Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior
Forgiving yourself for embarrassing drunken behavior can be tough. Being drunk is one of the most common reasons behind people embarrassing themselves or being stupid. It’s pretty safe to assume that if you have been drunk, you have embarrassed yourself in some small, minor way. And if you’re an alcoholic, you might have some pretty epic stories of nights that ended in a major embarrassment to you or someone else. In some instances, those stories are laughable and can be shaken off or simply shared in jest. In other situations, these are the ghost and horror stories of our drinking days: embarrassing drunken nights never to be admitted or acknowledged in any way because the shame and embarrassment was too great. Embarrassing drunken stories that fueled me to drink more. If I drank more, it would be easy to forget my shame. It took me a long time to forgive myself for my embarrassing drunken behavior.
Now, as a sober, recovering alcoholic, I don’t have that escape anymore. I still have embarrassing moments and I still remember the most awful nights of my drinking days, but I deal with them differently. This is what I do.
Feeling Embarrassed from Your Drunken Behavior? Let Yourself Swear
If my mind is wandering while walking to my car and I remember a particularly embarrassing drunken moment, I will spontaneously start swearing under my breath. To someone walking next to me, it might be a bit alarming, but for me, it’s an instinctive action that actually makes me feel a little better. Swearing is actually good for you, as proven by a study in the United Kingdom, and helps relieve stress. You can release negative emotions and release emotional pain through swearing, so don’t resist it.
Forgive Yourself for Embarrassing Drunk Behavior by Recognizing Your Shame
Much like with addiction recovery, acknowledging your shame is the first part of accepting and recovering from it. A totally normal human emotion, shame, must be dealt with in order to learn, grow, and move forward from a haunting past.
Don’t Try to Rationalize Embarrassing Drunken Behavior
Alcoholism is not rational. If it were, there would not be so many unanswered questions about the disease of addiction. Therefore, trying to justify or explain your drunken antics is a lost cause. Especially because when active in an addiction, people often behave in ways that do not align with their own moral code. So if you’re dealing with shame, chances are you already know what you did was bad or embarrassing and no level of rational thought will make that go away.
Remember People You Have Forgiven
When all else fails, remember that at some point in your life, someone else had to ask you for forgiveness. How or why did you forgive them?
The highest form of love is forgiveness. The greater the offense, the more love is required to forgive that person. Double the amount of love required when you are forgiving yourself. This may be difficult to do, especially in early sobriety when self-loathing is usually at its peak. If you aren’t able to quickly identify five things you love about yourself, you need to adopt some daily practices to boost our self-esteem.
Shame and embarrassment are good reminders of how our alcoholism shaped our behavior, and not in a good way. But like everything, they are only good in moderation: too much shame hinders us and prevents us from living life fully. Work through the embarrassment to forgive yourself. Only then will the shame of your drunken past begin to fade to a memory devoid of pain.
Creative Commons photo attribution to mloberg.
Doyle, B. (2015, July 2). Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, December 9 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/debunkingaddiction/2015/07/forgiving-yourself-for-embarrassing-drunken-behavior
Author: Becky Doyle
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I keep finding myself getting too drunk and doing regrettable, embarrassing things.
Last night I fell at the bar and had to be carried out by the bouncers cuz I was so wasted. A few weeks ago I got super wasted and went to bed and apparently woke up in the middle of the night and just started pissing on my friends feet who was sleeping on my couch. Another time I got wasted woke up in the middle of the night and pissed I’m the corner of my buddies living room.
These were definitely my most regrettable things. I’ve never been a mean drunk or promiscuous but my problem is always just getting too drunk and sloppy losing balance slurring words and it happens often although most times that I drink it doesn’t happen; it still happens too much that I’ve thought about quitting alcohol all together but I have too much fun with it.
21 years old and still struggling to control the liquor and not let it control me.
I always tell myself I’m not going to get blackout and I tell my friends I’m taking it easy but then I always seem to go over board. It’s hard to find that golden zone of feeling good and staying there, if u stop drinking you’ll lose that nice buzz but if u keep going you’ll lose it too by being too sloppy it’s a tough skill to learn.
I got incredibly drunk once in my public library right down the street from my house and started playing the music super loud on my laptop. One lady kindly asked me to turn it down to which I replied, "you'll be closing soon". Then another two people came up to me asking me to turn it down to which I said "what you gonna do about it!!!" To which the gentleman replied "I will call the sheriff's department" and then I just started saying "That's a low blow bro!" Over and over. I promptly gathered my things and left and then started insulting all the librarians as I walked out. Soooooo embarrassing in retrospect. I know that not as bad as some of these atories but I honestly love the library and was even thinking of working here cause it is such a beautiful location and I am a bibliophile. Probably not going to happen. O want to write a letter of apology to them library staff for my behavior.
