistakes...we are all learning. No one human knows all things. It is acceptable to make mistakes because it is through them that we continue to come to new understandings.

Through understanding fear, we are able to see why people do what they do, and we are also able to understand our own actions more clearly. Therefore, we are able Love others as ourselves more fully. The more you delve into the complexities of life, the more you realise the limiting ability of ego thinking. When we fully see the peace in the present, a balance will be found that other people will want a share in. Because we live in Love, we gladly offer what we have learnt.

UNITING THE SELF:

As my own unity becomes more complete, I have found many other aspects of my life also come together. Throughout my working life I have been employed in diverse careers. My first job after leaving school was to obtain an apprenticeship in Signwriting. After six or so years, I entered employment into the art and promotions department of a large retail chain. After another six or so years, I had a "mid Life" crisis at age twenty six with an intense need for some change in career. The change was dramatic and I joined the Royal Australian Air Force to receive training in Electronics. Six years after that, (Funny about that.), I spent a year in a television studio, and then onto maintenance of computers and data systems.

Throughout that entire period, I have always had my guitar and my music. I have been writing songs over the years and it has been a great comfort to me. Because of the value of this comfort I've always had at my disposal, I decided to share it with you by the inclusion of the Audio Cassette tape supplied with this book. All my music has a common quality of Hope, with a Forward and Positive direction. I truly hope that you may find some gift in my efforts.

After the emotional crises in my life, I am now finding all aspects of my other careers have come together to help me in my new direction which is now taking shape. I use the knowledge of Signwriting, Songwriting, Art and Advertising production skills for the publishing of my own books. Though I didn't realise it at the time, being trained in electronics brought me to walk my very first infantile steps in understanding awareness philosophy. Through successful completion of the training, it opened my mind to the possibility that anything is achievable when you have the want. My very first efforts in getting recognition of my music saw five of my songs get placed on a Spiritual/Religious tape containing ten songs and it gave me immense satisfaction. It was from this that I decided to engage a sound studio and record some of my other songs to accompany this book.

This is my second book and it reflects my search for knowledge. It was born out of wanting to know why. Why things happen to people. Why people choose certain paths, and what is the hidden motivation in people that makes them do what they do. Through searching, reading, wanting, hoping, praying; through acknowledging my unknowing, I increase my knowing. I'm closer to understanding, but there is still so much to learn. What I end up learning, will be what I want to learn and what I need to learn.

For yourself, I can only hope that you respond to your truth which shall guide you to the knowledge that you need to possess. If there are parts of this book that seem uncomfortable or cause conflict, then a golden opportunity lies before you as a gift of understanding is awaiting discovery by you. It is waiting for your freedom and the understanding needed for that part of you which makes you feel as you do.


MORE GOODNESS:

Further things that will come to you as you begin to live in harmony, is a sense of increased vitality. As your mind becomes integrated through the efforts of restoring your unity, the burden of past hurts, guilts, and fears no longer exists. Your attitude is then reflected by the mirror action of life in your physical well being. In eventually finding my balance, I eventually found my peace. I learned to tame my ego, and it will be the same for you. Go out into the world knowing that you have a right to live fully and happily. It has always been your right and it always will be. No PERSON or EVENT can ever take that away from you. As you search for Love, know that you Will find the Love you've always been searching for. Perhaps it has always been so close to you that you didn't recognise it, or maybe you've been afraid of real Love; perhaps both. You will not be afraid of anything anymore. You understand how fears are born, and whether or not they are valid. You believe in yourself, and in doing so, others will believe in you. You are Free.

Be truthful and honest with yourself at all times. Don't be something that you are not. Don't be partial, be yourself and live the way that you've always wanted to. Be peaceful knowing that your Love and your true self will always guide you and look after you because it always wants the best for you. You need not fear going down any dark roads anymore when you are truly honest with yourself. You have always known your truth, now begin to live it.

CONTEMPLATION

Within me is a deep and fulfilling peace.
A Well that I am able to draw from at any time... if I so choose.

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next: Getting Off the Rollercoaster Appendix I

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 25). The Peaceful Balance, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/still-my-mind/the-peaceful-balance

Last Updated: January 14, 2014