Its difficult. Because for me if i get drunk but dont do anything wrong i still get the same shame as when in the past i have done bad things. I know that when i see drunk people either just being really drunk or are actually doing silly things. I pretty much forget about it straight away, it doesnt bother me. But when its me i get a sinking feeling of dread. Im more out going when i drink so worry about how people see me. Its strange i think most of the torturing we do to ourselves after by over thinking, just makes it worse than it is. But its hard not to think and feel this way
Sherry, I feel the same exact way. Even if I remember everything, I still feel so humiliated. One thing that I have learn by doing some research on this is that most people that feel this way without doing anything wrong are more than likely struggling with social anxiety. Idk about u but I do. I can be sober yet still feel embarrassed so when I drink, the feeling only gets way worse, the next day. I feel like a lot of our issues are all in our heads. If we see the drunk person at the bar, more than likely we don't give much thought about it so let's all just remember that PLUS there's probably plenty of people that are in the same boat but we don't see their drunkeness because we only hold a magnifying class to ourselfs. All this is just an anxiety issue. We need to forgive ourselfs and let it go because there's plenty of other people that are out there making an ass of their selves too. Alcohol brings out the worst in everyone unless ur the type that can have one drink and quit but most people don't.
Me just mad e a a** out of myself this Saturday only in front of 2 of my cousins a couple accuaitences and talked stuff to my BF over the phone and oh yeah started calling family in mexico crying like a complete fool omg how embarrassing!!cussed my boyfriend out and etc so I feel bad now my cusin was like that why i dont like kicking it with you when your drunk you so aggresive and a mess !!that ticked me off because she a bigtime drunk more than me But yeah she the type to not even take care of me scre her any your good [moderated] you know forgive your self sweety and move on no one is perfect !!
Your stories haven't helped me feel better about my drunken stoopers. I have made a huge a** out of myself numerous times but this one incident beats them all. So me and my best friend at the time went to her brothers Halloween party. I have severe social anxiety and i tend to drink way more than I should if I'm around people I don't know. I didn't really embarrass myself at the party besides being a little loud and trying to get a gay guys number. Ugh. Anyways, the problem was when I got home. I don't remember anything. I woke up at 10am the next morning with a text from my friend, saying to delete my Snapchat story. What did I post?! I posted videos of me topless, saying really nasty, dirty, provocative things. I also posted 3 topless pictures of me. All my co-workers and friends were on my Snapchat. They all saw it. Even better, there were 12 screenshots of me! I quickly delwted everything Even though the damage was already done. I was so mortified. Best of all, I broke up with my bf a few weeks before this and his friend saw my snaps and told him all about it. Way to kick a horse while its down. I still cringe thinking about it.
Oh Gosh, I had something like this happen to me, and the anxiety that came after this was the worst I've ever had.
Not to one up everyone, but I might take the cake on this. I'd like to start b adding I'm 6'5, avid gym goer and about 285 lbs. so, here it goes.
I wen with my girlfriend to a winery/brewery to meet her friends/parents for drinks and outdoor fun, seeing it was the first nice day of spring. We had a great afternoon, playing board games while drinking outside of this winery, about 10 of us. After a few hours we decided to go back o he friends house and say goodnight to her parents. So, I bought a case of beer and pizza for everyone, honestly, I wanted o make a good impression for the ppl that are close to the woman I have grown fond of. After I got back with her friends otdiwnd from picking up the pizza, my night changed forever. Now at this point I've probably had a dozen or so beers over a few hours with little amount of food. Her friends bf offered me a shot of Jack honey. While everyone is looking at me to take the celebratory shot, I didn't think at all if this was a bad idea. I took it, and another. That moment is the last moment I remember until I remember siting in the back of a cop car, being taken to a county prison. Thy night, I was told I tried jumping off a 40 foot balcony, pushed my gf, split my head open somehow, had my gf's friend chase me around town for 2 hours, trying to calm me down, I ripped a railing off a house, attempted to punch out a windshield(no f-ing idea) and verbally berated everyone. To boot, I was pulled over, driving the opposite direction from my house, earning my first DUI. It has been 1 week since this happened. Every time I think about this, the deepest amount of depression sets in. My girlfriend, who I adore imennsley, has her friends not talking to her, and haven't said to her she should break up oth me, but it doesn't need to be said. I have treated this girl like my queen, with respect and honesty, aside of a bad 3 hour time frame. I don't know how to get over this, she breaks down crying every few hours, she doesn't want us to break up, but even tho I feel I was drugged or something and can't remember any of this, it will be the reasocso man things happen differently in my life. I feel like a complete waste of life. But letting er go will ply hurt her more and I know I'm far better of a man than got I was that night. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Nate.email@example.com
Well I just got wasted on Saturday making a a** out of myself,, So yes it bascically lets us know we cant get drunk ever lol A feww beers and thats it ,Like really the damage is done you cant go back your paying for it now with the DUI and all you can do is apologize to the people that were there and your GF, I think its forgivable !!keep your head up I mean IT COULD'VE DEFINITELY BEEN WORSE !Dont drink like that again
Nate- How are things going for you now? Have you been able to feel a little bit better and deal with some of the tough feelings? I sure hope it all works out for you guys! Don’t let that day define you; you already know that that is not who you truly are. I’ve been there/am there and it’s awful. Best of luck!
Nate, I have had a similar issue and woke up in jail with a felony charge. I was pepper sprayed and butt naked. I didn't remember anything that I did but I got naked and fought some cops inside of a bar In front over everyone plus my friends and family. If you read thru all of these stories u will see that we all have done terribly embarrassing things that can't be taken back. We torture ourselves as we replay it over and over and over again in our heads. If we don't remember then we worry about what all we can't remember and basically punish ourselves. I can assure u that almost everyone in this world has had a terrible night gone wrong in front of people due to alcohol. We've got to forgive ourselves first, recognize what we have done and ask for forgiveness to the people we have hurt and to yourself. We can't change the past. If your girl truly loves u, y'all will work passed it. Let time pass and that gut wrenching feeling of guilt and embarrassment with eventually subside. There's nothing else u can do but forgive and ask for forgiveness. Trust me, everyone has had their moment of same so ur not alone. Hope this helps.
It sounds like you were drugged!! Off course you were drunk as you already admit that but the rest of your behaviour doesn’t fit with just being drunk, explain that to your friends and family, be careful and take care
I’ve had a few embarrassing drunk moments and I want to share because it might help me. We had a uni class event and I was out with my whole cohort. I got very sloppy drunk. A lot of the night is gone from my memory. But what I do remember is clinging onto a guy for a lot of the night. I don’t know how far things went. But I got kicked out of the pub and he messaged me asking if I got home ok. I looked at his fb profile and it turns out he is married. Everyone in the class knew this but I’m new so I didn’t. A lot of the rest I don’t remember but all bad I’m sure. Sos.
Oh god close thing happened me 2 days ago on saturday. I got so drunk at a party and appartment kissed some dude who likes me Then while this was going on there was this guy i LIKED AF who was at the party, and i stuck up my ass to him the entire might trying to hold his hand or dancing next to him or with him or anything and EVERYONE REALIZED AND I LOOKED LIKE A CREEPY girl and he OBVIOUSLY was tryna run away from me ( hes dating but suree alcohol made me pay no attention to that). And so this is 2 days after it and i deleted my instagram cz im super embarrassed and. Well the shame is healing but i made a COMPLETE FOOL OF MY SELF
2 nights ago i went to a bowling alley to watch my husband and his cousin bowl. All these men kept buying me drinks and then i went to the bar when we were done and proceeded to ask men to buy me shots. So my husband's cousin had a baby with a girl he was cheating on his wife with and she likes a guy that bowls there so i went and talked to him and proceeded to tell him that she's crazy and they got mad at me for defending my husband's cousin. Then my husband had to literally force me out of there and i got angry and yelled at him in front of people and I woke up to a text message from my husband's cousin and it said apparently we are having sex? I don't know what the heck else i said to make someone think that and now i feel like i can't even show my face at the bowling alley anymore
I was at my friends gatho with around 15 of my good friends. I got drunk and i made out with a guy. Didnt seem like a big deal at the time, nor the next morning when my friend told me all the stuff i had done. Monday comes around and I confront this guy about slapping my best friends butt, because she obviously didnt like it. Take note that this guy who had slapped my friends butt was the same guy who had liked me for 2 years but was stuck in the best friend zone until i crushed his heart by getting a boyfriend. I tell him to have some respect and he retaliates by comparing him slapping her butt to me drunk kissing the guy. I had even asked if the guy was okay with it just to make sure i hadnt gotten mixed signals. But the guy who slapped my friends butt (lets call him Dave) exposes me (or tries to, im not too sure because i dont know if it was the truth) says the guy i made out with (lets call him bob) didnt want to kiss me and all these other things. Throughout the rest of the day i just got shit (it was purely banter but it was still hurtful) from mainly the guys and stuff. Im just conflicted on whether or not it was the truth, what Dave said. Because my best friend told me she also asked Bob if he even wanted to and he said yeah. I’m not sure if Dave was embarassed and just wanted to retaliate by making a lie and telling everyone about it or if t was the truth.
I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I was doing so good, had my life together until I started drinking again this past week. Saturday I was working and this cute delivery guy I messed around with stops by. I haven't seen him for 3 weeks so after he does his delivery, he asks what time I get off and I told him 4 so his like ok i'll still be around then, stop by and visit me. So after my shift, don't know why I decided to drink shots. It hit me when I stop by the store he was at and the rest is a blur. I got arrested in front of him, I remember him talking to the police and my car got towed. I only got protective custody but from what I gathered from a few people, I nearly ran over somebody and I scraped my new used car. Scary and I feel so stupid. I live in a small town and I'm just so embarrassed. I wonder what he thinks of me now. I don't want to see him or face anyone for awhile but unfortunately I work in public and have to face it. Such a humiliating ordeal I just wanna cry and cry.
I got so drunk last night, i ruined this guy's 21st bday party. I was falling down and rolling around on the ground, grabbing guy's penises and being sloppy agressive and sleazy even though i have a boyfriend and i spilled beer all over his porch several times. I made a fool out of myself being loud and obnoxious
I'm hoping sharing will help me recover from the other night.
I went out with my fiance to his friend's 30th. I'd already had a long day at work (overtime on a Saturday), and hadn't eaten much. 5 glasses of wine, then a horrendous concoction some random girl created for three of us.
On wine #4, I acted really awfully towards a couple of blonde girls (friends of the birthday guy) for talking to my fiance (in front of me - I doubt he was trying anything on, and even if the girls were being flirty I was RIGHT THERE). I proceeded to very obviously flash my ring and loudly call him my fiance, announcing that we were getting married and basically marking my territory in front of them until they went away. He was humiliated, he told me later that had upset him the most, and that he was really turned off by my jealousy; he was insulted by my lack of trust, by my inference that he would even consider something like that, embarrassed that people saw me acting so awfully to other people and frightened that he was going to marry someone so controlling, so insecure. Anyway.
We all left the pub, went to the birthday boy's house where I danced for about 15 minutes before passing out on the couch, legs spread wide open. A guy made a comment, my fiance nearly got in a fist fight with him. He explained later that the guy wasn't being crude, but called me fat. I've put weight on lately and I'm very, very conscious, so that just adds to the humiliation. This was right in the centre of the room, and I'm mortified considering what I was wearing, what I must have looked like, what they must have said. People were laughing at me.
FI carried me into the bedroom, let me rest. A nice girl (the one who made the awful drink) sat with me, gave me water, looked after me, told me we've all been here, it's ok. I was crying, telling her I was mortified, I never do this. I never get this bad. She said it was ok. I threw up (in the bathroom, thankfully). I think fiance helped me, but it might have been the girl, I'm not sure. Went back into the room, and all of a sudden started yelling at my FI, calling him an arsehole for talking to the girls, how dare he, I was calling them sluts, etc etc (these girls are in the house as well, probably heard every word). The guy whose room it was was being nice, helping FI and my other friend, but he was like okkkayyyy and left when I started screaming at FI. I storm off, stumble through the party, sobbing, out the front door, pretty much fall down the stairs, out onto the street. I can see people looking over the balcony at me.
FI follows me, yelling at me, trying to keep me off the road. I just keep going (I do this when I'm drunk, I just run down the street like an escapee. I don't know what I'm running away from, but it's like I can't stop. It's dangerous and ridiculous). I remember him getting angry, saying he doesn't want to marry me anymore, he can't handle this. He flags a taxi down, but I don't have my bag. He puts me in the taxi, gives me $30 and sends the taxi off.
The rest was ok, I guess, it wasn't in public and while we both lost a bit of sleep, it's forgivable. But I humiliated both of us at the party. These are his close friends, I'm new to the group. They don't know me well, but I felt like they liked me. Now they see me as this crazy, jealous, clingy psycho who drunk-cries and passes out after a couple of drinks. That's how they'll remember me. And that's how HE'LL know his friends remember me. I feel like I've completely alienated both of us from his circle.
Yesterday we spent at home, recovering - from the drinking, and from the shame.
I don't think the wedding's off, but shit I feel like we can't go back from this. I realise everyone else was drunk, but I was the only one who made a real scene. I was the one who humiliated not only herself, but her man - their friend.
I've ruined not only my own friendships with these people but HIS. And that's the unforgivable thing, the thing I'm most ashamed of, and most afraid that will stain our relationship. He's told me he loves me, he's been really kind and gentle with me, but I can see that he's ashamed. I can see that he's concerned, and I'm so afraid that there's something that I've broken that can't be fixed.
No, just move on. Keep getting up and keeping to your goals. I'd say avoid alcohol. It is 100% to blame. Your story is something I relate to so well... God bless you. You were not yourself. Don't take the blame for anything you said or did under the influence. Our bad however is getting drunk and putting ourselves in those positions. Needs to stop. Set hard rules that you are allowed one or none. Work out to boost endorphins, show him that was just the drunkenness. Not you.
I'm joining the party:
I'm not very good at drinking and when I used to get drunk I would get VERY drunk and do the stupidest most embarrassing stuff. Anyways...
One particular time I started drinking really early and I went to my then-boyfriend's house to hang out with friends. I blacked out at around 2pm and I woke up the next morning didn't remember a thing. People were telling me I was possessed and that I was doing this weird shuddering thing with my eyes and taking my clothes off and acting..... again possessed.
The worst part is I woke up and did not remember a THING. I was so embarrassed. Still am... But honestly thinking back on it now, it couldn't have been that bad... (right?
I just laughed it off. The next morning one of my friends was nice enough to notice how humiliated I was the next morning and said "It's ok, we all do stupid stuff when we're drunk". His reassurance in that moment has makes this memory a little more bearable, god bless him
I'm not friends with any of those people anymore which oddly makes me feel a lot worse about what happened... But anyways. Everyone else's stories really help. Thanks.
Ive read several of these comments and i havent found one that makes me feel better i am the definition of alcoholic i know i have a problem but drinking is too much fun it literally makes everthing better so you can imagine i have a boat-load of embarrassing stories. For example... went to wally world noticed i have a tick (blood sucking insect) on my head asked a lady...complete stranger to pull it out. She refused so i proceeded to cuss her out. Went to a hotel at the beach hit on a very young girl fought her dad and threw up in the pool before trying to fight an angry mob. Called a sex line talked for hours cost me 640. dollars. Beat up my friend for brushing me at a well popullated party then cried infront of everyone cause he had to go to the hospital. Head butted a girl for eating my FF. Forgot i was having intercourse and yelled at the woman for trying to rape me. Totalled my truck... in my driveway.... 2 many fat women to count. Called to police to take me to the store cause i was too drunk to drive- they actually obliged me. Kicked in an unlocked bedroom door-mine. Broke a friends jaw for touching my dog. Burt many pizzas falling asleep. Slept outside in extreme weather (tstorms/snowing) i could go on and on. The point is chosing to drink is human nature we've all been there we ALL do stupid things everyone who drinks will eventually do something stupid. Dont beat yourself up about it. YOU WERE DRUNK! Best thing you can do is drink some more and prove to yourself it doesnt happen everytime. Works for me. Party On!
This comment made me feel so much better about myself! We have traveled down the same road my Friend. I was just beating myself up after a 5 day binge SMH!
Everybody’s stories made me feel so much better about my situation. I’m hoping sharing my story will help me feel even better about myself. I had huge plans with the hubby for our anniversary. Drove far to see a show and stayed in the city walking distance from the venue. The night went great for most of the night. It was the last couple hours things went to shit. I don’t get out much and I never drink. When I do drink, I think I’m in my 20’s again and can do a boatload of shots and be fine. Nope! I became a hot mess because I don’t know how to stop drinking once I start. Got cut off from the bar and almost got us kicked out. I know I danced most of the time, but my husband said I was spilling my drink on all the people around me. All I remember was apologizing to the people around me for stepping on them when I danced, but wasn’t aware I was giving them a booze shower. The worst part is that I barely remember the show I was looking forward to seeing for weeks. The night ended in a huge drunken screaming match with my husband. We never fight, so on top of the embarrassment, I feel like an ass for ruining his night and have anxiety over fighting. Now I can’t even listen to the bands music without thinking about this drunken episode. I just hope I can get over this and listen to their music again and just look back and laugh at it. I think my drinking days are over after this.
I had a bad night last night. But what makes it worse is that I ruined what was meant to be a wonderful evening for so many people. I went to a show by myself and to compensate for nerves and social anxiety I kept drinking glass after glass (it’s no excuse, I know, it was a slippery slope). I was loud and obnoxious and was shushed several times and told to shut up by those around me. I feel awful. I annoyed so many people. And worst, the people on stage most likely were annoyed by it too. I then saw comments about it the next day on social media. I cannot apologise enough (and I did to some of the people). I wish I could redo the night. I cannot stress enough how awful I feel. I am so ashamed of myself I just want to curl up into a ball and hide away from all social interactions from here on out. But with that being said, I have been trying to follow the advice from this article and the previous comments and I have to say it is helping.
I want on a 2 day drinking binge I’m ashame and embarrass
Of my behaviorv offended a lot of people I apologize
Learned lessons not to drink and keep my mouth shut ?
Reading through these comments this morning had really helped me so i thought i would leave my own. I was at my partners christmas dinner, we had predrinks before hand with some of the other younger people with in the company. I was drinking red wine all night which i never normally drink. I also suffer from an eating disorder so my stomach was totally empty and acidic. So i got chatty and friendly at predrinks and that was fine. We got to hall the company had hired out for dinner and I had more wine there. I could feel myself becoming way to chatty and noticing that i was the drunkest person there. I went to the bathroom and ended up not being able to get my shirt back on. A worker i know quite well from other functions had to come in and help me dress myself. I remember snippits of weird embarrassing conversations i was having. I ended up really angry at my partner although i have no memory of it and i got into a cab and went home by about 8pm. I had had an starter but left before the main course came out. To make it worse my partner didnt cover me, they told all their workmates i left because i was angry. Which i dont remember at all. I dont know the order any of these events happened. I am just so embarrassed. Everyones going to think im crazy and agro. I dont know what was wrong with me and so many people witnessed my behaviour
I know I have a problem when I start drinking. The eternal "I'll just have 2 drinks" ends in 15 drinks. Same happened last night. I went to a concert, but mostly because I knew a guy would be there that I had a thing with a couple of weeks ago. although I already sort of guessed he wasn't really that interested in me any more (he was at first) after also a ridiculous drunken night (another embarassing and long story). So, I'm there, he's there, he sort of stays out of my way, and I'm playing it cool. Chatting with other people, having a good time actually. He did come over once to talk a bit, but left rapidly. And then, then I started to get drunk I saw him chatting with other girls. That made me jealous - and drunk and jealous is no good combination. I walked up to him and asked "Do you think we will ever sleep together again?". He looked at me with slight disgust and shook his head.
Oh My God. Thinking of this just makes me want to dissapear off of the face of the earth!!!
Then later that night I deleted him as my FB-friend and went up to him to tell him about this. Another cringe-worthy moment.
To end it all with a message sent at 6 o'clock in the morning saying "I wanted you tonight, too bad. Byeeeeee!!"
Every time I think back to all of this (have been having flashbacks all day long) I could die of embarassment.
I'm gonna stop drinking. It's just not worth it.
Please don’t be ashamed about yourself. It just means you wanted something more and the alcohol was jus a trigger. You didn’t embarrass yourself as much as you feel. The best way for you right now is to focus on everything apart of this guy and don’t let him come back even if he would be begging for a one night stand. Guys can do really odd things to get another one from girl which previously shown she’s avaible for sex.
This happened Saturday night at a Halloween/birthday party. My girlfriend and I showed up to a party that her best friend and husband invited us to, I've known them as long as I've known my gf (9+years). As soon as we got there we were told that "we had to catch up" so we began drinking and taking anything alcohol related. Taking shots after shots, gummy bears with alcohol, apple slices fermented with alcohol, syringes with jello. I made the huge mistake of drinking on an empty stomach, I didn't think about it, the only thing on my mind was gotta catch up, finally have a night out with my girlfriend, I'm going to have a good time, also I'm nowhere near a big drinker. After me and my girlfriend were pulled to the dance floor, I don't remember anything. It was all blur, now my gf won't talk to me :( when I asked her what happened the next day, she said I had acted like a monster, I got extremely crazy and was put in a headlock. She said I was close to getting killed, I wanted to urinate and being in a costume I must've had issues trying to take it out and when I did a little girl was nearby so her father thought the wrong thing and was ready to kill me. To make things worst, she said I pushed her really hard and she fell on her back. I would never lay a finger on her and I am not someone who resorts to violence in any way. I can't find a big enough rock to hide my face under, this is the first time anything like this has happened to me and I can't find a way to deal with the shame. I feel what I have done is unforgivable :(
It was my birthday last week and I have been dealing with a lot of social anxiety, depression over career, life, existential crisis, other 22 year old B.S., so I really wanted to have a great time. I took myself to a concert I really wanted to go to, went out with my sister and cousin to bring the birthday in (which went amazingly well) and even went out again at the end of the week. The next day however, I went out one more time to celebrate with other big cousins of mine who have always treated me like a little sister. They always go out together because they're in the same age group, so getting to drink with them now is something I've grown fond of, even though I'm less of a pro. I knew I was still hungover from all the tequila I had the night before (which led me to cursing out a guy I really like for no reason), but decided to go meet them anyway. I didn't plan on drinking at first, but decided after a while that I'd be down for a couple of harmless shots. WRONG. A couple turned into a few, along with several beers, so nevertheless I became heavily inebriated within 3 hours. We decided to go out somewhere else afterwards, where I had more shots, mixed drinks, and that is when everything went to shit. Apparently I was so drunk that I was falling into my usual drunken promiscuity, which somehow could have allegedly tempted one of my cousins. I just remember walking back to the table from using the bathroom for the 18th time that night, and hearing one of my other cousins angrily say to him, "So you're gonna fuck your cousin? Really?!" Needless to say, that was awkward and embarrassing enough as it is, whether or not it was actually true. This should have been my cue to try and find my way home, but I chose not to respond and to continue on with the night. The next morning I wake up in a strange bed to cramps and completely soaked pants. I have no idea what happened after that moment, but the only flashbacks I gathered from the rest of the day included: 1) jumping on the bar to dance and being pulled down 2) flirting with a cousin's friend aggressively to make him kiss me 3) yelling at my friend to take a job offer and get his life together. It's 3 days later and I'm too ashamed to speak and apologize to my cousins, because I still don't fully know what they were dealing with from me that night. I still have no idea when and where I pissed my pants and who else witnessed it. I know it doesn't seem like it from this story, but my family is known to uphold a certain refined and classy behavior ("stuck up"), which none of this clearly adheres to. If anyone else were to find out what the hell happened that night, I would be labeled an alcoholic and socially branded as a problem-child. I am not an alcoholic, but do have issues that I need help with overcoming, and this godawful experience has finally helped me realize this. I hope this puts things in perspective for anyone dealing with something similar.
Whoa, you have had quite a night. Don't feel bad. At least you didn't end up in jail or killed or someone, and judging by your comment it seems as though your not married, so that's also another good thing as far as the flirting part is concerned. I've seen people do worse. Such as vomiting in middle of the dance floor, people mistaking the dinner table as a toilet or a urinal, or people actually admitting their long dark in the closet secrets. Be safe, and just forget about it. Your only human.
I'm 22 and I've been dealing with alcohol problems for quite a while, and I thought I was over it, until last night, I totally screwed up a party and started flirting with guys... I'm gay, but not the kind of person who does that... at all. Anyways my sister is really mad at me and her friends must think I'm a complete idiot. I'm the kind of alcoholic that cannot stop once I get started, and I've also had quite a lot of problems due to alcohol in the past. I think the best way to deal with the feelings of shame and regret is to know you're not alone. We've all done things we are not proud of. It's good for you to know that there are other people all around the globe that have deal with a situation like that in the past. I relate to the way you feel right now, and you need to let all the pain and discomfort out. Talk to people, and seek help. Remember you are a wonderful person. If you feel alone, talk to someone. This problem will make you stronger and wiser, and it will be as well forgotten. And if you ever need to talk to someone, but you don't feel safe, talk to me. I like hearing people's problems and helping them go through them. Have a nice day <3
I literally had the worst night of drinking in my life on Saturday and I can't face anyone. I can barely remember most of it. I started new medication and it clearly messed up badly because I got drunk so fast. Ive been dealing with a lot of mental issues and I just couldn't stop drinking and I think that night has pushed me over the edge because I tried to kill myself (not the first time) and I almost succeeded. Ugh the shame and embarrassment just makes me think how can I face anyone ever again.
It’s been a lot for me this week my 8 years live in partner left me for 6 days now, I went to a place a little far where I live ang I drink to forget him but things got bad when I was going home someone tried to chased me 2 woman and two guys whit a car the girl insisted to take me home and fallowing me but I was Afraid because I don’t know this people. I run and hide in the brushes when I saw that their gone I run like hell then I rich out the highway I took the jeep and cried somuch then people trying to talk to me and holding me I’ve freak out, and fall out from the jeep then so many people looking at me and police give a hand I told them I just want to went home but they keep fallowing me so I wears at them and to police I said I just want to went home and no body is seems to tell me how to get a ride because I didn’t know the place , but I walk and walk the still fallowing me and holding me so swear so much that what the Fxx. It took me an hour to find a taxe and the police telling them find out where I live that even freak me out somuch more. Some taxe didn’t want to give me a ride because they thought I’m strange and looking horable and dirty. When I finally have a ride home I’m still afraid they might make trouble of me. don’t know what to do with all that embarrassment:(
Hey Guys, Im glad I came across the website, I actually cant believe reading that other people do the same stupid things makes me feel ever so slightly better, I have reached a point where alchohol is ruining my life, Driving drunk, Phoning people when drunk, black outs and it just keeps going on and on, I dont drink every night but when I do I completely loose control, I am so embarrased about my drinking and behaviour that I feel like this hell will never end, I try and remind myself that I need to move on and forward but it is so hard! I know I cant continue like this. Im starting not even recognize myself. Well its only 4 days sober now, but I really hope I can start to build a life where I actually am not ashamed of myself!
it’s the same for me too, last night i went to a small party and i was the only person drunk so i embarrassed myself so much
Woke up the morning after my 28th birthday and realised I need to cut out alcohol completely and get some counselling. I am a problem drinker. I started drinking as a teenager to have "fun with friends" and have consisitlenly been a binge drinker since. Last night I had to be removed from a party which I refused to leave after an argument with the host. I lost my Grandmothers wedding ring on the street and really hurt and embarrassed my boyfriend with my behaviour.
I have a sister who I haven't spoken to in over a year after ruining her 30th birthday by getting wasted and having an argument with everyone there! I have woken up with men I don't know in my bed and during a holiday woke up in a house of a man I didn't know and couldn't remember the name of my hotel or speak enough Spanish to ask for guidance. When I did find my way back my best friend was waiting for my apology after I screamed at her in the club we were in the night before.
Really wrestling with my conscious today and wish I could erase the past! Hoping for a better me in the future. Must always remain sober!!!!
I was in a similar situation on Sept. 4th. Worse day of my life. Had a party for my husband and step son. I suffer from severe head aches so I took prescriptions which my doctor had prescribed. I was not going to drink because of the meds I had taken. Party got started and everything was fantastic. Well, I started to drink and do shots of tequila. All was fine until everyone left except my sister in law who dooesnt care for me, her husband and a friend. They stayed and we went in the pool. I was fine, or so I thought, and then, I wasn't. I started talking nonsense. I had heard stories that day from a friend who's friends are cheating and I must have had those stories in my mind. I started telling the stories but with me and my husband as the main characters!!!!!!!!! That we cheated on each other and other awful things which are untrue about us. My sister in law, not liking me, kept asking me questions knowing my state of confusion and drunkeness. My husband was also drunk in the pool. He was laughing. He knows none of it is true but I am afraid that my sister in law will tell the family and people will think the worse of me. I think about this and I cry, shake and get rapid heart beat. I feel AWFUL and I want to dye. I wont hurt myself but I do feel awful. I am thinking of explaining things to her but my husband says to just let it go. What to do??????????? I am mortified and so embarrased to have to see her again this Sunday.
I so can relate to Wresting with your conscious! I have a really tough time also having to think of what I did and how I acted! But I suppose realinsing I have a problem is half the problem solved
Oh you guys everyone has done somethinbg silly when drunk. think about it reversed would you actually take a drunk person seriously?! No...so forget about it people are too worried thinking about there own lives to focus on your being drunk. At worst just say sorry and that it wont hap again ;)
I hardly drink to much but with certain people I do. Usually I'm never left alone afterwards. I feel bad that I was taken to a public store while drunk with two friends and made an ass of myself in there, walked out of it alone and started hitting on a guy in the parking lot. A friend of mine went out after me and called me by my full name very loudly, twice while I think drunk and stoned herself. She denied being drunk, but she was stoned. I had told her not to say my full name when she had shouted it the first time and then she took a deep breath and screamed my full name at the top of her lungs. We shouted at each other for a while outside the store and then our sober person, her boyfriend and a relative of mine, drove me home. I don't remember how I got in my home, if I closed the door or left the keys in the door. I collapsed on the floor in the front hall and stripped. I sometimes sleep on the hardwood there if I am to hot. But I remember waking up to a stranger picking me up and putting me to bed and tucking me in trying to speak gently to me and feeling terror over them being there and I was panicing or crying, while they were concerned for me and they were not able to soothe my fears or quite me down. I think I was hitting their shoulders with my forearms. In my head I kept knowing the person and being okay with them being there to starting to see them as someone else who I didn't like and freaking out striking at them. They kept morphing back in forth between two people in my mind. The man with me was very gentle and kind to me the entire time, I think bewildered themselves at my behavior. There voice only ever remained soft and concerned. They listened to me talk. I believe they lectured me on not drinking and changing my ways which started to anger me and when I told them to leave they did. Then I remember calling 911 on my land line to complain of an intruder and kept forgetting what I was saying on the phone but kept calling out names of men I had known who looked like the stranger who I thought might have been in my home and I think I said I was raped, but I think that's because I woke up on the ground half dressed with someone standing over me and became frightened. I kept thinking it a nightmare to thinking it was real and forgetting what happened and what I was saying. They looked up some information and I think said I had misconduct with a cop (I do remember groping a good looking one at the store) and the police had made sure I got home safe and are allowed to enter a house if someone isn't safe. I didn't believe this as I didn't remember seeing a cop in my house and it wasn't one from the department where I live but another town over which I found confusing. I asked if that cop looked like the main guy I was worried about being in my home and they said, "Mam, I don't know what this person who you speak of looks like." I think I became irate on the phone and hung up and called 911 back where they said they would have me arrested for abusing the service. I apologized and unplugged the phone so I wouldn't call back. I feel bad for the men I accused and for calling at all to complain. I believe there was a man in my home, but I don't know what happened really, I think there was a lot of us talking, and I don't think they meant me harm. I know it was a person who had heard my friends and I when we were outside shouting in public who wanted to make sure I got home safe. I don't know who they were. I feel that I knew them from my past, a past friend maybe, and they didn't mean me any harm. I'm angry my friend shouted my full name and let everyone around hear who I was and angry that I drank on an empty stomach and angry with how I reacted to the whole ordeal. I'm just very very embarrassed and don't know exactly what happened. I just hope none of the men's names I called out to 911 got into any trouble, or got any cop if that's what they were into any trouble. I'd rather be labeled as a stupid drunk than to have gotten anybody innocent into any trouble. I am never going to go out with that girl again. I've been drunk maybe 5 times in my life, and that was the last time and the most embarrassing time of all. There is no rock large enough nor dark enough for me to crawl under. So mortified.
I needed to read this. been struggling for almost a week at what i may have done in an hour i cant remember last friday night.
My drunken behavior ruined my daughter's first birthday party, and it's something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. My marriage is in a weird place--started a new job recently...moved from another state and don't feel connected to anyone here, and totally fell weak to bottles of wine... even went to AA meetings and group stuff, but can not relate to anyone, so feel lonelier than ever. I was fine for about 3 months, but as I was warned about, I didn't "stick to the program"... lost my shit last Friday, and my husband canceled the birthday party as a result of my behavior from the night before--we had 50 people coming... and I had to call and cryptically explain last minute that it wasn't happening after talking about how excited I was about it for a month. Saying all of this to say--for the past 72 hours, I have felt sick, guilty, angry, scared, embarrassed, resentful towards my husband for airing out our dirty laundry, but mostly numb. I also know that I am a good mother. In fact, it's all I feel that I am good at these days--yet I managed to fuck everything up because I decided to drink way too much the day before her big party to "take the edge off/curb my anxietty" and now I will always just see pictures from her birthday-day and know in my heart that it did not turn out correctly because I let alcohol win.
I am an alchoholic visiting my parents out of state. I have been physically sober while here but not mentally. My oldest son who lives out of state joine me and my parents for dinner tonight at a mexican restaurant. I ordered a beer. Mom says if you notice you are the only one who is drinking. I said fine I will leave. It got ugly and embarrassing because she continuued to tell me I was just in rehab and it wasnt fair for me to drink and ruin everyones dinner...that they had deliberately not ordered drinks because of me...to help me. I am 51 years old. What they said is true but it set me off. I did ruin their dinner and break my sons heart. I just want to retreat into myself and fade from sight and existence. I am taking an earlier flight home if possible. Im stuck in my parents home.
Hating myself sms ashamed I had a ruff day Saturday night so the bf took me out I got severely liquor drunk. I remember leaving but not getting home. Next thing is waking up going to the living room and the excorsist came out. My in laws are my neighbors I even went banging on there window screening at the top of my lungs this isn't the 1st episode I had. But by fat one of the worst. I've tried to change that person I lost control and I can't snap out of the shame and embarrassment I feel it was so bad I tried to strangle myself. I left and I'm now at my mom's house hiding waiting for this to pass buy it won't.
A week after my boyfriend broke up with me saying that he likes me but does not love i wentto a paety with my friends.
He was there to but we didnt talk. Well, i went to take a look around withmy cousins boyfriend and we talked a little bit. My ex saw this because he was standing with his friends right next to us. He came over and told me that its shitty that i already foubd someone else
I told him who the guy is and when he went away i told my cousins bf that i won because he is hurt that i talked to someone else and how he played his role so good.
Unfortunately i was so drunk that i was talki g pretty loud (more like screaming)
Im pretty sure his friends heard what i said and told him.
Aargh, i hate myself for it
And after that i went tomy frie ds and told rhem too
But ofcourse loud again and everyone heard it
If i had just shut up after he went away i would havekept my didnity and a victory for myself.
Apparently drunken me didnt want to go it that way ^^'
I feel your pain guys. I'm 42 years old and made the awful mistake of mixing pain killers and vodka. I was at a local casino and obviously blacked out. I guess I fell on the casino floor and began verbally abusing the workers. I was taken into custody and spent eighteen hours in downtown jail. The things I said and did are probably better left unknown. But, as time goes on I'm starting to remember. I feel very embarrassed and even more ashamed. I'm 42 and have never been arrested ever. It's pretty sobering but the guilt won't go away. I feel like I should find the officer who arrested me and apologize. It really could have been worse. I could have been beat,robbed or the worst drove. Being in jail, I saw guys older and even younger that have had quite a few run-ins with this. I really don't want to be "those guys". Although, I feel more compassion for them too. Drinking can be hard core and the most destructive, especially when your blacked out. Long story short I believe I'm lucky in a way. But can't seem to live down the embarrassment. The co workers that were there and the girls birthday I believe I ruined will take a long time to get over.